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The high-pitched shrill whistle rose in note, dipped, then resumed its former tone. All across the land, within minutes, a symphony of whistles had sounded. Spectators, by the hundreds, trooped home in the persistent drizzle that marked the late afternoon of the 19th March 1955. Some were despondent, others elated. The rain was the sticky type which, whilst seemingly light, clung to the clothing and penetrated slowly to dampen even the hardiest of spirits. It was during this apparently normal Saturday afternoon that an un-noticed but significant event was taking place. The man in the waiting room lit his fourth consecutive cigarette and singularly failed, despite conscious effort, to still the nervous tapping of his left leg. Three rooms down a woman laying in an inelegant manner pushed, under instruction, and bared her teeth with the effort. Slowly a hair-matted small skull appeared from her distended orifice and another Pisces was born to the world. 2
The attending Nurse took the wriggling package to the waiting cart to clean the new-born infant before returning him to his exhausted mother. Noticing the sardonic look on the gorgeous cherubs face she thought to herself, This one will be a heartbreaker and troublemaker, I wonder what his artistic talent will be?.... 3
And so it was that the man who was to become Topaz135, Cobholmblue and other aliases was brought into an unsuspecting world. The child had a zest for life and an impetuous nature that was soon tempered by the taunts of his peers into a self-deprecating and irreverent humour that marked the rest of his life. The second son of a mixed marriage, his brother appearing as Anglo-Saxon as the rest of the community, the child learnt early that the taunts of the young and innocent bit far deeper than the studied insults of later life. This early-rooted cynicism led the highly intelligent child into the realm of fantasy and fiction, one of the few avenues of escape open to him. His, by now volatile, nature and ruggedness had honed his fighting skills to the point where arguments were few and far between. 4
Reaching puberty and teen-hood Topaz135 knew only that he needed to escape the smothering confines of his home town and seek a world where knowledge and skill were valued above petty prejudices and insular attitudes. So it was that he joined the Armed Forces only to discover that here lie a macho world of posturing and bravado masked within the martial arena. Always a loner, he nethertheless navigated these shark-infested waters with some small skill and learnt early the cut-and-thrust sarcasm and speedy verbal riposte that was required for survival and was embedded within a cover of vicious and deadly humour. 5
Life tempered him further with many trials, amongst them a marriage and two children. 6
Ending his career with the Armed Forces he continued in government service as a civilian and it was during this period that he discovered the utility and uniqueness of the newly emerging World Wide Web, later to be renamed as the internet. Throwing himself into this world he surfed with enthusiasm and entered the nebulous world of chat-rooms on MSN. Gaining somewhat of a reputation amongst his fellow chatters he used his experience of group rooms to create a new room and gave a more permanent home to a tribe of like-minded individuals. 7
Throughout all his life he had dabbled with words and rhyme. This was a period when his facility with words could be put to good use. Charming his fellow surfers with ad-hoc limericks and verses he lured them into the new-founded group room and thus ensured a relatively easy transition for them when politics made Microsoft and others withdraw from the free chat room arena. Room meets and personal contacts soon blossomed and (from a cast of thousands) he mercilessly selected his new partner and overwhelmed her with his personality and wit. A tenuous suggestion led him to investigate various poetic on-line outlets and after a brief unfortunate dalliance with Poetry.com he found his current home on AllPoetry. Here his ready wit and cutting commentary style, whilst alienating those more prone to egotistical flaws, earnt him a name amongst the more discerning reader as a harsh-but ¡Vfair honest reviewer. It was here amongst lustrous words of descriptive glory and searing wit and parody that Topaz135 finally matured his laconic style of interaction and found a home from home. Some saw through his hard-bitten style to the heart within and befriended him, others had less depth of vision and ranged themselves, mostly by inaction, against him. After a brief dip in the waters of Allwrite, the AP magazine, personal circumstances forced him to take a less active role amongst his peers. After recovering from a health crisis and settling into a new home Topaz135 started to extend his interaction and joined adopt-a-poet as a worker. Then came the day that a friend suggested the dizzy heights of Moderatorship might be accessible to him (for a consideration¡Kyou know who you are!) and despite his dislike of bribery and corruption and perhaps to change matters for the better, he applied and they were crazy enough to allow him in the door....the rest is yet to be played out..... 8
Salient facts, oddities and quirks et al 9
Despite writing at a high rate, Topaz135 is not a great lover of reading poetry. 10
He prefers stark honesty to lip-service 11
He abhors bad manners, unnecessary profanity and bad English 12
His family jewels are of an even size 13
Humour is forgiven much 14
The most efficient way of stabbing someone in the back and gaining satisfaction is to parody or revile them in verse 15
The most satisfying (and honest) thing to do is never to publish that verse but sit smug in the knowledge that you could have done if only you were as low as they obviously are... 16
I have been to: 17
England (obviously cos I was born there) 18
Scotland 19
Wales 20
France (weekend away ¡V Paris) 21
Belguim 22
Holland (Netherlands) 23
Germany (lived there a while) 24
Switzerland (holiday) 25
Cyprus (lived there a while-twice) 26
Egypt 27
Canada 28
America 29
Falkland Islands 30
Marianas Islands (Guam) - ancestral home 31
Kosovo 32
Bosnia 33
Hawaii 34
Expected additions (this year) 35
Iraq 36
To summarize Topaz135 AKA Cobholmblue is a old crotchety git, live with it! 37
PS I am not a spy (honest) - but we know where you live! 38
Author notes
You were expecting What exactly???
What did you think? Please comment!
Comments
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mesmerizing!! crotchety indeed...you are a darling man that allows us to glimpse into your aoul with your writing...this piece being a crowning glory...an insight into a "genuis" of sorts....I think it is a very rewarding experience to know you through your work and I applaud your honesty and forthrighteousness....
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Haha! Cute!
Hmmm, "bribery" for modhood? Come on, your ego was hooked 
, you slanderous git!
However, I have duly noted the reference (in writing) to: "for a consideration" (terms to be negotiated).. AHAhahahahaha!
~G
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What a wonderfully open piece of writing, I thoroughly enjoyed reading your life
Few people are able to record their lives so dispassionately and with such honesty, yet still provide the reader with the bigger picture. You know yourself well, thank for sharing some of that with us 
Kat xxx
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