Mixed Tape of Emotions

Mixed Tape of Emotions1

The sweet tunes of “Dark Blue” resounded in my ears as I found myself jogging through those familiar streets. Nothing much has changed. A new lamp here and there but the sky was the same. 2

My feet hit the ground with a resounding slaps and my breath came out in rapid bursts. I could feel the wind tousle my hair but my face was numb enough for it to just blow past. If I could smile (the wind had practically frozen my face) I would have. 3

I could almost hear my heartbeat singing to “Dark Blue” as the last notes slowly died out. Truth be told, I don’t even know why I am outside jogging when I should be inside singing some merry Christmas tune. After all, it is thirty-something degrees outside. 4

Actually, I lie. I do know why I’m outside freezing my ass off. It’s all because of him. Him and his stupid, stupid self. If he just could leave me alone, none of this would be a problem.5

The once familiar streets turned into familiar, open land. Then, the one place where my heart wouldn’t leave came into sight. The worn down swings where he first pushed me to the weeping willow where he confessed were all the same. Same as when I ran away from him. I could imagine the same thing, him rolling up on his skateboard while I nervously leaned against the tree. Just remembering the words that poured out of his mouth gave my heart a jolt. 6

“God, Rayne, you drive me insane for you. I’m positively heels over head* for you.” Now that I look back upon it I smile on the small music crack. James knew of my obsession with music (in his words he found it cute). God darn cute boy. 7

I reached the weeping willow (nicknamed Lyric by James) and promptly jogged away from it. Those memories were something that I didn’t want to—couldn’t tamper with. The cold breeze lightly ruffled my hair and I sighed in content. “Why, why did I have to run?” My voice echoed around the empty park. “If I could just rewind the clock…” my statement was met with silence. 8

Closing my eyes, I tried to breathe, but my lungs refused to work. A deep, overwhelming pain slowly started to consume my heart. This wasn’t the usual pain, the kind that came with a scrapped knee or seeing your crush dance with another girl. No, it was the kind of pain that made you stop and clutch your heart because you’re afraid it’ll shatter and you’ll be left with nothing.9

In a frenzy of emotion, I grabbed the nearest stone and flung it at the conveniently-located tree. I missed. But, the pain subsided for a moment. 10

About five seconds later, the thought hit me that there might’ve been someone there. “Shit,” someone mumbled, his voice was husky, like he had just woken up from a deep slumber. My eyes widened when I realized the familiar Converses that peaked out from the other side of the tree. 11

“James?” My voice came out in a whisper. My palms started to sweat and I cursed my decisions. If I hadn’t run here… if I hadn’t thrown that rock… life would be a lot easier. Rashness has always been a family flaw. Mom married Dad in a rash decision after all. But, that’s beside the point. 12

“Rayne,” his voice wasn’t confused like I thought it would be, “I knew you’d come back.” James stood up. His light blond hair fell in front of his pale face, slightly obscuring those eyes that I knew. 13

“You knew? How?” My voice cracked and I shifted my gaze to the rustling tree in order to conceal my embarrassment. I remember the times where I could walk up to him, slap his butt, and not feel embarrassed. What happened to that girl?14

“Well,” he stood up and slowly made his way to where I was standing. “I got this hunch that the girl who ran out on me might come back.” James shrugged, the dark blue sweatshirt that hid his lean frame from my sight slightly twitched in the breeze. “I’ve been waiting ever since.”15

I could feel the shock etching itself into my face. ‘Am I hearing things? I know I finally snapped.’ I couldn’t get a good rein on my thoughts; the dratted horse kept pulling free. 16

But, I knew that he had hit the nail right on the head, and I knew that I couldn’t step back and run. This was James, the most perfect boy I had ever met. He kindly kicked my ass back into gear when my parents got into a fight. He willingly subjected him to jeers in the hallways in order to protect me. 17

“But why? I’m no where near perfect. My room is always a mess. I hate the food you love. You know that I can’t stand your bands and that your favorite color is the exact opposite of mine! I like the blue skies and morning air* when you love the rain pouring down on a house!” I began to ramble. 18

A small smile lit Jame’s face up and he reached out to grab my shoulder. “You loser,” he used my favorite insult, “I never said I liked you because of the things you didn’t like. Plus, hadn’t you ever heard the saying ‘opposites attract’?” I could feel my façade melt away with the warmth of his smile.19

“But,” I took a step closer, “why did you wait for me? There are tons of girls out there who are dying to be with you?” He leaned in before whispering his response. My cheeks were probably fire hydrant red. 20

“I’d rather have a girl who cares enough about me that she is willing to push me off my pedestal. You know, you were the only girl who ran away when I asked them out. You fight me*, and I like it.”21

I gulped, “and I’m probably the first girl who told you that the London Pigs were a better band than your heavy metal bands.” I couldn’t look at him, so I glared at my chipped black and pink toe nails. They were easier to look at than his placid face.22

He threw his head back and let out a laugh. His green eyes were scrunched in an attempt to keep the tears in. “You’re beautiful,” I breathed, my voice catching in my throat. “Oh—um, you probably don’t get that often.” 23

“No, but I like it when you call me beautiful.” James threw a wink at me and tentatively slipped his arms around my waist. “You never answered my question.” This time it was me laughing. I leaned in and gave him a peck on his cheek.24

“This time, I give you permission to chase after me.” And I tore off.25

♥26

“Please, please will you gimme a chance*? Will you be my girlfriend?"27

“Hell yes.”28