All My Fault

A girl of about 15 stands on a chair centre stage, hands clasped in front of her. She stands staring at her hands. A soft light shines over her from above her head.1

Charlie: (She looks up scans the audience) “Charlie and Jordan, Jordan and Charlie, destined to be together forever!” that’s what they all used to say at school and they were right. Our relationship, it was more than friendship, it was more than an infatuation…or lust…it was the real deal. We were in love. Childhood sweethearts as my granny would say. WE were meant-to-be, everyone agreed. Nobody goes through High School with the same guy on her arm, for 2 whole years and it’s not love, it just doesn’t happen.2

They were wrong though, weren’t they? I mean we’re not to be together forever, are we? (She shouts) Are we? No… No we’re not Jordan! And it’s all your fault! You ruined it for us, not me! (She realises what she’s saying) I’m sorry, I’m just so upset, I really loved him, I can’t believe what he did…3

It wasn’t my fault, I didn’t want him to do this. I’m not sure this is the right time to tell you all why he did what he did. But I’m going to have to tell you it’s all too much for me. I’m sorry Jordan, but, they have to know, and no they shouldn’t - not like this… but they must, they have too, they need to know!4

It all started about three months ago, we were happy. I went to his house one afternoon, and his parents - Jeanette & Gordon – had went into town to do some shopping for Christmas. We took advantage of that… we had sex and the condom split but it was ok, it was my first time… it wouldn’t have mattered. Well, that’s what I thought anyway, but he told me otherwise. Two days later he took me to the doctors, they gave me a pill, and I took it, and everything was ok. It was all fine, and we had nothing to worry about. 5

(She slumps down into the seat and wipes a stray tear)6

Or so I thought. Two whole months went by, and I never had a period. Telling him was the hardest thing I ever had to do, it was all wrong, it wasn’t supposed to happen to us – we weren’t in some sort of story were everything went wrong. I got a test two weeks ago, we sat and did it together. (She fights back tears) Positive! We did everything right, we played it by the book and did everything we should of done, but still it was positive!7

The next day Jeanette called to say he’d overdosed and was in hospital. And it was all my fault! I knew it. I went straight to the hospital, took days off school, just to sit and look at him hooked to machines. Nobody can relate to what I felt right then, I wished it was me there.8

Three days later the heart beeper went like on the TV, and he was gone. He left me! He promised he’d be there for me through all of this. Where is he then? Jordan, why? Why am I left like this? Why has our child have no father? (She breaks down into a heap on the floor) Why aren’t you here Jordan, I need you! I love you!9

(Beat and the lights come up on the stage to reveal a coffin at stage left. She walks over to it and leans in to kiss the body)10

Please, just bury him.11