TTEOTB -- Ch. 7

Chapter 71

Dad was already passed out by the time I got home. I guess that meant I didn’t have to make dinner tonight. 2

I headed upstairs, got ready for bed and laid down. 3

“So, did you have a nice day?”4

“Yeah, I figured out how to get rid of you.” I told him assertively. 5

“No, my dear, you haven’t. I’ve just kindly given you the day off. I’m always here, I’ll always be here.” He whispered, words dripping with venom. “There’s only one way to be rid of me…” He laughed as if what he’d just said was a hilarious joke. I didn’t see the funniness in it at all. He left me after that and I fell into a deep well deserved slumber. 6

I awoke this morning not depressed but with a new confidence that I’d been searching for, for a long time. I was proud that I’d found it myself [Okay, I hadn’t found it on my own completely, I guess in a way Arianna did help me] and I walked into school Monday morning feeling like a brand new person. 7

I found everyone standing together near commons A. 8

“Anika!” They all shouted, waving me over. 9

They were all standing around except Donnie. He was rather close to Arianna with his arm tight around her waist. 10

“Babe, that shirt’s a little tight… Don’t you think?” He asked Arianna, everyone else wasn’t really paying attention, but I was. 11

She looked away, “Yeah.”12

Psh, why was it any of his business what she wore? They’re together, not married. 13

“I think the shirt looks great on her.” I say. 14

Donnie smiles at me, Arianna still stares at her feet. 15

“Thanks.” She murmurs. 16

The five minute bell finally rang and everyone scattered off together towards class. 17

I stood waiting for Arianna but I saw that Donnie wasn’t giving in. Arianna gave me a look that said, “Go, I’ll catch up.” I walked slowly so that she could catch up if she wanted to.18

“Don’t EVER wear that shirt again. Do I make myself clear?” I heard Donnie whisper rather loudly at Arianna, not looking all that thrilled. 19

“Crystal.” She replied.20

“Are you getting smart with me?” 21

She whimpered, I guessed he’d squeezed her tighter.22

“No. I understand.” She told him.23

“Good. I’ll see you at lunch.” He said, kissing her on the cheek goodbye. 24

She caught up with me quick enough. I looked at her, she smiled but again her eyes were sad. 25

“You don’t have to listen to him.” I tell her.26

She nodded. 27

We reached my class first which was closest to the top of the stairs. She hugged me and when she pulled back was careful not to meet my eyes. 28

“See you later.” I said, heading into class. 29

I never thought I’d see her so sad. I thought that it was impossible but I guess not. Expect the unexpected, right? 30

* * * *31

“Hello?” Arianna answered her phone after the third ring.32

“Hey, do you wanna come over and do Steinbach’s homework together?” I asked her. I was hoping she’d say yes, I know it’s bad but I’m so nosy. I wanted to know what her scars were about and about Donnie too. 33

“Yeah, sure sounds good.” She sounded distracted or like she’d been busy. “I’ll be over in a few minutes.” She said, hanging up the phone quickly. 34

“She doesn’t really want to come over. She didn’t even want to talk to you! Did you see how fast she hurried off?!” He laughed in my ear.35

“Shut up and get out of my kitchen.” I just ran downstairs to make some macaroni and cheese for me and Arianna if she wanted any because I wasn’t going to eat all of it myself. 36

Arianna arrived just as the macaroni was finished. I ran down the short hall way to answer the door after shutting off the stove. 37

“Hey, kid, what’s up?” I said as she stepped in onto the rug and kicked her shoes off. I don’t like shoes in the house. 38

“Uh, not too much, you?” She said, pulling the sleeves down on her thin hoodie. 39

“Just made some macaroni and cheese, want some?” I asked as we walked back down the short hallway. 40

“Yes!” She smiled. “That’s one of my favorites.” She told me, giggling. 41

We went upstairs to my room with our bowls of macaroni to work on science homework that well; I really didn’t need help on. 42

About thirty minutes into working I guess Arianna got a little warm because she took off her hoodie. I noticed some other cuts on her arm but they were a little redder than the others; they looked new. 43

“What are those?” I asked, nodding my head at her left arm. 44

She gasped, pulling her arm out of view, “Donnie bought me a kitten,” she said, giggling nervously, refusing to meet my eyes. 45

I wasn’t about to buy that bull. I wanted her to tell me but I didn’t want to be exasperating. 46

“Hm,” I said, watching her write the answer to number ten quickly. It was silent for a moment. Arianna was pretending nothing came up while I was probing over feasible questions in my mind to get her back on topic. Looking at my blank response for number ten, I copied Arianna’s. 47

“You have a lot…” 48

She let a long breath out through her nose, adverting her brown eyes to stare out the window. Her response was lower than a whisper. I had to read her lips. “Yeah, I don’t have a kitten either.” 49

I bit down hard on the inside of my cheek. “How did you get them?” I asked, already knowing the answer.50

Cutting. That word never sounded so terrible until today. An addiction? Cutting to relieve pain? How is that addictive? Does that make any sense at all? I guess it does, to cutters. Takes one to know one, right? 51

“Why do you do it?” I just couldn’t comprehend.52

She turned away from me.53

“You’re so nosey, Anika! What’s your problem?” I heard him yell.54

Even though she wasn’t looking I still suppressed making a face or smart remark. “Err, sorry, you don’t have to tell me.55

“Does it hurt?” I asked.56

“Yeah…” She whispered. 57

I tried not to shudder, “How does it help…?” 58

She looked down at the floor and then closed her eyes, “It’s the only pain I can control.” She told me as if it were a well known fact. 59

“How long have you been…” I couldn’t really say the word, “Cutting?” I said it.60

“Five years now?” She said, finally looking up and counting on her fingers. I saw tiny cuts on them, how did I not notice? 61

“What do you use?” I asked, curiously. 62

“Blades from my shaving razor.” She told me in the monotone voice she’d been speaking in. 63

“Oh, yeah?” I said, “How do you get them out of the razor?” I inquired, arching an eyebrow.64

“Uh, I just use tweezers to take them out.” She told me not knowing that I was planning to understand her after she was gone. 65