All I ever wanted to say...

Words flood my mind. I drown in my own words. Memories fill my lungs, trying to suffocate me to death. All I ever wanted to say was, “Happy Birthday!”1

I stammer my rehearsals, unable to face that wreck in the mirror. I feel like a toddler in the first day of school. All I ever wanted to say was, “Happy Birthday!”2

Thirty two is my lucky number, for it is at that count, that I manage to say it correctly, the way I want; the way it's supposed to be. I finally look at the loser in the mirror and say what I always wanted to say, “Happy Birthday!”3

Shirts and Pants fight to be matched with. After umpteen rejections, I finally settle with the worst set I could not imagine. The rehearsed words flow through my mouth, merely a gust of warm air, “Happy Birthday!”4

I don't see how beautiful the day is. I don't feel how cool the breeze is. I don't hear how sweet the birds are. All I do is mutter all I ever wanted to say: “Happy Birthday!”5

Lightnings strike, Waters rise, Fires rage, Eternity ends, And then God says: 'Here She is'. Silent words echo into my sealed mouth: “Happy Birthday!”6

People wish you. You smile at them. I die. My heart tries to break open its bone cage in a vain attempt to glimpse you. My mouth though, utters the silent mantra: “Happy Birthday!”7

You look at me. Legs tremble. Tongue dies. Heart starts spinning on its own axis. Time flies. Time stops. I parch inside, bathe outside. The mouth though, continues the chanting: “Happy Birthday!”8

You smile at me. I feel electrocuted. I stay stone-still, stunned, dazed, realizing with horror that I cannot utter a single word when you smile. My heart thumps so violently that I feel it in my throat. I mentally beg you to stop smiling, lest I shall never speak a single sentence. I beg you with all I have. You oblige.9

My heart slows down, only to die away into nothing. I start to die. In my final moments, darkness surrounding, seeing nothing, except that straight line of your mouth, I beg you again, this time to smile, lest I shall cease to exist. You oblige. Some one wishes you. You smile. I live. My mouth resumes the words, as if they were part of my existence: “Happy Birthday!”10

I stop before you. Everything stops before us. I want to tell you something. I search for the words, for they are lost, deep within the disaster struck areas of my body. I try to move my dead tongue to form the words I had painstakingly embedded into it. I finally manage to open my mouth. After a few lifetimes of emitting only air, the words finally begin to form. With all I've got, with nothing to gain, with nothing to lose, I begin to utter the meaning of my life. I get to tell till 'Happy', when you brush me off. 11

You give me that beautiful smile of yours, like a doctor who gives the child a chocolate after an injection, and walk away. I'm reminded again, that I am just another speck of dust in your world. But, like the last few minutes of sleep after the alarm in an early Monday morning, I savor the seconds of my encounter with you. I stand there, fingers shaking inside the pocket, tongue quivering inside the empty cavern, heart slowing to a run, and the eyes clearing. The words come out, audible now, wishing you who are not there. The words come out, slowly, but clearly: “Happy Birthday!”12

A contest entry

Basically based on feelings, so grammatically no grammar to be noted :D

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Comments

1 - 20 of 20

  • Vampiric souls
    March 21

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    This is very different!!!
    It was well written!!
    Thank you so much for entering!!
    ~Souls!!!


  • Cupcake14
    December 8, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Wokay, happy birthday!HAPPY BIRTHDAY! LOL, this was funny, but in a sad way. Really, the way he was going happy birthday, happy birthday, i could just picture a little nerd standing in front of a beautiful girl, haha, anyways why did you classify it as a poem? You put in some nice dark comedy, thank you for entering!


    • Kirin
      December 8, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      His feelings are comic to you??
      Well, Try as I may, I could never write a poem so, I satisfied myself by categorizing it as one
      Have fun hosting the contest


  • On.Cue
    November 29, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    That's a cute story on steroids =P


  • Frozen Angel
    November 21, 2008
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    I love the intesity and emotion in this piece. Thank you for entering.

    *Frozen Angel*


  • Living.Disaster
    November 13, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Author's Notes!!!!
    i like it though....
    Good Luck...


  • Dawn Bon
    November 12, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    ...im confusseed its okay im naturally confussed. but thansk for entering!


  • tonialoise
    November 11, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is quite good. Your wording is almost poetic. While the repeated "Happy Birthday" annoyed me a little (especially at the beginning but got better towards the end), it was appropriate.

    p11 "I get to tell till 'Happy', " this is a little awkward (nope not as much as the situation, just the wording. perhaps something as simple as "I get to 'Happy'"?

    I could certainly feel the nervous energy and awkward feelings. You did quite well!

    • Kirin
      November 11, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks toni! Hmmm.. I thought 'Happy Birthday' would do some good to it.... Obviously it hasn't... Oh well... Thanks Toni, for liking and improving my story...


      • tonialoise
        November 11, 2008
        Edit | Reply
        Hey, don't change the Happy Birthday thing. Like I said towards the end it paid off.


  • Atticus Unanimous
    November 11, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    At first I'll admit I was afraid this would be another one of those terrible contest entries that I often have to read. Happily I was mistaken.

    You've done a magnificent job with simple eloquence. It isn't overdone or under done. You've penned beauty far more comprehendable than the fantasy romances because most of us have experienced this. And oh how lovely it was! I could see no grammar errors which made it all the more enjoyable!


    • Kirin
      November 12, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      I'm happy that you feel you're mistaken Thanks for hosting!! May you get some great entries!!

  • delicate
    November 11, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    This is great <3


  • ninju
    November 11, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    " I'm reminded again, that I am just another speck of dust in your world. But, like the last few minutes of sleep after the alarm in an early Monday morning, I savor the seconds of my encounter with you. I stand there, fingers shaking inside the pocket, tongue quivering inside the empty cavern, heart slowing to a run, and the eyes clearing. The words come out, audible now, wishing you who are not there. The words come out, slowly, but clearly: “Happy Birthday!”"

    machan ... a masterpiece. I felt nothing till the last para but there you just said everything you wanted to. the end says it all. and i can feel it more because i was here through it all

    beginning: 1, language: 2, plot: 3, ending: 5, characters: 3.


    • Kirin
      November 11, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks machi... It feels so much that you like it... Hopefully I write a happy story soon


  • Andy Stephenson gold member
    November 11, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Another very good story.

    I'm not so shy about women as I once was, but I have been in similar situations. I usually did not even try. The solution to this is simply more practice. Keep trying. Realize that what she sees in you may be quite different than what you see in yourself. In addition, the more you speak to a person, generally, the more they will return conversation. A relationship can build. At worst, you've actually lost nothing in trying. Little to lose and much to gain.

    You might just purposely go around approaching pretty women to build your confidence. You may be surprised at how effective that makes you.

    Anyway, we are all specks of dust until something makes us more than that in the eyes of others. Perhaps a decision in yourself that you are more important.

    I like this story.

    Andy

    • Kirin
      November 11, 2008

      Edit | Reply
      Thanks Andy! I actually am very casual with girls when I don't have any feelings but, with something stuck in my heart, I just lose my charm... Things are a bit different in this part of the world, where dating is not popular yet so, it means you date only after you get committed, and hurts a lot when you break up.
      You were the one who guided me when i was new to SW.. I'm grateful for that so, I'll try to follow your advise in this too... Thanks Andy, for dealing with the emotional aspects of the story and not with the grammatical aspects of it

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