Gotham Love: Miss Toxic *Chapter 2*

The pimple-faced cashier watched the girl in the canned goods aisle, the cute-as-a-button blonde one in a lime pink tracksuit, her glossy lips pursed into a smile as she hummed pleasantly, shopping cart overflowing with pasta, vegetables and fruit. The nerdy cashier's knees started to wobble as she approached, fluffy blonde pigtails bouncing with every little step she took. 1

"Hello there, beautiful", he croaked, adam's apple jerking up and down. "How are you doing today?"2

"I'm feeling pretty perky", the blonde beauty said. She plucked a long cucumber from her cart, running manicured fingernails up and down its length sensually. "I've always found these vegetables to be so...suggestive. Don't ya think?"3

"Uhhmm yeah...you...uhmm...are you doing something tonight?"4

"Sorry, pal. Number one: you're not my type, number two; I already have a boyfriend who treats me right." 5

"Does he treat you right, honey? What's that mark you got covered up so much on your chin?"6

Harley touched the scar Joker had given her the day before. All of a sudden the memory of the blade piercing her skin, his hot, excited breath in her ear made her heart skip a beat. She knew Joker had given her that scar as a symbol of their love; not as some ugly blemish that was meant to hurt and demean her. Even though she had never actually HEARD him say "I love you", Harley was certain that her darling had some feelings for her, especially that time when his gloved hand stroked her thigh...7

"Your total comes to one hundred thirty-five."8

"Know anywhere I can buy some flowers?" Harley asked as she punched in her credit card numbers, a corkscrew lock of blonde hair brushing her cheek as she looked up at the cashier, round blue eyes glaring into his stupified brown ones. 9

"Uhh, yeah there's actually a nursery across from Burger King. They have pretty nice bouquets there, but I've heard that the plants and stuff are expensive because they wrap them up in really fine tissue paper and most of the plants are super rare. I even saw a rose the size of a football growing in a greenhouse - the cute redhead that works there said it's an abnormal plant and she helped it grow." 10

"Cool", Harley said, collecting her groceries. "Well, thanks for telling me."11

"Have a nice day." He blew a kiss at her, sighing in wonder as his heartthrob walked out the store in a delicious, hip-rocking strut. 12

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~13

She parked the old peasoup-colored Ford Taurus in front of Bloomingdale Nursery. It was a lovely little shop heavily scented with violets, peonies, ice white roses, and exotic plants that had acidic, yellowish goo that oozed from their stems. Harley examined the venus flytraps, which opened and closed with the speed and ferocity of rabbit snares when she poked at them, smiling at their toothy green jaws in wonder. What Harley needed was a gorgeous bouquet of bright, fresh purple flowers for Joker. After all, she had heard all about romance in a relationship, how something as simple as a candle-lit dinner could draw a couple together, making them as horny as jack rabbits. Ah, well this was an intimate affair anyways, and Harley couldn't help but fantasize Joker doing nasty, naughty things to her with that perverse lipsticked mouth of his. Hopefully some flowers would cheer her puddin up...after a day of blowing up buildings, cars, robbing banks and stealing priceless necklaces; Joker HAD to be mentally and physically exhausted. 14

Harley, deep in thought, found herself staring blankly at some fiery orange lilies when a tall, strikingly good-looking young woman hurried towards her in stilettos. The woman had a full, flowing mane of luxurious dark red hair, emerald green eyes and lips that shimmered with a pale green lipstick. 15

"Hi, my name's Ivy. Can I help you with anything?"16

"Do you have any nice flowers?" Harley asked, taken aback still by Ivy's surreal beauty. "Like, you know, a bouquet of pretty flowers that I could give to my boyfriend or something - purple is his favorite color, but I'm not exactly sure what to look for."17

"Flowers are life's most precious gifts", Ivy whispered darkly, caressing a hot pink tulip. "Roses are passion, poppies capture the meaning of death, irises symbolize resurrection as well as the stars, and daisies are innocence. You see, the nursery isn't just a place where I make a living to sell plants - it is my home. It lets me sing and dance and talk to my children, watch them grow, see them bloom in the sunlight or wilt in the rainfall."18

"The flowers are your children?" Harley asked skeptically.19

"All plants are", Ivy said, suddenly tracing Harley's lips with the pink tulip. "Gotham City needs to be purified. It is destroying everything that is green and grows from the earth. My children are being trampled and killed, all because of the selfish human race, their narrow-minded shitty lives eat up nature, they pollute the sky and wipe out the plants with their vehicles and buildings. I'm secretly a botanist from Seattle, and my real nickname is "Poison Ivy" since I use toxins from my plants and body to protect the environment from human filth. It looks like you have a secret of your own...what's with the scar? Seems vaguely familar."20

"My name is Harley Quinn. I'm Joker's mistress and he gave me the scar as a symbol of our love; I can't live a day without thinking about him."21

"He abuses you, but you still love him?"22

Harley nodded. "Yes, he's all I got in this world."23

"Sounds like you need a vacation", Ivy sighed. "You see my lips?"24

"That doesn't look like lipstick. I bet it's some lethal toxin, right? If you kiss someone they'll die."25

"You got that right, sister. Killed lots of pervs with these lips."26

Harley laughed. "If only we could kill Bruce Wayne."27

"I read about him in the papers, he's a big hotshot, owns practically every resturaunt and club in Gotham, cleans up the city like its nothing. Crime doesn't matter, I've stolen lots of diamonds in my time - still do - sometimes you need to break a few rules to get what you want in life. I have purple roses up at the front, don't ask my why they're purple I just injected a chemical in them and they came out ravishing. You have room for another villain?"28

"Mistah J would be pleased", Harley squealed in delight. "Sweet, so you have superpowers AND you care about the environment? That's totally epic."29

"My dear, I care more about our friends the plants more than my own life; they mean and are everything to me. Maybe one day I can destroy Gotham myself to make it understand all the harm it's inflicting on nature. For now, I'll just get ya those roses."30

"Free?" Harley beamed.31

"Free", Ivy smiled, pulling her close. 32

33