i remember that day I saw you1
I was just a child2
I looked at you an suddenly a woman i became3
it had to have been adream4
for someone so gentle5
I must have been right6
cause right when I closed my eyes7
BLINK! You were gone8
So complicated or so it seemed9
How could this happen what does it mean10
It was love, was that all11
we were so young, could it be wrong12
After all the time and rain13
why couldn't they see14
we were meant to be15
Not just a love song16
a pain full story
Author notes
really bad but what can i do. I just want this as a reminder as to how much better my writing has gotten.
I guess i wrote this after my first bf was forced to move away. I never got to see him again. It still hurts because even if we had broken up he was my best friend and i'll always care about him.
In a list
A contest entry
- poetry by trekkergirl.
175 points, ended December 10, 2008, 93 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Have you ever lost a loved one? by trekkergirl.
175 points, ended January 7, 29 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
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:O Oh my dais...
Oh ma GOD!
You made me cry - seriously EVEROYNE is makeing me cry today lol
This is a real beautiful poem and reminds me of my first love aswell
xox HEX xox
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awe the loss of your first love. that can indeed be very painful. Thanks for sharing this and thanks for entering it into this contest.
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I liked it. The language clearly picks up that this was written by a younger person, so it fits...and as you say, shows how far your writing has come since.
beginning: 4, language: 4, plot: 2, ending: 4, dialog: 3, characters: 2.
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just love the background. Very peaceful. This isn't to bad of a write. thanks for sharing it with us and thanks for entering it into my contest.
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