"Oh Stella, I'm so sorry, sweetheart. It's all my fault." Delta was staring at the chair where Stella always sat. He missed her so much. Just this morning he could have sworn he saw her sitting there....he had even smelled her perfume. He got up and slowly made his way to the coffee pot.
"I told you, you would get us into trouble, if you didn't quit your pursuit."
He jumped at the sound of her voice. "Stella?" he said turning quickly around. He thought he saw her sitting there again, in her favorite old tattered blue robe. He closed his eyes and looked again, she was gone.
"Oh Stella, I know. You warned me. But I was so sure they would come after me, not you, I'm sorry sweetheart."
Delta knew what he had to do. He had to finish what he started.
It didn't matter now, he would pursue Marco and his men until they were all dead, just like his sweet Stella.
They had warned him. He had laughed, asking them just what they would do to him. Jimmy, Marco's second hand man had just laughed back "we aren't going to do anything to You friend." he as said with a smirk.
Delta hadn't know then, just who he was talking to, or to what lengths they would go to stop him. He admonished himself for not seeing it coming. As far as everyone else knew, Stella was on her way home from church choir practice, when she was run off the road, by a mysterious truck that had just "vanished" after the accident. Only Delta knew the real story. Stella had called him on her cell phone, on her way back from the grocery store, she had asked if he was okay. "I'm fine" he had replied, "why do you ask?".
"Well these men at the grocery store said I was to rush home, that you needed me."
"What men? When? Stella, what are you talking about?"
Those were the last words she ever heard.
The next thing Delta heard was Stella screaming, "Oh my God no!"
then the crash of metal crumbling as her car was slammed off the road and rolled thirty feet down the embankment.
The sound played over and over in his mind.
Delta sat now, with his face in his hands the tears streaming.
"I promise Sweetheart, I WILL get them, or die trying."
Author notes
A man named Delta is haunted by his dead wife, who died in what everyone beleives to have been an accidental car crash.
A contest entry
- For budding novelists by Scott Chason.
305 points, ended November 6, 2008, 3 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
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I enjoyed it, and you your hook was intriguing, however, i have two things that i would take your time with.
1. Double space it, it's difficult for me to read because I suck.
2. When using flashbacks, such as the one you used for him when he recalled that phone call, only use the word "had" one time, to lead us into the flashback, then play the rest out as a regular scene. It will add intensity.
3. ( I know i only said two but i just thought of this one) Consider starting new paragraphs in many points. Like after dialogue, and after a short, stinging sentence. Proper spacing helps the flow of the manuscript.
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Revenge. It was a bit typical of the seemingly accident bit that it wasn't and it was someone out to get him. But you bring it fresh cause you have put some scenes in thhis that just pop. Good work on it.
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