My name? Hope. My age? who knows. my mission? To survive.
I live in a dangerous world. A world where life, is a weapon. Death is common. Justice is a toy. And love, is futile.
This is me.
chapter One- Run
I flew from stone to stone. My red hair flowing behind me. My bear feet slapping against the rock. Trees flashed in front of me. then were gone. I heard the vampires behind me. I could never out run them. I couldn't. No. I had to stop. My throat. I gasped for air. I, had, to, stop. I stopped.
I turned in a flurry, before me the three vampires stopped to. I didn't look at their eyes, I wouldn't. I knew they would be coal black, blacker then the cloudless night. I pulled my wooden pole from my belt. I had carved it before they found me the vampires, I mean. Before 'He' betrayed me. I glared with hate at one of the vampires. He looked like the rest of them, but I could tell them apart. I can.
"Batrayio". I said. "I wish this pole were through your heart right now." Batrayio laughed. "You wish child. you wish."
Batrayio walked slowly towards me, I knew he wouldn't bite though. I was the last human. They needed me. They needed me alive. Batrayio touched my flushed cheek with his cold hand. He slid it under my chin. I wished I could stab him, I did. But the other two would kill me, That I knew. He slid his hand over my face, and then drew it away slowly. "Get her" he murmured. I took a deep breath, and ran again.
The vampires chased me once more. They surely would have caught me. But I ran out of the dark forest. I ran into a field of flowers, where the sun shone brightly. Here they dared not go. In the sun, they would wilt, they would lose their beauty and strenth, they would be giving up their life. They would die. They glared, and swore. But they would not enter. I was safe, I sat down to rest. Finally they left.
Once it was dark enough, I got to my feet, and whistled our whistle. then sat back down to wait. Half an hour later I had a fire going, and was keeping watch in-case the vampires tried anything.
Then Vicky arrived.
Vicky was a vampire. We had been good friends when we both were the only humans left. but then he one day Batrayio cornered him. Now he's is a vampire, yet, my fiend. Its still bit hard to trust him though. Because my last boy, vampire, friend, betrayed me. I barely escaped with my life. He was Batrayio. My ex-boyfriend, I have never forgiven him.
"Hope."
Vicky's voice sounded different. Tense. Strained. I tensed. ready to run.
Then his voice filled with emotion.
"Hope, I, I,"
"Yeah" I said rather harshly.
"I'm in love."
I felt my shoulders droop a bit.
"who's the unlucky girl?" I joked. Though I didn't laugh.
Vicky moved towards me. And I instantly put my hands around my throat. I made the mistake of looking him in the eyes.
They were pure gold. i blanched.
His black hair shoulder length, hung forward slightly. His full lips, parting... My eyes closed with out me saying so.
And I felt lips on mine. Lips that were cold, and full.
Vicky's lips.
a million thoughts raced through my mind. But as i returned the kiss...
Only one stayed.
No.
I pulled away.
"No" I said "We can't, i can't, do this." He look crestfallen. I wanted to kiss him again. But he was a vampire. It couldn't happen.
Then I heard a soft chuckle from behind me. "Batrayio" I said. hate in my voice. "Hope" He said, hate in his voice.
"And Vicky. How lovely! Sorry to interrupt the mini love fest going on here. But I need to take this little, Hope," He spat, "away".
"Never." said Vicky. "what was that lover boy?" "Never!" Vicky roared. And lunged at Batrayio with his wooden pole. I ran. Calling over my shoulder, "I Love You Vicky!" I don't know if he heard me.
I ran as fast as I could, as long as I could. But I was tired, and I could only go so far. After twenty more minutes of just walking, I had to stop
I collapsed onto a stump, and from there, I slid to the ground. I fell into a troubled slumber. Filled with vampires, kisses, and fighting.
Is everything thats happening clear?
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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You need to start a new paragraph when dialogue pops up. Not doing that made it very hard to understand and its supposed to be done that way.
Other than that, though that is a big thing, it was a fairly good story. I've seen some better but I've seen alot more that were worse.
-Andi
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It's good.
Couple of grammer/spelling errors, but aside from that it was good. Could use maybe a little more detail, and should be a little longer, but keep writing, It sounds good. Just watch where you go; make sure it isn't too much like Twilight.
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Thanks Whatever1274, What didd you not get thugh, I'll try to amke it more clear.
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ye too short to be a chapter but OH MY GOD!!!! WRITE MORE!!! i got really stuck in then it was the end. loved it and add more to the site!
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Nice, but......................
It needs a little work, and it's too short for a chapter. You should extend it. There are also misspelling, and punctuation marks are not used correctly--Too many periods where commas should be. Also, if you put two different characters talking in the same paragraph, the reader will get confused because they wouldn't know to distinguish one from the other. You should work more on that and proofread it.But good start anyway.=)
1 - 5 of 5




