The pink sky cast an eerie glow over the manor, highlighting parts of the grand building. The gravel cracked as it moved under the young girls shoes. She stepped as lightly as possible to avoid making too much noise. She didn't want to disturb the rest of the manor. She wasn't supposed to be out this early. She was a lady, not supposed to be out at this dreaded hour. She made her way down to the stables, as she did every morning, to see the horses kept there. They were fine horses, ten in total; Three stallions, four mares and three cobs. Her favorite by far was the old mare, Donner. She was quite small for a mare and was a beautiful bay colour with a blond mane and tail. She was kind natured and one of the best trained horses for miles. Elizabeth would have gone as far as to say she loved the old mare. She jogged up to her stable and peered over the door. There she was, the beauty, waiting for Elizabeth's visit. 1
There was a clatter of metal that made Elizabeth and Donner jump. She spun round and saw someone running down towards the woods. Wondering who it was and what they were doing in the stables she ran after them, not caring how much noise her shoes made on the gravel. She was a speedy runner and was soon catching up to the culprit. But as suddenly as he appeared he disappeared from view. Stunned, Elizabeth ran faster trying to keep up. When she reached the spot where he had vanished she knew why. She slipped and slid on her front down into a small stream, landing on the sharp rocks at the bottom. She cried out in pain and grasped her leg. The water turned a shade of rich red, blood flowing from a gaping wound.2
She struggled to try and pull herself out of the water and onto the banking. Using her good leg she steadied herself and began to pull herself up, but slipped and landed in a heap again leaving her leg in more pain. She gave up, but noticed something underneath her. It was covered in moss, small in size and very old by the looks of it. Elizabeth picked it up and realised what she held in her hand was a small locket, elaborately decorated and locked.3
'Are you OK?' Hearing a male voice Elizabeth pushed the locket down the top of her dress, keeping it out of sight. The head of a boy was looking down at her from the banking. Oh no she thought realising what a state she must look. The boy was very handsome and was concerned about her as well.4
'Um, well... I'll be OK.' She stammered not quite knowing how to explain what had happened.5
'You don't look like you will be.' He carefully climbed down the banking to Elizabeth's side. 'Here, take my hand.' His blue eyes met Elizabeth's and he reached out his hand to her. How could she not trust someone as handsome as him. Within ten minutes she was sitting under the old oak, using a hanker chief as a tourniquet to stop the bleeding. The boy stayed with her, talking to her about everything they could think of. He was easy to get along with, very cheerful and good fun.6
Elizabeth had never really had many friends, apart from her brothers and sisters. It felt good to talk to someone who didn't already know everything about her.7
' So, you live in that big manor. That must mean your Luxtons daughter, dressed like that there's no way your a worker.'8
' Well, its complicated. My mother was extremely poor and the lady, Erica Luxton had no daughters but had concieved seven boys and wanted a daughter desperately. Frederick Luxton was happy, he had all the heirs he needed but the lady, she wanted another girl. My mother sold me to them, then left. I've never met my mother but the Luxtons have being good to me.'9
'I see.' He picked a daisy from the floor and split its stem. Picking another he slipped them together, starting to create a daisy chain. Silence followed as he made the chain long enough to fit over Elizabeth's head. When he had finished he placed it round her neck. 10
'There we go. A daisy chain. My present to you for not shouting at me.'11
' Shouting at you? Why would i do that?'12
' Because its my fault that your leg's in the state it is now, and as i am the gentleman i am, i will take you home.' Not giving Elizabeth a chance to reply he grabbed her waist and swung her over his shoulder.13
Walking with ease he headed towards the manor.14
Author notes
yup part 5! Critical comments please! tell me what you think!
What did you think? Please comment!
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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Ah yes. Now I can see that you've been going back and forth in time a bit... I like where this is going. I'm with lilaclady... Hehehehe... They SO have to end up together! But why was our handsome rescuer at Luxton Manor? Or were there 2 boys?
Two things. First, I thought bay horses were dark brown with black manes and tails. Aren't duns the kind that are brown with blond manes and tails? Sorry, that's really nitpicky...
The second things is that I'm noticing a lot of run on sentences, like "Frederick Luxton was happy, he had all the heirs he needed but the lady, she wanted another girl." That's just an example. There are other places where you are missing commas etc, but the general message of your writing is unimpaired by these small errors.
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lol thanks! im glad u liked it! they might get it on- i havent decided their fate yet!! lol
thanks again emma!
Lauren xx -
lol, kk, i estimate at least 20
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ohhh, this is v romantic i hope these guys get it on, god your so good at writing, the scentences just flow soo easily, anyways another great write
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thanks, as many parts as it takes
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Numbers like '10' shud maybe 'ten' insted?!
'Luxtons have being good to me' - been not being
'Are you OK?' Hearing a - ok insted of OK!?
''They were fine horses, 10 in total. Three stallions, four mares and three cobs'' -- cud b... ''They were fine horses, ten in total; three stallions, four mares and three cobs.'' ?!
otha than tht a gr8 write, the story is gettin there now! all pieceing together, i think :S look forward to aprt 6, how many arts u doin ?!
Keep up the good writes, cyas arounds
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