What Happened?! (Deuce)

1

Amber ran to her room, grabbed her boxcutter, and sat in her closet. She pulled up her pants leg with tears streaming down her face. She knew she shouldn't have even thought about doing it with Joscelin just sitting there watching her every move. She couldn't help it though. She couldn't take it anymore. Her mom had hurt her feelings one to many times for her to just do nothing. She couldn't hold it in anymore. She slid the blade out and in an instant it was out of her hand. Joscelin ran over and grabbed it from her. 2

With tears streaming down his face he said, "What are you doing?!!" 3

Amber couldn't reply. It hurt to bad to think about what she had just done. She knew she didn't have to cut, not then. She could've talked to Jos. She could've waited. No, she had to have tried it then. She didn't care though. She just couldn't take it!  4

Joscelin hugging her close, rocking back and forth, resisting her fighting, managed to get out, "I LOVE you, Amber! I CAN'T lose you! 5

"Don't TOUCH me! PLEASE, just leave me ALONE!" she screamed. 6

She didn't know why she was taking it out on Joscelin. Maybe it was because he truly loved her. Maybe it was because she could see in his eyes that she hurt him and she didn't want to come to terms with that fact. All she knew was that she truly loved him. What would she do without him?! She wouldn't survive. 7

Finally she just gave up and stopped fighting and resisting his comfort. She just felt so safe with him. Safer than she had ever felt with anyone else. She just stared into his tear filled eyes, wanting to just stay in that moment forever. She could see how deeply he loved her, and in that instance, how he could change her whole world with three little words. 8

"I love you Joscelin..." she sighed. "I'm sorry... I swear I didn't mean to hurt you. I don't know what happened. I'm sooo sorry baby." 9

"I know you didn't mean to hurt me. You and your mom need help! I've always said that, and THIS proves it," he stated. "I... I just... I can't lose you, Amber. I know you get tired of me saying that, but baby... if you knew how much you meant to me. If you knew how much I count on you to keep me sane... If only you knew what I would do for you, you would understand why I say it so much. I love you." 10

"You're gonna make me cry again, but this time 'happy tears'." 11

"You need to cry happy tears..." 12

"Baby, I have a question... I need your honest answer too ok," Amber said, trying to be as calm as she could. 13

"Umm...," he said, kinda hesitant of what she would say, "ok..." 14

"If I went to get help with my cutting problem, for you, would you come with me?" she said, her mouth and throat dry, anxious for his reply.  15

Jos gave a sigh of relief. "You would do that for me?" he said grinning. 16

"Why wouldn't I, Jos? You know, I love you too. It kills me when you hurt."  17

Joscelin, trying not to cry, said, "In that case baby, my answer is yes! I would GLADLY take you, hunni. 18

"Thank you baby..." 19

Amber lay back against Joscelin, and both lay there, just being satisfied from being in the presence of the other. Amber nodded off to sleep, and Joscelin gently picked her up and lay her on her bed. He kissed her forehead, whispered 'I love you' in her ear, and then walked over to her dresser. He took a tube of her lipstick and wrote "I love you, Amber, you will always have my heart" on her mirror. He then walked out of her room, sadness overcoming him from having to leave, and went home.20