stars collide.

i once knew my mum and now i don't. i remember the midnight touch when we watched the stars collide with invisible dashes of dreams. she told me to pick and star and make it my own. and that is exactly what i did. 1

i once met a boy when i was thirteen and hopelessly in love. late night talks and early morning kisses with innocence exploring one another's bodies; cotton white bedsheets not even our own. we shared chocolate and cream; strawberries and roses. walking miles of mountain roads showered by artificial heat from the winter sun. his kisses were like diamonds; i was never rich. exploring bodies with flirty eyes only designed for me. that night, as we watched the sun disappear into the horizon, he held me in his arms and told me he would never leave me; later that night he was killed in a car crash.2

i once met a boy who's name i didn't know. we lay on soft green grass amidst feeding doves and chirping sparrows; watching feathery clouds float by above a lazily flying pair of swallows. that day, there were slow colours forming beats from my heart like songs erupting mountains of candy and his face didn't seem to exit my head until i could feel the imaginary music burning through me like coffee through my veins. it was smooth and chaotic and o so perfect. even now i am dreaming of smells that are more than perfect that makes my stomach dance in circles and my heart drain of blood. i can clearly remember his bed and his bedsheets of which my legs were tangled and i remember his voice and his eyes of sea green and his skin coated in beauty. even now, i wish to know his name.3

i once knew a girl who was more like me than i realised. we starved and cut and vomitted together; we were blood sister's at heart. she danced to the stars and the moon and whispered sweet nothings to the heavens above. we shared kisses and dreams of happy tomorrows. we danced naked in the rain and sang with the birds in the early mornings. we laughed and cried and shared everything with one another. we made a pact to stay forever friends and to this day we are; we still laugh and cry together though, she departed to live life in heaven with the angels.4

the world was always my oyster; i hid in the shell.5