Tutoring (Trying to find a better title...gah!)

I never wanted to work with Ryan Heath. Ryan was one of those guys always causing trouble. Constantly in detention, failing grades, and I was pretty sure he had been arrested a few times. Of course, the arrests were rumors for the most part, but it wouldn't have surprised me if they were true. Up until the fall of my senior year, I had been able to keep contact with him to a minimum. That all changed one morning on my way to Government.1

"Mary, can I see you in my office right now?" asked Ms. Ranier, our guidance counselor, while I was on my way to first hour. "Don't worry, this won't take long."2

"Okay," I answered and followed her into the office.3

Ms. Ranier took a seat and motioned for me to do the same. "Would you like to be a tutor for the rest of the semester, and possibly the year?" she asked.4

"Uh, sure," I replied. "Who do you want me to tutor, and what classes?"5

"Every class," she answered, hesitating. "I need you to tutor Ryan Heath."6

"Ryan Heath! *The* Ryan Heath? The troublemaker? Ms. Ranier, I...I couldn't possibly...I have no idea of how to relate to him..." I finished lamely.7

"Please, Mary. I've asked all of the other tutors and no one wants to take him on. You're my last hope, Mary. You're Ryan's last hope of graduating." she pleaded.8

I inhaled sharply and sighed. "Okay, Ms. Ranier. I'll do it."9

A huge smile of relief passed over the kind old spinster's face. "Thank you so much, Mary. I've arranged for you two to meet Monday and Thursday afternoons at 4, and at 8 am on Saturdays. You can go to class now. I'll call Mr. Trimble and tell him why you're a little late."10

I smiled, picked up my bag and headed out of her office. When I got to the hall, I leaned against a locker for a second. What had I just gotten myself into?11

That afternoon, I waited in one of the study rooms in the library for Ryan to show up. It was 4:10. I decided to wait five more minutes before leaving. This was ridiculous, I had a life too. Just as I was thinking this, the door opened and Ryan walked in. Ryan was six feet two inches tall with shaggy black hair and bright green eyes. He was a basketball player, but he hardly ever played because of his grades. Today he was wearing a black Ramones t-shirt and blue jeans with holes in them. "Hey," he said as he tossed his bookbag onto the table.12

"Hi, Ryan. I'm Mary Fitzimmons. I'm your tutor," I said with a smile.13

"I know who you are. It's not like we haven't been going to the same schools for the past twelve years." 14

My smile faded. "Uh, right. Well, what would you like to start with?" Blank stare from Ryan. "How about English? Have you been keeping up with the reading of Macbeth?"15

"No."16

I breathed deeply. "Oookay. Well, lets begin with reading the first act. It's better if you read it out loud. It's not so boring that way." Another blank stare. "I'll start first..." As I read from "Macbeth", Ryan proceeded to take out his iPod and put the earphones in. "Ryan? Ryan! Ugh!" I took the iPod and unplugged it from the earphones. 17

"What the hell!" Ryan grabbed at his iPod, but I held it out of the way. "Give it back!"18

"No, Ryan. You need to concentrate on what we are doing. If you don't start getting better grades, you aren't going to graduate."19

"So, I'll just go pro in basketball. You don't need college to do that," he said, finally grabbing his iPod back.20

"You aren't going to go pro if you don't play," I countered. "And you aren't going to play if you don't get the grades."21

Ryan scowled for a moment, then relucnantly started reading from Macbeth. That was pretty much the only thing we got accomplished that first day. I made a slow go of it walking home. Why did it have to be me, I prayed silently. God give me the strength to get through this. Finally I arrived at my house on Birch street. I lived in a quiet little neighborhood. My house was a white two story house with blue shutters and a brick path to the front porch. Mom's tulip boxes graced either side of the porch, and the willow tree near the side of the house swayed in the breeze of the afternoon.22

"Where have you been today, Mary?" my mom asked when I got into the house.23

"I'm tutoring someone," I said with hesitation in my voice. I dropped my bag next to the coat rack in the mud room and joined my mom on the brown suede sofa in the livingroom. 24

"Oh really? That's good," Mom smiled. "Who are you tutoring?"25

I breathed in slowly, "Ryan Heath."26

Mom's smile faded.27

"Oh...well...that's," she floundered for words.28

"I'm not too thrilled about it either mom, but none of the other tutors will take him. Ms. Ranier basically begged me to do it."29

"That boy is nothing but trouble," Mom said finally. "Be careful around him."30

"I know, Mom. I know. I'll be fine," I said and added "I hope" under my breath.31

........32

Three weeks had passed. Nothing would get through to Ryan. He just wouldn't try. Ryan was really a very smart person in most respects. When forced, he would answer the questions and answer them perfectly. But when he was actually in class doing the work and taking the tests, he just didn't want to try. He made enough effort to stay on the basketball team and play, but even though he was passing with D's, Ms. Ranier told me to keep tutoring him so that he could make it into college. Reluctantly I agreed to keep tutoring him.33

One Saturday morning, I had waited for Ryan to come for thirty minutes. Selfish as it seemed, I was not going to let him just not come because if he didn't come, I would not get paid. I walked down the hallway to the main office. 34

"What can I do for you, Mary?" Pam, one of the secretaries, asked.35

"Could you give me the address for Ryan Heath's house?"36

"Why sure, hon, let me look it up," Pam typed something into the computer. "Here it is. He lives at 202 South Broadway street."37

"Thanks," I said and headed out the doors and to my car. South Broadway street? South Broadway wasn't exactly the best neighborhood to be found in this town, but I decided to go anway. In about 15 minutes I pulled to a stop in front of a run-down one story house. The chipping paint job had once been a nice white, but was now streaked and dirty. The lawn was overgrown with weeds, and the rusted porch railing was falling down. Could this really be where Ryan lived? I got out of the car and began walking up to the door. I could hear yelling going on inside of the house, and almost as soon as I got to the porch, Ryan came barreling outside of the house and knocked me over. He had gotten halfway across the yard before he realized he had hit someone. He turned back.38

"Mary?"39

"Yeah," I said getting to my feet.40

"Sorry," he said. "What are you doing here?"41

"I came to find you. You're almost an hour late, and I have a job to do," I said with more agitation than I meant to convey, but come on! He knocked me over!42

"Sorry Mary...I had some problems to take care of."43

I looked at Ryan. He had the beginnings of a black eye, and there was just a hint of a quaver in his voice. What was going on? "Ryan, are you okay?"44

"Yeah, I'm fine." Ryan said, putting on his tough act again.45

"Just get in my car," I said. Ryan stopped for a moment, then followed me to my 2006 blue Ford Focus. 46

"This isn't the school," Ryan spoke as we pulled into Canyon beach's parking lot. 47

"No, it's not. Come on, we're going to have a talk." I ordered while stepping out of the car. Ryan followed suit and we made our way down to the beach. The early winter offshore breeze was chilly even at 9 am. I turned to Ryan. "What's going on?"48

"Nothing."49

"That's a lie, Ryan. I heard the yelling. You're getting a massive black eye."50

"Oh, I got that fighting with some guy after the game last night."51

"Another lie, Ryan. It looks way too fresh for that," I stopped walking. "What happened?"52

Ryan just looked at his feet.53

"Ryan, you can tell me. I'm not going to tell anyone about this."54

He hesitated for a moment, then began to speak. "My dad just gets a little angry when he's drunk. He hasn't been able to cope well since Mom died."55

My heart sank. "When did your mom die?"56

"Eight years ago," he said. "I mean, Dad has always had a problem with drinking, but when Mom died it got worse..."57

"Ryan, have you told anyone about this?"58

"Only you," he swallowed and his voice got tougher. "You better not tell anyone either!"59

"I won't Ryan, I won't."60

From that point on, things between Ryan and I began to change. He actually began trying in our tutoring sessions, and his grades began going up. We actually spent some of the tutoring time chatting about things we liked. Much as I tried to stop it and deny it, I started having feelings for Ryan. He really was rather handsome, and we had a lot to talk about. Sometimes we didn't even have our tutoring sessions at the school. Sometimes we'd go to a park, or go to the beach. The more I was with him, the more I liked him. But as much as I wanted to date him, he was who he was. My parents would have a fit if they knew how I felt. Who knew what my friends would think. When Ms. Ranier informed me that I could stop tutoring Ryan, I decided that I should stop talking to him altogether.61

One Saturday morning I went out for a run on the beach. The sunrise cast pink, purple, and gold streaks across the sky. The water reflected these colors. I stopped to take it all in. A cool offshore breeze played with my ponytail, blowing it around playfully. I breathed deep with my nose smelling the saltiness. Mornings like this made it good to be alive. Moments like this make me certain that God exists. A hand on my shoulder startled me. I turned around. It was Ryan.62

"Ryan...what are you doing here?"63

"I had to see you," he said. "I miss you."64

"You miss me?"65

"Yeah. I miss hanging out with you," he said plainly.66

"Hanging out? I was your tutor. We only met because we had to, Ryan."67

"Well, that's true, but Mary...Mary you got to know me, the real me. You know what no one else does, and I want to be with you."68

"What?"69

"I want to be with you, Mary."70

There is a time in your life when everything becomes quiet. All your inhibitions are gone; you don't care what anyone else says. All that is left is your heart. And your heart begs you to take the plunge.71

"I want to be with you too Ryan," I said without even thinking. 72

Ryan cupped my chin with his right hand, "I was hoping you would say that." He brought my face to his and in that moment everything felt complete. Shockwaves passed through my body, and my breath was taken away. My knees even gave out, but Ryan caught me. "Are you okay?" He smiled as he asked it.73

"I've never been better." I meant every word. 74

Ryan smiled, kissed me again and took my hand in his. Together we walked down the beach and into the sunrise.