Fallen angels?

“I didn’t want this…… I never wanted this…..” Tears of pure energy fell from the angel’s eyes as he held his beloved. Her eyes held pain, kindness, forgiveness, and most of all love. Love that was forever engraved into her delicate eyes. Even as the life faded and flickered from her eyes like a candle blown in the breeze of an eternal wind, the love stayed strong. It was a look that needed no words to decipher. It will be the face that will forever through out eternity that will be carved into his memory and his heart. To haunt, torture, and urge his very soul to make absolutely sure that her death was not in vain. But for now that loving look does is causes him pain. So much pain that he doesn’t realize that his very being to split and then reform. While he sobbed one of his beautiful snow white wings began to shudder. His aura seemed to shudder with it, and slowly turned a shade of midnight purple that seemed to cast a shadow on the battlements. One wing had shed every last feather and had grown leather like skin between the now seemingly naked wing. It also turned blacker than any shadow ever cast upon the world of men. After the transformation it ressembled a bat's wing, only it was darker. Afterwards feathers of the same hue of the wings skin grew, making a perfect opposite of his other wing. His eyes started to change. Their light blue started to swirl around their respected pupils and changed colors. Finally when the transformation ended he had on an eye that was blood red and the other a much darker shade of blue than it had been. Neither one resembled what they once were. His beloved whispered something and then her life faded into the never ending abyss. He stopped sobbing pulled her limp shell of a body close kissed her for the last time, and laid her body gently to the ground. He lifted his head and beheld the empty battlements. Filled with friends, family, comrades, and his beloved. His eyes held a new emotion now. It wasn’t the despair and sorrow that had consumed him just a moment ago. No, they were very different now. They were filled with determination, a look of profound loss and finally of unbridled anger. Anger wasn’t something his kinds felt or were supposed to feel. This was an intense anger whose heat rivaled the suns. He stood from the kneeling position, and took one last look at the battlements. Then he turned his head upward and screamed out of fury, out of scorn, of despair, but most of all the most profound pain of losing his beloved. His scream seemed to shake the very plane of existence. 1

Then I awoke in my bed, listening to my short gasped breaths mixing with the sounds of my ceiling fan. My room was completely dark except for the lights coming from my computer and from under my bedroom door. As my breathing steadied I recollected my memory, no dream. No, wait, my memory. I was confused It was obviously a dream because I had been asleep, but it had to have been a memory. It was to real to have just been a dream. I sat for a while feeling lost, contemplating everything. I felt my face getting colder and colder so I felt my face to find that tears had wet my whole face and part of chest. I felt the pillow and sure enough it was soaked. I didn’t care. It wasn’t the first time this had happened. Except this time the feeling didn’t and wouldn’t shake that it was real and coherent. Finally I decided it had been a memory of some sort. I felt that this was the most important one yet, so I needed to put this in my log. My log had been created a few years before when I started remembering things about a life that I had lived. It started out with what seemed to be happy memories of a forgotten childhood. Then it seemed to lapse to adulthood where a war was starting to erupt right after I had met my soul mate. Lately the memories would appear whether I was awake or asleep. They had mostly been dreams about celestial battles over heaven. Battles that had taken place when the world was new. Before plants, animals, and humans were even thought about. The war was started by Lucipher, because he was jealous of Gods power. He lead others to believe that it would be better to have such power divided between them. He really had no intentions of sharing such power. It seemed that in the days before the war it seemed politics could take hold of even heavenly beings. I remembered my celestial mother had been cast form heaven for loving one of the rebelling angels. The rebels were then deemed demons, and their leader the devil. Not long after the war started the lords army rounded up all the rebels. My mother was allowed back after the threat had ended. The rebels were all given the choice to ask for forgiveness. Those that did we accepted back, but those that their stubborn beliefs, that God had to much power over them, were sent to a newly made plane called “Hell”. Hell was mainly a lake of ever burning fire, which never killed anyone but caused them to feel the pain through out eternity. Most of this was already known to Christians, but the alarming detail in which I saw these things has lead me to believe that I was once an angel that for one reason or another had been sent to earth. I live my life in hiding from most. I used to not realize how reclusive I was about my feelings until I was writing in my log and realized that not only had I not voiced any of this to my family, but that I feared them finding out. I am really good with computers, and I love using them. So it is no wonder that I gathered friends like me from the Internet. I enjoyed things that allot of kids, teens, and adults don’t until later on in life. There was one such friend now trying to instant message me when I brought up my log on to my computer. This particular friend had been talking to me one day, not that long ago, about some weird dreams he had been having. I was more than happy to listen and give advice. I am always joking with my friends that I am nothing but an ear to hear your troubles and a shoulder to cry on. Most found it comedic but none really deny it. I found morbid things funny sometimes and liked depressing poems, songs, stories and other literature. So listening to troubles and trying to help just seemed to come naturally for me. As he was telling me about his dreams I started finishing his sentences for him, and he wrote a language on the screen that wasn’t of earth and without him saying a word I translated it into what it meant. After that we realized that we both had been having the same experiences. So we came together and put our respected puzzle pieces together and found that we were related to each other and that we had both been in the war. This was great for now I had someone to talk to that understood what I meant when I talked on those subjects that were of the sensitive nature. So instead of entering what I had dreamed into my log right away I decided instead to talk to my friend about it first. This was always a good stress reliever, and usually between the two of us we could figure out what the dream meant. Although I was pretty sure I knew what this one was about, I figured it would still make me feel better. My mind was still held the image of his dying lover and an overwhelming sense of loss. Though I knew, somehow, that my soul mate was fine and would continue to be fine. But the question that stood out in my mind was “Would we be together again?”. It was a question that had haunted me ever since I had awaken this morning. Or at least I thought it was morning. I didn’t really keep a good handle on my sleep time. In other words I stayed up until I fall into a comma of sleep and I awake either to my friends or families urges. Well I logged on to my instant messaging service and caught my friend explaining how his vacation had been. As soon as I typed in the word “dream”, all went quiet on his end. That is what made so alike we both wanted to help out a friend, especially if it meant listening to another newly found memory. We were always up for a good meaningful conversation on deep dark thoughts and secrets. So I went ahead and spilled my whole story in gore detail. I told him everything from how the corpses looked, the screams of pain that followed every death blow, and most gruesome of all was the pain in my beloved’s eyes. I explained how I felt, at least the best I could. Certain emotions could just not be explained with words, because of their intensity. When I got to the part where my soulmate died in my arms I had to stop to calm myself enough to type the rest, and when I got to the part where I screamed in anger I had to stop and squeeze a tennis ball so I wouldn’t break the key board. After I was finished was the first time he said anything since I had started my retelling of the memory. He said that he couldn’t say anything beyond what I thought that it meant. I had expected as much. The one thing that I couldn’t even begin to tell him about was the horrible urge to avenge my soulmate’s death. It overwhelmed my thoughts, my feelings, and of course my emotions were consumed. He seemed to know that there was something on my mind though and asked about what else I felt when I had seen her die. It was almost like he had esp! It didn’t really scare me or surprise me, but it always amazed me how in sinc we were even if we only were friends over the Internet. I told him that I wasn’t able to explain what else I felt but it wasn’t bothering me, and not to worry about it. He accepted it even if he didn’t believe it, a fact to which I was very appreciative of. After waking up with the best pick me up I know of, aka:Intellegent conversation, I went to the kitchen to get a pop tart and a soft drink for breakfast. When I looked at the kitchen clock however and realized that it was closer to lunch time than breakfast so instead of a pop tart I decided to pop a pizza in the oven. Our favorite food that is quick around the house is pizza. After the smell wafted through the house to the back bedroom, or my sisters room, my little brother came trotting into the kitchen with a big smile on his face ready for his slice. After we had gotten the mourning pleasentries out of the way I asked What he and my sister were doning in her room. He said that they were playing DDR or Dance Dance Revolution. I had forgotten that my cousins had stayed over last night, and their favorite game was of course DDR. So I went in and wished Newassa and Samantha a good mourning. Then I wished Heather (my sister) good mourning to. And of course Logan (my brother) was on my heels never to be the one to be out of the lime light. Newassa was doing the best from what I could see on the score on the television. I decided to hop in there and try my hand at it even though I know that I’m not to bad I wasn’t sure that I was awake enough to keep myself from falling on my butt, but I thought what the heck. I had a good time during the day and late into the night. I got a few calls from some of my friends, made some progress on a story I was writing called the “Other kin” and just all around was having a good day and got tired and fell asleep………………………………2

There is screaming. Not the screaming of pure innocent beings. No this scream made him smile. The demons were watching in fear, amazement, and fury that anyone could be so powerful. They were also shocked that this being wasn’t holly!!! He was dark, but not evil!!! He had the fighting skills of a guardian angel or fallen angel. He also resembled one. But he had the strength and endurance of one of those beings that have suffered greatly posses. He had tenfold the power of the infamous demon “Erafutu” (who had won the acclaim of even their master), and twenty fold the power of their greatest battle ready demon. And a fire in his eyes that showed that he had plenty more power where that burst came from. His energy grew when he saw the head of a decapitated angel at the feet of a demon. He recognized her. It was his beloved. The flame that had been in this young angels eyes turned into an inferno of emotion. The gate to hell started to crumple at his mear muscle twitch, lesser demons dropped dead before they could get away from his power generating off of him. The stronger demons banned together in an effort to try and suppress his march, but the closer he got the more their power was sapped from them. His aura grew darker but stayed true to its origins. He was an opponent that had twice thrice the power of the 2nd strongest demon in hell. He had long forgotten God’s will and his original purpose. His only thought, his sole drive, his whole existence was to cast these damn demons into an eternal abyss worse than hell, hell was to good for these bastards. They had screwed his existence. They were supposed to be together forever, but now he didn’t know if he would ever see his beloved again. At this thought even hell’s bleakness seemed like paradise to the demons standing in his way. Not known for their brains though the demons decided that they weren’t going down without a fight. They charged with all the strength they could muster against this foe. They came from all sides’ razor sharp teeth, claws, and the most gruesome weapons ever imagined. He looked at the closest demon and moved quicker than anything known to heaven hell and earth. He appeared to have disappeared at first. It wasn’t until demons started dropping or flying through the atmosphere did the demons realize that he hadn’t retreated. Some had their necks broken, others had fist prints on their chests, some where so mutilated by the blinding speed and fury of the attack that it was hard to tell what exactly had happened to them, but none escaped the tempest that was his unbridled rage and force. Terrible and great at the same time, this was it! He was going to end the suffering for himself and take all of Hell with him. He had no idea where dead angels spirits went, nor did he care, HE WOULD MAKE THEM PAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The in an instant everything stopped including this seemingly unstoppable terror from heaven and a light filled the area and dissolved the demons and cast out the shadows. A disabling light………………………3

I awoke in awe of something…..something………..awesomely powerful. So powerful it was almost terrifying. But the essence of the power was familiar, soothing, and emotionally painful at the same time. It seemed to me that every time I had a dream that everything became more and more initially confusing, but after I had sorted through the confusing images, feelings, and loss. Usually I would count that as feelings, however this lose was so intense….so final…..so sad that feeling just didn’t fit. Usually you could feel bad or upset, mad, happy, bored, or something along the normal feelings or mixed feelings and it would fade if not go away completely with time. But this didn’t diminish even after I had awoken.4