Shuffling

It bothers me and I’d like to say it doesn’t happen to me, but it does. In High School I developed a loner’s eye. From the outside I was able to watch others and gain a brief and stereotypical understanding of how pathetic their social lives really were. A girl will be best friends with another one moment, then gossip viciously behind her back another. That’s not to say that rumors don’t get around. 1

Friendships in High School, and especially relationships, shifted like tectonic plates, but not in the ways that one would expect. Instead of seeking a new friend after being stabbed in the back, one simply arranges the names in their group of friends so that the back stabber is at the very bottom. And as soon as everyone else has had their turn with the knife, the first murderer will once again be the best friend. 2

Someone said to me that college is just like a big High School, but I disagreed. So many aspects have changed the social atmosphere. Sure, the jocks and cheerleaders still exist, but they’re much less powerful. Sure, some kids stereotype and try to form cliques, but the spread of housing and sporadic nature of meeting people really casts a shadow over any cliquishness. And sure, there’s drinking and smoking and casual sex, but in college they’re not considered taboo. 3

In college it’s easier to distinguish what people are like. If someone’s a drinker, you’ll know. If someone’s a whore, you’ll know. Word still gets around, but the echo is not as claustrophobic as it was in High School. 4

So I criticize those who shuffle their friends like playing cards. They come to me one day complaining about the friend on the bottom, but I'm scolded when I bring it up tomorrow because apparently that friend had already risen to the top. What could have caused such a monumental shift? Maybe a good conversation or laugh. Or less likely, an apology. Apologies are rare mutterings nowadays. 5

Needless to say, the deck gets shuffled frequently and the ratio of complaints to compliments generally evens itself out. I admit that I am not immune to this shuffling. I’m just quiet. Instead of loudly slamming a card down on the table, I slip it under my breath. No one notices. No one knows.