The land where the bad witch lives

'What a boring morning', said Lucy. She had just woke up to a very boring morning. 'Nothing to do, nothing to say' she said to herself. Then suddenly, from her bedroom, came her younger sister. Her younger sister was called Amelia she had long, golden hair which Lucy became jealous of. She also had a face filled with freckles and chubby little cheeks.1

'Now what?' Said Lucy, a bit annoyed of Amelia bursting into her bedroom door. 'I heard about a secret door and that you have to open it with the seven jewels'. 'No one dares to go inside, do you want to?' Said Amelia in a cheeky voice. 'How do you know?' Asked Lucy. 'I went out of the garden and heard people saying things like that'. said Amelia.2

Lucy was angry and had the tempt to tell on Amelia because she wasn't supposed to go out of the garden. But then, Amelia would cry and her mum would scold at her.3

Still, it was boring so Lucy just asked Amelia to show her about the things she had just said. They crept out of the gate and heard somebody say to a boy 'the door will be opened by the seven jewels, here are the location of all seven'. 'See' said Amelia proving it was right. Just then, when the man was about to hand the sheet to the boy, a gust of wind blew the sheet of paper out of his hands.4

The man rushed to pick it up but it already was swept away by the wind. When the man went away muttering to himself, Lucy found out that the sheet of paper wasn't far away and grabbed it. Then she stuffed it in her pocket. Amelia said proudly again, 'am I right?' Lucy gave up and said 'yes'. 5

Then Lucy looked at her watch and realized it was already eight. Luckily it was Saturday so that meant they didn't need to go to school. They hurried home for breakfast and gulped it down quickly. It wasn't their favourites, they didn't especially like ham and egg sandwiches.6

Mum asked to Amelia, 'why are you eating so fast?' Amelia replied I'm, hungry mum. Lucy then asked, 'can we play in the garden?' Their mum said yes so of they ran. The sheet of paper was in Lucy's pocket, she uncrumpled it and ran off to the garden.7

The sheet of paper said : the red jewel is in a hot place. They thought and then they asked themselves, what is the hottest place here? They looked in the fireplace and found a red rock. When you touch the red rock, you will feel that the stone is actually hot. It becomes hot, very hot until you can't bear the heat anymore and put it in your pocket. 8

The fireplace wasn't lit since it was summer so they easily got it. Nest it said : the blue crystal is in a wet place. They ran to their mini swimming pool and grabbed it out, the water was shallow enough to do that.9

They did this and found every Jewel. They then went of to eat lunch. At the night, Amelia woke Lucy up. 'We're going to go through the door, aren't we?' Asked Amelia.10

Lucy nearly forgot but then all of a sudden, she remembered. She got all of the jewels and found the door, they searched and searched and they finally found it.11

Amelia and Lucy pushed all the jewels and found themselves in a wonderful land, tall oak trees were scattered everywhere, also a few fruit trees and brightly coloured flowers reaching their heads to the sun. There was a tiny stream, their aqua blue waters glistening in the bright sunlight. A path was just seen, as if leading them forwards, and there stood a magnificent palace. The tall turrets were gleaming, maybe made of gold, and rolling hills surrounded it, making the palace stand out. It was just so beautiful, they couldn't resit to go inside so they went inside. Suddenly, the sky turned black. Thunder boomed and lightning flashed.12

'What's happening?' Asked Amelia in a scared and frightened voice. Lucy didn't answer, as she didn't know either. Lucy was curios and told Amelia 'let's look outside and see what's happening ourselves'. They went over to the window, and found out that the river turned black and all the plant's leaves drooped and some were even dead.13

Amelia and Lucy looked at the dark corridors, a light was hanging from the ceiling but it seemed that all the lights were out so they could barely see anything at all. Lucy led through the corridor. She could just pick out the shape of a women, as quick as a flash, Lucy and Amelia were sucked in.14

'Where are we?' They both asked. When they looked out, and they saw a women. She was tall and thin, her eyes were looking at them fiercely. She had a cold look on her face, the whole features of her body didn't make Lucy and Amelia think she was a good person.15

'Why have you entered my palace?' She said in a angry voice, she didn't wait for the two girls to answer. 'You shouldn't have, because I'm the witch of this castle'. Lucy thought that she looked like a normal stern woman, not at all like a witch. 'You shall have the punishment to be like them'. 'Who's that?' Lucy asked without realizing it. The woman pointed to the man and boy she just had met. 'But what's so special?' In a scared voice since she did not know that woman.16

'I have made them my servants, and they also are evil like me now'. The witch had said that because she knew that they would turn evil. I will turn you evil tomorrow, now just go to sleep, I have plans to make'.17

Amelia yawned, and after that automatically, there was a bed. Lucy realized something was wrong, they couldn't see the landscape, when she looked around she could only see white surrounding her and the bed. She woke Amelia up, 'Amelia, wake up' she cried. And she did 'why are you waking me up? This bed is so comfortable.'18

'But look around, do you see anything apart from me and the bed?' Lucy asked. 'Oh yeah, no'. 'And also we'll turn evil so let's try and stop this from happening.'19

They sprung into action and heard voices as they moved. It sounded familiar to the bad witch's voice. 'I'll give them food and then the girls will turn bad', she said.20

They could only hear her but not see her. They quickly ran back and climbed into the bed. The next morning, the witch said 'breakfast time, you must be hungry'.21

But Amelia and Lucy pretended to eat it but they just spit it out. 'Oh no, my magic didn't work' Said the witch and she died. There was a bright flash and then they were back in their safe, cosy home. 'Look, the time had stopped, it's still 1 '0 clock in the morning. Said Lucy, yawning. And with that, Lucy and Amelia climbed into their beds and slept.

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Comments

1 - 13 of 13

  • Host
    January 26

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    Great

    Your a good writer specaily at age nine. My sister likes your storys as well. She ten, she dosen't have a SW because she dosen't like to write, but she loves to read. Any way
    i like your character Amelia and lucy, you kept my interest through the hole story. It also flowed nicely.

    Host


  • patrickhschan
    November 7, 2008

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    what scert door is it tell me all about it?
    it is long story about it but i hopele can read it fast
    the setting was what tell me what was this 1'0
    you was good but you need a little more response


  • ArtificialSweetener
    November 6, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    No fair! I wish I could write this well when I was nine! And thanks for commenting on my First Day Of School thing. Glad you liked it! I'm 11 and I'm in year 7, so your in year 4? Or year 5? Anyway, good luck with your stories!

    Sweet x


  • Rebecca Angel
    November 2, 2008

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    Wow

    your storytelling talent is very good! It's almost hard to believe that you are 9 years old, your language is so good^^
    Thank you for your comment on my story, and you are right about the 'I' of course, I am just being lazy^^
    The reason why i didn't explain everything in the story is because it was just a dream i had. And dreams don't really make sense, do they? So i never really wondered why the ferret was there, but maybe i should? And maybe that's another story?

    beginning: 3, language: 3, plot: 4, ending: 2, dialog: 3, characters: 5.

    • angelaononchan
      November 3, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks for reading my stories, oh well, you can always change a part of your dream, or add on to it. Like I did one story based on my dream but only one section was my dream.

  • angelaononchan
    October 30, 2008
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    Much organised story than the previous one. However, need to check the spelling. And the story ending is too simple. Suggest to explain further why the witch will die so easy.


  • patrickhschan
    October 30, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Good story I love it
    Keep doing this
    I am going to see your story

    beginning: 5, ending: 5, characters: 5.


  • Firestar-
    October 27, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    I love this! Continue!

1 - 13 of 13