They told me I couldn't do it - that I didn't have the guts, I wasn't strong enough, or I couldn't kill; they’ve all said a lot of things I’ve proven wrong. 1
As I sat cross-legged on the blood-stained grass, a thought occurred to me: People hate violence and will go on protest marches - 'end war' or 'don't hurt the animals’ - but when you ogle their girlfriend, socking you one is on the top of things to do… so illogical. 2
I swung my sledgehammer down at a movement on the grass in front of me, listening with ecstasy to the squelch as it contacted exposed flesh – I hate mice...
Author notes
Something I wonder about, people will happily write stories about people being brutally murdered, raped, abused, etc, and enjoy reading such stories, but you write a story where an animal gets hurt - even something as small as a mouse - people dislike it. Why? Why are animals lives valued more then a humans these days? I bet if I was smashing a persons head in in this, people would like it more then that I killed a mouse. 
Sad.
Another point: People justify abortion (the murdering of poor, defenceless, helpless human babies) saying it's not really a human at that stage, so it's OK. But killing an animal is BAD. What the hell?? Hypocrisy!
But don't get me wrong, I am by no means a cruel person, and don't go around hurting animals - but I don't people either. I just don't understand why people think like that.
Thanks TallBlondie for pre-post read and suggestions. 
Option 4? Think is the one I picked for this. Because that's what the story is supposed to make you do. Hope you 'enjoy'.
Enjoy!
In a list
A contest entry
- Story in only Three Sentences by Stryke.
550 points, ended October 16, 2008, 29 entries
Honorable winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Short and Sweet by WritersEffigy.
175 points, ended October 24, 2008, 25 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Prompts!!!-A contest with most anything! by SaccharineMini.
400 points, ended November 10, 2008, 12 entries
Honorable winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Less is more by moonwriter.
2200 points, ended November 2, 2008, 20 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Things I Look For In A Good Write by beezy92.
450 points, ended January 1, 72 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
A honest critique that is helpful is the best critique.
Comments
1 - 59 of 59
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You have a point, I have often thought the same way! I love your ideas on it and the way you worte it!
This is awesome! Sorry if I seem a little imature but this is soooo well writen!!!
~Cat
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Sucks for you. I ♥ mice. This left me with mixed feelings...I'm anti-war person myself and I loathe violence but I don't frown on some guy defending his girlfriend's (long as one did more than ogling) honor. But it was a good write. Definitely thought-provoking and unexpected. Thanks for entering and good luck in the contest.
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Well, gotta understand with this that most of it is metaphor, I'm not necessarily attacking any of the things in the story. Like the girl-friend bit, I'm not against defending womens honour, it was meant to portray people who say they don't like violence but don't hesitate to beat you up if things don't go their way. I was just pressed for words in this, only had three sentences to write it all in.
Same goes for the mouse, it's a sad example of how little people value human life that they get more riled up about a story killing an animal then they do about a gory horror story (not saying this is you, just commenting).
Anyway, glad you enjoyed it.
If it made you think, then my job here is done.
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Good on you. Smash that little sucker into the ground. I hate mice. Who cares if a mouse dies anyway. They carry disease and breed like freaking rabbits. If city peoples home were overrun with mice, they'd change their tune right quick. lol I agree wholeheartedly. People care more for animals than they do for humans. I don't like it one bit. I don't want animals to suffer but for goodness sake there is a reason they are below us on the food chain. We should show as much concern for the sick and elderly who are suffering in pain at the end of their life. While we humanely put a dog or cat down who suffers. We allow people with terminal illnesses to suffer way longer than they should. Holy crap you hit me on a good night. I'd better stop here, cause I'm like the energizer bunny, I'll go on.. and on.. and on.
Best of the season to you. Thank you for such a meaningful and thought provoking story.
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hm..
For all that I know (which isn't much really...) I agree with you. You make a very profound point about this matter. Yes, why should people care more about the lives of mice over that of our own species? Why would they be okay with abortion, and upset over the death of mice? Don’t get me wrong, if it was killing an endangered species then that’s totally different, but mice? That’s like saying “It’s okay to kill a black guy, but you go to jail for assaulting a white man.” The idiocy in some matters never cease to surprise me. Anyway, this was a good piece. The ways that you see things are very…intriguing.
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I agree and disagree, I think killing an animal much more cruel than performing an abortion. The fetus/embryo does not feel pain, while most animals instinctively fear pain more than anything else. While neither animals nor feti can be said to think in the human sense of the word, at least animals have instincts, while the fetus only acts on reflexes.
But of course the safety and well-being of (born) humans is a hundred times more important than that of animals. -
Hated the story
Loved the author notes -
I agree!
People seem to care more for animals than humans. Like, there is this one commercial I see on tv all the time with the singer Sara Mclachlan, she's trying to get everyone to save tortured and homeless animals, and I'm thinking, 'Wait a sec, why does everybody rescue animals, yet there're people every day being hurt or starving or treated unequally.'
I know we should care for animals--which I do--but the safety and welfare of humans are far more important.=)
(And I hate reading about people being murdered or bludgeoned to death...a lot of users on SW get off on that.) -
I think people think of animal's lives as innocent. An animal cannot have sinful, hurtful thoughts, as supposedly it cannot think on that degree of thinking. I'm one of the many that when reading a story always feel worse for the animal than the characters that die! The Amytivelle Horror is a classic example of this - when he kills the dog
I was more upset about that, then when he tries to kill his own family!
I agree about the abortion point as well - I dont agree with it, but I know a few people that have had them and their reasons for having them can be accepted.
A very thought-provoking piece.
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Okay this made me cringe. lol. Good job. That's a very good question , though. Why aren't animals valued as high? I love animals and hate the idea of someone abusing them. Very thought provoking. Good job.
. Rewarded 4
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I did enjoy it. Think is exactly what you made me do. You make some very good points, and I agree with you. Some things are illogical. A very good and enjoyable story. Thanks for entering and good luck.
-Renesme-
. Rewarded 4
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Excellent
I agree!
Protect the living things and yet humans don't count! Greatest humans enemy is ourselves. You did a wonderful job in expressing thoughts!
Excellent job!
. Rewarded 4
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i think that people dislike animals being killed more than humans cuz animals are innocent unlike us. Also i agree with your view on abortion; its murder, why cant anyone see that.
. Rewarded 4
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ogle? i like this. yeah the whole abortion thing has so many views yet people don't address it they just protest making fur coats.
. Rewarded 4
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Hey, Red Riding Hood is still quite popular with the kids! and the wolf was stuffed up with stones and drowned in that one!
See, just like one-sided relationships don't work in romance, i don't think they should be allowed in motherhood also. I believe that people should be allowed to have abortions provided they don't use it as birth control.
Also, people may not write about animals being murdered, but the truth is, it happened. Contrary to what you think, people do value human lives over animal lives.
It's just that no one ever has the guts to say they do.
. Rewarded 8
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So very true...
People don't react unless it's personal...lol then usually it's a "knee-jerk" reaction!!
Great write!
write on!
. Rewarded 4
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This story holds a lot of logic and things not so logical. I do agree that people do tend to look the other way when a human is murdered or hurt, mostly adults, but when a child get murdered or kidnap or even an animals that makes the riot to stand up.
To point out abortion: It should be the mothers choice if she dosen't feel responsible enough to give birth and raise a child, and adopt the child away here in Norway is like giving it a life of hell. I myself have been trough it, and here you can't get permanently adopted away to a family and stay there. You live there for a few years then move to a new family, depending on how old you are you move around until you are a teenager, then you move to a shelter.
I was so lucky to move out of the shelter and into my own apartment at a age of 18, but I still have the children society hanging over my shoulders until I am 23. They have taken my rights, and I have nothing to say. Even tho I am an adult, I can't do anything you can.
For example:
I am not allowed to move, they decide how many times a year I can see my real family, they also decides if I can have friends from school over or not, They decides when I can start up the drivers license training, I am not allowed to enjoy alcohole, they decide how much money I may spend each month and so on. All in all, a living hell.
So I am voting fòr abortion, if you can't take care of the child, or other personal things get in the way of the child's well being, then don't give birth for the system dosen't work!
. Rewarded 8
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Thank you for taking the time to read and comment.
Is it the mother's choice to take an innocent life? If she doesn't feel responsible enough to have a kid then she shouldn't go around bedding guys. Harsh, I know. And that, of course, doesn't cover things like being raped. In that case, I have no idea what one should do. I never have, and never will stand for abortion, no matter the circumstances, it's murder.
You're situation is sad, and I'm really sorry you've had to - and still go through it. I don't think it's fair you have to go through it. But at the end of the day, would you rather have never lived in the first place?
Thanks again for reading, commenting, and the applause, it is much appreciated.
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Well, I do agree to you that abortion is murder, but I wouldn't want another child go trough what I am now, but of course I am grateful that I am alive.
This is a topic that is though provoking and offends many, but I stand on mine.
And thank you for rating and rewarding me ^_^ I soon got enough for a contest. -
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Mmm. I see your point, but I can't help but thinking that it's better to live then to not. Plus there's the moral bit to it all, ah-hah.
It may offend, but as long as it offends for the right reason - making people see their inconsistency - I'm OK with that. Haha. That said, I have my faults, and my inconsistencies, and I hope to get 'wake up calls' on them too.
I'm glad you didn't take what I said the wrong way, there are so many people that'd have jumped down my throat for saying that, so your nice responses are appreciated.
Indeed, thank you for commenting in the first place.
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Hehe, there is always two sides of a story. I don't like jumping at people, everyone is allowed to have they're own opinion whatever it may be.
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I see your point but...although we've all seen TV and movie violence to the nth degree...and we members of the audience seem to "enjoy" a good, violent, bloody battle or encounter, have you ever witnessed a real fight on the street or public establishment...where one of the "combatants" simply/only gets a blood-drawing smack in the nose? A little thing...hardly fare enough for a prime-time cop show on TV...but, as the blood gushes down the guy's face...or one or two teeth hang loose...or gets spit out...let me assure you the queezy feeling and the sympathy you feel for the smacked, virtually in-shock, guy will be far greater than whatever you may have felt for the dead mouse. The difference being most PEOPLE have RARELY ever seen CLOSE-UP and PERSONAL...real man-to-man physical violence. It's truly pretty disgusting and shocking. So...you don't have all the evidence here at hand to make the judgement. Most people ARE turned off by this kind of violence, real gore, and human death. We're really all not that callous a society.
And by the way...another "reality check:" I don't think you could find a mouse who would sit before you long enough for you to bring a sledge-hammer down on its little head. They're too fast!
GA. Rewarded 8
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Thanks for the comment Gary.
FYI, I have seen CLOSE-UP and PERSONAL violence, I been the one with the blood pouring down my face.
And I know of people who will calmly watch someone have the brains beaten out of them, but when a diseased pigeon is mercifully killed in front of them they go ballistic. And of women who have murdered their child, also go ballistic when an animal is killed (chicken for food in this case). And I can probably go on. I have all the evidence I need for this story, Gary. Not to mention that people will still hate it when they see an animal 'hurt' in a movie, or read it in a book (like the above story), but in the same breath go on about how great it was to see that guy's brains smashed out on the same video.
On the mouse, it's not that hard, actually. It's called bait, aiming for where the mouse will be, not where it is, and moving fast. All of which, in this case, this character can more then manage. Plus the fact that the sledgehammer is a symbol. I didn't write it to be technically possible, it's supposed to make the reader wince at the thought.
Thanks for reading and commenting.
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When I started reading this, I have to admit I was pretty terrified and yet pretty enchanted with the way you described it. I thought the character was actually sitting there hacking up a person-I love the way you lead the reader to believe that and then the last line just made me laugh out loud. I'm surprised I didn't wake my dad.
Well, good luck in the contest. Interesting read on your opinions, too. I never thought about it that deeply.
. Rewarded 8
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A bit odd because you criticise human behaviour at its most natural progression. All women love a fascist and all men live to torture their fellow men. Nazi Germany taught us this, so your confusion is at best weird and at worst totally misinformed.
. Rewarded 4
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I dunno what circles you move in (Nazi support groups?) but I don't know any women who love (or even like) fascists, or any guys who live to torture 'fellow men'.
Methinks the only one here who is confused is yourself, I am in perfect clarity on the matter.
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thanks for thr reply. I was just stating historical fact about human nature. I dont really move in any 'circles' myself as all groups do is exclude, so i would never join one, even one as worthy as the anti Nazi league
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bravo.
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I was actually listening to a podcast recently where they were discussing this same thing. Their ultimate conclusion was that the cuter an animal is, the harder it is to get away with killing them. If I remember right, they put kittens right at the top of the cute list - you have to have a darn good reason to kill something as cute as a kitten. I could try to find the podcast for you, if you're interested - they had a cuteness/killability scale all worked out and everything. *laughs*
Personally, I think there are a couple of things going on. People (or most people, anyways) have an innate need to protect things that can't take care of themselves. (I could get into the psychology of that too - it makes humans feel powerful to help those with less power than they have - but I digress ). That's why when helpless animals are killed, people react negatively - just like with helpless babies. Adult humans, who are considered competitors, at least have a fighting chance. Notice how strong animals who are given a chance to fight back aren't mourned as much as the defenseless field mice you're bopping on the head?
Sorry, that was a bit of a long prelude. *laughs* The piece itself was both thought-provoking and funny - an impressive combination. You have a lot of jumpy punctuation and sentence syntax, but none of it is incorrect; actually, it kind of adds to the feeling of madness surrounding your character. My only complaint is that the ending seemed just a little abrupt. I think you could have added one more sentence before "I hate mice" and it would have strengthened the ending a bit. It's a bit of a turn, so you don't want to rush it.
Thanks for the morning brain-starting activity - my reply is definitely longer than the story itself. *laughs*
. Rewarded 8
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I'd love to hear that Podcast, so if you wouldn't mind finding it, it be much appreciated. Though I gotta admit, I -hate- cats. Puppies, now puppies I'd stick at hardest to kill, or baby seals, but not kittens.
Yeah, that sounds like a reasonable suggestion. And come to think of it, it is the defenceless animals that are over-defended. Haha.
Incase you hadn't realised, I wrote the piece for a contest asking for three sentences, so only three sentences it has. That's why it's so jumpy, and lots of funky punctuation. I had Blondie help me with that. I'll think about that sentence, but I do rather like how it's turned out. Changing things I'm afraid it might spoil the... I dunno, uniqueness of the piece? Anyway.
You're welcome for the mental athletics, the pleasure is all mine.
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Hey Dan, Thanks for reminding me that I have to reset my mouse trap!!! I liked the twist at the end. I have never understood some people’s excessive need to exert ‘animal rights’. Maybe it’s because I was raised on a farm. I agree that people shouldn’t torture animals (or humans – unless it’s for a good reason ha ha ). In my humble opinion, I would much rather the doctors and drug companies experiment on mice or whatever they need to in order to hone their medical skills or create a drug to save lots of human lives. I’ve never got the whole Green Peace Philosophy. I still laugh when I think of all those people marching out to save the baby seals. (This was back when poaching baby seals for their beautiful white fur was fashionable.) The ‘saviors’ went out and spray painted the baby seals with a bright orange paint that wouldn’t wash off in order to make their furs worthless on the market, thereby negating the poaching of the baby seals. Did nobody tell those folks that baby seals were born WHITE for a reason? The polar bears had a feast that year!
Anyway, you should know that humans are not always the most logical of creatures. Some people treat their dogs with more compassion than they do their own children.
Thanks for giving me three sentences to ponder upon – and thanks for the reminder about the mouse trap!
. Rewarded 8
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Okay...I like this. I love dark stuff at any rate and I entered the same contest but went with romance instead. I love your entry mate.
. Rewarded 4
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A very good point indeed and I agree. I'm against hurting people or animals, but people more than animals. I don't eat meat, kill animals, kill people, hurt people... but still I'll write about it, read about it. Actually I find it more concerning when people write about killing people in such a way that it bring vivity to the subject. Abortion is wrong, just had to point that out.
The story, now that I'm done ranting about my views, is wonderfully for three sentences. I' point out that they seem to be very long sentences if you hadn't stated that this had been writen for a contest. My favorite sentence is the very last part of the second, a good point. I think this could make a very thoughtful and descriptive short story.
Overall you made a wonderful observation in three long sentences.
Phoenix
. Rewarded 8
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I liked it. I liked the point you made, and the enormously long sentences you used so that you could get away with only using three sentences but saying a hell of a lot!
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Ok...that was...strange...I guess it had a point but still.....strange XP
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Very true. I liked how you cleverly presented the human condition and then provided a situation that prompts a reaction in the reader. This, in turn, reinforces the assertion in the previous sentence that human reactions are often illogical.
I agree - many people often see violence against animals as more abhorrent than violence against fellow humans - that human life is regarded as so cheap.
Kudos for bringing this often controversial issue to light.
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You would make a good political writer.
Hi Dan, I certainly was surprised by the fact you were able to cram an opening, a plot, and an ending into three paragraphs and have it make sense
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Nice job. But you mean thing—beating that poor ‘wittle’ mouse.
As to the narrative, I don’t imagine you wanted us to review that. I noticed people had though. So I feel obligated to comment.
You would make a good political writer. You lay out a fine case, and back it up with logic.
Humans have become desensitized to the violence portrayed on screens or pages, but I think they still react to the sight of actual violence. Have you ever watched the group that gathers and attempts to intervene when an argument breaks out—and that’s just verbal.
Auto accidents draw large crowds and fights rarely remain one on one for long.
Hidden abuse like abortion and the death penalty we do tend to treat as fiction. Probably because we can’t do anything about them—we can’t even vote them down so we ignore them.
What can I say, 'That's the American way.'
Geri
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Hey Dan...
I liked it. These quirky "a-ha" observations are often the sustenance of what makes my brain go "Hmmmmmm" as I often wonder "why is that?" and then set about trying to discover why. Just one suggestion, Dan: if you're going to pose the question, also proffer a possible answer. Life is filled with quandaries, yet very few answers, and sometimes the most revelatory of writes as to human nature stems from humanity's attempts to answer these questions.
Why do I think people are like this? Because people see animals as innocent beings devoid of choice or conscience. Personally, I beg to differ. Every living creature functions on the fulfillment of need and we are no exception. One animal kills another to defend it's territory, or to protect it's mating rights, or it's young, or it's feeding rights, or its self, or for food, or because it woke up early and its pissed off. Animals are just as temperamental and moody as we are. Fancy that, because we are all animals. Now, why would anyone kill a mouse with a sledge hammer? Because for some, taking a life makes them feel powerful, it fulfills a need for control. Animals do the same thing and if they (predatory animals) have something smaller and weaker at their disposal they will dispatch it for amusement.
Personally I think people deceive themselves in thinking they are so far removed from their animal brethren. Study the rituals of animals and then liken them to humans and there are many interesting parallels. We have plumage and display it to attract the opposite sex:clothing/fashion. We have mating calls: music/singing. We respond to certain colors the same way a hummingbird is drawn to certain flowers for nectar: "Oooo, I love flowers and beautiful sunsets. We get violent when people don't respect the lines we draw in the sand regarding mating rights: someone comes on to your girl and you send 'em packing or a fight ensues. Every physiological response in us has a parallel in the animal kingdom.
I personally think people are desensitized to violence against their kind. Mebbe if we watched hours and hours of television and played hours and hours of video games portraying violence against animals it would be easier to take. But we don't, so it isn't. We have become desensitized to human suffering and it's made us a hard lot. A perfect example of this is how the affluent will donate tons of cash for an animal shelter, but women and children in Africa can be hacked to pieces and they won't give a dime. It comes down to selfishness. People who give for and care about animals have animals. These pets fill a need in a person's life and so they return the favor for that benefit received, they have compassion for these animals because they've recieved unconditional compassion from them first. It's a trade. Animals are a source of comfort to many lonely people who've a desire to give and recieve affection. Animals do something special for people, so they in turn care for them. We love what we know. This is a perfect reason not to be so insular in our knowledge of the world. People are insular because they don't want to care about anything more than themselves.
Anyway, I liked this read because it sparks thought and got me to writing, something I always enjoy. I've always felt that the duty of the writer, to point humanity to the many a-ha moments of life that deserve contemplation and consideration. Good job, dan.
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Hehe, I told Blondie I was expected a reply at least three times the length of my story from you, got six times!
I don't give a possible answer 'cause I want to hear others, I want them to think of one. Key word there, I want them to think. If I give my answer, then most will just read the question, read the answer, then rant at me 'cause they disagree. This way, I make them think, and if they go off at me 'cause of the question, they just prove my point. If they wanna know my answer they can IM me and I'll tell 'em.
When you think about it, killing a mouse with a sledge hammer is more human then a mouse trap. Because when you get one of those swinging, the mouse wouldn't feel a thing as it's made pancake thin.
I knew you enjoy something juicy to think over, which is why I told you about this one. Glad you enjoyed it, tis a pleasure to please.
*Goes off to think up another controversial subject to write about for Al.*
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Because we have been so desensitized to the taking of a human life, it seems that have been reduced to transferring our angst and reserving our horror for the death of animals. This is such a sad state of affairs.
Your work is thought provoking and challenges us to review what is in our minds to see if it matches what is in our hearts.
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Wow!!! Dan this nothing like I'm use to by you, but I think you did a brillant job with just three sentences.
I think that people more upset with animals dying then with people because 'supposely' animals aren't able to defend themselves like humans are. I wonder if that applies to babies too?
Anyways, great job and I think you deserved better then a honorable mention
Brooke -
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Hehe, yeah, decided to go dark. 'Cause the contest asked for dark. But still got my brand of black humour in it.
Yes, that's a point. People justify abortion saying it's not really a human at that stage, so it's OK. But killing an animal is BAD. What the hell?? Hypocrisy!
Personally I thought I might get a bit higher too.
But the person who hosted loves animals. Should have smashed the chars girlfriends head in. Would have been loved then...
Anyway...
Thanks for reading and commenting!
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Excellent.
I'm always glad when someone points out our ridiculous tendencies when it comes to violence. (My friend has a button on her messenger bag that says, "Why do we kill people who kill people to show that killing people is wrong?")
It was also very well-written. ^^
. Rewarded 6
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Thank you. :)
I hate hypocrisy, so I love pointing it out to everyone. Even better when other people can see it too.
I expect I'll get some hate-mail from this. We shall see. If I do, it just reenforces my point.
Thank you very much for reading, commenting and applauding.
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Nice one Dan,
This is a good story and you are so right about peoples attitudes. In Britain the bleeding hearts will be up in arms over this but if you were doing people in your story you may even get a literary award!
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it is ok
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I have to agree on the whole animals lives seem to be valued more than humans sometimes. I like your story though, and its amazing what you can put into three sentances. Of course, long ones, but still.
I rather dislike mice too.
Love ya,
~Aura ♥
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Hoho, old boy, well swung there.
Here I thought you were going to kill a human, and then you whacked a mouse to Mouse Heaven.
Good issue you raise here, however - and kudos to you for that ... people can be so hypocritical sometimes. Especially when these sorts of things are concerned.
RJ
. Rewarded 6
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Hehe. Ta. Nothing like a lil twist, eh?
It's fun to write a thoughtful piece every now and then. Hopefully this will give some people pause for thought.
Thanks for reading, commenting and applauding!
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go go dan! I love your stories! Even if they are about killing... and about them animal-thing.. I agree.. But I don't like peoples... I don't know why. Anyway, good job! Keep winning comps!
. Rewarded 4
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I enjoyed your story and think you write really well. The image of the writer killing the mice was most vivid. And I also enjoy reading and writing about murder at its most foul, and if I have to, I'd also slaughter a few animals in the process too ... haha!
Well done!
Regards
Bernice DeLucchi. Rewarded 6
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Why thank you.
I must admit, most of my stories someone gets killed in. Just felt like doing something a bit different and thought-provoking today.
I'm glad you enjoyed this little tale.
Thank you for stopping by, reading and commenting!
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Poor mouse! I liked it until you squashed it. Great story, flawless grammar, i enjoyed it until the end. Thanks for entering.
You're a finalist
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Hehe. I suspected the mouse dying would not be popular. It's an interesting moral dilemma, people will happily write stories about people being brutally murdered, raped, abused, etc, and enjoy reading such stories, but you write a story where an animal gets hurt - even something as small as a mouse - people dislike it. Why?
Haha, sorry, just something that puzzles me, why are animals lives valued more then a humans these days?
Thanks for putting me in the finalists! Much appreciated.
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I would say for me it's because when you are smashing that mouse, they have no understanding of why you are doing it. I don't know why there is a softer look at animals than humans...but, to me there is. I hate animal cruelty. Something to think about i guess. who knows.
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Mmm. Did add that he hated mice. Plus sledge hammer is a very humane way to die, wouldn't have felt a thing.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not a cruel person, and do not hurt animals - but I don't humans either. I just don't understand how people can enjoy reading about abused fellow humans, and hate animals dying (in stories). *shrugs*
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right. thanks.
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Whoa, nice! Totally misleading and then wham (literally)! hee hee. One thing bugged me, and it may be simply because I'm short with little upper body strength: sitting crosslegged, I'd find it hard to swing a sledgehammer with enough accuracy and force to squish more than a grape (or my toe).
I'd need a more ready position if I were lurking in wait for a mouse. Also, why is the grass blood-stained? Or is that purposely left mysterious?
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Hehe. Glad you enjoyed.
*Goes and finds the sledge hammer to test if he can do it.* Yep, it's easy enough for me. But hey, I work in a metal working factory, lifting heavy stuff is something I do a bit of.
When i wrote it, I was actually thinking that the mouse had already been hit, and it was twitching. That or he'd already got a few mice. xD
Eitherway... thanks for reading and commenting.
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