The sun abandons day because she sleeps
The dark and grey clouds rain because she weeps
The moon shines bright to try out-shine her light
But still no match for her despite his might.
A thousand birds do sing their song so sweet
And would the forest part for her small feet
Her beauty tells a tale the world will know
For some will come, they’ll sing, they’ll dance they’ll go.
It will be told an angel danced among them
It will be told she smiled and set them free
That smile would tell, “Love me for who I am.”
“Your father’s face, your mother’s sake, love me.”
Before they leave, she touches each their hand
And Moon’s bright shine, does shine on all the land.
Author notes
A Sonnet (14 lines) in an unconventional rhyme scheme, written in iambic pentameter structure (unstressed syllable followed by stressed syllable repeated five times to a line).
"Angel" was written for the most amazing human I know. She really is my angel and just as in the poem, you can stand back and just watch how she affects everyone else around her. When she walks in smiling like she does... it seems everyone’s spirits lift. So this was written for my angel, Stephanie.
It was my first real attempt at a full on formally structured poem with use of poetic techniques such as assonance and alliteration, hyperbole, simile and so on. I hope you all like this rather then my informal free verse crap.
T.
Comments
-
I LOVE YOU!
-
nice work within the restrictions
i am not usually a fan of structured poetry, opting myself for a more free flowing style, that being said, as you rightfully mentioned the unconventional rhyme scheme gives it that extra something. Despite the personal nature of the subject, this is something that everyone can enjoy, as we all have or at least wish we had, that certain "angel" in our lives.
I just re-read your comments and see that this was your first attempt at structured work, well done, it is impossible to tell!beginning: 4, language: 3, plot: 4, ending: 4, characters: 3.
Adding your comment:
