A clock ticked silently on the mantle. Its face was the palest of the three faces in the room, faintly reflecting what light strained through the dusk. The other two faces turned towards each other, nestled in silence. The ticking of the clock and the quiet rustling of heavy curtains were sighs in an empty house.1
On a striped couch rested a young woman. Her hair was loosely framing her face, and her legs made a carefully adjusted bowl in her lap. She was perfectly still, her fingertips made light little circles in time with the clock. Carefully tucked away against her breast was a small nose. Above the nose were two long lashed eyes, lidded with sleep. A soft and messy tangle of hair topped the child's head and tickled the woman's neck when he moved. Chubby legs and arms slumped securely at his sides, and his little striped wool shirt rasped against his mother's finger nails. Even in sleep, the boy's breathing was twice as fast as the young woman's, and her lungs provided the harmony to the whispering melody of his breaths and the room's sighing. 2
She sat quietly in the dusk of the room, watching the day pass away. As life that she had created renewed itself in her arms, she asked the twilight "is this the reason I live?"
On a striped couch rested a young woman. Her hair was loosely framing her face, and her legs made a carefully adjusted bowl in her lap. She was perfectly still, her fingertips made light little circles in time with the clock. Carefully tucked away against her breast was a small nose. Above the nose were two long lashed eyes, lidded with sleep. A soft and messy tangle of hair topped the child's head and tickled the woman's neck when he moved. Chubby legs and arms slumped securely at his sides, and his little striped wool shirt rasped against his mother's finger nails. Even in sleep, the boy's breathing was twice as fast as the young woman's, and her lungs provided the harmony to the whispering melody of his breaths and the room's sighing. 2
She sat quietly in the dusk of the room, watching the day pass away. As life that she had created renewed itself in her arms, she asked the twilight "is this the reason I live?"
Author notes
she to whom this is dedicated
knows that it is dedicated to her
and she is free to make corrections as to the state of the faces and of the room.
all others are limited to grammatical corrections only.
k thanx.
Actually, minus the clock, this would be a great Andromache/Astanyx story, when she's mourning Hector but hoping for her son's future.
Comments
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Hmm... I think I almost cried right now...
Thanks for continuing the thought I had. I don't feel like you should change anything.
"Even in sleep, the boy's breathing was twice as fast as the young woman's, and her lungs provided the harmony to the whispering melody of his breaths and the room's sighing."
This is something I focus on a lot- breathing when people are trying to fall asleep. It's beautiful how you describe it.
You somehow manage to make it sound a bit darker at the end, when you turn it into a question. But I don't mind. I question things a lot.
Thank you soooooooooo much you've made me feel great today!

