Numb

I carefully sat down underneath the beautiful Maple tree that was located behind my dorm building. I just wanted to sit by myself, with no sound of others. I wanted to write about my sorrow. I can't understand why I'm so sorrowful when I have so many good things going for me right now. I'm working towards getting a degree in Social Work, and I'm making friends... but I feel so... numb. Like I can't really feel anything, and when I can feel it's not good feeling. It's just depression. 1

I pull out my laptop and open a blank word document. But I can't write, I don't know what to say. So I start playing some music. The song that makes the most sense right now is definitely "Numb" by Linkin Park.2

The opening of the song grabs me, I start typing away...3

let me drift away4

don't pretend you care5

let my pain drown me6

let me suffocate on this7

I hit a break... I can't think of what else to write, and then the birds start to chirp. Have I mentioned how much I despise birds? To me, they are the worst living creature on the planet, seriously. They always have to put their word in, even when you really could care less. Ugh. I just want that stupid bird to shut up! Doesn't it see that I'm not in the mood to deal with it's stupid song?!8

Grab my wrist and pull me under9

Clutter the mind with dismay10

Never underestimate 11

The power of hate12

This isn't getting me anywhere, every single time I think of something I lose it and end up with something stupid.13

And I don't know how much more of this I can take.14

Writing is supposed to get my mind off from things, but if I can't write how am I supposed to get my mind off these mopey feelings.15

I just can't do it anymore...16

The sun is shining, but I'm surrounded by a dark cloud.17

The birds are chirping, but I'm moping around like a fool.18

I just wanna curl into a ball and die.