My Diary

It’s a travesty. A bloody travesty, that’s all it is! As if miss Alicia “I cant work because my push up bra is slowly suffocating me” Atkins is a better worker than me!? I should have gotten that promotion. 1

I ask you, out of all the honest workers in this world she had to get the promotion.2

Damn bastards.3

Day one: time for a radical new change4

I have decided to get my life in order, not however by sitting at a desk and reading mind numbingly boring spreadsheets about politics and sex scandals. I am going to apply for a new job – one which ill actually enjoy, and look forward to going to.5

Chapter One: Radical Change out the window6

“Sarah – get Alicia’s article about the Marcus Bailey trial and proof read it would you?”7

I cringed. For gods sake man, can you not see that I'm radically changing my life?!8

I nodded graciously and shoved my leather bound diary into the drawer,9

“What was that?” he asked. NOSY BASTARD. I smiled innocently and replied, “oh nothing sir, just a book which my daughter…er lent me.”10

He doesn’t know I don’t have a daughter, right?11

“Oh – right. Well you’re meant to be working, read memoirs in your own time please.”12

I smiled and gritted my teeth. God I’d like to sling him a nifty left hook one day.13

I slowly rose from my chair and cautiously made my way to Alicia’s office. Knocking on the door, I breathed in. God she was going to be so smug – could I take it without socking her one? No time to think – the door sprang open and there she was standing. 14

“Erm…Julien wants me to proofread the Bailey trial article. Do you have it?” I asked sweetly.15

“No! What do you think I am? A secretary?” she snapped. I was taken aback, sure she was a bitch but something had gotten her really riled today.16

“NO! but I heard that secretaries are meant to shag their bosses to get to the top, so I'm sure you’d settle right into the role!”………is what I would have loved to say, but instead, me being me, I just shrugged and asked her if she knew where it would be.17

25  minutes later, I arrived back at my desk having being parcelled about from department to department looking for the bloody article. I hope Julien was going to be happy with this, I could just picture in my head what would happen if he degraded my work and nitpicked at my errors again.18

Oh god. Here comes the hunk of the entire building, Luke Marlett – he is so gorgeous, just wandering around looking like a lost little boy. I just want to give him a moderately large hug.19

“Um, Sarah is it?”20

Oh my god. Oh-my-god. Say something, say something, don’t just sit there like a gawping idiot!21

“Yes that is indeed, my, um, name.” I tried saying this in my most seductive voice but it came out sounding like a strangulated cow.22

“Julien wanted me to give you this – it’s the article?”23

My whole body froze. The article?! 24

“No no, there must be some mistake – I have the article here, infact I just spent an hour proofreading it!” I passed him the sheet,25

“See?”26

He nodded slowly.27

“This isn’t the Marcus Bailey trial article, this is the Attewell leaders in Corporate finance spreadsheet figures for 2004.”28

WHAT!? My head was a complete mental block, I had just been reading this and proofreading it again and again and I never once twigged that it was about corporate finance?! I was going mad.29

“Um…thanks anyway. I suppose I’d better be getting to this then.” I stammered.30

He smiled sympathetically, god I HATE it when they do that – you feel like someone’s about to come along and pat you on the head and give you a lollypop and say ‘there there dear it’s all ok now.’31

Jesus.32