Let It Rain

Let it rain
By Ayesha Raees1

The sky was covered with black heavy rain filled clouds, blocking all the natural light that was suppose to shine onto the surface of the streets of Osaka. The rain was so heavy that even the late shoppers and night stalkers had escaped to their respective homes, leaving the once busy streets of Osaka in an unnatural death gripping silence. Nothing moved except for the rain itself, thundering down, hitting on the hard surface of the roads and bricked houses. The clouds thundered now and then as the rain washed the collected dust on the leaves of the trees.2

Despite how harsh the rain was and how loud the thunder was, how empty the streets were and how silent it was, there was still one person walking down a dark street, heading towards nowhere in particular.3

She carried no umbrella neither wore a mackintosh to prevent the rain from wetting her to the very core. If looked carefully, she was creating her own rain too.4

Tear after tear spilled from her wide green eyes, rolling down her cheeks, mixing with the purity of the rain, and then dripping from her chin onto the ground. Her tears were warm and sorrowful whereas the skies’ were cold and merciful. Hot and cold… mixed together, giving one another a wordless companionship.5

She wore a short black skirt; mesh black net under it, with a green and black top. Her hair was long and midnight blue but now wet because of the rain. Bangs were sprawled all over her forehead untidily, hiding her tearful green eyes.6

She was walking slowly, not caring that the rain might make her sick later and she already didn’t have any place to go and her illness would be a handful to herself. All her life, she had tried her best to be perfect and to please her family, all her life she had taken care of her little sister by herself, protected her, and loved her like a mother. She adored her family, her stoic cousin, her clever sister and even her harsh father. But she never thought that she would be betrayed by them. Betrayed and disowned by a family that she loved and worked hard to prove that she, also, was worth something.7

She stopped walking and flung her head back, her hair falling magically back as she stared at the dark sky, rumbling over her head… maybe crying for her? She closed her eyes, clearing her mind and allowing the cold rain to wash away her tears. She stood there for a second, not thinking anything, her lips pressed together tightly, her shoulders back, hands clenched into numb fists by her sides as she tried to clear her head.8

She didn’t know for how long she just stood there but when she looked forward again and opened her eyes and took her first step, she felt a lot better. It gave her a childish hope that the God had mercy on her and the sky cried tears for her fate. Might be ironic for some people, but now, it gave her hope… and reminded her of her childhood.9

Pushing back all her thoughts regarding her brother like cousin, her little sister and her strict father, she allowed herself to think of her mother. She was four when she had left them and at 10

that time, her sister was only two and needed a mother’s love. She, despite the fact that she was only four, took an unspoken responsibility of looking after her even though there were thousands of maids appointed only for the two of them.11

But since then, her mother’s name was never spoken in the household. It was, like the fact that she took care of her little sister, an unspoken rule not to mention her. She hadn’t seen or talked to her mother since the age of four.12

She walked down the street again; her steps now steady even though she had no idea where she was going and where she would stay the night. She stopped in front of a phone booth and stared at it for a second.13

She bit her bottom lip as an inner voice told her to call someone. Sighing, she regarded the thought at the back of her head because she knew that it was pointless. She had nobody to call to… no friends and now, no family.14

But regardless, she walked into the phone booth so she could be safe from the cold outside and have a roof under her head. Maybe she can stay there until morning? But then what…? Where would she go?15

She sighed again and entered through the glass door before she leaned against the small square like box, allowing her muscles to relax as she slid down to sit onto the floor and moved her eyes dazedly to look at the still pattering rain through the glass door. She turned her head and her eyes fell on the red telephone book beside the phone. Finding nothing else to do, she raised her wet hand and grabbed the telephone book, pulled it onto her lap and opened it.16

She had only gone through the first few pages when she suddenly spotted a name that made her heart stop. Gulping a sudden knot in her throat, she narrowed her eyes, because of the lack of light in the phone booth, at the name, trying to convince her stubborn mind to realize that it was true or not.17

And it was like her mind wasn’t working anymore but still her body was. Without thinking, she got up from the dirty floor and grabbed the receiver before dialing the certain number beside the familiar yet lost name.18

With each bell, her heart fell; feeling foolish of what was she doing. Several times she ordered her body to put the receiver back saying that it was pointless of calling a person who wouldn’t even remember her… of a person who…19

And at that time, at the last bell, somebody picked the phone and despite that it was late, the voice was young, fresh and energetic.20

“Hello,” a singsong voice yelled.21

Her heart suddenly stopped beating. There was no way that this person would be her mother. How can it be? The voice sounded younger than her! But then she suddenly realized; maybe it’s her new daughter and she married again.22

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All the more reasons not to call her.24

“Hello?” the voice was more questioning now.25

She closed her eyes tightly and gulped a knot in her throat.26

“He-hello” she stammered.27

“Who is this?”28

“Er… is this… Tsuki Yakata?”29

“Sure is…may I know you?”30

I took a deep breath. Ok, she didn’t have another daughter and it was truly her. She gathered the last of her courage and squeaked out.31

“It’s Saya Tohsaka,”32

There was such an awkward silence that she felt that the world was growing black and the ground on which she was standing on had suddenly disappeared. She was frozen to the spot, her shoulders stiff, and her hand numb on the receiver which was pressed against her ear so hard that it was hurting her. Thousands of doubts, questions, and worries came rushing into her head and she regretted even calling her. It was obvious that her mother wanted nothing of her and she had already forgotten who she was. Nobody remembered her. She was just another lost person in the sea of population on Earth. Maybe she should commit suicide and end her life and this way, one person in the population would disappear. It wasn’t like there was someone who would cry on her dead body… it wasn’t like someone cared…33

A sob sounded at the end of the line, making her jerk her head upwards, almost hitting the wall behind her. Was her mother crying?34

“Oh my child…” the voice went on, sobbing. “I thought…I would never… never hear of you again,”35

“Mother?” I voiced by surprise and worry.36

At the sound of a lost child calling a woman mother, the woman’s sobs become even higher. She felt her tears suddenly go moist and tears started to flow from her eyes again…37

There was a minute silence as the both women cried, their emotions connected with only a mere telephone line.38

Outside the rain still pattered onto the road with force, reminding the two of them that they were not the only one crying.39

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Five years later41

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She sat on the sofa and looked out of the window as it rained heavily, reminding her of everything that had happened five years ago. Everything that happened on that certain day was only experienced, except for herself and her mother, by the rain itself. Every time it rained, it bought back memories… memories that she cherished and held them near to her heart, not letting them go.44

The memory of her sister of playing in the rain…45

The memory of her cousin laughing at her…46

The memory of her panicking that she would get a cold…47

The memory of her father not knowing anything about it…48

The memory of her getting disowned and kicked out in the rain…49

The memory of her when she called her mother doubtfully…50

And then those tears, those hugs, those kisses and a new home. She had found a person who she hadn’t even met since the age of four, her loving mother, who offered her to live with her and continue her life. A person that only she didn’t love but was loved back too.51

Although she was now nineteen, she still acted childish and thanked the rain for being there and soothing her with its cold calm touch, for guiding her to the phone booth and then to her mother. If it wasn’t for the rain, she would have been homeless and alone. She was thankful for the beautiful gentle water from the sky to comfort her and sooth her like it probably did so many others in the past. The rain was itself old and that made it gentle. It had thrashed down billions of times, on the land at countless numbers of eras and had experienced things that were beyond thinking. If a person considered the rain as a companion, it would be the best one ever.52

As long as a person walk on the Earth’s surface, abandoned, broken, sad and what not but that person would never be alone… never. Because every time happiness fail and you feel like dying, there’s always something that you can hold onto; the rain, the wind… anything and that is why you are never alone. It’s only a matter of thinking and of acting childish. Everything is lively in this world of God… He did not made us to mere contract with the humans but He also made us to contract with all the beauties of the world… including the rain.53

“Honey… where’s the coffee?”54

She sighed and crawled from the sofa and walked towards the kitchen. She shook her head at her mother who rummaging through stuff in a cupboard, trying to look for the coffee.55

“Mom, the coffee’s on the table,” she said hopelessly as her young and ever so energetic mother looked around frantically before spotting the jar on the table. She smiled happily and grabbed it, before looking at me.56

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“Oh Saya, if you weren’t here I would probably be lost,” she chuckled to herself before winking at me “Love you SO much,”58

She shook her head at her mother’s childish demeanor but smiled anyway.59

“I love you too,”60

Outside the rain still pattered against the glass windows, experiencing everything.61