03/11/08

Why is it most girls seem obsessed only with finding ‘the perfect man’? Why is it the ones who call themselves writers, at least the ones in my seminar, so frequently write about romance? Are they truly silly girls with nothing in their heads but vague and unrealistic notions of love? Before, I had given girls the benefit of the doubt, as to see them in such a light is disappointing for me and degrading for them. But it seems there is some truth to it, at least. But then, most guys are stupid too. It is a human thing, not a female one.1

And why is it Sasha’s laugh goes right through me every time? It must be the falseness of it. It is a hollow laugh, and it grates on me. Falsity is something I have discovered I cannot stand. But it is strange how an apparent sound of mirth like laughter can be so annoying, isn’t it?2

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A homeless man asked me for some change today. I glanced at him as I walked by, but I didn’t stop. As I walked away, he got his fiddle out and started playing on the pavement. Afterwards, I got my wallet out and looked at my change. I wished I’d stopped for him. I could have spared a pound or so.4

Why is it money has such power over decency, empathy and morality? It is as though every time we part with money, we drain a little life blood from ourselves. It shouldn’t be this way. We should be able to give without restraint, and without thinking ‘Can I afford this?’5

I saw a child wandering along the pavement in the rain alone last week. I was wondering if I should stop and ask if he knew where his parents were, but he didn’t look very scared or worried. He was just toddling along in the rain with a drawing in his hand. So I didn’t stop. Now, I’m wondering: should I have stopped? Was he lost? And if he was lost, did he find his parents, or was he picked up off the street by some pervert? I find myself wishing I had stopped. I find myself wishing I’d stopped for the child and given the homeless man some change.6

Next time, I will do these things.7