It was, at times, most dreary and dreadful of a place - hung with webs that the sun shone through, illuminating odd patches of weeds and roots - and, yet, though the contrasting times were not dominant, it could hold all the splendor of a ball's rich gayety. Such is this place - a place that one, if with but the proverbial seed of faith, could believe in.1
Let us look more closely into the circumstances of our imagined scene. Thus far described, we behold the area - the dreadful clearing - to be haunted. And indeed it may be! But, if we were to look more closely - to examine some rather large, though hardly occurring, events - we would find the scene to house more than a just few ghastly apparitions.2
Near the far end - by the trees, for it is in New England's woods - a small carousel spins round, chirping its melodic bells. And on this carnival entertainment, with faces most happy, shouts a small group of children with no apparent reason for being there other than to defy the gloominess of their very surroundings. They are such a chipper group that one would think them to not even exist - surely, the depression of their adult counterparts must seep into their heads when they are within their dark and graying homes. 3
But perhaps they have no homes! Perhaps these children, these champions of happiness and seekers of where it is lost, abide within the clearing itself, and all this time - unawares - we have been describing not a clearing of a haunted wood, but a clearing of the grown man's soul and mind. These children - as most of us have seen from the beginning their introduction - are not normal. Therefore - lost themselves in the dark eaves of depression - they must be the drugs of a drunken man!
Author notes
This is a slightly edited version of an exercise we did in my writing class. I was trying to imitate Nathaniel Hawthorne in it.
Comments
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interisting.
well done.
cheers
Hunter`
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SPOOKY STUFF!
Speaking of seeds (mustard?)...I think there is at least one in this piece. I like the sound, voice and style of it...I think you did a good job of that. A few little things...up top, at P1...did you mean "dominaNt?" And why "mustard" seed? Why not just seed...since it is the "seed of FAITH?" not mustard?
In P2 "But" should be capitalized.Also I would not repeat the word "occurring" or "occurrences." Pick one...find a sub for the other (like "events")
In P3...you have "on its this" I don't think this is acceptable (makes no sense).
The rest is fine...in fact...PRETTY GOOD! You ought to develop it. Nice mood...nice idea...nice job!
GA

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Fascinating...
It's a vey rough read, but fascinating in it's journey. There are some places where it appears you started to use one type of phrasing, and then changed your mind in the midst of writing, and continued with new phrasing without deleteing the first.
The first paragraph is especially hard to chew. I'm sure some of this has to do with the fact that you are emulating Hawthorne.
Nice work. As usual.
