Crossroad

1

We stood at the crossroads. The wind blew lightly, sending my hair in my face but everything else was silent as we both stood together but apart. My back to him because I couldn’t bear to see his face as my words sunk in. Finally, he breaks the silent. 2

“What-What do you mean?”3

His words were so filled with hurt, that I felt something in me twisted. I turned around quickly, my eyes accusing. 4

“I mean I can’t do this. I can’t be with you, its too fast. I feel like I’m just a small boat on a big wave and being pushed around. Please, I don’t want to hurt you but this is…..too much.” 5

He just stood there, looking stunned as my words hit him like stones. His brown eyes were so wounded and I could almost feel his pain but I couldn’t relent. I didn’t know what I felt or what I was thinking. I was losing my mind in this relationship, he was ten years my senior and he was my life. He took and he took and he took. Everything just seemed out of my control and I needed an archer and this was my only way to stop the ride that was spinning to fast and making me sick. He was consuming me. I couldn’t look in the damn mirror without seeing him. Then I felt something shift and looked up sharply at him to see his eyes were now cold and his fist clench.6

“ You are a bitch. I might as well be with my wife.” 7

The words widen my eyes and I jerked back as if I had been stabbed and held my stomach. Tears began to fill my eyes and I looked to the side and bit my lip. 8

“At least look at me!”9

I jerked my head toward him and look him in the eye and a tear rolled down my cheek. 10

“I’m sorry. I-” 11

Tears choked up my throat as his rose fist fell to his sides in defeat and he turned. Our roles had reversed, now his back was turned to me. 12

“I love you.”  He said weakly and walked away, leaving me by myself. Alone. Just as it was in the beginning when we met. 13

“I know, but maybe too much.” I whispered to myself and began to sob. 14