Avalanche!!!

The dragon stretched, chewing at a maroon mango. He decided he wanted gingerbread for lunch, but, upon inspecting the larder, discovered that the mustard had gone mad and committed what can only be described as epic slaughter. Shards of glass and the bodily fluids of various sauces lay splattered about.1

Regretfully, the dragon was forced to lay waste to a nearby bakery, carrying off all the virginal gingerbread bakers.2

Meanwhile, in the bog, Yoda was wearing sunglasses. But then he realized that the sun couldn't pierce the fog belt above his planet, making the sunglasses both pointless and inappropriate. Maybe even anachronistic. They immediately vanished.3

Smoke tumbled out of the sky, trickling down onto the graveyard. Wherever it touched, the grass turned blue and sickly, crackling into strange fire-backed gems. They then trickled into the soil, turning it a lovely shade of cerulean. The corpses, however, were not pleased. They expressed their unhappiness by breaking out of their coffins, digging, digging, digging with eternal patience and fortitude into the dirt.4

Unfortunately, they were corpses, and thus did not know or remember that they had, according to local custom, been buried face-down. Accordingly, they never hit the surface. Being mindless zombies, however, this discrepancy did not bother them. They tunneled with singular, admirable patience until they reached rock, at which point their fingers began to shred and break. Thanks to their supernatural toughness, though, they weren't out of the game yet! After a few hours of this, their finger-bones wore down to the arms with very sharp, solid points. They made good progress through the rock after that, having toughened their arm-bones with experience points earnt by killing and eating all the tiny burrowing animals they had discovered, including an unfortunate team of spelunkers when they broke through the surface of a small cave.5

The cave should have been confusing, by all rights, but they happily continued mindlessly downward after the meal (they left no tip, because the help had been rude.) Because, after all, they'd gotten quite good at digging by this point. Why mess with success? 6

Besides, rising from one's own graveyard is so cliche, anyway. The zombies decided, or rather their constituent quarks decided (zombies being incapable of thought, unlike their sub-atomic particles, which are inveterate information brokers) that burrowing to the other side of the planet might even be good for A Guinness World Record!7

This made the zombie-quarks very excited.8

Sadly, they neglected to communicate with other quarks along the way, which is why zombies don't really exist -- their quarks fail to tell our quarks they're there. If they had, they might have discovered the imminent change of landscaping.9

As it turned out, only a few of them had enough EXP to purchase fire immunity, and none of them had bothered to learn how to swim. (They were *burrowing*, after all.) Being dead, the zombies failed to notice the growing heat of the rocks. 10

Those which weren't incinerated by magma when they finally broke through the Earth's crust are probably still floating down there, helplessly nonexistent.11

Let that be a lesson, kiddies -- never try to tunnel through the Earth without doing your research first! And always bring asbestos.12

On the other side of the planet, meanwhile, an old lady fed her parakeet, oblivious to its murderous plans. That very night, a chainsaw exploded through her wall of its own volition, slashing the draperies to bits. The repair bills were very expensive, and in the end, she died of an empty wallet.13

The parakeet rejoiced.