Ghost Buster Dream 3

Sometimes it's small things, they hide car keys or disappear important letters, loosen door knob screws or jam keyholes.  They like to mess with keys and doors especially.  Symbolic I guess.  Also car engines, TVs, stereos, mechanical things.  More rarely they've been known to sabotage bigger things: elevators, airplanes, ski lifts, trains, even natural structures like cliff faces, boulders, trees, river damns; whatever pops into their soulless heads to use as a means to reek havoc on humankind.  They can be clever too, masking their misdeeds as natural disasters or simple (living) human error.  Most of the time though, they want their presence to be known; they want to be felt and feared.  Their egotism works in my favor.  It makes them that much easier to find.1

For all the good that does.  Beings that can't feel pain can't be properly punished.  And they should be punished for their crimes.  If they're gonna force themselves like a plague of locusts on the land of the living they should at least have the decency to do so with a conscience.  After all, what have we ever done to them?  But I digress.  The only conclusion I can come to is that there is no earthly reason for their malice or their madness, and it's not my job to understand it even if there is.  It's my job to keep the breathing safe and unaware of the dead and deadly danger afflicting them.2

Jelly is a perfect example.  She died rather young and no doubt unnaturally, which according to the "experts" is what makes her so angry.  Just last week I caught her tinkering with a blue car in a parking lot.  I managed to stop her before she drained the brake fluid but I couldn't catch her because my "partner" was too busy reading some dumb diary we found in a haunted house to bother refilling my blaster.3

The last time I brought Jelly in she confessed to causing at least a dozen car "accidents" resulting in four deaths and several serious injuries.  But was she punished?  Was she sentenced to the undead prison?  No.  Because there isn't one.  Yet.  Someday I'll be up for promotion and then I'll have the administrative power to make some serious changes in The Complex's way of doing things.  I can't believe how much time is wasted questioning and researching these demons' motivations; our resources could be much better spent developing and perfecting the technology we need to capture and contain them and keep them from hurting anymore innocent people.4

The white coats think the key to eliminating the problem is understanding the causes of a spirit's discontent and offering rehabilitative therapy so they won't want to hurt and scare people.  What a load.  If that doesn't even work for normal, living people who are capable of rational thought and remorse, then how the hell do they expect that to fix the behavior of senselessly violent creatures who aren't even supposed to exist in the first place?  Ludicrous!  Insane!  The white coats are almost as bad as the ghosts themselves because they at least should know better.  They should know what's most important here.  Keeping the living alive so they're not added to the ranks of soulless freaks determined to take over the world!5