TTEOTB -- Ch. 8

Chapter 81

I went into the bathroom and opened the medicine cabinet. Looking up at the clock I read 10:30 p.m. Slowly, I pulled out the tweezers and laid them on the counter top. Then I opened my box of disposable razors and pulled out a package, opened it, threw out the package and set the head of the razor on the counter next to the tweezers. I ran quickly out of the bathroom to the closet at the end of the hall next to my bedroom and pulled out an old brown towel. It’d be harder to see the stains.2

The walk back down the hall seemed longer than I remember. I turned right into the bathroom and picked up the tweezers and razor head shakily. I was a little nervous. I plucked out the tiny blades one at a time until three were sitting side by side on the counter. 3

I picked one up with the thumb and index finger of my right hand and held my left arm face up. My eyes slid closed and bit down on my lower lip and let then let the blade kiss my skin. I gasped. It stung. I felt the blood slide down my wrist from a little below my elbow. I smiled; satisfaction at last. 4

A few cuts later I had my arm wrapped up in the brown towel. My heart was soaring with a pleasure I didn’t know existed. I understand you, Arianna. 5

“You coward! Cutting yourself? The loser’s way out. You and all of your loser friends.” He sneered. 6

“Shut up.” I told him, looking at the new additions to my left arm. 7

“It was only a matter of time before you became one of those damned emo kids.”8

“Emo kids? Excuse me, emo is not a stereotype, it’s a fucking genre of music so shut the fuck up.” I snapped, narrowing my eyes at him. 9

“Lowlife dirt bag.” He crowed, disappearing. 10

I let his words go through one ear and out the other. I cleaned up my mess and threw the towel under my bed.11

I went to sleep that night ready to face whatever came at me, I’d found the cure to life. 12

* * * *13

My alarm clock blared what seemed like way too early that morning. My newly scarred arm was throbbing, I’d slept on it. Damnit. I turned off my alarm clock, flew out bed and got ready for school. I was thankful for the chilly December weather; I wouldn’t have to explain my long sleeves. 14

I went to wait at the bus stop but when I got there I saw Donnie’s car parked where the bus should be. 15

“Hey, Anika!” Arianna poked her head out of the passenger seat window. “Want a ride?” 16

“Sure.” I said, sliding into the backseat. 17

“Hi, Anika, how are you?” Donnie asked, smiling at me through the rear view mirror. 18

“Um, I’m good.” I responded, avoiding eye contact. I was starting to get bad vibes from him. “How are you?” 19

“I’m fine, thanks.” He said, gripping the steering wheel hard. 20

We arrived at school a few minutes later. Donnie pulled in to his spot in the school. I got out of the car and stood by the door waiting for Arianna. I saw Donnie grab her arm when she went to get out. 21

She rolled down the window, “Go ahead, I’ll catch up.” 22

I walked over to lean against the left wall of the school near the student parking lot. I watched the traffic pass on the street in front of the school until my curiosity got the best of me. I turned to look towards Donnie’s car. He looked so enraged and I wondered what had set him off. I started to turn away again, feeling that watching was just as bad as eavesdropping. Before I could face the street again I watched as Donnie slapped Arianna across the face and then her cringe back against the passenger door.23

I turned away quick to face the street again feeling as if I’d just witnessed a murder. I heard a car door open and then Donnie yell, “Fuck you,” slamming the door shut. He walked right on past me, around the corner to where the entrance into school was. I turned back to look at Arianna still sitting in the car. She was drying her tears as quick as she could and then pulling what looked like make up out of her backpack. She pulled out a mirror and reapplied everything one-handed. 24

It looked like she’d just about finished when I finally walked over to the car but it didn’t seem like she noticed I was standing right there. I tapped on the window and she jerked in her seat; I’d obviously scared her. She seemed to relax when she saw that it was only me. Her hands fumbled shakily as she put everything back into her bag. She opened the door, locked the car, and then shut it. 25

She was looking down at her feet when I asked, “Are you okay?” 26

“Yeah, what are you talking about? I’m fine.” She faked a smile. 27

“You’re fine? I saw what happened, Arianna.” I told her straight out hoping she’d tell me what was going on. 28

She stumbled a little bit but recovered quickly, “It was nothing,” She smiled again, “He loves me.” 29

“That was not noth—” 30

“Drop it.” She cut me off. 31

I couldn’t concentrate on any of my classes that day. I never expected to see that. I mean, I did get bad vibes from Donnie, but I didn’t know that they meant he was an abusive sack of shit. Why did he hit her anyways? Probably no reason at all. And why wouldn’t Arianna admit it to me? What I’d seen was not love. 32

“Anika!” I heard a voice yell my name and they sounded quite annoyed. “Quit daydreaming please and concentrate.” 33

Mr. Harris was staring at me, not looking too pleased at all. Apparently he’d asked me a question. 34

“I’m sorry, Mr. Harris, could you please repeat the question?” I tried to sound as contrite as possible. 35

“What is the difference between site and situation?” He repeated. 36

“Uh, umm…” Everyone’s eyes were on me and I became nervous. 37

A boy raised his hand to answer but the bell rang for lunch and everyone scattered out before Mr. Harrison could call on him. 38

I stayed quiet at lunch which the others chatted away about what now seemed like meaningless things. The dark secret I held inside me now was begging to be told, for Arianna’s sake, but I couldn't. She would never forgive me for it and those three months of friendship would be as good as gone.39

Arianna sat there though, laughing and chatting away with everyone else; going on with her life as if it were something perfect and wonderful. I had to admit, she put on an astonishing show. 40

Lunch took forever to end and the rest of my day wasn’t so quick to pass either. 41

* * * *42

As soon as I got in the house I kicked off my shoes, ran up to my room [not even checking to see if my dad’s home because he’s never not home, lazy son of a bee], dropped my bag and called Arianna. I had to know what was going on. 43

“Hel—” 44

“Arianna! Hi, it’s Anika. Wanna come over?” I said more rapidly than I meant to. 45

“I can’t… Sorry.” She sounded annoyed. 46

“Come on, just a few minutes? You have to tell me what’s going on with Donnie. I can tell—” I heard the other line go dead. 47

“FUCK!” I yelled, my voice ringing and bouncing off the bare walls. 48

She was NOT getting away that easy. I rushed out of the house again after grabbing my keys and wallet. 49

“You are so nosey, what do you think you’re doing?” 50

I sighed, “Saving a life.” 51

“Butting into things that aren’t your business is more like it.”52

“How about you butt out of my business.”53

We conversed on my way to the car. 54

“She’s going to hate you for meddling…”55

“I’m going to hate me if I don’t at least try to help.”56

“You need to learn to mind your own business. How many times must we go over this?”57

“I don’t know but I wish you’d fucking stop it.” I told him, backing out of the driveway. 58

I arrived at Arianna’s house in what seemed like two seconds since I could of easily ran the 5 minutes; the only other car in the driveway was Donnie’s. I stepped out of my car to the sounds of a very pissed off Donnie and a very helpless damsel in distress. 59