“You never did say how you know this cave is a shortcut. How do you know your way around in the caves anyway?” Tommy asked as he watched Mr. Frogg placed some strange food on a flat stone and then placed the stone inside the hot stone oven.1
“By exploring, although my first attempt ended almost as soon as it began.” Mr. Frogg began to explain as he was preparing a delicious meal. “I started into the tunnel at the far end of this cavern of course, but not far into it the tunnel splits like this.” Mr. Frogg said as he held up three fingers and spread them widely. “I continued into the middle one. Not much farther into the cave I began passing caves which led off of the one I was in.” He explained as he glanced at Tommy. “At that point I had become terribly frightened. Even though I could see where I was going, I feared I would become lost in the caves forever. I turned and ran at full speed back to the cavern.” He admitted as he dipped up a small cup of some extremely strange looking grain and poured it into a wooden bowl. “I returned my torch to its holder and dropped onto a large pile of dried grass. I sat there for awhile trembling from here to there.” He said touching the top of his head then pointing at his toes. 2
“Then I remembered how my hands had become covered with extremely dark blue stuff when I was making my holders.” Mr. Frogg said as he poured some golden water into the wooden bowl with the strange looking grain. “That had given me a great idea.” He said as he placed the wooden bowl on top of the stone oven. “I went to one of my wood stacks and picked up a stick that was the size of my wrist. I held one end of it over a torch until it was burning. Then I waved it around and put it out. Next I rubbed the burnt end against the stone wall. I was delighted to see that it left a fat dark mark. Armed with my new tool I went back into the maze of tunnels. When I reached the first place that the cave splits I went to work with the burnt stick.” He said with a smile. “I started with the tunnel on this side.” He said, holding out his left hand. “I marked it with an A. I marked the middle tunnel with a B. The last tunnel I marked with a C. I almost went on and then decided to draw a large pointer, pointing out of each cave, like this.” Mr. Frogg said, making an arrow in the air with his finger. “Then I went forward into the tunnel marked B. Each time I went past another tunnel I marked it. I would put a B, a number and a pointer.” He explained while slowly stirring the food in the bowl. 3
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“I was glad I had waited until I could mark my way. With every new tunnel I explored I became positive I would have become lost.” He said as he carefully slid two long, flat sticks under the stone inside the oven. He skillfully removed the stone and set it on a large flat rock beside the oven. He quickly flipped the food over with a wider flat stick then placed the flat stone back in the stone oven. “The tunnels go in every possible direction just like the branches of the beautiful tree I live in. They often crisscross each other several times before ending nowhere. Sometimes they went in a circle and brought me back to where I started from.” He explained as he placed another type of the strange food on top of the stone oven beside the wooden bowl. “Most were completely safe but some suddenly dropped a very long ways into craters or other caverns. I carefully climbed down and explored some of them. Others were much too deep.” He said, once again glancing at Tommy who was now stretched out on the ground. 5
“I found tunnels leading to places I had never expected. Most of them go deep underground or towards the top of the mountain. There are a couple of caves which go down by the lake. Several went to different places on the far side of the forest.” Mr. Frogg explained, gesturing in different directions. As Mr. Frogg gave his detailed descriptions of the caves, the inviting smells of the extremely strange meal filled the air. The longer the extremely strange foods cooked the stronger the aromas became. Mr. Frogg once again removed the flat stone from the strange stone oven and placed it on the rock. He looked the strange food over closely then gave a slight nod apparently more to himself than to Tommy. Before he could say it was done Scarf ran into the cave sniffing the air. “I told you he would show up soon.” Mr. Frogg said with a smile. “His sniffer works very well.” He added with a laugh. 6
Mr. Frogg divided the food onto three wooden plates. He placed one on the floor, handed one to Tommy and kept the last one for himself. To no surprise, Scarf had finished his plateful of food before Tommy and Mr. Frogg had hardly begun to eat theirs. He begged for more food by whimpering and whining the entire time they ate. He was thrilled when Tommy was unable to eat all of his, because he was allowed to finish it for him, which took no time at all of course. Tommy washed down his meal with a cup of golden water which Mr. Frogg had poured for him. He then stretched out on a soft pile of dried blue grass. He closed his eyes to rest while Mr. Frogg finished his meal. 7
It wasn’t long before Tommy dozed off and was sleeping peacefully. Soon after that he was dreaming. In his dream he was floating through tunnels which were dimly lit by an extremely strange bluish silver glow. He seemed to float first in one direction and then in another. The dream became fuzzy for awhile and when it became clear again he was relaxing beside a wonderful blue lake. Just as an old frog dove into the clear blue water, sending ripples rolling across the calm water, he felt someone lightly shaking him back and forth.8
Adding your comment:
I liked the characters in the story. The problem is you needed to include something exciting happening to the character, otherwise it just seemed like he was rambling on. Your writing is good, but you need to watch out for some of the Grammatical errors. I've included some points for you:
