Author's note: For those of you wondering, this is all six chapters plus a prologue. I'm working on actually publishing this, for royalties, and can use any help you might offer. 1
Prologue(Or back cover)2
In a far off world, the qualities that govern sentient creatures were given physical form. They were given sentience and purpose, a great creator gave them lives of their own. Each Quality has their own flaming personality, tastes, and choices, but as mankind grows it leaves behind the need for some things the qualities represent. As humans begin to adapt to their world, they no longer need the inventive spark of Creativity to bring them fire, but now need a new muse to bring about weapons and medicines. As a Quality falls away from mankind, they Pass On, allowing someone else to take up their mantle, be they human or simply a creature spun from the threads of existence. They Pass to rejoin their creator and to see the fruits of their efforts. Often, a new Quality is born, bringing with it the inginuity of some new virtue or ideal for which mankind has been searching. But sometimes Change is a fickle and almost heartless creature, influencing men to think of things devious and bringing a danger to thier lives. She chooses to bring them the ideals of War and Strife, crushing the weak and the unfortunate who stumble into their path. Thus begins the epic tale of the struggle between the Old Qualities and the New as the Qualities of Hope, Joy, and Strength enter the world to set it back on the track that Destiny chose for it. Will they find the path to freedom? Or has the Great Creator lost all interest in the things It put so much work into making?3
Chapter one: Silence4
Silence sat alone in her room, quietly sewing a new quilt for her son's bed. Her son, Memory, had left the Tower a century ago and would be returning in a few days. She had, since then, been sewing a quilt to welcome him home with. It was every color imaginable, including some that had never been seen by the human eye. The only eyes to have even thought of it were those of the Qualities. Silence sat in the early morning sun, listening to the sounds of birds and other such creatures outside the window, her golden hair flowing around her, like a living blanket. She wore a simple dress of gold cloth, elegant, but uncomplicated, with small threads of turqoise flowing the length of the bodice and accenting her bright blue eyes. Her eyes were the most impressive thing about Silence, they were bright and dark, crystal clear and cloudy, they were every single shade and dimension of blue ever thought possible while still only being one color. Her tiny, delicate hands made stiches in the fabric that were impossible for the hands of man to duplicate. She sat in a silver rocking chair in a sparse and colorful room and spent a century stitching. 5
Memory had left on a quest, one hundred years ago, he meant to discover as much about the mortal world as he possibly could. He wished to learn more about the Qualities and he wished to discover other Qualities. He wished to know Love, with her flowing red hair and emerald green eyes. He wished to meet Hope, Sorrow, Pain, Joy, and Laughter. There were many of the Qualities he wished to meet. But most of all, he wished to meet Life and Death. These were the mother and father of all the Qualities and Humanity. Life bore Death's children, raised them, and when they came of age, Death took them into his kingdom. Silence had once been a woman of mortal birth. She had lived in the world of man, hearing and seeing, but never able to speak. She conveyed her wishes and thoughts through simple gestures and glances. If she wished it to be said, her eyes said it all. Memory had never been a mortal, he would never give up his name, as the other Qualities did, for he had been born of Silence and Laughter. Laughter, his father, had been a Bard when he lived. He had spent his life singing and rhyming, living joyously untill Death took him. The man known as his father had long ago passed on and a new man had taken Laughter's title. The new Laughter was not as kind, he played tricks of the meanest kinds and did his best to make sure someone was always embarrassed. Memory had no love for this new Laughter. 6
Silence continued her sewing, remembering things of times long passed and wondering when she would see Love again. Love had been the one to introduce her to the old Laughter, and she hoped that Love could find her a new lover and husband. Silence was lonely. She remembered Laughter's deep brown eyes, filled with fun and happiness, she remembered listening to him sing and laugh and come up with new rhymes with his sister, Song. As Silence remembered this, tears came to her Blue eyes and flowed down the pale golden cheeks of the Quality. She finished the quilt, set it on Memory's bed, and Passed On. 7
Chapter Two: Memory8
Memory was still young, as least to the mortal eye, he was smooth of face and light in step. The only thing to give this ancient being away was his eyes. Memory's eyes were impressive and unique, even by Quality standards. The were grey, at first, but then began to pick up color as one stared into them. They would then begin to mirror a person's memories, playing them from childhood, on the surface of his eyes. His hair was the color of who ever had influenced the onlooker in the most dramatic fashion. None of him was constant or stable, when a mortal looked upon him, they saw one guise, when another mortal looked, they saw a different one. He was of their memories, depending on the person, he would have their mother's skintone, their father's hair color, their sister's face, and so forth and so on. Only Silence knew his honest appearance, only she was his anchor. Without Silence, Memory felt he would go mad, a thing existing with only everyone else's purpose in mind. He was loving of mortals and the Qualities, but not so loving as to never live for himself. 9
Memory slid into the tower, quiet and delicately, for fear he should wake his mother. It was the middle of the night, and she would most definitely be sleeping. He tiptoed up the stairs, around and around for what seemed like forever, and crept into his room. In the dark, he felt for his lantern and lit it. Memory turned and there, on the floor, lying spreadeagled and almost angelic, was Silence. Her lovely yellow hair had lost it's glow and shine, her golden skin was now just pale white. Her body did not move, her eyes were open and coldly staring at the world. Her eyes... They did not show the wondrous blue they had, they were dark and quiet, the blue of the night sky when all the stars have died. Memory knelt by her, disbelieving. Silence had passed on... No! He thought, It cannot be! Mother would not have left me here... No! Mother... Memory turned Silence's head and read her memories, he read everything about her and wept for her. 10
Love had been the Quality to feel the distress, for it was her domain. There was a heart breaking, love shattered, and it wounded her as with a knife. She hurried herself to the stables and onto the back of Pegasus, her husband's horse, and took flight to the Tower of Legend. Her own heart felt as though it would break, simply due to the shattered love crashing from the Tower. And even as Love looked upon it, the Tower began to die. The tip of it began to simply blow in the wind, and then, as in a storm of the sands, the Tower began to fly away in the wind as tiny little peices. Love knew instantly that Silence had passed on, she had no need to see the lovely corpse to know it, and tears began to flow down the beautiful face of Love. 11
Memory knelt in a clear circle, holding the body of Silence close in his arms. His face was twisted with the pain of what he had lost, and his mind was closed. Love, for the first time, saw memory without his guise, and went mad. 12
Chapter Three: Love's Madness13
Her mind was snapped. What she had seen was something that Death himself could not handle to view, and she had survived it's vision. It had glowed, in a way, in that friction and fire kind of way, and it held every memory in the world on it's sleeve even while it held oblivion. Love's mind was not capable of handling such a thing. She had seen everything and nothing all at the same moment. Her mind reeled inside itself and she fell to her knees. Pegasus came beside her, unharmed as he was uncomprehending of that which was in front of him, and knelt. Love, in all her beauty, a beauty that could drive men insane or suicidal as she wished, had been driven mad by Memory. 14
Memory himself sat in the midst of the ruins of the Tower of Legends, while the body of his mother, Silence, dissappeared. His sobbed wracked his body and he fell to the ground on hands and knees. Love was virtually catatonic. She mumbled about nothing and everything, drool escaping her lovely pouting lips, tears raining down her cheeks, and staring at her hands as though they were monsters. Love, the Beauty of Ages, the person who found matches between mortals and Qualities, clawed out her own two grass green eyes. As the blood poured down her face, Love became a different Quality. Love became Prophecy. She could not help herself. She went to the Woods of Time, and there she stayed, spouting Prophecy to whoever happened by. Warriors of the mortals went looking for her guidance, those who had found quests asked her help, she became both help and hindrance to all. As she wandered, her body aged, she became an older woman with pure white hair, scared eyes, and yet, still lovely. Nothing could ever harm the Beauty of Love, for they were one and the same. 15
After a time, Prophecy sent a young mortal on a quest. They were to find a girl, one who was fair yet knowledgeable. The girl had to hold great beauty, yet she must be very wise. The young girl that Prophecy sent out wandered all of the lands of Mortalworld, yet she came accross not a single woman who was both beautiful and wise. There were some pretty ones with a bit of wisdom, but that was not what Prophecy wanted. She wanted a woman so beautiful as to break the hearts of men, while she also wanted the woman to be wise beyond her years. The girl, who was called Lya, went back to Prophecy and explained that no such woman existed. Prophecy began to laugh.16
"My Lady, what is so funny?" 17
"Child, as that is what you are yet, you have missed the most important thing. You have not viewed all the women of the world, there is one yet that you have missed..."18
"I do not understand, My Lady"19
"Of course you do child, it is just that you must wait for this one to mature, as she is not yet born..." Prophecy rested her hand upon the girl's heavy stomach, " you will have three children, my dear. One will be Love, she will be beautiful and wise. Another will be Hope, she will be powerful and loving, and the third will be Strength. He will be stong and charismatic, skilled at the ways of battle and hunting. He will bring strength to the mortal realm. And you my child, you will be Determination..." with that, Prophecy left the woman to bear her three children. When the night came that the children were born, the woman's mortal shell died, as did those of the three children. Her village dispaired, for a time. The four new Qualities, Love, Hope, Strength, and Determination, visited the village not long after, to renew that which they had stolen. They then left to travel the world and spread these four traits throughout the mortal nations... 20
Chapter Four: Tranquility21
In a place unknown to mortals, one Quality rests her body. Or perhaps it is his body, no one has ever known and no one likely will. Tranquility rests in It's bed, surrounded by the soft sounds of dusk. Water from the lake did not lap against Tranquility's home, for it was ever still and ever quiet, birds sang softly in the distance of the trees around the lake, and soft winds blew about the island. It was an island, after all, the Island of Tranquility. Covered in sand, one lone palace sits on it's center. Beyond the Lake of Worlds, the Woods of Time waited for it's end, it's splendor casting shadows upon the Worlds. Tranquility, hair of stars and eyes of suns, lifted itself from it's soft, warm bed. It stepped from It's home on the Island, and into the Waters. It was just nearing the end of Dusk, and when Tranquility stepped into those waters, It melded into them. From It spread the layout of trillions of stars, spreading over the Worlds and enveloping them in Night. Prophecy waited on the shores by the Woods for Tranquility to step away from It's nightly task.22
"Tranquility... 'Tis your time... He comes for you from the depths of your own Lake. Death has chosen your time..." Prophecy called out.23
"Then let him come, if it is my time, then it is my time. There is no sense in running away from Him. I know better." 24
Tranquility rose from It's lake to stand upon the waters, held there by the world beneath. The winds began to blow fiercely and to disassemble the stars themselves. The mortals on the Worlds saw their stars shudder and shake, blinking madly, and feared the Dark. From the depths of the Lake, Death rose to take Tranquility. He brandished His Scythe towards It, beckoning without words. Tranquility, having thought that Prophecy was truly mad, began to cry for It's foolishness. It still had work to do. Tranquility sank to it's knees, sobbing piteously, and begged Death to leave It. 25
"My child, you know you must come. There are no ways around it. Look, you already begin to fade. Your time is passed, it is now the time for War. You're place is gone, my child, though loathe I am to say it. It is time for you to come home." His skeletal face showed his sorrow, though it's features never moved. Tranquility sobbed all the harder.26
"But Father, who will weave stars into the sky? Who will bring about the Dawn? Who will take over for me?"27
Death did not speak, for he had already given his speech and it was time for his child to leave. He swung his Scythe and clove the sobbing Quality in two. From the sky, a fierce cry rang out, one that had never been heard in this world or those lying beneath the waters. It was the cry of War, riding in his Chariot. The Pegasus of the now mad Love led it through the night. 28
Chapter five: Creativity29
Creativity was sitting in her room, sketching on canvas. Her rainbow colored hair fanned around her like a robe and her lavender outlined green eyes serious. Her paints had been foiling her today, she could not seem to come up with a single thing she wanted to paint, the canvas lay empty except for pencil marks here and there. And this is where it began, or ended, for our colorful Quality. She first noticed the walls. Their brightly colored murals were peeling. In a panic, Creativity ran to her wall to attend the matter. The paint was aging and peeling, falling to the floor beneath her carefully questing fingertips. Then the rumbling began. The home of Creativity, stowed deep in the Mountains of Myst, was shaking with a furious rage. The walls were crumbling and the very ceiling above her threatened to fall. Creativity was lost beneath the rubble when Death came for her. 30
Life, saddened by the changes occurring about her, began to spin the new Qualities into existence. She began with Silence. A man appeared before her, weak and decrepit in build, old and with a flowing beard. He was the perfect image of a victim, and his voice was crushed beneath the heavy weight of Domination's hand. The old man would stay in his hut, hiding, exiting only during times when he felt it was safe so he could gather food and water for himself. He lived as a hermit and was the voice of the weak and powerless. 31
She then began to recreate Creativity. This one was a young gentleman in breeches and no shirt, he came to the Universe with tools and scientific knowledge. He began immediately to make new things that struck fear into the Qualities. He made weapons for War. These new weapons shot fire from their openings and sometimes launched tiny metal balls at extreme speeds to destroy people and things. Some of these weapons were meant for the destruction of innocents, the destruction of animals. The Men and Qualities would now begin to eat meat. Creativity was reborn, this time for destruction rather than creation. 32
Chapter Six: Honor33
Luck sat by the window in her humble little cottage. She awaited the coming of War and his Chariot. She awaited his attempt at destroying her or enslaving her to his purposes. Lady Luck knew what he wished and what would happen and with all her powers would oppose it. And so, she made a plan. She had gathered together three things. A sword as long as her arm, armor to fit, and a book of records. Her name would change today, and she would be a new Quality. Something to keep War in check, or at least to help. She had set her spells and made her preparations. She would not fail this endeavor. 34
War, sword raised and chariot flaming, came to land by her door. Lady Luck opened it and asked him inside. He strode into her home, full of over confidence and ignorance. He ordered of her food and wine, she sat in her chair and told him no. She would not obey such a creature as War, as she had her own plans. War, unused to people disobeying him, began to throw a tantrum fit for a two year old. Luck told him as such. 35
War stood up proud and tall. He swung at her with his weaponry. Luck dodged and darted about him, always facing him and attacking only once. That one attack brought War to his knees, Luck stood towering above him, her own sword in hand. She brought the tip of the sword into the air, aiming it as though she meant to chop his head off, then turned it to face herself and drove it through her own stomach. Luck began to glow, her skin becoming pale silver, her hair becoming deepest black, and her eyes becoming darkest gray. Her armor flung itself about her and her sword flew back to her hand. She stood above War, towering in her new power, and spoke to him at length. 36
"War. You are unjust. You fight for no cause, nor reason. Now you have someone to answer to. Honor shall be your binds. Honor shall be your limits. Honor shall be your ruler and your reason. No longer shall the creatures of man be bothered by senseless idiocies. Now all shall have reason. Now all shall have Honor." 37
The newly made Honor looked down upon War, then held out her hand. She lifted him up from his knees and began a new lesson. One that taught him to behave himself and how to live in a new light. 38
Far away, in the World of Worlds, new qualities were being born. A new Love was coming to the world, one full of innocence and joy. A new Strength soon came into play, bringing with him happiness and the will to move on. And finally, a new Hope was brought into being. This one bringing with her the ability to dream and wish. Determination, their mother, began the task of raising them alone. 39
Chapter Seven: Determination40
I could definitely use any help with this one.
Comments
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I think this would work as a children allergory...with illustrations.
Picture would solve ending....it has real possiblities for the younger minds....
beginning: 4, language: 4, plot: 5, ending: 4, characters: 5.
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just honest advice
I'm looking to be published soon as well, but this story is like reading a new comic in the middle of a series. It seems very hard work so you have to grab the reader in the first paragraph, something that Stephen King does (the rest of the novel is normally rubbish tho). You just need a punchier intro and something that gives readers a reason to keep at it, best of luck mate.
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I like the names and few grammatical errors :D
Don't worry, you're safe...


