A Thief

Missing image
In a time when creatures of night ruled, and beings of the day still feared. It was a rare human that ventured into the darkness alone. Night fallen on the wood, this thief however, dared to enter. 1

She cared not the reason people feared the night. She cared not of wars between Vampires, Werewolves and Demons. All that mattered to her was it had provided a prize.2

A few extra ales at the inn, a few extra favors well placed, a rumor that proved to be truth, she sought a rare stone of uncommon beauty and worth.3

It was the Bloodstone Ruby, summoned from hell itself a thing of power to swing the balance and secure the win. An evil empire would begin, it all depended on who owned the stone.4

Battle lines were drawn and the waiting begins. The thief slides past as if a cat. No immortal could be bothered with a human at this crucial hour. Stealth and silent, she drags the carcass through the meadow, ever so close to the lines.5

Center to the field, a great tower wherein evil dwelt. Wherein lies the stone in wait, its power to be beckoned at the height of the moon by the evil lords.6

Soon she stands waiting. Wrapped in the shadow in the tower's sanctum. She glances round at guardians, seven, they have not seen the mere slip of a girl.7

Then it happens, the moon slips free its shroud. The sanctum starts to glow, shades of scarlet and blood. There stands the stone on a pedestal of gold. Its unearthly light bleeding through the room.8

First a howl, then an unearthly scream, the thief grins as the sounds float in, bloodlust has broken the lines so carefully staked, mere blood of a goat and moonlight to do her work.9

The guardians look away, but her eyes never waver, her hand now poised over her prize. Too late, they sense her; too late they surge. With a flick of her wrist, the light is doused. The pedestal stands empty and the thief gone.10

From a hill in the distance, she stands. Whisked away by the magic. Before her, the gates of hell have opened, there will be no victors for this battle. The hounds of hell had come to reclaim their children.11

When all is quiet the battle dust gone, the meadow stands barren and empty, not a stone or brick to show the tower ever stood.12

Alone on a hill a mere slip of a girl looks over a rather plain looking stone, colors of green and rust. With a grin, she slips it in her bag and heads home.13

No one knows for certain what happened that night, but the thief who will never tell. As for creatures and beasts that go bump in the night, they have become things of rumor and fairy-tales, stories to scare the little ones.14

Far away, a mere slip of a girl laughs tossing a stone to catch it again. A plain thing like a green and rust colored apple. With a secret smile, she places it upon her mantle.

Author notes

Just a small story. picture found on google image.

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 5 of 5

  • Andy Stephenson Greeters member
    October 19, 2008
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    Hi

    p3 A few extra ales at the inn, a few extra favors well placed, a rumor that proved to be (truth, she sought a) rare stone of uncommon beauty and worth.

    p4 (It was the) Bloodstone Ruby

    p6 (wherein) evil (dwelt, wherein lies the stone in wait, (its) power to be beckoned at the height of the moon (by the evil lords.) [It needs something to make it a complete sentence - I thought that might work]

    p9 so carefully (staked,) mere

    p12 (empty, not)

    p14 creatures and (beasts) that



    I still haven't decided which version I like best. I went over this one again. I think these changes will help the original version. I'll have another look at the newer version and decide which one to add to our list for consideration in the book.

    Andy


  • Andy Stephenson Greeters member
    October 16, 2008

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    Hi.

    p6 (wherein) evil dwelt

    I like this a lot. I love the language and the manner in which you phrase your sentences. There were some sentence fragments, which could be fixed.

    I'd really like it to be longer. Would you try to expand on this, post a revised version of it, and send me the link when you're done? Don't delete this copy or edit it significantly. I like the feel of this piece and that could be lost in the revision.

    Thanks for entering Exceptional Stories To Be Published 2

    Andy

  • Without List
    October 16, 2008

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    Interesting story, has a nice fairy tales quality. The language tends to make me stop and read over it again to make sure I get it, but otherwise a good read.


    • Riftkin gold member
      October 16, 2008
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      Since most fairy tales happened way back when, I tried to capture that feeling.

1 - 5 of 5