The Basement Dragon (alternate ending)

Reece trudged down the dark narrow staircase with a loaded laundry basket on her hip. Blonde bangs hung in her eyes as she glanced up at the light hanging from the ceiling.1

“Broken again. Looks like someone busted it,” she said with a sigh. “That’s the third time this month. Mr. Bradshaw isn’t going to be happy.” She shook her head feeling her blonde locks trail across her neck with the motion.2

Downward she went, picking her steps carefully. When she hit level floor she stumbled, expecting it to farther down. Reece caught herself on the rough concrete wall, taking a strip of skin from her elbow.3

“Damn it!” she hissed.4

Nursing her arm against her side, she fumbled with the basket and the light switch. A sudden stream of light dazed her and she lifted her free hand to shield her eyes against the temporary blindness.5

“Well thank God that still works.” 6

Stark, gray walls greeted her as her eyes adjusted and she scanned the room. On the opposite wall stood the battered avocado green washers and dryers, four total. The floor was of packed dirt, moist in places where water dripped from the leaky pipes that ran the length of the room.7

Boxes were stacked in the corner closest to the door. A ski, stripped of its boot gear, stuck in the air beside them. One side held an old inner tube and a bike without its wheels and chain.8

“Well, no time like the present,” Reece mumbled as she dragged herself to a washing machine. She set the white basket on top of one the dryers and slid out the soap. The light scent of lavender and vanilla reached her nose as she opened the bulky bottle. She closed her eyes and smiled at the lovely scent. She liked the way the soap left subtle hints of smell on her clothing.9

Loading the washer she noticed the faint smell hinting of freshly turned dirt, almost moldy. It smelled like someone had just dug in a recently watered garden with traces of decaying vegetation. She sniffed a shirt or two and was satisfied it wasn’t her clothes. The smell was disturbing and she shivered as though a cold breeze had rushed down the steps to incase her. Reece rubbed her arms to warm them. 10

She went to close the dented lid and feed the quarters into the machine when her injured elbow smacked into the half-filled basket, sending its contents spilling onto the dirty floor.11

“Damn it!” She breathed through gritted teeth as she cradled her elbow against her side and squatted down to refill the overturned basket.1212

She groaned as she saw the last article of clothing half hidden behind the dryer wall.13

She squished her right shoulder between the wall and the dryer’s side and grabbed the shorts. As she pulled away she noticed something shining in the light of the bulb. She hadn’t seen it before because the pants and the shadow of the dryer were on top of it.14

Intrigued, she scooted herself as far as she could between the wall and the dryer, again feeling the coolness of the metal against her cheek and the rough texture of the cement wall against her back. She stretched her arms out but, her fingers barely skimmed the edge.15

“Damn it!” Reece got up, frustrated, and dusted her worn jeans off. She had left behind light stands of her hair attached to the rough wall. A throbbing pain started where the fine hairs had been. With hands on her hips, she stood staring at the washer.16

As she stood worrying the problem and chewed on a fingernail, a soft humming started in her head. No words came to her mind only a subtle melody and a slow steady beat. Like the sound of an engine a mile away or a kitten purring on her lap with a contented sighs.17

Excited, she grabbed the dryer and started to drag it out. Slowly she wiggled it back and forth, wiggling it, kicking it in frustration, and little by little it worked its way out. As Reece was fighting with the dryer, the humming grew louder and she pushed herself harder. Sweat dripped as she struggled, straining to pull out the battered machine. Half cocked, the dryer stood out from the corner and Reece sat on the top panting from all the exertion. The cold of the room had given her goose bumps. 18

Reece sat with hands clamped over the metal shelf that held the controls. Half buried and tucked in the corner sat a white egg the size of a border collie. It gleamed with a soft blue glow and a scattering of spots dotted the white surface.19

Peering down, she watched as the egg pulsed and began to rock. It picked up momentum, only to lurch out of the hole and roll to the back of the dryer.20

“Oh my word,” Reece whispered into the darkness.21

Without thinking, she dumped out the rest of the laundry, leaving only a thin layer of clothing on the bottom. She carefully rolled the egg across the floor. The surface was warm, like a comfortable blanket on a chilly evening. When she looked closely she saw that the spots were raised stars, metallic green and blue in color. She loaded the egg carefully and padded it with extra laundry. 22

Remembering the load that was already in the washer, she hurriedly popped in the quarters and listened for the water to start.23

* * *24

The basket sat in the middle of her one-room apartment. Around her an overstuffed floral recliner, she’d found at a second-hand shop, loomed to the left. In front of the room’s only bay window sat a similarly styled and patterned couch, a little worn around the edges and thin on the arms. Dust balls settled in the corner of the bay windowsills. The middle pane cracked and in need of washing. The white walls were bare of pictures or photos. The end table and coffee table were littered with newspapers and magazines but not other adornment.25

“Guess we better keep you warm. But how?” Reece sat cross-legged with her back to the counter of the bar and chewed on her fingernails while she studied her prize. She took her thumb out of her mouth and spat the nail onto the floor. Her thumb went back into her mouth as she thought the problem through. Reece watched as the egg pulsed slowly.26

“If I turn up the thermostat, I could keep the room warm and set the egg near the heater vent.”27

Shaking her head she stood up to pace the length of the room. “No, that will never do. It’ll roast if I keep it up that high. No, no, no.”28

Into the kitchen she went. The egg-yolk yellow walls always made her smile, but today she was too distracted. She bent down and started shoving pots and pans around until finally she found a large Dutch oven. Its dull gray metal gleamed from washing. Holding it up, she tried to judge if it was big enough.29

She eyed the oven. It was the same avocado green as the washers and dryers in the basement. Only three burners functioned and the fan has never worked since she’d moved in.30

Taking the large pan into the living room, she set it before the egg. As she pushed the pan closer the humming grew louder, more frantic.31

When she pulled it away the humming slowed and returned to normal. “Hmmm…now isn’t that interesting? You don’t like my idea of keeping you warm in the oven? Well, it doesn’t look like you’ll fit anyways. Ok, new plan.”32

Again she paced. Her index finger automatically went into her mouth. This had been a habit of hers for so many years that she never thought about it anymore. The girls down at the office where she worked all had manicured nails and often they laughed at her. But she just went about her work pulling out requests or filing the endless documents that the big wigs sent down. 33

She made her way into the bedroom. Its cream-colored walls and brown carpet dominated the small room. The twin bed was pushed up under the window, its covers a jumble of blues and whites bunched at the bottom. Clothes covered most of the available floor space. Near the door to the bathroom stood a tall dresser made of cherry. Its dark wood glistened with many layers of polish. It stood spotless. No clothes or dust lay upon it. The dresser was all she had of her mother.34

But she passed it without a glance and went into the bathroom. There sat the egg’s salvation, a claw-footed, white porcelain tub35

The hum had changed to a sweet, soothing melody. “Oh, I see you like this idea. Ok, then,” she called out the door, “how to keep you above the water?” 36

She walked back to the living room and sat in front of the egg again. “Ok, darling.” She ran her hands over the surface, feeling the raised stars. “What will hold you up?”37

Her hand touched the clothes stuffed around the egg and an idea popped into her head. Quickly, she ran through her cluttered living room and down to the dark and damp basement.38

* * *39

Above the steady noise of the blow-dryer, Reece said, “This is just taking way too long.”40

She turned it off and stomped out of the living room. The egg was cool to the touch. “Now that’s not good.”41

Reece strode over to the thermostat and violently turned it up. She walked over to the basket and started pushing it to the vent near the chair. 42

“There! Now that should do until I finish. It’s a good thing I remembered that old inner tube.” She walked back to the bathroom.43

The steamy water rushed out of the chrome-plated nozzle of the faucet. Great clouds of mist arose from the tub. It was almost too hot to breath but Reece continued to blow up the inner tube using her blow-dryer.44

As the water level rose, so did the air in the tube, and as the tube filled, her mind wandered to the egg. ‘What kind of egg could it be? Maybe it’s a dinosaur egg. I mean, it’s large. I don’t know any living animal that could lay an egg of that size. Well, I just need to keep it warm and then I’ll find out.’45

Reece laid the tube in the white porcelain tub. The tube stretched across the widest portion without sinking into the water.46

“Well, it doesn’t quite fit but at least it will keep you above the water and the steam will keep you warm. And besides it’s the only thing I can think of,” Reece shouted over the running water.47

The hum pulsed. The air grew humid as the steam filled the small bathroom. The mirror over the pedestal sink fogged over. 48

As the tub filled she strode back into the living room and started pulling the basket across the floor. It seemed heavier than it had been when she lugged it up the basement stairs.49

“All right then.” She squatted down and strained against the side. Instantly sweat beaded above her full upper up. At that moment the refrigerator kicked in and she jumped slightly.50

She giggled nervously. “Well, we can’t be jumping at every little sound, now can we?”51

The egg rocked back and forth to its own beat of a melody only it could hear, like it understood and agreed. 52

* * *53

For two days Reece emptied and refilled the clawed-footed tub with steamy water. She woke twice a night to make sure the water remained warm. 54

Monday morning broke clear and crisp as the autumn sun rose. Reece’s eyes fluttered open as the rays danced across her face. Movement on the side of her bed made her turn her head quickly.55

Sitting there, with wings stretched out, was a scaled creature the size of a Great Dane. The wings beat rhythmically as they touched the opposing walls. Reece peered at the wings, and could through the membranes, see the blood flow through the veins. Steely scales covered its large body, giving off a greenish glow. When it turned the scales turned blue.56

Oddly enough she felt no fear. The creature did not seem threatening.57

“Well, fella.” She reached out a hand slowly towards its snout. “You must have been what was in that egg. Wow!” Reece forgot to breath and she stood frozen, as a sense of wonderment struck her when she realized that this creature was a dragon. 58

The air around the scaled creature shimmered and became misty. Reece could feel the heaviness of the air, making it hard to catch her breath. She forced herself to sit with her legs hanging over the edge of her single bed. 59

Gradually the air cleared, but the heaviness lingered. It had settled in Reece’s lungs, making breathing difficult, almost impossible.60

When the air had completely cleared Reece saw that the dragon had turned into a young boy.61

The boy stood beside the bed, eye level with her sitting form. She tried to lift her hand to touch his snow-white hair, but her arms couldn’t move. Panic struck her as she tried different body parts. None responded. Silent tears ran down her freckled cheeks.62

The boy reached out and stroked her blonde hair, as if she were a pet. His skin shimmered and sparkled against the low light of morning. Deep green eyes stared into her clear blue ones, never blinking.63

Slowly, he laid her down and took one of the balled up blankets. Gently, he tucked it around her feet. He took one hand and licked it. On his hands was a stringy liquid that he secured the blanket with. He rolled her over onto her stomach and around to her back again. Over and over he did this, periodically securing it with the same sticky material as before. When he was done, he left her in her blanketed cocoon.64

For days she stayed that way, neither sleeping nor eating. She could hear movement from the other room and could hear the phone, but he stayed away. Still the panic and hopelessness threatened to overcome her. Madness lay just underneath, but was just out of her reach. And then he came back but in dragon form.65

She knew he had learned to breathe fire from the smoldering smoke that curled up from his snout.66

She knew he was breathing a controlled flame on her legs but could not feel it. Reece watched the shadows dance on the wall beside her twin bed. Slowly, he made his way up and the only thing she could think of was…67

“I was going to name you Liquid.”68

As the sheet was being wrapped around Reece’s upper thighs, feeling returned to her fingers and she twitched them. Slowly the pin and needle sensation lessened and she gripped the fitted sheet under her.69

With feeling back in her finger’s she tried her mouth. Reece’s lips tingled, but she could open and close her sore jaw. She ran a dry tongue over cracked lips. 70

The dragon lifted its powerful head at this movement and she took a chance. “Please,“ Reece croaked like a sick frog. “Please.”71

Again she licked her lips trying to bring moisture back to them. The dragon shuffled over, closer to her head and the smell of roses enveloped her nose, almost to the point of making her sick.72

Reece gagged and could feel sweat bead on her upper lip. “I can help you.” Her voice was stronger.73

The dragon blew a puff of hot air at her chest and she could feel there again. Reece shivered at the power she saw rippling underneath its scales. He, she assumed the dragon was a male, was so close Reece could see the white’s of his eyes, with the reptilian slits of simmering green for the pupil.74

Reece slowly propped herself up on her elbows, so not to frighten the awesome beast into doing something that would end her life. Reece did not like the thought of becoming dinner this late in the game.75

“Liquid, here Liquid.” Reece held out a shaky hand. “How does Liquid sound for a name?”76

Liquid, the dragon, shuffled closer to the bed and laid his head down beside her, releasing a steamy breath against her ribs.77

“Look at the way the light makes your scales gleam,” She ran a hand across them. The scales were rough at the edges and smooth in the center. Again the low hum slowly filled the air. Liquid seemed pleased.78

Liquid’s eyes turned up towards her and a low whimper escaped out between very white incisors. “You must be hungry. That’s why you were wrapping me up in a cocoon.”79

Liquid moaned and spread his magnificent wings in an agreement. “Ok, if you let me unwrap my legs, I’ll see what I can find for you.”80

Reece stopped stroking the glossy scales, as Liquid moved away from the disheveled bed.81

* * *82

Steam escaped from the freezer door while Reece’s eyes scanned the contents. After Liquid’s breath and body heat, the freezer felt nice, like jumping into the pool after a long, hot game of tag when she was younger.83

Liquid pranced behind her. Reece could hear the click-clack of his claws against the cracked linoleum floor.84

“Well dear, everything’s frozen and you probably want something fresh. Oh wait! What about the chicken I took out yesterday?”85

Liquid cooed almost like a dove and she took that as a yes. Opening the frig she set the chicken on the floor.86

Reece sat down with her back to the frig door. The gentle hum of the dragon and the frig mingled to make a soothing melody.87

“Earlier I saw you transform into a boy.” An index finger went into her mouth and she started chewing on the nail. “Can you do that at will?”88

A haze filled the air, clouding Reece’s vision. For a while she fanned the air trying to see beyond the cloud. The smell of roses lessened and a light fragrance of vanilla took its place.89

When the air cleared and Reece could again see dilapidated kitchen, along with her messy livingroom, standing where Liquid had been moments before, was the young boy she had seen before.90

Reece covered her mouth in amazement. Scrambling up onto her feet, she reached out to smooth back his snow-white hair.91

“Oh my, so I wasn’t dreaming before?” The boy shook his head, making his downy hair brush his bony shoulders. “Can you speak?” she asked, after touching a pale cheek. It was smooth and freckle free, unlike Reece’s dotted cheeks.92

The boy cocked his head to the side and drew his eyebrows down in confusion.93

“No huh?” She thought for a moment while he wolfed down the raw chicken. “Ok.” He raised his emerald green eyes to her face. His eyes were slightly deeper in this shape than in dragon form.94

“My name is Reece.” She patted herself on the chest. “Do you have a name?”95

Again he cocked his head and licked his fingers. His skin held a pale green color when the light hit it just right.96

“We you need a name. Let me think.” With a finger in the mouth, she sat there studying the strange being before her. She could hardly believe this child came from the egg she found in the basement of her apartment building.97

“I had a good friend in school named Hoyt. Do you like Hoyt?”98

“H-h-hoyttt,” he fumbled. “Hoyt.” He pointed to himself, smiling widely. Reece was relieved to see that the teeth looked like normal human’s teeth. “R-r-reesssse.”99

“Very good!” She clapped her hands together.100

* * * 101

Reece taught Hoyt, the boy dragon or dragon in human form, from that day forward. He learned to speak and to function in modern society. But at night and on weekends Liquid, the dragon, would teach Reece what being wild was all about. But that, my friends, is another story.102

Author notes

Alternate ending resubmitted because Andy asked.

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Comments

1 - 19 of 19

  • Myryca
    April 25
    Edit | Reply
    Hmm... I don't really get it. Why would the dragon/boy cocoon her then let her out? Why would he turn into a boy in the first place? I'm sort of left wondering why there was a dragon egg at the back of the laundry too.

    From what other people have said, I'm guessing your previous ending had Reece being eaten. I would have preferred that. Would have been more original. And probably would have made the story flow better and be less confusing. From the sounds of things, people didn't like Reece getting eaten. I would say that's because you made her too likable and too easy to relate to.


    There's quite a few places throughout where you seem to have left out minor details which makes the story seem to jump around a bit or not make sense.

    Otherwise it's not a bad write overall.

    language: 3, dialog: 4.


    • SageSyren Greeters member
      April 25
      Edit | Reply
      I chose this one because you said light hearted and Reece getting eaten isn't light hearted. Sorry you didn't get it or like it.
      Thanks for reading.

      Good contest though.
      Brooke

      • Myryca
        April 25

        Edit | Reply
        Heh, that's ok. When I said light hearted I meant more in terms of the style of writing (and humour) than the plot. No other entries so far are light hearted in that way either.

        Thanks for entering.

  • I like this happy ending =)

    I don't know what else to say though x.x because I just am glad you wrote an alternate ending to this brings back memories, and I'm making a new altered memory by reading Thank you, Brooke


  • tonialoise
    January 26

    Edit | Reply

    I hope you didn't change anything before the ending because I didn't reread the whole thing.

    hmmm... *scratches head* I guess others have already nitpicked your story for errors so you can skip most of this if you like, but I might have found some they haven't and vice versa.

    "As the sheet was being wrapped around Reece’s upper thighs" I don't quite understand this. wasn't it already wrapped as a cocoon?

    "Reece could see the white’s of his eyes," no apostrophe in "whites"

    "fitted sheet under here." s/b "her"

    "With feeling back in her finger’s " again, just plural no apostrophe also should have a comma after fingers.

    “Liquid, her Liquid,” since it's her talking, wouldn't she be saying "my" Liquid?

    I don't understand from a writing point of view, if he took a liking to her that easily why put her in the cocoon in the first place?

    "frig door" s/b fridge

    "transform into a boy” needs a comma after boy

    "Scrambling up onto her feet," Did I miss something? When was she knocked off her feet?

    "The shook his head, " s/b "He shook..."

    “We you need a name." s/b "Well,"



    To be honest I don't really care for the extended ending here.

    I like stories sometimes that give the reader a little flexibility to imagine what really did happen. I don't mean cliffhangers but just enough info to make you say "hmmmm... did that really end the way it looks?"

    Though with the other ending it was pretty sure she'd be eaten. But we didn't really know that and now we know better but it almost feels like a cop out (sorry but it's the best term I can think of at the moment)

    I also liked that it wasn't a "happy ending." So many stories do depend upon a happy ending. I myself normally like them, but sometimes it doesn't feel appropriate. (1984 is my best favorite example of a sad ending that makes one upset but it's the most appropriate ending) This one I think the unhappy ending was more appropriate even if it was sad.

    Ok, I'll end my rant on endings Sorry if I hijacked this. Really though it is your story and you wrote what you felt was right so it must be

    I didn't mind this added bit, really. It is very nice on its own and had I not read the other version would have been just as happy with it It was a sweet ending and I liked how you said they taught each other.

    So again well done!


  • Valkyrie silver member
    October 29, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    I think I like this ending more for its happiness.


  • Shimmerfairy
    October 26, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    YAY

    He's good! Just misunderstood him in the other ending! Thankyou for showing me this version...its a shame its over 2000 words!!
    Great writing!!

    • SageSyren Greeters member
      October 26, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      That was part of the reason I didn't submit this one. But I'm glad you liked it.

      Good luck with your contest.


  • LilClaudya
    October 21, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Worth reading!

    That was great Brooke. I liked how you discribe things. I always tell people who ask me advice on writing to try and paint a picture. Both stories I have read of yours you are masterful at that! I did see a few oops typo's. The kind like you missed a S in she and that kind of thing. That happens when you get on a roll. Its sometimes hard to catch them cause your eye wants to automatically fill them in. I am sure with fresh eyes you will see them.

    *hugs* great story Brooke!

    Kristen

    • SageSyren Greeters member
      October 21, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      I am typo queen!!!!!

      Ok, enough of me...glad you liked the story. This last part was written in a rush and so it feels like it. That's what happens when Brookie decides to do a contest and then forgets about it

      Oh well, I am glad you enjoyed it. What are we seeing something of yours?


  • Anaya Roma
    October 20, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    BIG SMILE!

    Hello Brooke! I'm happy to see you didn't give up on this story. I read the previous version. I know Andy likes horror, murder, mischief, and mayhem, but I like happy endings.
    Some little suggestions:
    When she looked close the spots were raised stars, metallic green and blue in color. I'd say when she looked closely.
    Into the basket he loaded the egg carefully. I known you meant SHE.
    In this sentence I'd take out the commas. Around her an overstuffed floral recliner, she’d found at a second-hand shop, loomed to the left. Also, "loomed to the left" seems to be in a strange place. Perhaps you could say it this way: To her left there loomed an overstuffed floral recliner she'd found at a second-hand shop.
    After two damn its, I was surprised to see her say oh, my word. Maybe it's just me.
    Only three burners worked and the fan has never worked since she moved in three years ago.34 The fan had, right?
    I think you should remove the comma in this sentence: The girls down at the office where she worked, all had manicured nails and often they laughed at her.
    Bigwigs is one word.
    But she passed it without a glance and into the bathroom. In this sentence I'd put a verb before into the bathroom: walked, went, slipped, continued?
    There sat the eggs salvation, a claw footed, white, porcelain tub.39 In this sentence eggs needs an apostrophe.

    The hum had changed to a sweet, soothing melody. “Oh I see you like this idea. Ok then,” she called out the door, “how to deep you above the water?” 40 There's something missing here "how deep you above the water" How deep do you like the water? How high above the water should I put you? How much water do I put in the tub? How high should the water level be?

    Her hand touched the clothes stuffed around the egg and an idea popped into her head. Quickly she ran through her cluttered living room and down to the dark and damp casement.42
    I think you mean BASEMENT here and not casement.

    “Well it doesn’t quite fit but at least it will beep you above the water and the steam will keep you warm. Not beep but keep. But then it would be keep twice in the same sentence. How about "at least this will hold you above the water and the steam will keep you warm"?

    As the water level rose so did the air in the tube. Somehow this doesn't make sense. Let me see... The water level in the tub rose while she continued filling the tube with air.

    And as the tube filled her mind wandered to the egg. I'd put a comma after filled because the first time I read this sentence it sounded as though the tube had filled her mind. So "And as the tube filled, her mind wandered (back?) to the egg.

    It was almost too hot to breath. I know you mean breathe.

    In this sentence there is something missing:
    “Phew, are you?” She asked studying the sides of the basket.57 I think you probably meant, phew, how heavy are you?

    Capitalize Collie.

    Here again it should be breathe: The air around the scaled creature shimmered and became misty. Reece could feel the heaviness of the air, making it hard to breath.

    Silent tears ran down her freckled. Cheeks.67 freckled cheeks.

    She knew he had learned to breath fire from the smoldering smoke that curled up from his snout.71 Again breathe. I know you know the verb to breathe, and breath is the air you inhale or exhale.

    As the sheet was being wrapped around Reece’s upper thighs, feeling returned to her fingers and she twitched them. Slowly the pin and needle sensation lessened and she gripped the fitted sheet under here.74 Under HER.

    With feeling back in her finger’s she tried her mouth. No apostrophe needed for fingers here.

    He, she assumed the dragon was a male, was so close Reece could see the white’s of his eyes, with the reptilian slits of simmering green.79 No apostrophe for whites here.

    “Liquid, her Liquid,” I think you mean "here Liquid", right?

    Reece sat down with her back to the frig door. The gentle hum of the dragon and the frig mingled to make a soothing melody.9 FRIDGE.

    I'D LOVE TO HEAR "THE OTHER STORY".....!!!!!


    Anaya Roma




    beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.

    • SageSyren Greeters member
      October 21, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Wow!!! Well I haven't really looked at this is awhile so I'm not surprised at all the errors. Thank you and I will look into getting those alllllllll fixed

      Thanks again
      Brooke


  • playjazz67
    October 20, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    OK, have to say this was certainly but a little slow. I wanted the egg to hurry up and hatch --- maybe just a lack of patience. Certainly good writing as it did hold my interest.

    A few errors:

    3rd paragraph: "expecting it to farther down." Huh?

    "She liked the way she ----- had been washed in this." "this ------ uhhh, needs maybe one more word to complete the sentence because it feels incomplete, at least to me.

    "How to deep (keep) you above the water?"

    If you read carefully there are some spelling mistakes such as char for chair, etc. but I'm certain you will catch those.

    In any case it was the end that hurt. Read all the way through and then you rushed the good part. Booooooooo...... LOL

    Jim

    • SageSyren Greeters member
      October 20, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      This last part wasn't really part of the story to begin with. I added it only after I read some contest. So I can see where you would think it stunk at the end

      Thanks for reading Jim

      Brooke


  • Andy Stephenson gold member
    October 19, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Hi Brooke

    I still like the original ending best in which the dragon is preparing to eat her. Having read the alternate ending again, I remember that I'd read it before. It's good, but I think the original version is better. Thanks for posting these for me.

    I've added the original version to the list of stories under consideration for the Anthology.

    Andy


    • SageSyren Greeters member
      October 19, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Wow!!! Thanks Andy. I am truly humbled by your announcement

      Yay! me!

      Brooke

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