Moon's Fury: Chapter Three: The Change

I didn't know what I could do to save him or why this was happening! My hands shook as I gently moved his shoulders from side to side, repeatedly calling his name. I sat next to him and watched in helplessly as Jake's body spasmed suddenly. His arms shot off the ground as his eyes shot open and he gasped for breath! The tension in my shoulders lessened as I gratefully heard Jake's heart beating wildly in his chest, strong and hard. I watched numb struck as he warily climbed to his feet and bent over at the waist, his body raked with agony. His whisper almost inaudible over the rushing in my ears. 1

"The change! It's coming!" Jake said gritting his teeth against the pain. 2

A cold shiver ran down my spine as we stepped out of the open field, and deeper between the surrounding trees. Awareness of Jake following closely behind aroused my senses and filled my being with eagerness of the approaching run. 3

Spotting a low set of foliage, Jake rushed behind it, his inner wolf growing restless with the promise of the change. A lone rabbit bound through the underbrush, exciting both Jake's wolf and my own. I could visually picture his wolf's ears perking up, and taking notice. I watched with interest through my peripheral vision as Jake's muscles visually tensed as he fought to restrain his wolf a few minutes more until the change took control of him. 4

I saw more than I heard when Jake finally began the change from human to wolf. He stood bent at the waist with his back to me, bracing his weight on his forearms and the balls of his feet. Before turning away to give him privacy my eyes lingered on his form. His skin shown with an inward glint that I knew was the magic of the shift between human and wolf. 5

I watched enraptured as his body began to shift, his bones seemed to melt and reform before my eyes. His back arched and a pent up groan broke free of his lips slowly turning into a deep growl of an alpha wolf. 6

Turning away from the spectacle that was Jake, I began to undress myself down to my under garments. I didn't want my clothing to be snagged on over hanging branches and barbs. Growing up with a Werewolf family, I spent years with my pack which stripped me of most of my modesty. When ever we ran we changed as a pack and always finish naked, often far from our clothing. I mean, we can't exactly take them along with us for the ride. 7

My heart beat quickened in response to the sudden quietness that filled the glade. Gently I got onto all fours, stretching my limbs for the upcoming run. Though I've yet to experience the change into my wolf form first hand, her presence is constantly known to my subconscious mind. On full moon nights, my wolf and human side have a battle of wills, always ending with my wolf side taking over for the run. Though my human side never dissipates. 8

Peering up, I gazed into a pair of green eyes; human eyes. I didn't think much of it, but it was rare to find a wolf that retained their human eyes after the change. Understanding that he was no regular werewolf dawned on me, as Jake completed the change. 9

I had to be cautious around this side of Jake. Though he had excellent control over his wolf; even as a human, his instincts had changed. He was for the most part a wolf. I quickly kept my eyes down cast as as to not offer a challenge. Normally I would never take the submissive position voluntarily, but in this case it was necessary. 10

Slowly I lowered myself to the ground on my knees and elbows, putting my weight onto my hands as I felt my chest make contact with the chilled ground. Making sure not to hesitate as I rolled over onto my back, belly up and neck back, exposing my vulnerable areas to him in a sign of loyalty and submission. I waited patiently without moving as Jake stalked a circle around me. I followed him with my eyes, warily never looking him directly in the eyes for too long. He continued to circle me until he was satisfied that I was cooed enough to not move. He inched closer until I could feel his presence growing as he neared me. I closed my eyes to prevent accidentally looking him in the eyes, while using my sensitive hearing to pick up his whereabouts. 11

*** Jake has such a lovely shade of fur. Golden like the sun.
*** Imagine if someone saw us!
*** Jake could in no way pass as a house pet; hes the size of a lion!
12

Goosebumps covered my skin as I felt his nose nudge my jaw, tentative at first, then commanding. I kept my body still and relaxed as the tip of his muzzle traveled down the center of my body, his nose picking up more scents and emotions in his wolf's form than his human. I waited patiently as his progress down my body slowed at my mid-rift. My body began to shiver from the cold, though I struggled to keep still so as to not make any sudden movements. 13

He eased his muzzle closer and closer, stopping only a few millimeters away from my soft skin. I felt the heat of his breath as he continued to smell of my tummy. 14

I peered down at him, holding my breath as his muzzle inched closer, his lips pulled back into a low growl that spread throughout his entire body. I closed my eyes urging this necessary event to end quickly, when his tongue shot out, he licked the patch of skin below my navel. The slight roughness of his tongue gently abraded my skin. 15

My eyes snapped open in surprise. Bolting up from the ground I ran my hands over my belly until I was satisfied that it was only a lick. 16

Jake approached me, nudging me with his muzzle until I glanced at him. His beautiful features were arranged in a toothy growl, which i took as a grin. 17

"What are you smiling about?" I asked, irritated, "I nearly froze to death on the ground because you took your precious time feeling me up!" 18

*** Wait!
*** Sniffing and licking me up!
19

I swear if wolves could smile, his just grew even bigger. In a gesture of forgiveness Jake padded over in front of me, and began to softly lick my cheek. Like a mother wolf taking care of her pup! Though with each lick he was winning me over. I wasn't about to tell him that. I sat with my arms folded, my body stiff and unmoving. 20

"That isn't going to work. You know better." I said, chiding him. 21

I watched as he snorted in disbelief, and backed into the center of the glade and began to wag his tail like a common house pet. I watched in amusement as he placed his head low to the ground and released a high pitch yip!22

I laughed. "So you want to play! Okay then."23

Grunting with the effort it took to pick myself up off the ground I made a show of whipping the bits and pieces of dirt off my legs and bottom before turning and without warning taking off through the trees. 24

I heard the long howl Jake released before he took off after me, hot on my trail. Nose in the air, scenting. Ears alert, straining to listen to every detail that the woods have hidden. Eyes scanning the bushes, searching for a trail. 25

I kept running. The glade was deathly quiet. The presence of the hunter in their midst silenced the glade of the bird calls and endless twittering of crickets and croaking of frogs. Time seemed to slow as I ran, each second lasting an eternity. I could hear nothing other than the pounding of my feet against the ground. Like an endless drum in my ears, blocking all sound from reaching them. It seemed to be taking Jake a while to catch up, so I slowed to a walk. Then I came to a stop, straining my ears for the first hint of Jake's approach. 26

I was about to continue my run when a lead weight barreled into me and sent me flying. I caught a flash of golden fur before it disappeared into the bush, leaving me alone to catch my breath and surrounded by Jake's scent. I got to my feet, and warily walked forward. 27

Nothing happened. 28

I took a few more steps forward and got barreled over again, this time I saw his hind quarters as he disappeared again.29

*** What the?
*** He is a golden Houdini!
30

Not waiting for him to circle back around, I jumped to my feet and ran as fast as my legs would take me. Since he was in his wolf form he had copious amounts of advantages over me, but that didn't mean I would make it easy for him. 31

I gritted my teeth as the brambles and branches tugged and pulled at my skin as I forced my way through them, making my own path. Jake would have a harder time, because of his added bulk from the change, and that is exactly what I wanted. 32

I veered off my path and to the left, cutting down the slope, easily avoiding the rocks and briers. My muscles began to burn and my chest felt heavy. I knew I couldn't keep this up from much longer. I needed a way to slow him down long enough to escape. 33

The sunlight peered down at me through the tree tops. All most as if it was calling me I tilted my face to greet it, letting is gentle rays caress my face. As if mother nature wanted me to win, a trail in front of me appeared in the sun light. It lead down the slope to the bottom. Faintly I could hear the rushing sound of water; masses of it. 34

*** A river!
*** That is where I could loose him at.
35

Having a new plan renewed my resolve and gave new energy to my body. It ached in both fatigue and anticipation. I knew Jake was close to catching me. He could have already if he had wanted to, but I knew he loved a good case as much as the run itself. It would be only a matter of time until he figured out where I was headed. So I had to move fast! 36

Nearing the bottom of the slope, I could see the silver glint of sun light off the surface of the river between the ferns. 37

*** Almost there!
*** Lets see him catch me now.
*** Alpha werewolf my back side!
38

My senses began to make themselves know in stark clarity. I could see my destination, growing nearer by the second. I could smell the river, so strongly it blocked every other scent in the forest. I could feel the hot condensation from Jake's breath on the backs of my legs; gradually getting warmer as he gained on me. 39

*** I'm so close!
*** A few more steps and I will be in the river.
*** I would win!
40

That is when I noticed a growing shadow above me. I glanced up in time to see Jake in mid leap before he dropped on me. I hit the dirt with a loud grunt. More from getting the breath knocked from me than the pain. 41

I knew without turning over that Jake stood over me. There is no way of mistaking his presence as anything else. The mere power he exerted as an alpha could be felt from ten feet away. With him this close it felt like sticking my hand in an electrical outlet. Power zinged and sparked as he hesitantly touched my back with his muzzle. I felt more than heard when he released a sad whine and continued to nudge me with the tip of his nose. Worry evident in the pitch of his whine. 42

I rolled over to assure him I was alright. No harm had come to me. I was safe. Except for a few scratches that would heal quickly enough. 43

I stared around me as the morning sun slowly began to make it's presence known as it peeked through the trees. The edges beginning to crest the mountain tops in the distance. The day is almost over. 44

*** Were we running that long?
*** No wonder my legs are burning.
*** Ouch!
*** I'm going to be sore in the morning.
*** Well not as sore as some.
45

As if sleep caught up to me in that minute in time, my eyes became heavy. The sounds of the forest coming alive with the approaching of night, began lulling me to sleep. 46

Jake's massive foot falls barely registered as he proceeded to lay next to me. His wolf silently seeking out the company of a familiar. Turning my face and body towards the warm golden silky fur, I snuggled close and fell into the pitch abyss of sleep. 47

I was asleep long enough to dream. Thankfully someone woke me up before it evolved into a nightmare. I dreamed I was running with Jake again. Both of us were padding down the hill side and through the woods chasing after a jack rabbit. We were circling the little animal, hunger deep in our bellies, and teeth bared for the kill. I was a startling dirty blond color as a wolf, and slightly smaller in size compared to Jake. It was I who was tensed for the kill, my body preparing to pounce when a snap of a twig jarred me from my sleep. The sound as loud as a fire cracker in the quiet of the morning. 48

*** Someone is coming!
*** I need to warn Jake!
*** Maybe it is just a hiker...
*** Maybe if I keep quiet they will pass by...
*** Unless they see that we are for the most part unclothed...
49

I laid there motionless. Keeping my eyes shut and regulating my breathing. My ears strained against the quiet for another sign that someone was approaching. The roar of the river muffled their steps against the moist earth and the ruffling of dry leaves. I desperately wanted to shake Jake awake from his position beside me, but I didn't want to loose our advantage. I knew the possibility of the stranger being a human was over seventy-five percentage, most likely a hunter. My body began to relax as I forcefully calmed myself. 50

*** Keep on walking by...
*** Don't stop... don't stop...
51

The steady approach slowed to a stop a few feet away. I inwardly flinched as I heard a deep voice release a soft whistle. I began to feel the beginning of a blush coating my face and mentally cursed! Deciding the game is over, and we had been spotted, I came to the decision that I should try and explain to the gawking human. 52

The wind blew fiercely, sending a spray of leaves my way. I ignored them in order to pay attention to something smaller. A smell. A strange scent road the wind, gently caressing my cheek. I inhaled softly, and broke out in a cold sweat. 53

*** Oh shit! It isn't a hiker!
*** Werewolves!
*** As many as eight of them!
54

My heart beat increased, beating rapidly against my chest. I was sure they could hear the increased tempo. Goosebumps broke out on my arms, and the hairs on my neck stood up on end. My limbs shook with the barely suppressed urge to fight or run. However, my body made the decision for me and I rose to my feet. I had a mere five seconds before the three closest advanced on me. A swirl of deep blue shirts, and golden seals surrounded me as they each tried to take hold of my arms. 55

I yelled, "Jake! Wake up!", just as the largest one succeeded in capturing my arm wrenching it behind my back. I let out a shout as I was brought to my knees from the pain. Anymore and he would break my arm. Bending my other elbow, I shot it backwards into his gut with enough force to loosen his hold on me. Propelling myself from the ground I ran towards Jake as he jumped to his feet and immediately began fighting four others that brandished short golden daggers. 56

"Elena run!" Jake yelled before becoming consumed with the battle. 57

I stretched out a hand towards the closest of his attackers but came up short as a sharp pain bloomed at the top of my throat below my jaw. A slow trickle of warm liquid coursed down my neck and pooled at the base of my throat, and downward. The sweet smell of blood permeated the air. I stopped dead in my tracks, the blood in my veins pulsing so hard it made me dizzy. My attacker grasped my face with his free hand as he leaned down to whisper in my ear. His touch and breath repulsive, but I swore I would remember him, and his voice since they all wore masks! 58

"So, little one, your name is Elena?" He said stressing the syllables, "Your a pretty one I'll give you that. I can see why he picked you."59

*** What the devil is he talking about?
*** This must be it....the end for me!
*** But I'm only eighteen! I'm to young to die!
*** Oh God, let Jake be safe!
60

His hard wet lips pressed against the side of my neck once, and I fought to break free of his hold, only to relinquish as the dagger pressed deeper into my skin. The golden blade caught the light briefly and blinded me. The ground shook with the force of Jake's enraged yell, and I fought off the brief dizzy spell that over took me and forced my eyes open. Jake had injured three of the wolves enough that they couldn't walk, but he was no match for the other four. They over took him as a group, throwing out punches to the ribs, until they forced him to the ground on his hands and knees. 61

"Sweet dreams Elena!" My attacker said just beside my ear before my nose and mouth was covered with a white cloth. Instinct told me to hold my breath, so I did, and fought my attackers as the dagger disappeared from my neck. I felt my nails digging my assailant's arm as his skin gave way under the pressure. I soon lost my grip as my fingers became coated in his blood. My vision swam in and out of focus as I searched the ground for Jake's position. The sharp odor of the chloroform burning my nose and the back of my throat. 62

Panic made me fight back fiercely, as I realized I would suffocate if I didn't breath. I no longer cared for my safety, survival was of the most importance. I kicked and elbowed my attacker until two other sets of hands secured my arms and legs into place. As a last resort I bit into the cloth, desperation spurring my adrenaline rush. The chemical burned my tongue and assaulted the insides of my mouth. It felt like my nose and throat was on fire, my breathing became ragged, and the need to cough overwhelmed me. 63

I coughed and inadvertently inhaled the chemical. My breathing slowed, as my head swam as if in a giant whirl pool, and my vision began to waver as vertigo set in. I lost the urge to resist, as the thought of giving in became irresistible and seemed inevitable. I glanced at Jake as my vision faded. My head almost too cloudy to understand what I was seeing! 64

The attacker grasped Jake by the forearms and helped him to his feet! Then proceeded to brush him down, apologizing rapidly in a high nervous tone. Then one by one, they all got down on one knee and bowed their heads. I was too tired to think. It became too difficult, and I was unsure whether I was delusional or not. 65

I faintly heard my attacker speaking as I drifted deeper into the black nothingness that awaited me, and his words spurred little interest as I teetered over the edge into my forced slumber. 66

"It is done my lord." 67

Author notes

SIDE NOTE: Remember, the lines abbreviated with the ***s are the beginnings of thoughts. I thought if I incorporated what the character thinks it would bring you the reader closer to the main character.

OKAY! This is the third chapter of my short story/ novel Moon's Fury. It took a while to write it, but I'm finally done with this chapter. If you are interested, you may procced to the fourth chapter which is on my page. Thank you for taking the time to read this and comment.

If you have any questions, please ask. I hope I cleared everything up in this chapter that might have been confusing in the last.


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Comments

1 - 27 of 27

  • poetry is soul
    December 2, 2008

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    so hey, guess what?? i started reading these backwards! lol. i didnt know that you had the first chapters in here, so sorry that i read the fourth chapter first. at least now i understand it a bit better. lol. again, fantastic imagery! great job!


    • amanda vampiress
      December 2, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Lol That is okay, a few other people have started from the middle or the end and worked there way forwards; though I don't recommend it. It could be confusing. XD Thanks again for reading and commenting.

  • gerifitzsimmons Greeters member
    November 23, 2008

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    You have an interesting tale, with some colorful characters and lots of activity.

    Terrific read I enjoyed the playful hunt with Jake and our narrator. I did wonder why she didn’t revert to her wolf shape? Of course, since I missed the first two sections, the answer to that may have been revealed there.

    You must not have posted them in SARs . I usually manage to catch most of what’s posted here.

    You have an interesting tale, with some colorful characters and lots of activity. The limited use of dialogue wasn’t a problem since the descriptions and action more than held my attention. I felt like I could see through the narrator’s eyes and feel her emotions.

    As for the plot, I was a bit confused at times. Suppose I need to start this story from the beginning .

    I was a little unsure about the attackers. She told us they were werewolves—then why did they attack? She acted as if they were going to destroy her, then they paid homage to Jake? Even though he attacked them?

    Maybe it's me

    You will need a bit of editing (don’t we all ).

    So you might want to check out the following:

    His arms shot off the ground as his eyes shot open and he gasped for breath! (shot echoes why not replace one? His arms shot off the ground as his eyes popped open and he gasped for breath! His arms came up off the ground as his eyes shot open and he gasped for breath!

    I quickly kept my eyes down cast as (so) as to not offer a challenge.

    He continued to circle me until he was satisfied that I was cooed (cowed) enough

    *** Jake could in no way pass as a house pet; hes (he’s) the size of a lion!12

    As if mother nature wanted me to win, a trail in front of me appeared in the sun light. It lead(led) down the slope to the bottom.

    *** That is where I could loose(lose) him at. 35

    . He could have already if he had wanted to, but I knew he loved a good case(chase) as much as the run itself.

    My senses began to make themselves know(known) in stark clarity.

    There is (was) no way of mistaking his presence as anything else.

    I rolled over to assure him I was alright (all right).

    I stared around me as the morning sun slowly began to make it's (its) presence known as it peeked through the trees. The edges beginning to crest the mountain tops (mountaintops) in the distance.

    Jake's massive foot falls barely registered as he proceeded to lay(lie) next to me.

    Both of us were padding down the hill side(hillside) and through the. The sound as loud as a fire cracker (firecracker) in the quiet of the morning. 48

    , but I didn't want to loose (lose) our advantage.

    Deciding the game is (was) over, and we had been spotted,

    Geri


    . Rewarded 8


    • amanda vampiress
      November 24, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you for the long and thorough comment! I think that is just one of many writers' wishes! XD

      I had known there were a lot of mistakes, but I must have been in such a hurry that I missed them. Thank you for pointing them out, I will make the necessary changes shortly.

      As for the parts that you are unsure about, all of those were explained in the first two chapters. I did post them on SAR, but I'm not sure the length of time they were up there was very long. Though, I hope to cycle through and back to the first chapter after I post the fourth, so keep a look out.. lol

      The part where you said: 'I was a little unsure about the attackers. She told us they were werewolves—then why did they attack? She acted as if they were going to destroy her, then they paid homage to Jake? Even though he attacked them?'

      ... I had made this chapter to be mysterious, because the main character (Elena) was not supposed to know about the attackers; until they were already attacking of course. As to why they helped Jake stand at the end, you will just have to read on and find out, but I'm not sure if you will be any less confused than you are now unless you read the first two chapters.

      I hope that helped answer some of your questions. If you have any more just let me know, I would be happy to answer them.

      Again, thank you for reading and commenting. You made my day!


  • SageSyren Greeters member
    November 22, 2008

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    I love a good werewolf story and this was one I'd put in my favorite group.

    My only suggestion would be to remember that werewolvies in my opinion have a heightened sense of smell, so put that to good use. No story is complete without smell.
    Brooke

    . Rewarded 4


    • amanda vampiress
      November 23, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Awesome! I'm glad that you liked it, I suppose that means I'm doing something right.

      Thank you for the suggestion, I will be sure to add in bit about smell in my future chapters. Thank you for taking the time to read and comment on my story as well.

  • rockerkiti
    November 16, 2008

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    It's great!

    I agree with StreetRoller: the wolf changing part had a lot of detail, but i dont think it was too boring. keep on writing!

    -kk

    . Rewarded 4

  • StreetRoller
    October 31, 2008

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    This chapter was also very good. Nice twist. Although the jake wolf changing part might seem a bit little boring cause it was too long and too much detail, but maybe its just me. Anyway Good job! Most of it was good.

    . Rewarded 4

  • dark-fantasies
    October 24, 2008

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    This was another great chapter! There was so much happening in this and I like how it moves at a fast pace and always leaves you wondering about all the mysteries and questions in it. The only trouble I think with that though is that there isn’t much room for character development (am I making any sense?) Like, usually in a story /novel there’s one or two chapters where there’s no action and nothing really major happens. This is so the characters can be established more and therefore seem more real… I don’t know if you get what I mean… I guess all I’m saying is that you’re three chapters in and so much has happened already but I don’t feel like I know the main character Elena that much because you haven’t revealed much about her personality. Still, I really like the story so far!

    . Rewarded 8


    • amanda vampiress
      October 25, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you for reading and commenting! Yes, lol I know exactly what you mean. I am trying to make the chapters keep your interest, and bring about the story line. And there are two main characters, Elena and Jake, I decided to make it this way to allow my writing a greater area (am I making sense? lol) The next chapter, which is already written, is from Jake's point of view. That one has a lot of character development. The fifth chapter, that I am writing now, is from Elena's point of view again and that chapter will be about Elena's character development, and it will also sum up all the mysteries!

  • terror
    October 23, 2008

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    Oh sorry, I see now. Some nice twists here and a good fight scene. Very tense and with some very vivid descriptions.

  • terror
    October 22, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    As always I love it.

    some stunning description 'inward glint' is one of my favorites.

    The dream scene is immpresive, managing to be both very descriptive and real yet still have a dreamlike quality.
    Jake's still full of secrets even in her dreams, very good.

    . Rewarded 6


    • amanda vampiress
      October 22, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you for taking the time to read and comment! I'm glad that you liked it.

      However, the part that you are refering to as a dream in this chapter, really happens to her. It wasn't a dream. I will go back and see if I can reword parts of the story so that away it doesn't confuse anyone. lol

  • Dreama
    October 20, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    what?! ooh- interesting. next chapter...


  • Bunny luv26
    October 16, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Bit confused but I hadn't read your other chapters (sorry)I will get them read as soon as I can.
    I really liked it and can't wait to see what happens next. A very curious ending.
    Only spotted one problem that had not been previously commented on: "Jake's massive foot falls barely registered as he proceeded to lye next to me." - Meant Lay or Lie not Lye. Lye is a type of abrasive chemical used in cleaning products.
    Otherwise great! Can't wait!
    Good luck to you in all things!

    . Rewarded 8


    • amanda vampiress
      October 16, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      LOL Thanks for taking the time to read and comment on my story! I really do appreciate it! If you read the two chapters before this one, you will understand this chapter a whole lot more. lol The ending will make a lot of sense if you do.

      Thank you for pointing that out, I will make the necessary changes the next time I have time to devote to the story.


      • Bunny luv26
        October 16, 2008
        Edit | Reply
        Hope it didn't seem too rude. I just remember those things better myself if I know the difference. I am really looking forward to reading the first two chapters of the story.


        • amanda vampiress
          October 16, 2008
          Edit | Reply
          Oh no no no! You didn't come off rude at all! lols Awesomeness, no rush at all. I hope you like them! XD

  • dancindream
    October 16, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    OMG LOVED it!!!
    what a wonderful twist!
    i can tell you're devleoping as a writer as your chapters go on, but i would still ahve t saw that ur first chapter was your best. u decribed thigns very well in that chapter and developed your character exceptionally. this cahppter was very goo tho and verryy intense.
    here are some gramamr mistakes i found:

    First paragraph 2nd setence, you used the word shook twice, maybe try to find a synonym for one of them cuz the sentence soudns a bit repetitive rite now.
    Also did u mean that u "watched in helpless abandonMENT?" becaouse that one phrase doesnt rly make sense how it is.
    paragraph 4- "his wolf growling restlessLY"
    paragraph 5- I saw more than I heard (u were missing the I)
    paragraph 7- turning away fromt the spectable that WAS (not is) jake"
    paragraph 12- "imagine if someone SAW us"
    i actually didnt catch anymore but thats probaly cuz i was so wrapped up in reaidng it! iw oudl reccoment reading it over again and fixing your gramamr mistakes, what i like to do is read my story aloud because then i can hear my mistakes.
    Overall, this was a very good chapter!
    great work . I look forward to reading more! <3
    xox

    . Rewarded 8


    • amanda vampiress
      October 16, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Lols Thank you for commenting! And yes, I knew of one or two that you mentioned, but I hadn't changed anything because I haven't found another word to fit that I like. lols I will do some re-editing the next time I have free time to devote to it, but thank you for pointing those parts out! I'm glad that you liked it. The next chapter will be something like the first, except...I got the idea to do the next chapter from Jake's point of view since Elena is out cold! XD

      • dancindream
        October 16, 2008

        Edit | Reply
        your welcome! and tahts a good idea! id really like to know what JAke was thinking at this point. you should def try a chp from his POV and see how it works out!
        <3


  • GrimDeath
    October 16, 2008

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    Very good, very interested in finding out what happens in the next chapter. Once again, love your take on werewolves. I am guessing Jake hasn't been telling elena everything and the ring has something to do with Marcus. Let me know when you post the next chapter I would love to read it.

    . Rewarded 6


    • amanda vampiress
      October 16, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Awesomeness! lol I'm glad that I have captured your attention, that is not always so easy to do! Thanks for reading this chapter, I know it was kind of long, but I'm glad you liked it. I will definitely keep you updated when I get the fourth chapter written! XD


  • aikoflavored
    October 16, 2008

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    I read the first two chapters just now, this is a very interesting story, I enjoy it quite a bit and i look forward to reading the next chapter :]

    well done, keep writing.

    -aiko

    . Rewarded 4


    • amanda vampiress
      October 16, 2008

      Edit | Reply
      Thank you Aiko, for taking the time to read and comment! I appreciate it! I will definitely keep you updated when I get the fourth chapter written. I'm happy that you liked it!

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