My Thoughts, My Questions

What is love? What is it? Maybe its a chemical imbalance in our brains, or maybe it's just an animalistic instinct that makes us attracted to one another by something so simplistic as appearence or sound. What makes us yearn for love? What makes us want to be loved? To be accepted by others? Why aren't we happy being alone? Why do you get that sickening feeling in your stomach when you and your crushes eyes meet? When he/she accidently brushes by you and smiles? How do you explain the feeling when you connect on a personal level with someone? When you stay up all night on the phone, crying and laughing at the same time? When you feel like you can die and be happy? Is this love? 1

What's the difference between love, lust and/or romance? Is it true to say that you can't have both, that you either have the physical or emotional attraction but not both? How can I say I like someone, when I know nothing but their name, grade, and a few other sparse details, and yet feel so crazy that I get excited, I turn red, and I get that funny feeling in my stomach when I think about who I like? Is it possible to fall in love with someone, both by their looks and your own opinions about their lifestyle? Is it possible to look beyond physical characteristics, to see beauty in someone who isn't insanly gorgeous or manly, to see the good in someone's personality instead of just the bad? Is it right to find yourself wondering about this person, when you don't even know him? When you have no idea what he likes to do, what he is really like outside of school, or when you haven't spoken to him but for a few words?2

Is it your right to say you like someone, when you see them everyday, yet you are too shy to say hello, too shy to start a conversation, and too nervous to join one. Why is it that we get so nervous? It's just another human being, and yet we seem so paralyzed, I feel like I'm sweating and turning red, and everything I say will come out studdering and won't be right. Is it possible to your right to like someone, know you will never ever tell them, know you will never see them at the end of the year, so go along and keep the same relationship you have with them now, never over-stepping boundaries and trying something new, because you are afraid? Should I be afraid? Is it right for me to doubt myself? Should you have confidence, take a risk and be shot down almost definately? Is it awkward to admit liking someone when they know nothing about you? 3

Are you ever uncertain about the future and it scares you? Ever worry that when the futures the present, it won't be what you wanted, and you can't change time? Even feel uncertain about your life, ever wish you could already start things over again? Have you ever had strict principles about how you should treat people, how you should go about your life, and yet you unknowingly break them every single day? Do you ever wonder how people look at you, what they are exactley thinking? Do you ever wish you could be a better person, and you know how you should go about it, but you never end up doing it? 4

Is it truly possible to be in love with more than one person? Is it right or wrong? I thought love was a good thing, love is supposed to be given as much as you can, everyone in the world wants and deserves to be loved. Human beings are such beautiful things, they are influenced so much by love. Is too much love bad? Is it bad to like a lot of guys, that way you have a chance that one likes you back, and that you can be loved? Is it bad to not wait, to just say I love you for the heck of it? Yes I think it is. 5

Sometimes I really dislike people. People can be so mean. Sometimes people need to grow up and be mature. Nothing good comes from bullying or being mean to people, it's a waste of life if you go around talking about everyones weak points. It's impossible to not have strong opinions about people, but that's no reason you need to spread it rudely. Talking about peoples looks is ridiculous, they cannot help how they look, so you might as well not bother making fun of them for it. Cute guys who make fun of ugly guys, turn out to be the uglier ones in the end. People all deserve love and friendship, no one wants to be left alone, no one wants to be hated.6

Sometimes I wish people would open up their eyes. There are people who care about them so much, they just need to look around. True friends are always there for you to talk to, to help you and make you smile when you feel like crying. There's no sin in getting weary, the sin is in giving up. And truthfully, I personally want to become a better person. I want to be friendlier and stop saying mean things about anyone, because it's not my place to say those things. I think that everyone should enjoy their life, they should smile and get along with everyone else, try and make the best of everything. 7

Now I'm kind of a romantic. It may seem a little embarrasing, but I just want to say something. I believe in love, and as many times as I get frustrated and say love is a lie, it's not. It's real, and I believe so deeply in it. True love never dies, you end up dying for it instead. Love is an odd word, I may not be the most expertized (Sp) in this area, but I do think about it a lot. I believe it's better to have a few true relationships than multiple small ones. 8

I kind of get a little upset when drama is created over love. This is not love at our age, and although there are sometimes cases of love, most of the time it is just puppy-love and lust. Mostly in highschool it's just lust, for the physical part of love. Would you truly die for your boyfriend you had for about a week? I don't think so. Would you want to marry them and have kids, spend the rest of your life together? Maybe, maybe not. I think love at this age is cute, because it's just us young kids trying to be loved, trying to find someone who cares about them, trying to have support at rough times in their lives. But when it comes to cheating, I think it is a little over-played. True cheating is a horrible thing, it's very bad for one's reputation, but it's not the end of the world. I don't think we truly experience real love until we are older, in the late 20s. Are we out there, going to fancy restaurants with the little red roses in the glasses, are we lying on blankets staring up at the stars, are we walking on the beach at night with our toes in the sand, are we snuggled up on the couch watching a movie without even having to be sexual? Are we expressing our emotions to our counter part, to the point where they know everything about you, where they can make you laugh or smile with just a goofy look or sound, where they make you feel protected and that you are blissfully happy? Sometimes I guess people in highschool relationships do feel this way, but it's one thing I'll never understand.9

I personally like being single and alone. To me boys are more of friends than love interests for now, atleast those I see every day. It's the kind of thing where you know so much about these kids you've grown up with that it would be awkward, you know? But I am boy crazy, I love boys. I love everything about them, their hair, their eyes, their smiles and gestures, I love the difference in personalities, some are quiet and studious, others are loud and funny. To be honest I like two boys, but like I said, who knows what's up with love nowadays. 10

Love is a funny feeling. It's like what makes you walk the long way just to glimpse your crush for a few more seconds, what makes you smile when you see him/her walking down the hallway, even if they'll never awknowledge you. It makes me shake kinda, I get really nervous and I can't stop smiling, and I turn bright red. I get really tense and my voice becomes really soft and shaky. It's like i'm a whole different person.11

Most people know me as the hyper and loud, sometimes perverted person I come off to be. A lot of people don't really know me...I don't know why but I can't help but be weird and loud when I'm around my friends. I kind of am under the impression that they enjoy me that way, so why should I bother showing who I truly am? I'm very intellectual, atleast I am thinking all the time about interesting topics, I try to be open-minded as well as I can but I can be very opinion-nated at times. I just wish my circumstances could be different, and people could get to know me for me.12

So I think I'm going to end my rant, seeing as no one will really have the patience to read it then respond. I hope you do though, because I really poured a lot of my emotions and thoughts into this blog..so I hope you atleast give it a chance. Give me a chance.13

Love ya'll.14

Brooke15