He glanced over at her, his life partner, her breath misting the biosphere that contained her, the sheen of precipitation dissipating from the crystalline structure as she inhaled again. He watched her breathe for several long moments, awed by her continued existence, before glancing out the portal to his left, the view slightly distorted by the curve of his own biosphere.1
The planet hung against the scintillating carpet of space, its verdant blues swirled with the beige of landmasses and the pallid hues of precipitous cloud. Half the planet remained in gloom, the light of the Class E solar body not quite reaching around the arc of the world. In the darkness, however, he could see strings of iridescence – glimmering artificial lights used by the inhabiting species of the planet.2
As he waited for his partner’s biorhythm to change as prompted by the same chemistry that his had done earlier, he reflected on their mission – what they had travelled many star years to accomplish. Discovered a light era ago, the planet that their craft hovered around represented the shared dreams of their people. The planet proved a perfect choice to terraform into its original state again, and to purge the planet of the parasitic species that continued their unrelenting destruction of the planet’s resources. This dominant species enforced their unbending will on the planet, unbalancing the natural order and threatening to spiral the associated systems into irresolvable chaos.3
He stared at the sick planet, his essence attuned to the dying spirit of that world. He and his life partner represented the first of his people, ambassadors with the role to cleanse the planet of its parasitic species and install new stewards to heal the world and return it to its prior glory.4
Gas hissed as his biosphere made the final adjustments to allow him to exit and assume control of the craft. The crystalline structure melted back from his body, the nanoparticles shifting and reforming, dropping back to form a smooth border by his sides. As he eased his form sinuously from its previous entrapment, his noticed his life partner’s eyes flicker and open.5
He reached out to her, his essence melding with hers to allow the communication their people enjoyed above all things. 6
We’ve arrived?7
Yes. The planet awaits. Her beauty dies still.8
She looked beyond him and at the same view he himself took in before.9
I feel Her pain.10
As do I. She groans with the rape they have visited on Her, She needs relief.11
The interchange took place in relative silence, but his and her essences thrummed with a singular beat of pain originating from the planet.12
Do we have more data about the species?13
Yes. In much the same manner as the communication, he recalled the details of the species. Attuned to him, the craft projected an approximation of a sample in the space in front of them.14
Species Theta Omega?15
Yes. A variation of the ones our People have needed to eradicate from similar planet classes. These have a greater intelligence, but their genetic structure is unstable. They haven’t yet learned selective breeding. They share the common fault we’ve seen in this species before – a strong belief of a higher being. They slaughter each other and continue to pillage of this planet in the pursuit of this.16
Full extermination?17
Our mission brief allows some deviation. I recommend the implementation of the Delta deviation.18
Beside him, she integrated with the craft’s intelligence core to run a simulation of the deviation. After considering the data, the images dissolved. 19
I concur. Genetic manipulation and reprogramming of select individuals is a favourable option for this planet. Commence implementation of the Delta deviation?20
She eased her own form from her biosphere, and together they drifted to the portal. 21
It’s a beautiful planet.22
Yes. Our People should integrate well with the individuals that we allow to remain.23
Will we stay?24
Not this time.25
And so they stood guard for many revolutions, observing as the planet below them was cleansed. They silently watched the extermination of the genetically weak; the ones that ruined the planet to further their own greedy goals, the ones to would have killed the planet had they not ceased their mindless actions. 26
Finally, as the planet passed its third revolution of its solar body, they watched as terraforming slowly reversed the destruction. Their essence swirled with exhilaration as the planet’s ills disappeared and it now shone with fresh life.27
They left the portal to re-enter their biospheres in the sixth revolution, their craft preparing their forms for further travel into the depths of the galaxy, to yet another planet light years away that needed their help.28
As the craft disappeared into the cosmos, a small group of Species Theta Omega – genetically pure and their intelligence retuned – stood on the dawn of a new era.29
The ground they stood on used to be known as Earth. They now knew it only as Gaia, and eagerly awaited the arrival of those that would lead them.30
A contest entry
- Space: The final frontier. by Scott Chason.
100 points, ended November 10, 2008, 4 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Quick Sci-Fi by WritersEffigy.
120 points, ended December 15, 2008, 10 entries
Honorable mention
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Space The Final Frontier..... by Marta.
100 points, ended November 3, 6 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 13 of 13
-
What! Another contest with my title in it? I didn't know. Lol.
This is a good story, good luck with my contest.
beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.
-
Good read
I like your use of language, it makes it an easy read. The idea is well put even if it is an old one and predictable. The idea of aliens using selective breeding and choosing who is to live or die did creep me out a little as it put me in mind of the nazi 'final solution' so maybe thes alien dudes are not so nice as they appear.
Thought provoking stuff. Thank you.
-
Dude, I gotta be honest and say this was pretty weak. Firstly, the overall idea has been beaten to death. I mean, come on, there’s even that remake of “The Day The Earth Stood Still” now that’s all “sucky humans suck and Earth rules so let’s kill the sucky human sucks… oh, and humans suck”.
And aside from the simplified vilification and overblown chastisement of mankind, the New Age-y soft sci-fi stuff like “essences” and whatnot in contrast to the stilted, b-sci-fi movie stuff like “Class E solar body” or “light era” just makes the too-familiar message that much more irritating.
Another small detail that I caught also troubles me… you mention “selective breeding” in the story, which, though left vague, could be interpreted the wrong way. I mean, just what exactly do you mean when you write “genetically pure”?
To conclude, the title also seems tagged on and meaningless in regards to the story. And if it has some relevance, you might have done well to point out what it was. -
That was good. You sound like Robert Hienlien. Your grammer is very good as well. Keep uf the good work and have fun!
-
That was great! I know I was looking for fanasty but i'm a sucker for science fiction. I'm not saying it was science fiction but it was like both science fiction and fansty combined. Loved it!
-
Great work
I liked everything about this piece. Nothing felt forced as you let the story unfold. Your brief descriptions of the alien technology were very provoking and created the potent image of a superior intelligence. This image was further developed with the description of how they communicate.
I enjoyed that you brought up issues of social importance but didn't let them dominate.
-
Amazing! The viewpoint is fantastic, and you transform our perspective with the language and with the way it's delivered. I really like how you coyly led us in to the realization that these are extraterrestrial beings discussing the fate of earth. The ending concisely wraps it up, but leaves us with enough anticipation for more. Nicely done.
-
Oh wait, the TO's were made to forget their past as well? Wow! This sounds incredibly interesting! A different sort of postapocalyptic story for sure.
I do wish there were more about the cleansing, either what the alien folk thought of it, or what exactly was happening. It seemed to go a bit too thinly for my taste. I did like the "Class E solar body" though. Very Star Trek
.
Great story, excellent beginning!
-
Ah, very wise, very true...
I kind of wonder if the humans are looked upon as warriors of the planet, mere inhabitants, a disease, or a parasite...
I guess it depends on the person, too... and gah, honestly, your work just made me think so much about the stuff I've wondered about lately. Like soap.. Soap makes our skin and clothes and hair clean, but doesn't soap make the water dirty? And can soap water even be recycled??? Ah, just one of the things I've been thinking of.
Sorry for the rant, your piece just made me think so much. Your works reflected a truth that I only ponder about, and never really acted on...
For the beauty of the truth you've written this in, I am giving you my last applause of the day. Thank you for sharing this with us
-
My first impression was --- TERRIFIC!
A couple of things might be changed that could smooth out a bump or so:
"Biosphere" was used a number of times. Maybe substitue something such as "habitat" as a change.
The aliens are communicating regardless of the method used so I would suggest use of quotation marks.
What can I really say, you certainly deserved the gold.
Jim
-
Interesting
I've written a couple of stories with aliens coming to earth. It's fun to toy with the idea. So you would eliminate those who are greedy and religious? That wouldn't leave many.
Congratulations on winning the gold in Scott Chason's contest.
I would have liked more background on the aliens, why they were determined to rid the universe of such vermin as most of the human race
Andy
-
Two words:
You win. -
Interesting, I guessed that the planet was earth before you wrote it at the end though...
The technology/space language you used seems a little too emotionless, theres nothing wrong with using words such as "star" instead of "Class E solar body" it'll add a little extra depth as there are conotations in star that aren't in "Class E solar body"... but that's just my personal view, there are other examples that I noticed but won't mention here.
Use Speach marks rather than italics, it looks better that way.
Over all a well written and enjoyable peice
beginning: 2, language: 3, plot: 4, ending: 3, dialog: 3, characters: 4.
Adding your comment:
1 - 13 of 13
