Romancing the Stoned

The best night in my life? That’s easy. The only hard part is where to begin.1

Well of course, just like on all occasions on which I have accomplished anything in my life, I was drunk. Horribly drunk. It was a party back in high school, over at Jimmy’s. Jimmy was one of the cool cats, one of the people whose parties qualified stepping stones to coolhood. I was not one of the cool cats, and the only reason I was there was that Jimmy seemed to like me for some reason. Nobody else did though, and I felt incredibly out of place. So I got drunk. Horribly drunk.2

And it was in this state that I saw her, for the thousandth time, yet somehow with new eyes. Laura Riftey, the girl I wrote little poems about in my head. Like every other human being of masculine nature ever to have laid eyes on her, I imagined. She sat alone in an armchair, not alone as in ‘nobody wants to be with me’, but alone as in ‘everyone is too lame for me’. 3

I was sick of her. I was sick of her nesting in my mind like that, without ever having looked at me. I was sick of her being impossible to blame for her terrible beauty. Why couldn’t she be guilty of every appalling crime imaginable like the rest of us? And with those new eyes of mine, I could see that, from one specific angle she was actually pretty ugly. In that instant I wanted to tell her that. I wanted to march right over to her and say, in a casual tone. ‘Hey Laura. I just wanted to say that I think you’re pretty ugly.’ And as the drunken have a way of ignoring the concept of a tomorrow, I decided to do just that. I walked over to where she was sitting, smiled in a manner that I intended to be sarcastic and stated:4

“Hey Laura.”5

“Hey Vincent.”6

“I just wanted to say that I think you’re pretty…”7

She knew my name. The realization cut my little thoughtless insult in half.8

“Oh…” She smiled. “Thank you. You’re not so bad yourself if I may say so.”9

I just stood there, gaping stupidly.10

“You know I always thought you seemed like a great guy,” she continued, “at least since I read that short story of yours about that unhappy man who wanted to kill himself. I mean it was a little extreme, but I’m sure that there are people like that out there, somewhere…”11

“Right…” I couldn’t produce any good reply in my state of shock, but it was alright, because she kept talking.12

“But anyway, it felt honest somehow, truthful, and it got me thinking that you’re probably an honest person too. I’ve wanted to talk to you ever since, but every time I look at you you look away, and I thought maybe you didn’t… like me.”13

“Yeah… I mean, you know… No, yes, no, not…”14

She looked at me, leaning her head in an irresistible way. “You’re so far away, Vincent O’Brien. Maybe that’s what I like about you.”15

~~~16

The worst night in my life? Heartbreakingly easy.17

I was throwing a little party, a good one, but not an exceptional one, as far as anyone but I was concerned. I made my way through the cheery crowd, high-fiving with a drunken and possibly high Mike Larson on the way.18

“You’re the man, Jimmy!” he shouted, and I believed him.19

Tonight I was the man. The man who was about to seize Laura Riftey and never let go. Laura was something truly spectacular. I must confess that even I, the kind of guy who religiously worships mathematics, the kind of guy who reads Financial Times on the school bus, couldn’t help but write little poems about her in my mind. I thought I’d just ask her to go with me for a little walk around the block, and even if she wasn’t madly in love with me from scratch, she would probably agree, and then I could build it up slowly from there. ‘It doesn’t have to be so hard’ I told myself.20

And there she was, sitting all alone in my favourite armchair. I started to advance, but amazingly, so did someone else, and he got to her first. They started to converse, in a repressed, nervous sort of way. Hopefully, it wouldn’t lead anywhere, so I sat down in a sofa with a couple of friends for a while, always keeping a careful eye on Laura. Then she and the guy started moving towards the door. I rose to my feet, so that I casually blocked their path. She was holding the guy’s hand in a firm grip. My heart pumped fiercely as I looked at his face. Then I almost swallowed my tongue in surprise. It was Vincent O’Brien!21

Vincent had started out as a little ‘charity project’. We cool cats do that once in a while. Grab some half-cool kid in the cafeteria and keep him under our wing for a couple of weeks, trying to have him ‘made’. Just to feed our own egos of course. But then I discovered that there was actually a lot more to Vincent than met the eye. He may have been a sad, sad child, but he possessed a sincere and almost brutal honesty, of a variety that is quite uncommon these days. I really liked him for that, and I fought hard to get to know him better. And now he did this to me.22

“Hey Jim!” Laura said as they passed. “We’re taking a little walk around the block. Keep an eye on Mike, will you?” Mike was dancing on top of a nearby coffee table.23

Vincent said nothing. I don’t believe he even saw me. He had no clue what was going on. I could have broken him so easily right there. I could have said: ‘Are you sure? It looks like your friend there has had a little too much to drink. I don’t think he should go anywhere’, and nothing would have happened. Tonight was my night. It was only fair.24

But I stopped my tongue. I did love Laura with all my heart. But Vincent’s heart was three times the size of mine, and if he only loved her with half his heart he deserved her more than I did (as 3x/2 = 1.5x, making the ratio "my love:Vincent's love" x:1.5x, and x<1.5x). Vincent was a poet. I could not begin to imagine the kind of emotion he was capable of. Hence, he logically deserved her more than I did. So instead of saying anything I simply said:25

“Just don’t do anything I wouldn’t have done, Vinnie. But then of course, that’s a pretty short list.”26

Can’t say I enjoyed the rest of the party much.27

Author notes

The "When We were People" Project:
1. The Good Morning
2. Things Jack Will Never Know
3. The Sour Aftertaste of Coffee with Jay
4. True Deceiver
5. Romancing the Stoned

About how the greatest sacrifices tend to go unnoticed.

In a list

A contest entry

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    : Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have 0. (?) (Line numbers)
    Ratings:

Comments

1 - 19 of 19

  • Noisome.
    December 31, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I really like this, a lot.
    The shift in narrators lost me for a moment until I read that she was walking out with Vincent. My mind did a bit of a double-take, but once I regained my understanding, this was even better. I love the descriptions you use and the math towards the end. You seem to have a unique way of phrasing everything and a good sense of euphemisms and innuendos, somewhat. I really enjoyed reading this. It had a good rhythm, feeling, flow and overall use of language, oh, and did I mention I like the plot? Simple, but not simply one evening. I really enjoyed this. Thanks so much for entering it, good luck, and sorry it's taken me so long to comment. (:
    -Sarah.


  • wolf-storm
    December 15, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    good story thanks for entering it into the contest.


  • Living.Disaster
    December 14, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Nice,This is a Good Story

    Good Luck In The Contest


  • KaitieTheCheeto
    November 30, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    as 3x/2 = 1.5x, making the ratio "my love:Vincent's love" x:1.5x, and x<1.5x
    Huh? lol
    Besides that (I didn't get it, but maybe I'm just stupid.), this was a great read, just the type of read I was looking for when I created this contest.
    Thank ya for entering and good luck!!!


    • GodBlessCatastrophe
      November 30, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      You're not supposed to get it! You're only supposed to be dazzled by the fact that Jimmy uses algebra to explain love. So you didn't get that you shouldn't get it, you get it?
      And you're not stupid, you're just very special.
      Thanks for reading!


  • On.Cue
    November 30, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I don't like the drunk aspects of this...or the short confusion I had about the second part.

    Nevertheless, it was creative, unique, and cute. I particularly love P.25 and downward. =)

    Good job in describing what is going on in the setting, not just with the characters.

    • GodBlessCatastrophe
      November 30, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Yeah, well, I'm not exactly famous for making my stories politically or morally correct, I want to write about the world as it is, and not like it should be, if you know what I mean. I believe under-age drinking is a little more common here in Sweden than in the US (But on the upside, abuse of other drugs among teenagers is next to zero), and I think that might mean that my experiences differ from yours.

      Myself, I enjoy getting a little confused reading a story, as long as I get it once I get to the last line. But if you didn't like it, maybe I'll have to rethink.

      Glad you liked the ending, since a few people didn't. Thanks a lot!

      • On.Cue
        November 30, 2008
        Edit | Reply
        I just don't like the drinking/drug scene, mainly because it landed my best friend in the hospital, which he is still in.


  • SisterSabbay
    November 25, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Confidence Empowered

    Laura Riftey, a charming lady, admired by Vincent. The Moral of this story, never close a door until you open it and walk through it. Experience is like a fresh breath of air on a cool misty mountainside; longing for a sense of accomplishment. Laura and Vincent were one in Spirit yet they did not connect, until Vincent allowed himself to take that risk that most miscalculate. More often, one underestimates their likeability: Vincent you ROCK tell someone and EMPOWER yourself. Confidence found under a pillow of luck next to a tooth left for a dollar, paving the ground work to my dream; upward to the next challenge, like an eagle with outstretched wings. Superb Ideas, I would suggest that you try to remove some of the "I"'s.

    Sabbay

    plot: 5.


  • Valkyrie silver member
    November 7, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    It's beautiful. Movie-like, even. I totally saw the characters, the setting, felt their emotions. I loved the depth you put into both male characters. I was so expecting one thing when Vincent decided to approach Laura, and it went a total other direction. Brownie points for surprising me.
    I loved the bittersweet end too. Good stuff!
    In p3, to lame s/b too lame

    • GodBlessCatastrophe
      November 7, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks, movie-like is definitely one of the Top 5 adjectives I'd like my stories to be described as. And I changed the spelling error, good thing you pointed it out!


  • iPoopAThug
    November 7, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Aww, I loved this. Its cute and shows different point of views. Its funny though cause I know what its like to draw a half cool kid in, and to be the half cool kid. I liked how the girl liked him already but didn't think he liked her. Its funny how everyone who likes each other always thinks they don't like each other because they think they are seeing things that aren't there. Anyway I'm rambling it was great.


  • Atticus Unanimous
    November 2, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    For a second I was confused about the second part but I figured it out.
    It's late and I'm a bit out of it. Anywho, I loved this. And I really don't know why. Maybe it's because the drunk underdog wins or perhaps it's because said drunk underdog is a lot like me: desperate to have some kind of reason despise a love interest and failing miserably at doing so while also remembering that the love interest is also the subject matter of many poems. Either way you've done really well with no glaring mistakes in mechanics or anything like that. Wonderful job. I'd also like to add that this will be put in my finalists list.

    • GodBlessCatastrophe
      November 3, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Oh, thanks!
      I'm very happy that you saw yourself in my character, especially since I modelled him at least partially after myself. Feels like proof I'm doing something right.
      As for the second part, I must admit that after reading the story again, I can see that you are right: it's too messy. I'll have to revise it somehow. Thanks for the feedback, not to mention the place in the finals!


  • MorbidGarden
    October 29, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    She sat alone in an armchair, not alone as in ‘nobody wants to be with me’, but alone as in ‘everyone is to lame for me’

    this was a great line...

    but i didn't like the ending...the guy should have fought harder if he really loved her...who can measure love? if he wanted her, he should have tried harder...

    but i like it that the "half-cool" guy got the gal...THAT was classic!

    • GodBlessCatastrophe
      October 29, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks for the kind words.
      As for your critique, I reply, in a vey mature way: You're wrong! Actually this story is mildly autobiographical, I was actually something of a "Jimmy" once. Sometimes you do feel that it's time for you to step aside. Also, Jimmy is supposed to a "perfect buddy" character, it will be an important plot device later in the story.

1 - 19 of 19