Help!

I'm standing here, looking out the window,1

and I see this girl I used to know.2

Somthing is screaming in my head,3

don't make that mistake again!4

ohhhhhhhhhh...ohh..hooo..ohhh.hooo5

..................................................................6

Chorus: 7

It has to be a dream!8

I just wanna scream!9

Please help meeeeee,10

to understand.11

PLEASE!12

I need to know, why it's happening,13

to me?14

................................................................15

I'm sitting here, starring at the tv,16

and I see this guy that looks like me.17

The news lady said,18

that he was shot in the head!19

And the shooter, is still at large!20

ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...hooooooooooo21

...............................................................22

Chorus:23

...............................................................24

Of all the people,25

in the world!26

Why did it have to be,27

me?????28

It has to be a dream! 29

I just wanna scream!30

I need to know,31

why she shot me?32

ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh..........hooooooooo33

Why...........Why me?

A contest entry

please tell me its good. Please?

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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    Ratings:

Comments

1 - 11 of 11

  • Dual.Of.Fireflies
    August 9
    Edit | Reply
    Wow. This was a really good song. I try to write songs but they end up like . This was really good. Keep on writing!


  • lunarserenityrose
    April 13
    Edit | Reply
    Whoa! You totally don't have a clue to what's going to be in the end of the song. At first, the reader thinks that some old girlfriend has popped back into your life and that, although your head tells you to stay away, your heart says otherwise. Nice job on the shocking end to the song.


  • GossipGirlLuvR
    April 9
    Edit | Reply
    Wow. This is so cool. I really like it. Great job. I wish you the best of luck in my contest.


  • His.Golden.Eyes
    April 7

    Edit | Reply
    So cool! While reading it, I pictured it with some rock music(not the yelling kind...the kind like Spiderwebs-No Doubt). I bet you're gonna get this made into a real song someday. And when you do, i want a copy.


  • Yoko
    November 2, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Wow!!! I like it. I can imagine the words run smoothly with some music. Lol. I see this song run well with piano or guitar. It's realy good. The ending was realy sad.

    why she shot me?32

    ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh..........hooooooooo33

    Why...........Why me?

    Sooo saaaad. I think my favorite part to this, though, is the chorus. I loooooove this. Keep up the good job! Hehe, mew!


  • MsAlee gold member
    November 2, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    A bit short but really really good. Hope to see more from you.

  • TheDecree
    November 1, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Love the lyrics, it sounds like a real song, it should be a little longer though but besides that pretty good


  • Dassy
    October 27, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    lol it was good. it could have been longer, but I would love to hear this song one day in the future. Great job and good luck with the contest!


  • WritersEffigy gold member
    October 27, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I like the lyrics, and think that it could do with being a bit longer.

    I would like to hear it someday.


  • Go Go Inaro-Lily
    October 27, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    It's good... and.. interesting. You have a taste for this stuff don't you? X3 My brother is having a stress coshe doesn't have a 2nd control for 360, so he won't buy it.. he really wants to..

1 - 11 of 11