by Geri Fitzsimmons & Andy Stephenson1
Crystal tears like tiny gems glistened on ivory skin beneath soft brown eyes. Childishly she sniffled and ran her hand across her nose; small teeth caught a lower pink lip and nibbled. Twenty-six. How pathetic she’d become. ‘Loneliness is a terrible thing.’ Michelle Baine reflected on the things the guy at Crisis Center said. ‘Michelle I’ve been there, so I know it’s not easy. Believe me it will pass…’2
She finished filling the basket with grounds and replaced it in the coffee maker. Another person with their good advice, like time heals all, she consoled herself. They could all go to Hell. She paused a moment before she flicked the switch. What she really needed was sleep—a couple of days of sleep. She flicked the on switch. She had barely put together several good hours of rest since Hal’s final call.3
Michelle pushed her hundred and five pounds away from the counter and with hunched shoulders shuffled to the small dinette set. A plain white vase with a single red plastic carnation adorned the center of the table. Everything in her apartment was uncomplicated and rather nondescript.4
Hal couldn’t stand it. ‘Mickey’s spic and span dollhouse,’ he’d snicker and deliberately toss his dirty socks on her clean floor; or light up a cigarette and blow smoke to stink up the place.5
Slumping at the Formica topped table, she let her face drop into her palms. Why had he lied? Why had he said, ‘I just need some space, get my head clear. Then we can discuss things, put them in perspective.’ She knew he wasn’t coming back. She’d sensed things going downhill after their first month together. It was always like that. First the big come on. The dates, the gifts, then I love you bull while they satisfied their lust. Hal had lasted longer than others. Hal actually moved in, and she saw a future. Pictured a home—their home…a child—their child…6
There was a knock at Michelle's door. It startled her. ‘Hal?’ Her hands flew to her short brown bob and finger combed as she shoved away from the table and rushed to the front door. At five in the morning, who but Hal would be at her door? He did love her. He wanted to make it work.7
Big city living made her automatically pause before she opened the door. She glanced through the peephole to see a young man. It wasn’t Hal. He was smiling and looked friendly enough, yet she left the door chained and cautiously opened it a crack.8
"Can I help you?" she asked.9
"I'm from the Crisis Center and I'm here to help you."10
“What!” She nearly choked on her surprise. “Why would you come here?” she uttered in amazement. "Oh. I didn't know that you would come here."11
He handed her a business card. “We do what we feel is necessary Michelle.” His friendly smile spread across even white teeth. There was no star quality to the face, but he was clean-shaven and pleasant appearing. His voice held a hint of a western drawl. "If we feel it’s appropriate, we follow up on callers," he said. "May I come in?"12
The Crisis Line? How odd, still the man on the phone had been genuinely concerned. He’d questioned her about family or friends she could turn to. When she admitted there was no one close, he said, “That’s not good. How long have you been in the city?” He must have sent this volunteer.13
The man outside her door wasn’t pushy; he didn’t seem in a hurry only waited patiently for her to decide to turn him away or let him in.14
She only hesitated for the time it took to convince herself that it couldn’t hurt. She closed the door and slid back the night latch. “Suppose you can come in,” she said as she opened the door fully. “I just made coffee, would you like some?”15
“That would be nice Michelle.” He removed and tossed his suede coat on a chair and followed her. “You have a nice apartment, have you lived here long?”16
“It’s rather small, but living space in the city is at a premium—but I suppose you know that.” She took twin mugs from a white metal tree on the counter and filled them with coffee. “Cream? Sugar?” she said as she set them on the table.17
He politely pulled two chairs from the table, assuring her, “Black is fine.” He sat in one. When she sat in the other he said frankly, "So, you are wanting to commit suicide?"18
Shocked, she stammered, “No, no, not now. I’m feeling much better now.” She lifted her cup and took a sip of the coffee. Holding it in her mouth she stared at the stranger who posed the blunt question.19
There wasn’t the slightest change in his facial expression, as he said, "But you have thoughts of suicide often, don't you?"20
Swallowing, suddenly very uncomfortable, she squirmed and felt heat rise in her cheeks as she admitted, “Sometimes.”21
“This persistent desire comes back again and again…” His tone dropped into whisper, “You want to die Michelle? The thoughts of death, ending your sorry state, will come back won’t they?” His blue eyes bore into hers and his hand reached over and gently grasped one of hers. “Every time you remember that Hal deserted you and you caused him to leave, drove him away like you do everyone.”22
Hal? Of course they’d filled him in on things she’d told that fellow on the Crisis Line. A worried frown stiffened her face and tightness grew in her chest. Why was he saying such things? Didn’t he realize how much it hurt to face the facts of what a pathetic creature she was? “Please, don’t…”she whimpered. Fresh tears stood in her eyes and she bit deeply into her bottom lip.23
He squeezed her fingers. The tone of his voice stayed low almost pleading. “Admit it Michelle. What have you got? A piss poor job that barely covers expenses. Every month you’re raiding one credit card to pay another.” His dark hair that shined with health and grooming, waved slightly when he nodded slowly as if contemplating her wretched state. “If you had a few extra bucks you might be able to do something to improve your looks—but that’s doubtful.” It wasn’t actually a sneer that followed more like a sorrowful groan. “Poor plain Michelle, with so many hang-ups she can’t even give her fellow a good fuck.”24
“Stop, please stop.” Hot tears were spilling out and running down her cheeks. She tried to pull her hand away, but he held it tight. "What are you trying to do?"25
“Let you see the truth. Ask yourself, what do I have to live for? An honest answer would be—nothing.” His free hand reached for his coffee and he took a deep drink while his eyes continued to bore into hers. Then he set the cup down and smiled. “When I leave, you’ll be alone again. Alone and wanting to end it?”26
“I guess,” she whimpered.27
“You’ll be alone. No one here. This tiny empty apartment suffocating you, the walls closing in...you’ll cry, perhaps scream but no one will hear or care. You’ll try to end it and it will hurt and you’ll suffer.” He took her other hand in his and held it close to his mouth and breathed on the iciness then pressed it to his lips and whispered, “I don’t want you to go through all that pain. I don’t want you to be alone. I want to be with you. Help you.” He placed her hand on the table and reached up to soothe her hair. “You can effortlessly go to sleep, while I stay right here beside you.”28
"I'm not sure anymore. ” She continued to weep. “I’m not sure about dying.”29
“It’s your time Michelle.” His tone became sweetly sinister and intensified the caring expression on his face. Retrieving a bottle of clear liquid from his pocket, he emptied it in her coffee. “Drink your coffee Michelle and you’ll go gently to sleep.” A small plastic bird popped out of a clock on the wall and a cheap mechanism chimed three times.30
“What a pitiful creature--even your clock is worthless.” A knife came from a holder at his waist; he laid it on the table. “Today is your day to die Michelle. By your hand or mine. Either way is fine with me.”31
Michelle was in no shape to fight on. Her stare fixed on the hunting knife. It terrified her. Life seemed too hard and fighting this man was beyond her. A strange relief settled on her face as she lifted the cup and drank the coffee. If she died no one would care. Satisfied, maybe he would just leave. She could call 911….
In a list
Comments
1 - 32 of 32
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o.o...I know I haven't read up in a bit XD Sorry rl stuff...but wow...the dicriptiuonand emotion drew me in somuch I thought I heard a snap at the end when I was pulled out...I think my face was to the screen XD not litterly but still...it was awsome... Keep up the good work...sorry I not so good at editing but I didn't see anything wrong eaither o.o
Love the story...
Karissa.
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Hi Karissa!
I'm very pleased that you like this chapter. We appreciate you reading, commenting, and all the applause.
It's good when a story draws you deeply into it. I'm happy to hear that this story is doing that for you.
Andy
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Holy Cow!!!!!
This is so intense, my goodness I don't think I want to open my doors anymore to anyone.
You guys are doing a great job with this....wow!
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Hi EE!
We're very happy that you've started reading this story. We hope you'll enjoy it and only be scared enough to keep reading
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Can you empathize with poor Michelle?
Andy
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I think I've narrowed it down. It's either a guy from the radio station or the crisis center.
He's a smooth opperator, compared to the guy in the prologue. It makes me wonder what made him change so much. I didn't expect the 'death' choice, and I thought Michelle would fight at the end, but then I've never been that far down in life. Of course she didn't really think she was going to die.
I'm hooked I have to keep going.
Th.
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Hi Tammy!
Glad you're hooked
!
Well, we can't go telling you who done it when you haven't even got past the first half. I will tell you this. We expect the reader to catch on before the police do.
Michelle was unable to put up a fight, you're right about that. She was pretty low and he cut her even lower. Fighting, him armed with a knife, was more than she could face.
Thanks for reading us.
Andy
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Well, it seems that I have already read and commented on this!
Anyway, it was as interesting and well-written as last time. I would give you some applause again, but it won't let me.
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Hi Sberendt!
Yep, you did indeed read and comment on this before and it won't let you give more than the maximum applause.
We're glad to have you reading us. If you want to read it twice, we'd like that too.
Andy
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Hmm, I am intrigued! It was a bit of a shock, when he told her that she should choose to die. I suspect that perhaps whatever she ended up drinking might not actually kill her, just make her think she's going to die (hopeful), then allow her to live for the actual murder, but that's with the info I have from the prologue (and the hint "different MO") and what I think I know of your usual suspects from your other stories. I can't wait to see how this turns out.
He's a terrible man... it will be interesting to see how this ends.
I'm going to shut up now and go to the next chapter -
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Hi!
We have a clever killer. He changed his M. O. We go more into his background and reasons for his behavior as the story progresses.
A terrible man? Ah, he's just got a couple of tiny personality flaws.
Andy
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Way cool story. I'm commenting here but I read up to chapter ten. I've got even money on Mark Gheil being the bad guy. I'll read more later.
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Steve, thanks for picking up on the second draft
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This one should be polished (Oh Andy--
) but if you come across any boo-boos please point them out. If something just doesn't read correctly, or you think that, say so.
We appricate your interest in our novel. You think Mark is the killer? well... 
can't tell you. You have to read to find out.
Geri
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Hi!
Thanks very much for reading our story and all the applause. We greatly appreciate it. Have you read the prologue and chapter one?
Can't tell you who dun it, that would spoil things.
This is the second draft of the novel. At this time it goes to chapter sixteen. If you want to go further, you can continue on the first draft. Click the link 'The Devil Came East' beneath the chapter. Click the link on the list, 'Secret Radio Murders'. That will take you to the first draft and you can continue from there. We're nearly finished with the first draft.
Andy
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Wow. Interesting development! The killer easily manipulated Michelle's doubts about living and had her choose to die! I wonder if he will still kill her in his own way....he did bring a knife after all. This killer doesn't peg me as one to sit by and let his victim kill themselves, I think that he'd want to have a hand in it.
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Hi!
I hope that you like our killer. You'll find out more about him and what makes him tick as the story unfolds. You'll probably enjoy the characters and the plot.
Andy
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Yes!
I think my hate for this guy is now turning to loathing.
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Hi!
We wanted our killer to be different from the norm. I hope you like our characters as the story develops
Andy
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WOW, a killer who makes them confess their weaknesses in brutal fashion and then makes them kill themselves or kills them! I love that concept, what detail of character and what a mindset! I love this chapter!
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Yes,
This killer is particularly cruel. He takes away all they have to live for and then forces them to die. He prefers vulnerable young women.
I'm very pleased that you like this chapter.
Andy
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Yet again, it is sooooo human. I can literally imagine this going on in some lonely apartment in a lonelier city. It displays the sprawled out, disconnected way of city life. Anyone can be anything if they have the right ID.
Very clever, and yet again I am bowing down to two fabulous writers!
xxx
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Wow Horanzu!
Fabulous writers? The compliment is really appreciated. In this collaboration, I write bare bones and Geri fleshes them out. She's amazing.
I'm very pleased that you're enjoying our story.
Andy
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Getting better with each chapter
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And so it begins. This is wonderfully written. The emotions are plain in both characters and you have allowed the reader to see the conflicting emotions of Michelle and the colder nature of this strange man. Keep up the great work.
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Hi there!
I've caught up with your comments, finally. Sorry I was not faster.
I'm glad that you like the start of our novel.
We really appreciate your decision to read us and hope that we will keep you engaged and entertained.
Andy
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WOOOOW! Things are starting. I'm so happy!
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Howdy again!
Another missed comment
. I hope that you'll stay with the story. We appreciate you reading us.
Andy
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Good one
I knew it, see I read way too much. Another great instalment. Well written.
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Thanks Thayla
Reading is a good thing, isn't it? Anyway, I'm glad you are reading us.
So, no surprises in this chapter. That's too bad. I'm glad you like it, though.
Thanks for all the applause.
Andy
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Uhhh.. ok... I seriously just critiqued this same story... only I guess it was under Geri's name! ha! good one on me! So, will you check out what I wrote to Geri or do you want me to copy/paste my red ink & comments here, too?
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No problem, we both have access to any reviews made on the novel.
Thanks so much for picking up the booboos. I’m attempting to keep up with the edits from the start this draft.
Lazy me has a tendency to wait, hope Andy catches them and finally do six or seven chapters at once
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We are so grateful to have another ‘Eagle eye’ interested in our story and do hope you will keep reading, commenting and enjoying the tale.
Geri
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whoa! didnt see that coming
Of course, my first thought was that there was going to be a long, friendly conversation, trying to help her. But then when he started to talk like that, i wasnt sure what was going on, and then as he continued, it dawned on me. You guys did this perfectly. Great work. I loved it,
Bret
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Thanks Bret
Thanks for reading, commenting, and all the applause. We appreciate it. This killer has a style all his own. Very glad that you like this story.
Andy
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