I lie awake in bed1
Unable to divert my attention2
From your picture3
I'm in a trance..4
Your blue eyes seeming magnetic..5
..to mine6
I close my eyes7
A feeling of nostalgia 8
surging through me..9
The back of my eyelids showing..10
..only pictures of you11
...I love you..12
Author notes
I got a little "....." happy in this poem. =) An attmept at a poem..true opinions are helpful.. -hinthint-
What did you think? Please comment!
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
-
hey...i like this one...im sure that almost everyone can relate..good job...keep up the good work. keep writing.
cyndi -
This is really good. I really like the end. I know exactly how you feel too. Great job
-Becca -
Oh wow! This is wonderful and oddly enough this is the way I have been feeling lately! I love this! Keep it up!
Little-Lovah -
Aww...Yay...I don't feel so bad at writing happy sappy poems...
I write them too much...And this isn't nearly as sappy as some of the ones I've written! Ack...They get pretty bad...
Keep it up and all that jazz--
!~YS4e~!
Scarlett
-
awww this is beautiful
and that IS my true opinion. i know the feeling..i've laid in bed MANY a sleepless night with a picture of the one i love...*sigh* and it's okay taht you got "..." happy, cuz i love going "...." anyway! haha. but anyway!! this is a great write, can't wait to read more
~_amanda gayle_~ -
This is the definition of love. When you see them, even when your eyes are closed. How sweet.
-
Ohhh Damn...This is one of the most touching love poems ive ever read...this was really Deep as deep could be...I Can tell you that here you showed love at its higher level...love is a bless...and i wish you'll always be blessed by the true one....
Your Poem here is an amazing masterpiece...the magnificance love you showed here kept my soul and heart yearning to express the true feelings i felt for those amazing feelings u got in this concept but still i was left speechless....This poem is just Brilliant the way it is...don't change a thing...
By the way Kurt is one of my idols too...also love deftones and evanescence....but mostly i worship KORN..and the rest im into heavier music...seems we are alike...
U got an astonoshing piece of write here....
Keep up the good work...
Thanks for sharing...
Hassan
-
AW this is so Awesome sarah!....i definitly dont see much improvement that needs to be done sweets! Great job!
**Hannah -
i think this is really good!! i love the way you write...hehe. great job!! very very nice
and you can NEVER EVER be too '....' happy :-P hehe.
rock on*
lei -
aww this is sweet! great job! I love it!
Maddy -
This is sweet! I could not say anything bad about a beautiful 'attempt' (smiles) at a poem!!
Good writing Sarah, as always!! -
I love it...and I love you. And that's basically all I have to say.
Jackie -
Needs improvement..
-
Awwwwwwwwwwwwwww... SARAH!!!
This is beautiful! I love it!
Really... that's all I can say. I've been left speechless.
~*Samantha*~
1 - 14 of 14


