Living in a Dying City

The city is dead and the only person who knew it was stalking her first lesbian. All that she had ever known or wanted disappeared when she was a child and nothing within the city borders seemed to matter. Life did move on and she did learn to mask the sickness inside, but nothing truly brought the city alive anymore.1

New York City droned around her as she followed closely behind her mark. This mark was barely 15 in looks but was 40 in soul. The fact that she was a follower of the body of woman seemed to only mature her spirit and affect those around her all the more strongly. She, the pursuer, was insanely drawn to this energy and had temporarily escaped reality in her pursuit.2

“What the hell are we doing in the city still?”3

A tall, blonde girl, petite and dressed head to toe in pink, stared accusingly off into the distance, having said her words and uninterested in any kind of response. She, the friend, could only nod and reply, “I’m looking for Mr. Lavida.”4

“Well, I could give two shits about this Mr. Lavida. Hurry the fuck up so we can get to Coney Island, Amy.”5

“Fine, fine. But I still want to look for Mr. Lavida.”6

“Like, whatever. Let’s just go so we can get back. Bobby’s supposed to pick me up later at the sorority.”7

Amy glanced away, bored by the simple-mindedness of her friend. Despite all that had happened to her in her life, she was glad that being stupid wasn’t one of them.8

The mark had disappeared during this brain-dead chat, gone in the crowd that lifelessly tried to restore vitality in the veins of the decaying city. Amy, trapped in reality, hardly noticed as she and her sorority sister disappeared themselves into the tunneled bowels, still run by subway.
*~-~*9

Coney Island was packed beyond all belief. Children screamed to go on one more ride or play one more game or have one cotton candy. Parents muttered silently about the belated benefits of abstinence. Vendors shouted out their wares, promising peace and happiness to those who chose to buy from them, while simply creating chaos amongst the families who walked past.10

And yet the city was still dead.11

Amy walked slowly behind her sorority sister, unaware of the life surrounding her, only conscious to the pain and disappointment that subtly poisoned the air breathed into her lungs.12

She continued to walk, past the food and excitement, barely hearing her sisters’ screams when they met at the dunking booth they had set up as a fundraiser. Nothing said, “We want to help our community,” more than dunking a blonde, beautiful and drunk college girl into a vat of ice cold water. 13

Amy walked away from this trivial sight, questioning her sanity for joining a sorority, wondering if she had the strength to tell her mother that a sorority wasn’t for her. However, she knew the answer was the same for both questions, so she kept silent and politely clapped whenever someone threw a good throw and knocked a white t-shirted girl into the water. 14

Much too soon, Amy’s turn came to step into the booth and she silently went along, just like she had all her life. Her body tensed as she slipped her feet into the freezing water, but still she kept her silence. The jeers that some of the sorority girls’ boyfriends called out made her blush from shame and self-pity, but still her voice did not call out. In silence she waited for whatever would happen.15

A couple of boys tried to knock her down, but due to good luck and alcohol, none made it even close to the bulls-eye. The water warmed up and the sun out-shone the color on her face and Amy waited with a sense of hope that only a warm, sunny day can bring.16

“Dad, hey, Dad, There’s a dunking booth!”17

“So there is. Do you wanna go for it?”18

Amy stared in horror into the eyes of her lesbian mark, unaware of the alarm she raised in the stupid sorority girl stuck on a bench above freezing water. 19

“I don’t know, Dad. Why don’t you try to knock her down?”20

“Alright, I will.”21

On that day, the city came back to life in a state of absolute chaos. Anarchy roamed the streets and bombs fell from the sky and destroyed precious landmarks. All because of Joseph Lavida.22

Joseph Lavida had grown older in the ten years that Amy had spent apart from him, but time was not enough to heal the wounds left in her core. His eyes still sparkled with malevolence that a child could easily mistake as friendliness; his smile was just as warm and big as before, but now Amy could sense the evil words waiting to be set free from their dental bars. And he was the one who caused the city to burn in the first place.23

“Hey, Dad, What’s the matter?”24

“I don’t know. That girl keeps looking at me.”25

“Maybe she’s into older men with big wallets? She is a sorority girl.”26

“If only I could be so fortunate as to have a sorority girl for a daughter.”27

“Dad, shut up already! I’m not joining a fucking sorority. Jesus Christ, give me the damn ball.”28

Amy watched as the lesbian paid for her three balls and waited. The silence seemed to draw the warmth from her, for her insides felt frozen and her mind was iced over from overload. She could no longer feel the sun; only the iciness from the water seemed to register through her shocked pain. The lesbian took her first throw and barely missed.29

Suddenly, panic was replaced by anger and her mind broke free of its chains, frozen and embedded into her soul by years of being smothered by her own fear and pain.30

“Excuse me, aren’t you in my English Literature class?”31

“Yea, what about it?”32

“Well, I don’t think we’ve met. My name is Amy.”33

“That’s nice, Amy. You’re still a fucking sorority whore.”34

With that, the lesbian took another throw and missed again. However, Amy barely noticed and called out, “Is your last name Lavida?”35

“Yea, so what?”36

“Well, I remember your father. He used to be my neighbor.”37

“Really? Hey, Dad, do you remember her?”38

“Yes, Mr. Lavida. Remember, I was your neighbor in ’98? I used to call you Mr. Quackers because you made the best duck noises.”39

“No, I’m sorry, but I don’t think we’ve met”40

“You don’t remember how my mom would let you babysit me when she had to work late at the hospital and you would tuck me in with you?”41

“What the hell is she saying, Dad?”42

“I don’t know, but we’re leaving.”43

Amy couldn’t let him go though. She had to tell him what happened to her because of him. She had to tell him how her life decayed into ashes of her dreams and what she could have become. He took away any chance of her being a good person who could stand up for what she wanted and needed and believed in, and left her strength as a leaf that’s battered by the pitiless wind. She needed to bring life to the city. 44

“Don’t go, Mr. Lavida. Don’t you want to tell your daughter about our slumber parties? The cupcakes that we baked and that I fed to you because I was never a good girl and didn’t deserve one? How about the time you told me that, if we crossed our pinkies and promised to be together forever, that that made us married? How about when you told me that I had to be a good wife and do whatever you told me to do, no matter how much I cried or asked you not to? Did you ever tell her any of that, Joseph?”45

“Oh, God. You’re Amy? You can’t be. You can’t be her.”46

“Of course, I’m not, Joseph. The Amy that you knew died long ago, along with the rest of the city.”47

“Dad, none of that’s true right? Oh, God, dad, don’t cry. Stop it Dad, stop yelling. You didn’t do it, how could you do that to another little girl. You told me that I was your special girl.”48

Joseph was too involved in his weeping to see the pain spreading across his daughter’s face, her hand clenching tightly around her last ball, her voice laced in venom as she screamed at Amy, “YOU BITCH, YOU RUINED MY FAMILY! YOU FUCKING LYING WHORE!”49

With that, the lesbian, the abused child, the infant who had her own city of dreams burnt to the ground, threw her last ball directly at Amy’s head. Amy simply closed her eyes and waited for the end. She waited for the city to drown.50

The end never came, though. The ball missed again, going wild and hitting the safety net. No noise could be heard except for Joseph’s uncontrollable crying, the lesbian’s angry screams, and Amy softly whispering, “Maybe the city isn’t so dead after all.”51