Legend of the Wolf

There is a small village called Samusaika, located to the northwest of the city of Kyoto in the rural mountain areas of Japan, a community of no more than three thousand people or so, living calmly in the tranquil cradle of the hills. Samusaika has no railway stations or effective taxi services. The only way to get into the closest city of Kyoto is by taking one of the village buses, travelling out to the Funaoka Train Station which would take approximately twenty minutes, then take a train into the city of Kyoto which would take around forty minutes more or less. No matter how you look at it, the easiest way to reach the city without a car would take around an hour. Yet, people who reside here in Samusaika believe that their lives are close to perfect. They have grocery stores. They have their restaurants and small bars. They even have a small cinema, which for such a small place in the mountains, is considered by the people of Samusaika to be a very gracious entertainment bonus. This is of course due to the fact that there really isn’t that much to do in Samusaika.1

One thing that does make Samusaika stand out is the spiritual air about the village. Being born so close to one of the most traditional cities in Japan, the roots of beliefs and culture has gripped Samusaika, ever since it was built up from a temple. Yes, Samusaika was once nothing more than a Shinto shrine in the middle of this wilderness within one of the many valleys. When people began to take notice of this small divine destination, settlement became a reality as people from across Kyoto and Osaka came to join the community. Now, Samusaika is doing rather well as its inhabitants believe. The new generation is taking hold in the community, but the old ways and beliefs were never lost. Stories and scriptures are made legendary. Myths are born and passed down from mother to daughter, father to son. If you are looking for a magical village with many shrines and beautiful blossoms, surrounded by restful nature, then Samusaika truly is the place to be.2

Yet, with all little mystic villages, there are always those few small tales that makes peoples’ minds wonder, those little stories that gets passed down from generation to generation without any factual backup, but which no one really comes along to disapprove either. Samusaika has its own little tale of course, just to keep the spiritual breeze blowing. The inhabitants of the village like to call it the myth of the Aisu Oukami. The more religious ones of the village, the ones that cares for the shrines and small temples of Samusaika believe that the tale deserves more honour and so have called it the Legend of the Okanken Oukami, the Iceblade Wolf.3

And so the legend goes, that once upon a time in a winter many, many years ago, when Samusaika was still just a temple with a few shrines, a kind boy and a beautiful girl came together upon the steps of the Samusaika temple. Their love for one and another was undisputed, yet frowned upon for the boy was from a farmer family and the girl was the daughter to a Samurai warrior. Such relationships would not have been allowed and so, the love-struck couple agreed to meet in secret once every week. This continued for two years until one winter, when the snow was thick and the chill sank right into your soul, the boy received the news that he was to be conscripted into an army, an army that would be fighting his loved one’s father. Unable to suffer the loss of the girl he loved so dearly, he took her to the temple of Samusaika, to show her how much he adored her, to be able to share one last intimate night with the one he loved. Yet the spirits were cruel and upon the couple’s kiss, a group of soldiers came under the orders of the girl’s father. They wounded the boy and dragged him away screaming into the forest, away from the desperate cries of the girl. And so, she was left alone, crying her tears of sorrow, filled with the coldness of a broken heart. However the souls of the forest heard her pleas. They came to her, surrounded her and imbued her with a strength no one would have imagined. She was transformed, body and mind, into a gracious wolf of the ice, fur as blue as the kimono she had worn and eyes as white as the snow on which she pawed. The soldiers were unprepared when she came for them in the forest. She showed no mercy in her onslaught, all the while demanding that they return her one and only true love. The last remaining soldier felt pity and told her that they had executed him under her father’s orders and had buried the body. The wolf could not stand the pain that she felt then in her chest and had broken down, shedding ice cold tears that froze upon the snow at her feet. The soldier took the opportunity and shackled her to the ground with large manacles. He told her that his spirit will remain forever and that if she waits patiently, perhaps one day they would be united again in harmony. The wolf let out a howl of anguish that stunned the soldier’s mind and heart. He apologised for his actions and went, leaving the wolf in despair, under the gaze of the blood moon.4

And so, in the village of Samusaika, it is believed that every winter, when the temperature drops below freezing and the trees are frosted with snow, and when the moon turns red in the star speckled night sky, the sad howls of a large wolf would be heard echoing through the forests around Samusaika only by those who are truly in love. It would strike an arrow of ice and sorrow into that person’s heart and would lure them into the forest where they will become lost and would eventually die from the cold. Some people believe it and say that the female wolf is still chained up out there in the forest somewhere, still waiting for her beloved. For the one truly in love, who takes heed of the wolf’s cries of help and goes to free her from her imprisonment, they would be granted the power of the forest spirits as a token of gratitude. Only then would the girl’s spirit be allowed to freely search for her beloved again. But of course, it’s only a story. Never once in any of Samusaika’s winters, were the howls of a wolf ever heard by anyone’s ears.5

/\/\/\/\6

It was early December in Samusaika and the air was cold and dry. The ground was covered by three inches of snow and your breath would come out in a puff of thick mist, obscuring your vision. Kouta Hitoro walked down the little street on which he lived, through the light drift of snowflakes that never stops falling, wearing his thick brown coat and hugging himself tightly with his gloved hands, feeling his teeth chatter all the same. He disliked winters here in Samusaika. It gets so cold out here in the mountains and you would expect the valley and the trees to insulate at least some heat. It was just too bad that he had to move here, his parents always wanted to live somewhere peaceful and beautiful. Well, they certainly got the whole property care package didn’t they? Small village, no entertainment unless you count the crappy cinema and a few bars, cold as hell, plenty of snow in winter and insane amounts of sakura petals in the summer. It was beautiful, but it does become quite agitating when you had to travel around two hours a day just to get to and back from your school. Even his school friends were so far away. The only people that went to his school in Kyoto, who lived in Samusaika were two girls, Chisa Matoko and Kaeda Hayamusa.7

Kouta stopped by a sign post that signified the bus stop and let out a sigh, watching as his breath rose in a patch of condensation, consuming the snow that fell before him. The houses were all covered in white, the pylons and street lamps all topped with a mound of white. It was certainly beautiful here; there was no question about it. How the snow would turn everything into a haven of gentile and softness. It was very pretty, and in the spring and summer, the mix of colours that showed up in Samusaika would be hard to find anywhere else. Kouta rubbed his gloved hands together and brushed some snow off his gelled black hair. He checked his watch, five to seven. It was hard to tell morning from noon from afternoon here in Samusaika when in the middle of winter. The sky is always white with hints of grey. You never really sense any change in time or amount of light. Plus, there’s no such thing as rush hour here in the village, only a few busses and cars that move about along the main roads throughout the day. Kouta looked up and blinked against the few snowflakes that fell against his eyes. Kaeda and Chisa are late though.8

When Kouta checked his watch again for the tenth time, the arms showed ten past seven. And as if by magic, the rumble of engines became apparent from down the street in the direction he had came from. The bus to Funaoka Station was never late nor was it early. Good thing too since if you had to go into Kyoto for school and missed this run, you’d have to wait another hour for it. Inconvenient as it were sometimes, it at least built up your skill at time keeping, which Kaeda and Chisa never really got the hang off. When the bus came in sight, rolling through the snow slow and steadily, a voice came from the opposite direction. 9

“Ahh! We’re late! Kato kun, wait for us!”10

Kouta looked the other way and saw two girls in uniform and each wearing thick coats, running in his direction, one dragging the other along, slipping and sliding through the snow. Chisa would be the one in the lead, her ponytailed brown hair flapping behind her. She was popular at the school they went to and always had too much energy for her own good. She was the girl that most guys tend to look up to, partially for her competitive spirit, mostly for her looks. Believe it or not, Kouta had been asked to take a picture of Chisa’s breasts once which he flatly refused. The poor girl being dragged along was Kaeda, beautiful and sweet with her pink hair tied slightly at the back with a cute red ribbon and wearing a furry red coat over her uniform. She was trying hard not to fall, clutching her bag with one arm as if her life depended on it. At school, Kaeda was the quiet girl whom many guys would probably have crushes on, but never really pluck up the courage to ask her out. Kaeda herself never really seemed to show that much interest in relationships anyway. Kouta watched them as they jogged lightly towards him. Kaeda. He was always fascinated by that girl, and as he watched them both near him, Kouta felt a warmth grip his body. Maybe he’ll get a chance to talk to Kaeda in private, today sometime.11

Kouta shook his head and smiled. If there was one thing he was thankful for, it was the trio that he, Kaeda and Chisa formed. Chisa had been the first to truly introduce herself, knocking on Kouta’s door one weekend and dragging him out to watch a film on one summer’s day at the village cinema. Kaeda had popped up at the local library the next weekend when Kouta and Chisa had gone to try and find books on applied mathematics. Ever since then, they had become an inseparable trio in the village and when they found out they went to the same school, and were put into the same class, it only made things more appealing.12

The two girls slid to a stop beside Kouta, Chisa giving him the biggest grin and Kaeda blushing slightly and gave a little wave. “Kato kun! You should have called!” How was Chisa so bright so early all the time? Does she not sleep? These were common questions, among others, that go through Kouta’s head. He gave Kaeda a smile, feeling slightly giddy as he watched her move her hair, her bright green eyes sparkling. “Kato kun, how do you get up in the mornings?”13

Chisa had a tendency to call Kouta kato, a play on his name by which she meant tadpole. It did get on Kouta’s nerves from time to time. “Stop calling me that. I’m not a kid and do I look like frog spawn to you? It suits you more since you have a tail” He raised an eyebrow at the girl.14

“Eh? My ponytail looks wondrous! It’s not a tail!” Kouta watched as Chisa turned from big wide grin to a big fake pout.15

“Well, joined to your head, I have to say you do look like something that would come out of a frog.”16

Kaeda laughed and went even redder; Kouta allowed himself a sheepish smile. The bus rumbled to a stop in front of them and Kouta ducked to avoid Chisa’s swinging bag as he hopped onto the bus laughing, pulling Kaeda up with him.17

The bus they took was number six, running between the village and Funaoka Station only, very convenient for Kouta, Kaeda and Chisa, as long as you don’t miss it. The bus driver never changed and was always welcoming the trio on with a uplifting greeting, sometimes asking how things were at school. Surprisingly, it was someone new this morning.18

Kouta noticed first but Kaeda followed with a question. “Oh, good morning. Are you new?”19

The driver smiled and stated that the normal driver was ill, he was only filling in. Kouta and Kaeda went to their usual seats at the back of the bus, quickly followed by Chisa, past all the senior passengers who were all from the village. They said their hellos and good mornings as they passed. Nearly everyone knew everyone else here in Samusaika. Kouta guessed this was a positive effect. It sometimes comes in very handy if you practically new everyone you saw every day. The bus began to move and rolled on, turning right at a cross junction and moving out of the village.20

They sat, Kouta in between, and went through the usual routine of answering Chisa’s questions about homework and events at school. Then Kouta would have his go and fill in some missed out information regarding all kinds of things including the tennis club which he and the two girls were all part of. Then Kaeda would come in and go through Chisa’s crazy questions, just to settle her heart. The snow capped trees all over the mountain sides passed by them, painting a wondrous winterscape in the bus windows.21

“But I didn’t know that! How many questions were there?” Chisa wailed as the news of a forgotten homework was broken to her.22

Kaeda opened her bag and retrieved a folder to check. “Erm, fifteen I think, yep. They’re not that hard.” 23

Chisa slumped against the seat and leaned into Kouta. “Aww, you can say that, but you got brains. I guess I could quickly copy yours before the teacher comes in, right?”24

“Chisa, you need to do your own work. It’s one of those writing pieces, so if you copy mine, he’ll notice.”25

Kouta smiled at Kaeda as she packed her stuff away, drawing out another blush from the girl. This was one of the reasons why Kouta liked Kaeda so much, her independence and elegance. She helped others whenever necessary and encouraged the ones that required it. She may be quiet sometimes and slightly shy, but Kouta admired her for everything she was. Kaeda noticed Kouta watching her and started fidgeting with her coat buttons. Kouta thought she looked amazingly cute.26

“Koouuta, how about you? Your work is normally sketchy.” Chisa had turned to Kouta now after being put down by here main alternative to work, putting on her puppy eyes again.27

Kaeda giggled and Kouta pushed Chisa off with a frown. “My work isn’t sketchy, and I’ll give you some rough ideas. You can do it from there.”28

Chisa wrapped her arms around Kouta’s neck and hugged him until his spine cracked. “Thank you Kato kun! You da best!”29

The bus continued on its journey, now passing through a thin road that ran on the side of a wide valley. The other passengers were all chatting to each other about all sorts of things, but the trio at the back were blatantly the loudest. Kouta and Kaeda laughed as Chisa did a stupid imitation of the class president and Chisa and Kouta congratulated Kaeda when she told them about her success in her grade eight exam for piano.30

“Distinction? That’s like the best right?” Chisa was practically leaning over Kouta as she scrutinised Kaeda about the achievement.31

“Yep. Best you can get.” Kaeda smiled and her eyes flickered to Kouta’s. Ever since they met, Kouta had liked Kaeda. There was always something so lovable and mystical about the girl, and when she was in one of her very happy moods, the way she smiles really lifted Kouta’s heart. It was so gentle and pretty. Then again, even when Kaeda was angry or upset, Kouta still found her attractive. He couldn’t help himself as he allowed his eyes to travel quickly over Kaeda’s coat, skirt and legs.32

“Ahha?!” Kouta gave an ‘oof’ as Chisa poked him hard in the stomach. “What are you doing, staring at innocent Kaeda like that?”33

Kouta felt himself blush and looked quickly back up. Kaeda was smiling nervously with red cheeks. Maybe it was the cold, he told himself. Looking down at his lap, he was met with Chisa’s ignorant face. “What?”34

“You were staring at her with lustful intent! What are you two up to, huh?”35

“Oh shut up.”36

To Kouta’s relief, Kaeda simply giggled and sat up against the seat. Maybe it was in his imagination, but Kouta thought that Kaeda had opened up the front of her coat a bit more and ruffled her skirt further up her legs.37

“I knew it! You two always had something going on didn’t ya? Haha! Kouta and Kaeda, funny couple if I say so my…”38

But whatever she was going to say after that was suddenly cut off as the bus gave a jolt and lurched sideways. Kouta tilted into Chisa, tipping her off the seat with a gasp. Kaeda looked horrified as she yelled, crashing into and over Kouta. Screams filled the bus as the other passengers toppled and was thrown from their seats. Kouta had no idea what had happened, but out of the corner of his eye, he saw the white sky appear fully in the bus window, and then replaced my trees. His mind went blank for a second as he felt light. Were they falling? Next, he fell too from his seat and flew up? He hit the ceiling hard and heard something click, felt pain shooting through him, then falling sideways and hitting a pole sideways. His head connected with something metallic and the last thing he heard was the screams of Kaeda and Chisa around him. Then all he could see was black and then nothing.39

/\/\/\/\40

There were trees in the thick snow and Kaeda was there. She was walking through the light blizzard towards him. He walked forewords to meet her, it was difficult since his feet kept sinking deeply into the powder. It was snowing heavily and he could hardly see Kaeda, what made her apparent was the red coat she always wore. He tramped through the snow and embraced the girl. Bending low and kissing her deeply. She moaned and wrapped her arms around his neck. He moved his hands down and under her coat, cupping her breast and massaging gently over her shirt. She moaned into the kiss and pressed herself up against him. The cold air did nothing to appease his longing for her. He sped up his massaging, ignoring the cold air, which surprisingly grew colder and colder. She moved her hands down and pushed up under his clothing, running her cold palms along his spine. He shivered, but lust filled his mind as he reached down with his other hand and brushed his palm up along her thigh and under her skirt. She trembled against him. Kouta knew that they were made for each other, destined to be with each other. The snow was falling heavily now and even the green of trees were beginning to grow scarce. Kouta kept his eyes closed and enjoyed the feel of Kaeda’s smooth skin as he moved his hands around to her inner thigh. He could hear her heartbeat. He could also hear something else, a whistling of wind that was growing into a drone. Kaeda’s heart beat even faster, and the strange whistling sound grew in intensity. It howled in Kouta’s ears and somehow saddened him. It was sorrowful, something was wrong, but there couldn’t be. Kaeda was with him, they were together. But she wasn’t. Kouta opened his eyes and he was alone. Kaeda wasn’t there and his hands hugged thin air. In the distance, the howling wind was growing. Kaeda? Where is Kaeda? Kouta took a step back and froze, his feet being consumed by the snow. He could see eyes. Cold white eyes through the curtain of falling snow. They stared at him. They stared into him and they froze his soul. The howling filled his ears and mind and he collapsed to the snow, screaming Kaeda’s name.41

Kouta woke with a start, sitting upright in his chair and lifting away from the bed. Cold sweat was on his forehead and a faint howl was in his ears. There was also Kaeda’s heartbeat, no not heart beat, heart monitor. 42

He was in the hospital room again and it was the middle of the night. He must have fallen asleep and had a strange dream. Looking around, Kouta noticed the screen of the heartbeat monitor, continuously beeping as a red dot zigzagged across the screen, displaying Kaeda’s pulse. The window behind him was closed but the curtains were open. Snow was still falling against the pitch black of night. Kouta stood up and walked to the window. He could see the forest from here, the mountain of trees in the darkness. The Samusaika hospital was probably the tallest building in the village, albeit small. Kouta could see that some houses below still had a light or two on.43

He returned to his chair by the bed and took a few deep breaths, taking Kaeda’s limp, cold hand in both of his and looking up at her pretty face.44

Kaeda lay motionless under her covers, eyes closed and pale lips sealed. There was a small cut upon her bruised cheek and a larger one on her forehead, crossed over by thin white strips of tape. There were tabs stuck to her neck, connecting her up to the health monitors and on her other arm, an IV drip provided her with basic nutrients and chemicals to keep her alive. Kouta felt his heart clench and he dropped his head, eyes filling with tears. She looked dead under the twilight that flowed in through the rooms. He didn’t want to switch on the neon ones in the room. He believed that he was closer to Kaeda when they were alone in the dark together.45

It had been four weeks since the accident on the bus. They had gone around a corner and hit a rock on the road. The bus had lost its grip and crashed through the roadside barrier, tumbling down the hillside. According to news that Kouta later found out, six people had died in the incident. There were only eleven people in total on the bus that day, including Kouta, Kaeda and Chisa and the driver. This meant their trio and two others were the only survivors. Kouta couldn’t believe his luck at the time, and neither could Chisa. Kouta had a dislocated shoulder, a fractured rib and wrist, and several cuts and bruises. Chisa suffered a broken arm and deep cuts across her neck and waist. According to doctors, Kouta was lucky with what he got and Chisa was terribly lucky to be alive. They had both stayed in hospital and had been bandaged up. Kouta was fine now apart from the fact that when he put pressure on the wrist, it still hurt somewhat. Chisa was still in a cast, but was due to have it removed tomorrow. She also had stitches to her waist and neck, a lasting reminder of the accident.46

Yet the news came to them both when they were still lying on their beds, surrounded by family and friends from school and the village, that Kaeda was not in the same league. She had suffered a severe head trauma and was now in a coma. Chisa had cried for the first time in front of Kouta at the time, and Kouta himself had sat and listened. He had been lost for words. The doctors said that they were doing all they can, but Kaeda’s condition was deteriorating by the day. When Kouta and Chisa were allowed to walk again, the first thing they did was to go to Kaeda’s bed.47

And here she was now, lying in front of Kouta, motionless, lifeless, both of them alone in this dark room where the only sound was the constant beep from the machine. Kouta squeezed Kaeda’s hand. This wasn’t true. How could something like this happen? Ever since he first saw her, lying on this bed, he had felt a depression spread into him. Chisa had sobbed against him but he let himself cry inwardly. He couldn’t stand it. The sight of Kaeda on the bed like that was breaking him steadily from the inside out.48

He had come to her room every day since then, coming to keep her company, coming to sing to her, coming to talk to her, to confess how he felt for her. Part of him knew it was stupid, yet another kept telling him that Kaeda was listening. That she knew he was there. But this didn’t blind him from the truth. Kouta hated the sight of the girl on the bed. He could almost feel his own mind being driven slowly into madness.49

Muffled voices drifted through the closed ward door from the silent corridor. Kouta looked up and watched as the door opened and Chisa stepped in.50

“Hello Kouta.” Her face was pale and her left arm was wrapped up in a cast and sling. She had a scar across her neck, partially covered by her ponytail that was over her shoulder, and the whole outlook just didn’t suit the Chisa that Kouta came to know. This Chisa was slow, delicate and had no energy even to wave. “Are you hungry? I brought some beef onigiri.” 51

Kouta saw the white shopping bag that Chisa carried and motioned for her to sit on the chair next to him. Chisa pushed the door shut and came to her chair, not even bothering to switch on the light. She understood Kouta’s idea of the peace of darkness. Kouta was grateful that he still had Chisa. The girl took out one of the rice balls from the bag and handed it to Kouta. “I couldn’t sleep. So I went to the Family Mart.” She said as she shuffled in her seat and looked at her knees.52

Kouta put the onigiri on the bed and hugged Chisa. The girl was trembling, most probably out of cold. Kouta rubbed her arms and threw his coat over her shoulders. “You shouldn’t come out this late at night with that on. You’ll get a cold.”53

Chisa sniffed and leaned on him. “I don’t mind. It’s not that cold.”54

Kouta knew this was nonsense. The weather outside had grown very chilly the past few days, reaching to quite low temperatures in the night. It was just past eleven now so it must have been freezing outside. Chisa was wearing nothing more than a pair of tights, a skirt, a blouse and a soft blue jacket. She must have frozen herself stupid walking here from her house.55

“How are things at home?”56

Chisa rubbed her nose and moved some hair out of her face. “Fine. Dad worries about my arm all the time and mum keeps asking if Kaeda’s alright.” She gave a quick look at Kouta, giving Kouta just enough time to see her bloodshot eyes and the scar that ran across her neck. “How about you? Is your mum ok?”57

Kouta’s parents had taken the accident pretty hard. Kouta’s father had flown all the way back from an overseas meeting in order to be with him and his mother had suffered quite a bad shock to her weak heart. She was now on medication to help her cope. “Yeah, she’s doing fine.”58

They sat in silence for a while, Chisa leaning on Kouta with his arm around her shoulder. The beeping of the monitor filled the air again and the snow outside landed against the glass and vanished to a droplet of water, silently dripping down the glass. Kaeda lived with her widowed mother and Kouta didn’t want to bring it up, but Kouta had seen Hayamusa San’s composure when she had been here with Kaeda. Being her only child, Kaeda’s mother couldn’t afford to lose her, and seeing as she had already lost her husband, Kaeda’s father, she could hardly stay sane when she saw Kaeda all still and connected up to the life supports. Kouta thought in silence about the times he’d seen Hayamusa San here. The woman had been crying every time. Kouta felt terrible for her. It just wasn’t right. The silence in the room was starting to sting. Kouta closed his eyes and tried to push the image of Kaeda’s mother from his mind. Chisa was the first to say something.59

“Someone confessed to me today. At school.” Her voice was light and small. Kouta looked at her and saw her eyes focused on Kaeda’s hand.60

“Who was it?”61

Chisa gave a slight hiccup of a giggle and wiped at her eyes. “One of your friends. Yuji Abe?”62

Kouta gave a small smile. “He did? I always thought he looked at you differently.”63

“You should have said something to me then. He caught me by surprise today.”64

“How? I never saw you two go anywhere privately.”65

Chisa sat up and wrapped Kouta’s coat harder around herself, being careful not to bump her injured arm. “At lunch break. When you had walked out, he came up to me and pulled me to the back. Said he thought he had lost the one he felt so much for. Wanted to tell me how he felt for me before anything else could happen. It was stupid.”66

Kouta thought how Chisa-like it was to say that someone’s confession of love was stupid, but he knew better. Chisa was an emotional girl. He had seen it firsthand now. There was no way she could possibly think for real, that Yuji was stupid in telling her what he told her. “Well?”67

“Well what?”68

Kouta watched her and she looked at him back. Her lips twitched in a small smile and she turned away, staring back at Kaeda’s hand and sniffing. “We’re…we’re going to Nakamura’s in Kyoto on Saturday.”69

Kouta nodded slowly and watched Kaeda’s hand as well. So Chisa had found herself a boyfriend. That was quite special and very lucky on Yuji’s part. Kouta was good friends with Yuji, and knew him as a very nice person. Chisa was good in giving him a chance. The other guys in their class must be jealous of Yuji now, going out with one of the most popular and best looking girls in the school.70

“What about you and Kaeda?” 71

Kouta froze for a second. The question caught him quite by surprise. Chisa has tried to avoid saying Kaeda’s name whenever possible, but always asking a lot about her. Kouta haven’t heard Chisa say the name for a few days now. For her to say it so suddenly and with such a personal question, it hit Kouta right where he was most open. “I…I don’t know.”72

Chisa spun to look at him, her eyes filling with tears. Kouta was stunned into silence when he heard her elevated voice. “How could you say that, Kouta? You can’t say you don’t know!” A single tear dripped down Chisa’s chin and Kouta watched it as it rolled to a stop at her chin. “Kaeda needs you Kouta. Don’t you ever, ever say you don’t know. You understand that don’t you? You love her don’t you?” Chisa stopped, her eyes puffy and her lips trembling ever so slightly. Kouta looked away and stared at Kaeda’s limp form, Chisa’s voice still ringing in his ears.73

“I’m sorry.”74

“You love her…don’t you?”75

Kouta drew in a breath and slowly let it out. He felt horrible, horrible for Chisa, horrible for himself, horrible for Kaeda’s mother but most of all for Kaeda. He wanted to help, to bring poor Kaeda back. To have the girl he loved back. “I do.”76

Chisa didn’t reply. She simply turned to look at Kaeda’s pale face. Kouta remained still, letting the sudden outburst fade into silence again. It remained there however, in his mind. Chisa was right. He couldn’t lose his mind over this situation.77

“Kouta.” Chisa said, so quietly that Kouta nearly missed it. He looked up and saw that Chisa was brushing Kaeda’s flowery pink hair with her hand. It was such a delicate motion that brought a clenching feeling into his chest. Kaeda’s pink hair. It was so full of life a few weeks ago and now, it was just there, still. He didn’t want to see it.78

“Kouta.” Chisa said again, louder this time.79

“Yes?”80

Chisa didn’t look at him but she spoke so softly. Kouta was reminded of how gentle a mother would be towards her sick child. “You may not think it, but I visit the shrines and the temple every week.”81

Kouta swallowed and stayed still. He allowed himself to listen to whatever Chisa had to say. Her voice was the only thing that brought life into this dark and silent room. “I go there. I know it doesn’t seem like me, but I like going to them. They’re very peaceful.” Kouta felt himself nod. “Have you ever heard of the Okanken Oukami?”82

Kouta’s eyes lifted as he stared at Chisa. The girl was still slowly brushing Kaeda’s hair. Her voice was very soft now, as if she was daydreaming as she spoke. Kaeda thought the phrase over. “You mean the ice wolf?”83

“Yeah, people at the shrines call it the Iceblade Wolf. You know about the story right?”84

Kouta never thought of Chisa as one to take an interest in anything spiritual or paranormal, but he allowed himself some reconsideration. He had seen a whole new side of Chisa these past few days that he never thought was in the girl. “The girl get’s turned into a wolf to save her boyfriend, only to be killed by the soldiers.”85

“No, the girl transforms into the wolf through the spirits of the forest, blue and has perfect white eyes. She fights the soldiers and wins. The last one tells her that her beloved is now dead and she becomes so upset, she allows herself to be tied down in place with chains of hate and anger, by the soldier.” Chisa’s voice was almost taking on a mystical tone which drew Kouta into a trance. He felt as if there was a level of calmness in the room that he hadn’t felt before. He didn’t want to interrupt Chisa. Her voice was all he wanted to hear. “Some people believe that she’s still tied out there, waiting to be found, and waiting to go forth and find her long lost love. Her howls are carried from the forest through the wind that blows in the winter.”86

Kouta shifted in his seat. In his mind, he could picture the wolf, chained down and those white eyes. He twitched. Those white eyes, they seemed so familiar.87

“Kouta, the girl gave up her life, her eternity to wait for her loved one to return. And I believe she still waits, even now. I believe in you Kouta. Please don’t ever give up hope for Kaeda.” Chisa finally stopped in her brushing and turned back to Kouta. He saw her tears as they fell from her face, tears of fear, of hope, of sadness. “Kouta, promise me you will never give up for Kaeda.”88

/\/\/\/\89

It was Saturday evening and Kouta walked with slow steps through the snow towards the hospital. The dark sky was here and for once, it wasn’t snowing. If you look up, you could actually see the black blue sky, with faint traces of stars and the large bright moon. Kouta stopped to take a few breaths and looked up towards the moon. The small illuminations of the lonely streetlamps made the stars invisible, but the moon was still there. Kouta watched it as his breath rose before him. In his mind, all he could think of were Chisa’s words a few nights before. 90

The time was half nine and Chisa would probably still be with Yuji on their date. Kouta had the evening to himself, and he didn’t want to spend it alone. He checked into the local Family Mart and purchased a pack of sushi and a bottle of ice tea. This will be his dinner. His mother had understood when he had told her he was going to spend the evening with Kaeda and was going to skip dinner.91

His shoes crunched down upon the snow as he exited the convenience store. Even at night, the town was pretty. With no one along the roads, the streetlamps alit, the soft snow that covered all surfaces. Kouta began walking again, the feeling of snow below him calming his tension. His mind played Chisa’s words over and over again. Don’t give up on Kaeda. Don’t give up on Kaeda. Kouta didn’t want to. He wanted to help Kaeda, but there was nothing he could do. The doctor had told him that Kaeda had more or less twenty-five percent chance of coming out of her comatose. The thought depressed Kouta beyond what he thought possible. How could they say something like that to him? Did they think that Kaeda was as good as gone?92

When he reached the hospital, his hands were frozen inside his gloves and he tapped his foot of snow at the entrance. The receptionist greeted him warmly and passing nurses all greeted him with pity. It annoyed Kouta. Why did they have to act as if Kaeda was dead? She was still perfectly alive. Kouta was there for her. There’s no way she could die.93

When he entered Kaeda’s ward, the same sight greeted him. The pulled back curtain around the bed. The window opposite. The chairs. The machinery. The cards and flowers and gifts on the bedside tables. No light. And Kaeda.94

Seating himself in his usual place by Kaeda’s bed, Kouta took her hand and gave it a soft kiss. “Kaeda. How are you feeling?”95

The girl remained motionless and her hand remained cold and limp. Her eyes didn’t move and the only thing that really showed that she was alive was the gradual rise and fall of her chest. Her monitor showed that her pulse was fine. Slow, but fine. 96

Kouta took a deep, unsteady breath. “Your mum was here earlier like always. She’s doing fine. She dropped off your favourite panda today, did you see?” Kouta picked up the plush toy from the bedside table, from among the other things, and placed it in Kaeda’s hand. “You threw it at me once because Chisa and I wouldn’t give you back your shirt, you remember?”97

The silence in the room was slowly grinding against Kouta’s heart and as he watched Kaeda’s lifeless pink hair, he couldn’t help but take another few breaths to stem the ache in his chest. He wanted so badly to hear her voice again. “I…I’ve taken some pictures. Of the snow outside and from school. Our friends are in them. You’ll be glad to see them soon, I bet.” He clenched her hand and gritted his teeth as another wave of heartless aching hit him. He saw the wound across her head; he saw the pale and bruised cheeks. “They’re all waiting Kaeda. We all are. I am, Kaeda.” 98

Kaeda’s monitor continued the steady beep and the moonlight cast a glow of loneliness into the shadowed room. Her face never changed. The cut on her head was healing though.99

“Kaeda, I love…I love you. You know that right? I…” Kouta dipped his head and gave a sob. He let go of Kaeda’s hand and took out the ice tea he had bought. “I…I don’t want you to go. Please don’t leave.” Kouta’s hands trembled as he twisted hard and the bottle slipped from his hand. It hit the floor with a thud, the contents spilling and spraying out, splashing across the floor, pooling around the chair legs and staining the white floor with orange. In Kouta’s mind, his emotions were doing the same thing, spilling forth with no control, washing away everything else and flooding his heart with regret. Kouta stood up so quickly that his chair fell back with a crack. He leant over Kaeda and gripped her shoulders, shoving her in a bid to wake her. “Kaeda! Listen to me! D-don’t go! Please don’t go! Wake up! Can’t you just wake up? Please…wake up.” Kouta supported himself on the bed as he sobbed. His tears flowed freely as they dripped from the tip of his nose onto the collar of Kaeda’s green hospital gown. “W-wake up…”100

Kaeda didn’t wake up. She remained silent and the machine continued to beep. Her face didn’t even twitch.101

Kouta lost his strength and fell to his knees by the bed, sobbing into the mattress. His tears soaked into the linen and the spilled ice tea flowed into his jeans. The coldness made his heart ache even more. Why? Why do things like this happen? He didn’t even get to tell her that he loved her. He never even got the chance to spend a proper evening with Kaeda, or a romantic one. And now, now he will never have the chance again.102

The wind shrilled across the window outside and a distant howl flowed through the glass, easing into Kouta’s mind. He stopped abruptly in his break down and looked up. He stood and turned to the window. He could hear it. There was the constant beep of the heart monitor, but there was something else. Kouta stumbled to the window and looked out at the mountains. He could hear the soothing, sorrowful sound of the wind. But it wasn’t the wind. It can’t be.103

“Oukami?”104

The howl was slow and sad, it carried Kouta’s emotions and wrapped them around his aching heart.105

“Okanken…Oukami…”106

The howl of the night sank deep into his heart and Kouta relaxed, letting it into his soul. He pressed his hands against the cold glass of the window. The night was speaking to him. He knew it. Kouta closed his eyes and let they sting of the cold glass flow into his blood.107

“Would you really help the one that helps you?”108

Kouta didn’t know what he was thinking. He didn’t know what he was doing. All he knew that he was thinking of the wolf and a gift. He wasn’t really in control of himself when he turned and stormed out of the room. He wasn’t listening when the nurses turned and asked what’s wrong. He didn’t hesitate when the receptionist called his name as he dashed out of the hospital. He was going crazy. He knew it. But all he could think about was saving Kaeda. She meant everything to him now, and only now did he realise it. He’ll go to the end of the world and back for her.109

Kouta rushed down the road, being careful not to slip on ice or snow, past flickering lamp posts, past houses, past parked cars covered in white powder, past the edge of the village. He didn’t know what he was doing when he leapt over one of the fences that marked the beginning of a mountain; he only knew to follow the sad howl of the wind. He will go and find the lost wolf. He would go free it. It was all that he had left. The coldness that flooded his feet when he stepped into inches of snow didn’t stop him. The shadow of the forest didn’t deter him. He launched himself into it all, tramping up the hill and into the darkness of the trees.110

/\/\/\/\111

Kouta didn’t have a clue how far he had got nor where he was. He raised his stinging face and looked around as best he could. All he saw was the snow that he was lying face first in, and the trees in front. He grunted and rolled onto his back. There was a pain in his chest, pain everywhere actually. Kouta gritted his teeth. It was so cold as well. Terribly cold. Why was snow so cold? Kouta looked up and saw the star filled sky. He must be in a clearing inside the forest. He could see a ring of treetops that encircled the moon. And the moon was very large. Kouta blinked and watched his breath flow upwards towards the huge disc. How strange. The moon was red. Not red exactly, but a very reddish, orange. He could make out the scars on the moon’s surface and could see the minute craters.112

Kouta coughed and raised himself to sit. The snow was thick and he practically had it covering all his legs. So he had passed out in the snow? That would be the second time he had woken up when near death. Kouta hugged himself and felt the ache in his side grow. His rib. Maybe he had broken what he shad o carefully mended. If that was the case then things weren’t good. Where was he? On a mountain? Over the Mountain? He could be hours away from Samusaika for all he knew, and for some reason, the knowledge made him laugh, his big choking guffaws ringing out in the silence of the forest. 113

“Ahaha! Huh, oh idiot, I’m so goddamn stupid.” Kouta grunted and stood. “You’re going to die here, you know that? You’ll never see Kaeda again.”114

The wolf’s howl rang out again, piercing his soul and biting at his heart. Kouta grunted and clutched at his ribcage. Yep, looks like that rib is fractured again. He took another step and as his foot sank into the snow, pain bit into him and Kouta yelled. It was like hellfire surging in his side, ripping at his body. “OW! Goddamn you!” He gave another crazy laugh as he near fell over again. “I hate broken bones! I HATE broken...”115

Kouta froze. His heart had just done a flip and the air seemed to vanish from his lungs. He gasped and stumbled. The pain was unbearable yet he couldn’t scream. He gripped at his coat and clenched his teeth as he tried to breath. He fell to his knees, crushing down into the snow, staring up into the red moon.116

“Ah...I...h-help...”117

And all was quiet apart from a faint rumble of a growl. Kouta slowly lowered his gaze from the moon, past the stars, down across the treetops, and straight ahead. There was a blue wolf there in the faint moonlight. It was lying on the ground like a dog, legs tucked in and it’s head upright, staring right at him. Kouta’s mind was becoming more and more dizzy; he could hardly feel anything now but pain. “Ou-ouka…kami…”118

The wolf blinked in the distance. Its white eyes stared at him and Kouta felt something cold inside him. Felt as if though someone was reaching into his mind and sending a cascade of water through his veins. Kouta didn’t understand, but he knew. He forced himself to ignore his body and unsteadily raised himself back onto his feet. He took a step, gasping in pain. He took another step, and another. Soon, he was close enough to see the wolf in detail, despite his increasingly blurry vision.119

Its fur was blue, as blue as the ocean in the evening, as blue as the night sky after the sun has just set and the stars appear. There were white areas on it, along its legs and its clawed paws, at the end of its swift tail, and on its lower jaw and neck. The two colours of fur faded into each other like the wind. It had large white eyes, piercing white eyes that looked straight at Kouta. It blinked, but the eyes never moved, as white as the snow upon which it stood. Its breath came out in huffs, condensing in front of its long, slender mouth and drifting up like smoke, and the animal itself was large, very large. Nearly as big as car from what Kouta could see. He couldn’t really think sense now as he stumbled towards the creature, his eyes locked with the gaze of the wolf’s.120

“I’ve come…t-to free…you…” Kouta could hardly speak. He thought how weird it was to be speaking to an oversized wolf. Why is he doing it anyway? The wolf was obviously going to rip him apart. “I’ve…I want to help…”121

The wolf shook its proud head and pawed the ground, growling as Kouta closed the distance between himself and it. “Please…I want to help…”122

The wolf raised its slender head and howled at the red moon. Kouta stopped, just three metres away and looked up at it as it stretched itself upwards. The ghostly sound of its howl shook Kouta’s mind and bones. He felt someone seize him inside and lock him in place. What was happening? He didn’t understand. “Don’t be afraid…t-talk to me…to me…”123

“Why?”124

Kouta blinked and swayed slightly. The voice was in his head and it was Kaeda’s voice. It was soft but firm, but soothing all the same. Kouta felt tears in his eyes and gasped. Kaeda? Where are you? Kaeda! The magnificent wolf standing before him lowered its head and looked at him.125

“Why? Who are you?”126

Kouta looked at the creature, felt the blast of cold breath as the wolf huffed, the condensation wafting over him. “I’m…I’m Kouta Hitoro…I love you…”127

“You don’t love me.” 128

Kouta stood in place, the snow was melting into his shoes and it felt slightly warm. “I do. I love Kaeda.”129

“Who is Kaeda? I do not care for Kaeda. Where is Masao Kasai?”130

“I don’t know who Masao Kasai is.”131

The wolf leaned towards Kouta and did something that Kouta thought was sniffing him. He didn’t flinch, nor did he try to move. He simply looked down and saw the manacles and chains that secured the wolf’s legs to the ground. There were large nails from what it looked like, that were holding the chains down on the ground. Kouta rocked precariously on his feet as he stood there in the snow. What was he doing? Was he losing his mind? How can he help the wolf?132

“Masao Kasai is my guardian. He is my love. You took him away from me.”133

“I didn’t take him away from you. That was a long time ago. He’s dead I think.”134

The wolf growled and roared a sound that vibrated Kouta and the ground beneath him. Snow fell from the surrounding trees and Kouta nearly fell over again. He shook and wavered, his eyes focusing and unfocusing. What the hell was going on? He didn’t understand much anymore.135

“Why? Why did you do this to me?”136

Kouta felt tears roll down his face. He knew it was the wolf speaking to him, yet he couldn’t help but imagine Kaeda, and when he thought of Kaeda, he saw her, there on the hospital bed, watching him with cold, dead eyes, asking him, why? Why did he do this to her? He didn’t. Kaeda, why didn’t she understand? He’s giving everything for her, but she doesn’t understand. Kouta raised his left arm stupidly and noticed his forth digit had frostbite, but Kaeda was lying on the bed there. He wanted to touch her. “I-it wasn’t me! I…I never did anything…”137

“You took him away from me.”138

Kouta looked into the large white eyes of the wolf. It was crying. It was actually crying. Kouta watched as beads of sparkling dew trickled from the eyes of the magnificent beast. They fell and rolled down its fur and dripped from the ends like a drop from a leaf, freezing in midair and hitting the snow with a soft pop, leaving a hole.139

“I took no one from you. Y-you lost Masao a long, long time ago…I’m…I’ll help you find him.”140

“How? I do not understand.”141

“I’ll free you from this place…and…and let you…s-search freely for him.”142

Kouta watched as the wolf lowered its head, the fur across its body rippling like a field of blue grass. Kouta didn’t know what to do. His mind was already numb, as was his entire body. He felt he owed the wolf somehow and wanted to make its freedom the last thing he does. He tried raising a leg and found that it was painful. But who cares now. Kaeda was waiting. Kouta would die before he see’s Kaeda disappear. And so he tramped slowly to one of the pins that held down the wolf’s leg. It watched him as he went and made no further attempts to talk to him, nor attack him. Kouta was thankful. He fell to his knees and gripped the large metallic bolt with both hands and pulled. It didn’t budge. He ignored the pain in his broken rib and pulled harder, leaning back as to pull it from the ground with all his might. It still wouldn’t move.143

“You will not succeed. I cannot pull myself free. What makes you think you can?” Kaeda’s voice was cold this time, chilling Kouta to the bone. It was near spat out, showing no respect or any emotion.144

“Th-there must be a way…”Kouta pulled again, grunting as the pain in his side doubled, burning him and causing him to suddenly collapse on the snow, sobbing in pain. “No! T-there….must…is a way…”145

“Find the key.”146

Kouta coughed and moaned at the tearing feeling in his side. It was so bad, he just wanted to die. No! He couldn’t. Not until Kaeda was given back to him. Kouta blinked away freezing cold tears and looked at the wolf. It stood proud, its head lifted and it was looking up at the blood moon. “I…I don’t know where it is.”147

“You give freedom through love and compassion. You hold the key. I do not. I can no longer feel what you do. My life was taken from me, and all I can do is search for it. Yet, you can still feel.”148

Kouta didn’t understand, but Kaeda’s voice in his head had taken on another soft tone and it warmed his heart. He felt lifted again and as he crawled back onto his knees, he stared at the chains and manacles that bound the wolf’s paws. He gripped the heavy metal and followed it with his hands until he came to the manacles. The wolf didn’t give the slightest movement. Kouta took this as a good sign and placed his palms on the paw of the wolf. What happened then was so sudden, he couldn’t even explain it.149

He was in Samusaika again, and Kaeda was there. She sat upon the steps of the temple, wearing a beautiful blue kimono. Her pink hair billowed in the breeze and she beckoned to him. Kouta didn’t know what was happening, for there was nothing else around but the temple. No houses, no bars, no stores, but he walked forwards anyway. There were no pain or coldness in his body and he thankfully took his gentle steps towards Kaeda, sweet beautiful Kaeda. When he reached her, she stood to embrace him and her arms were warm. Her body was warm and Kouta relished all of it. Kaeda, you came back. 150

The girl looked up at him and her eyes were sad. Her eyes were full of tears and he brushed them away as they rolled down her cheek. “Don’t worry,” He told her, “We’re together, and we’ll always be together.” Kouta bent down and kissed Kaeda.151

From behind him, gloved hands gripped his jacket and armoured arms wrapped around his neck, pulling him off Kaeda. Kouta fought and yelled with all his strength. What was happening? “Kaeda! No! Kaeda!” He kicked and he fought as best he could, but his assailants were strong. They were wearing armour. Were they soldiers? They dragged him away and he screamed for Kaeda as he watched her shocked and horrified face cry in desperation. “Kaeda!”152

They took him into the trees; they beat him and kicked him. Kouta was once again drowned in pain and horror. He didn’t know why. Why were they doing this? Why were they taking Kaeda away from him again? He protected himself as best he could but failed to stop them from raining anger down upon him. It hurt, but he never felt that he could hurt as bad as the anguish he held in his heart. They finished with his beating and dragged him further into the forest. They made him kneel and one of them pulled a shining sword from his sheath. Kouta watched as he was held down by two of them. Was that man going to kill him? Why? What did he do wrong? Everything he had done was for Kaeda. Is that wrong?153

The soldier shouted and lunged the blade through Kouta’s chest and he felt it cut through him, sawing through his ribs and puncturing his lung. He gasped and tasted blood. He watched the blade as it was pulled from him. He saw the blood that poured from his front as he fell face first into the snow. He tasted blood and coughed, but there was no air left in him. Kouta turned and saw the soldiers walking away. No. Don’t leave. Please don’t leave. He needed Kaeda…154

Kouta stood on the road and he heard the rumbling of a bus. He turned and watched as the vehicle come into view and pass by him. It was as if time travelled in slow motion because he saw himself, Chisa and Kaeda in the back window. They were happy and they were talking together. They were laughing. Kouta watched and felt his jaw drop when the bus slide sideways slightly, hit a rock upon the road. Saw the tire burst in a blast of snow and followed with his eyes as the vehicle careered off course and through the barrier. It crashed down the hill side, rolling over once, twice and then crunched to a stop against trees.155

Kouta didn’t understand why he was being forced to see all this but he collapsed onto his knees by the road. His eyes filled and he cried at the sight of the smouldering wreck. Kaeda! He couldn’t take it anymore. Kouta dropped his head and screamed. Why? WHY! Was it so much to ask to have Kaeda back by his side? Why was he being treated like this! Does no one understand how he felt for her! He screamed in agony and anguish, smashing his fists down upon the snow covered tarmac. He couldn’t take it anymore. He just wanted to die. The sorrow in his heart was tearing his mind in two and he just couldn’t take it anymore…156

The snow soaked into his trousers as he cried, the darkness of the forest was all around him again as he leant against the wolf’s legs and sobbed, gripping the thick chains and twisting with the strength left inside him.157

“You love her. So much.”158

Kouta shook his head and nodded. "I do! I do, goddamn it I do! I want her back. I want her BACK!" The despair he felt was unbearable then as he wailed at the wolf. He wanted nothing more than to be by Kaeda’s side, wanted nothing more than to kiss her and tell her she would be fine. He had to see her. He had to, or his life wasn’t worth anything. Anything.159

“Thank you.”160

Kouta sobbed and shook his head; he clenched his fists and tried to ignore Kaeda’s voice in his head. Go away! Go away! You’re not Kaeda! YOU’RE NOT KAEDA!161

He opened his eyes suddenly and stared at his hands. His frostbitten finger was missing but the chain that held the wolf’s leg to the ground had broken through the middle. Kouta gasped, the cold air rushing into his lungs and freezing his insides so much the pain in his side seemed like a dull ache. What happened? He broke the chain?162

Kouta spun and crawled towards another, sobbing and snivelling. He lifted the second binding and closed his eyes. He could feel the cold of the metal against his hands, but he squeezed anyway. He clenched his teeth and tried to concentrate on making fists with the chain in his hand. Nothing broke. Why? Why not? Because Kaeda was not by his side.163

Kouta gritted his teeth and squeezed his hands again. Kaeda will be! She will be by his side! Whatever happens, Kouta will take Kaeda back! Opening his eyes, Kouta saw that the chains had again snapped. He did it. He moved to the next and then the next, always keeping Kaeda’s smiling face at the front of his mind. And after the final chain broke, Kouta fell again, this time lacking any energy to even attempt to get up. He rolled onto his back and stared up into the night sky, into the blood red moon. He did it. The wolf was free. The spirit is free. He did it.164

“You broke the chains.”165

Kouta closed his eyes and saw Kaeda. She was smiling and offering both her hands to him. She was at the temple steps again in her luscious blue kimono. She was beckoning him forward. He reached out for her. Kouta’s hand lifted and stretched towards the moon in the sky.166

“I will remember this. Thank you. This spirit, I have no more use for it.”167

Kouta opened his eyes again. “N-no. Don’t…give me anything.”168

“You have earned it with your heart.”169

Kouta smiled gently and watched the moon. “Give it to Kaeda. Kaeda Hayamusa of Samusaika village. She’s lying in the hospital right now…give it to her.” He sighed and saw Kaeda again. The moon was her and she was the moon. The redness was her pink hair and Kouta could see the smile he loved so much. Those green eyes made of gems. He loved her so much.170

“You are near death. Would you rather die?”171

Kouta felt his breath slow as his body turn numb and cold, yet he didn’t feel any shivers coming on at all. It felt like he was simply very tired. Death. Yes, he thought. He was willing to accept that. It was a very reasonable price to pay for Kaeda’s safety. Kouta didn’t know how he would know that Kaeda would be all right. He didn’t even know what reality is anymore. But Kaeda was always there in his mind and heart, and as long as she is, he would do anything he could to keep her safe. “Please help Kaeda…”172

“Very well.”173

Kouta closed his eyes and smiled. He felt very tired indeed, but relieved. The pain in him disappeared and he felt relaxed. He wanted nothing more than to allow himself to fall asleep. He thought of Chisa. What time is it? Very late no doubt, or very early. Is Chisa back from her date yet? She must be. Kouta really hoped she had had a great time. She deserved it. He also thought about Kaeda, sweet Kaeda. He was glad that the wolf agreed to help her instead of him. Kaeda needed it more and Kouta would be able to die happy knowing that he achieved something for his love. Kaeda, how could he ever forget that smile, that red ribbon, those delicate green eyes, that pink hair? Kaeda was the best, Kouta knew that now from the bottom of his heart, and as he thought about Kaeda, tears once again came to his eye. He’ll miss Kaeda.174

/\/\/\/\175

It was bright. Kouta couldn’t open his eyes, but it was bright. He was also feeling strangely heavy. He tried moving but didn’t even know if he succeeded or not. Where is he? Is this heaven or something? It can’t be. He felt as if he was lying on a bed.176

“His pulse is increasing! Get the doctor!”177

He heard a female voice shout, but it sounded slightly unclear and distant. What’s going on? Is someone dying? Why couldn’t he see?178

“Give him a shot.”179

A shot? A shot of what? Kouta felt very confused, but he couldn’t care that much. He felt comfortable. Something pricked against his arm.180

“Move the stand closer.”181

Kouta tried again to open his eyes, but they failed him. He knew he could move his eyeballs, but what good is that when you can’t see anything.182

“Kouta? Kouta!”183

The new voice was clearer than any other. It was a voice that brought a wave of warmth crashing back through him. A voice which gave him some newfound strength. He knew that voice. How he has longed to hear it again.184

“Kouta!”185

He opened his eyes and saw blurry shapes. He couldn’t stop blinking but with each blink, the blurs became more and more clear. There were people leaning over him, mostly on the right side, but one on the left. They looked down upon him and as the figure on the left noticed his eyes opening, they lifted their hands to their mouth with a sob.186

“Ka…Kaeda…”187

Pink hair showered down from above and the beautiful green eyes were filled with tears of joy. Kouta could only manage a smile, but he believed that Kaeda understood.188

“Kouta! Oh Kouta you idiot!”189

Kouta looked to the other side and saw Chisa sobbing as well as she leaned over him. Next to her was Yuji, looking beyond delighted and around them, the doctor and nurses.190

“Kaeda. Are you ok?”191

Kaeda gave a half sob, half laugh. She wiped at her pretty face and swooped down to hug Kouta. A feeling of absolution filled Kouta as he felt Kaeda’s hands upon him. He couldn’t express how he felt. It was simply too much for him. Kouta lifted his arms unsteadily and wrapped them around the girl he loved so much.192

/\/\/\/\193

Two weeks had passed since Kouta had woken in the hospital to find Kaeda and Chisa and Yuji by his side. His parents had arrived soon after, and both were hysterical. His mother had said that if anything more should happen to him, her heart would surely go into shock. Kouta didn’t like the sound of that.194

“I never knew it was so beautiful up here. It’s good that the sky is cloudless for once.”195

Kouta tightened his grip upon Kaeda’s hand as he led her through the forest. Chisa and Yuji were behind them, but they knew that Kouta wanted some privacy, and so had become fascinated by some unusually shaped trees. Kouta was grateful and sped up his pace as grinned back at Kaeda.196

“Where are we going?”197

Kouta didn’t reply but only smiled. He re-shouldered his bag and pulled on Kaeda. “You’re going to have to see!”198

Kaeda looked perplexed but amused. She happily trotted behind Kouta as he pulled her deeper into the forest. He wasn’t sure about his direction, but he had a vague idea. The clearing wasn’t that far away. Well, he didn’t think it was. Kaeda hadn't asked too many questions about the whole incident. Kouta thought she believed him though, very slightly. Still, it was the present that mattered and Kaeda had never looked better than she did now with her blue skirt and red jumper, her hair full of life again, clutching a drawing pad as she let Kouta lead her away.199

After he had awakened from his four day comatose, Kaeda and Chisa had explained everything to him. How very early in the morning, after Kouta had ran out, Kaeda’s pulse had quickened and she had woke from her coma, whispering Kouta’s name. There weren’t many staff members present at the time so one of the nurses had alerted a doctor. Kaeda was soon being checked over for any lasting damage. Apparently, she had made a full recovery somehow which confused the doctors. Chisa told Kouta how it was Kaeda that said Kouta may have gone into the forests, and after a three hour search, they had found him, out cold and suffering from hyperthermia in an open part of the forest. Frostbite had claimed one of his fingers and his body had gone into recession due to fatigue and shock. He had indeed broken the rib that had healed and was very close to having a punctured lung.200

Kaeda had told him how she had heard about his efforts at keeping her company every night by her bedside. How he would sit and talk to her. Kouta was near tears when Kaeda told him that she loved him too, and have done for such a long time, and that when she sat beside his bed after hearing her own story, seeing how she may have lost him after gaining her own life back drove her mad.201

“Kouta chan! Slow down, you mustn’t run like that. The doctor said you shouldn’t exert too much pressure on the chest area.” Kaeda pulled back against his hand which hurt him more than actually running.202

“Ow, ok, sorry.”203

Kaeda walked up beside him and gave him a kiss. “Don’t be so active. You’re still damaged.”204

Kouta nodded and smiled. “We’re here though.”205

Sure enough, they were. It was the open area of the forest where Kouta had freed the wolf.206

“Oh, is this where you were?”207

Kouta nodded and ran his hand through his hair. “Strange.”208

Kaeda was looking from side to side, scanning the whole area, clutching her drawing pad squarely to her chest. “What’s strange?” She looked into the blue sky then swept her gaze across the white forest floor.209

“The chains. I remember. It should be right there, by that log.”210

Kouta walked forwards and tried not to sink his foot deep into the snow. He stopped at where he was that night and motioned for Kaeda to join him. “This is it. I was here.”211

“You don’t…really believe that you freed a wolf here, do you Kouta chan?” 212

Kouta looked to his side and saw Kaeda giving him the most sarcastic look. He wasn’t sure himself of what truly happened that night, but he knew that Kaeda waking up around the time he freed the wolf was defiantly no coincidence. “I swear. I…I was here. She was here. I don’t understand what happened really, but I broke the chains and she gave you the spirit on my request.”213

Kaeda walked ahead and squatted to sweep some snow away. “There’s definitely no chains or nails here.”214

Kouta shook his head. He knew what he claimed was outrageous and that it was all probably just a fragment of his imagination. Yet, he had broken his rib again while walking towards the wolf, and he had lost a finger trying to break the chains.215

“I saw her. She was big, very big. Blue and white and had these cold white eyes. I swear I saw her.”216

Kaeda waltzed back to him and gently hugged him around the waist. “Kouta kun, you know what, it doesn’t matter. The important thing is that we’re safe. Whatever you did to help me wake from my coma, it was very brave.” She stretched up and kissed him. Kouta closed his eyes and enjoyed every second of it. He was over the moon about things between Kaeda and himself and he couldn’t have wanted more. His heart was full of love for the girl he had cared so much for and was so thankful she was healthy. Yet, what exactly happened on that night?217

“Hey! You two!”218

Kaeda broke away with a smile. Kouta returned the smile and took in the girl. Her red jumper and blue flower skirt, her hair and those eyes. How could he ever lose her. They both looked in the direction of the voice. Chisa was jogging towards them with great difficulty through the snow, Yuji following closely behind. She had something in her palms and was trying hard not to drop them. “Look what I’ve found!”219

Chisa jogged up to Kouta and Kaeda and showed them her open palm. Kaeda gave an ‘oh’ of surprise, but Kouta felt himself freeze. Chisa held four droplet shaped crystals. 220

“Where…did you find these?”221

Chisa motioned back to the opposite edge of the clearing. “Back there, Yuji was the one who actually noticed them. Beautiful aye? Think someone lost a necklace? I’ll share them with ya, Kaeda.”222

Kouta couldn’t stop himself. “Were there anything else? Metal? Chains maybe.”223

Chisa rolled her eyes. “You know, I regret telling you about the Okanken Oukami. You’ve clearly taken a far too unhealthy connection with the story, Kato kun.”224

Kaeda giggled and Chisa gave another one of her massively smug grins. Kouta smiled and shook his head. Maybe he was just imagining things. But weren’t these the tears of the wolf? Hadn’t he seen them freeze in midair and drop into the snow? And why did she have to call him tadpole?225

“Shut up. I’m not crazy.”226

Chisa winked at Kaeda and rolled her eyes. “Yeah? Well may I remind you that running into a forest to find a legendary wolf is not the best way to save your girlfriend.” Kouta made a grab at Chisa but missed. “Haha, you’re going to have to work if you want to catch me, Kato kun!” She stuck her tongue out at him and ran back, dragging an exasperated looking Yuji with her.227

Kouta shook his head and turned back to Kaeda. She was watching the trees with such serenity that Kouta felt his heart flutter. “Hey, Kae kun?”228

Kaeda turned and stared up at him with her beautiful eyes. “Yes?”229

Taking his heart’s desire in a warm embrace, Kouta kissed Kaeda’s pink hair. “Promise you won’t leave me like that again.”230

Kaeda smiled and nuzzled her cheek into Kouta’s chest. “And you promise too?”231

They kissed and to Kouta, it was the seal of their promise, a seal that won’t be broken and won’t be changed. He loved Kaeda with all his heart and he knew that Kaeda felt the same for him. They had been there for each other at the worst of situations and will be forever, in the face of anything to come. Kouta kissed Kaeda’s neck and thought of his encounter. Whatever happened on that night, he will never know. But still. Thank you Oukami. I hope I have helped you find Masao, as you have helped me find Kaeda.