Myriads of angels gathered and watched, as they had done for millennia, overseeing as the endless darkness filled with gibbous forms. First, the heavenly bodies of the cosmos were birthed - fiery suns, each hanging against the ebony backdrop with improbable brilliance; then came their harems - spectacular globes of every shade, each dancing to their own tune – perfect and faultless to the metronome of the universe. Lastly, their Master selected one, and only one; reached His almighty hand into that resplendent black velvet jewel box, and the spherical gem He grasped became His.
Author notes
Three sentence story for a contest. SN: tallblondie
A contest entry
- Story in only Three Sentences by Reaver.
550 points, ended October 16, 2008, 28 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Outside Of Earth by flowerbee1234.
151 points, ended February 17, 14 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Prose/Short Stories/Poetry by Taylor Renee.
190 points, ended January 28, 15 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Short Stories by Violette.
130 points, ended May 1, 13 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Can you do it? A Short and Quick Contest. by Violette.
350 points, ended June 20, 30 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - I can't think of a contest name! by Le Masquerade.
130 points, ended July 8, 27 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 29 of 29
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That was really well written and you described the scean like it was a picture in my mind. The only critisizim is that I'm not sure what you were trying to make me feel. Good job and good luck in my competition.
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Wow, now this was very well-written and the imagery was breathtaking. You woderfully described the Creation with vivid and wondrous detail. My only criticism is that the piece seems overly grandiose, sometimes a little thick with wording. But nonetheless, a very beautiful composition!
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No wonder you've won so many trophies for this.
Fantastic- is all I can say. -
This was beautiful. Such detail in just three sentences. The name caught my eye
Great job and congrats on the trophies.
Brooke -
I absolutely adore this.
I think it's brilliant. I love the imagery, and the wording & vocabulary. It's perfect, and you did an absolutely wonderful job writing it, really.
I love how I could invision the Heaven you were talking about in my head; and it was beautiful. Just elegantly beautiful.
Lovely.
Great work here, thank you so much for entering my contest, and I wish you the absolute best of luck.
xoxo
-♥-
Tay
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Good!
Great job on this; I can see with only three sentences what Heaven looks like. Good luck in the contest! -
Very complex and well thought out. Wonderfully written and extremely creative. Wonderful!
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Utterly beautiful. I hardly know what else to say. It is just perfect. Thanks so much for the wonderful read
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WOW!!!! So much said in only three sentences. I can see it all vividly. Completely beautiful!
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You did an amazing job with 3 sentences here...I can see why you won the contest with this one. Great details and so much told in so few words.
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Oh wow, I could see this happening right in front of my eyes, and I loved the sentence about how their Master reached into the jewel box. Was it Earth that he pulled out, or something else? Was that black velvet box supposed to signify the universe or something?
Can you write a story about the end of the world. Okay, I know I am asking too many questions, but I always do when I read short stories. -
good
a little to advanced for me to understand Please tell me what did he reach into the black velvet box for? I can't seem to get it -
nice, I love the imeagry.
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Oh very nice.
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wow *tear runs down cheek* that was amazing!
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You certainly deserved to win that gold for this
What a mundane author takes thousands of words to portray; a brilliant writer can bring to life in a paragraph.
You certainly deserved to win that gold for this
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Congratulations.
Geri
beginning: 5, ending: 5.
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Three sentences was all it took for you to convey this messages.
Your description was awe inspiring. I can see why you won gold.
Great job.
Brooke
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Awesome imagery of the creation and all in three sentences. This was very well written. I enjoyed reading it.
beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.
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Very nicely written. You created a very vivid scenerio within a paragraph. Not an easy task. Your descriptions were easily pictured yet beautifully painted.
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Very interesting. I like the fact that, although this is a full paragraph-sized story, it's only three sentences. That's pretty cool.
I love your detail and the vivid descriptions. A very good short tale.
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Congratulations. But I do have a question and please forgive my ignorance, but what exactly do you mean by "Lastly, their Master selected one, and only one; reached His almighty hand into that resplendent black velvet jewel box, and the spherical gem He grasped became His"? Wasn't/isn't the entire cosmos "His"?
Anaya Roma
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The entire cosmos belongs to God - that is true - but He also selected Earth and made it special. Out of all the planets of the cosmos He chose one - filling it with life. Therefore in a sense it belonged especially to Him.
Thanks for the read and comment.
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Interesting
You summed up the entire of creation in three sentences... I'm highly impressed.
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you sure know how to make sense! keep it up
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Wow.
*blinks, dazzled*
You never cease to amaze, Bondie - you deserved that gold you got there - this is clear, fluid, and actually makes sense. And what's more, you did keep it to three sentences. Great job.
Powerful subject matter, too.
RJ
(Three clappies are nowhere near enough ..)
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three long sentacne... but great sentences.. this was beautiful!!!
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It's beautiful; your imagery is strong and lyrical. I was a bit puzzled by what "became His" actually signified at the end, which probably spoiled an otherwise fully magical experience, alas. But such powerful detail in so short a sentence...spectacular!
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Wow that is ...wow...
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The best so far.
You observably have a very strong sway over grammar which is something I in fact do appreciate. Even though I didn’t like the story over the others, I think that this entry is going to be tough to top for the one reason alone: The structure, grammar and utilization of the sentences.
And… it isn’t that the tale is bad at all…just not so much my flavor.
You are a finalist…at the top.
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