Fuck You!!!

I can't believe after all the shit that's piled up today (the convo included as well) that i still haven't broken down and 1) cut or 2) cried.....1

Me:Jaaaack 2

Him: hey.3

Me: I didn't get anything you sent me yesterday after the last message I sent.... what did you say? 4

Him: nothin... forget it....5

Melease just tell me 6

Him:it's nothing.. just forget i said anything7

Me: please..... why.... what's wrong with what you said? 8

Him: just thought to myself after what you said.. and that you left... and endded up getting to the fact that im not good enough for anything. and that im pathetic.. and that I should leave.. 9

Me: that nowhere near true..... if it helps at all, i haven't been able to write a poem in almost 9 months and i've been writing like crazy today thinking of you..... i've finally found my inspiration again....10

Him: Im.. nothing.. im just a figure... not really anything that helps phisicaly...11

Me: what do you mean you're nothing?? you're so much more than you think of yourself.. you don't realize all you can do.12

Him: All I ever could of done is hurt people around me.. big w00t.. what great is that... 13

Me: you do SOO much more than just hurt people... we all do that at one point... i really wish you could see what i see in you. 14

Him: You went away last night... that made my point... all I did was disapoint you... 15

Me: Noooo no no no no no!!! it wasn't my fault! my computer went all crazy and when i was able to get back on it... you were gone.... it wasn't your fault at all!!!!!!! please never ever ever think that you're the reason if i ever leave like that again 16

Him: Dont have to hide it.. I know I did something wrong.. from since you mentioned the past.. I knew somthing I did was wrong.. 17

Me: Noo!! please please please believe me.. i can prove it!! i was talking to another person too and it quit that convo too.. it drove me crazy last night thinking of what i may have missed you saying.. it really wasn't you!! i swear!!!!!!!! 18

Him: *sighs* 19

Me: idk how to try and convince you, but i'm telling the truth....honestly... its my fault for thinking of the past.. its not yours. 20

Him: Im sorry.. but nothing can be as it was... we have to look twards the future not the past... 21

Me: I know... and I realize that.. that why I shouldn't have brought any of it up... I shouldn't have even looked at any of it... It's my fault... but after yesterday, I realized i don't need it to be as it was... i just need.....well.. you.... 22

Him: no.. you just need the feeling... 23

Me:i just need the feeling?? what the hell is wrong with feeling loved by the person you love? yes i need the feeling of you and i.. i miss it so much.... i miss you so much... i love the things you say and the way you make me feel. so yes i need you.. i can't get that feeling from anyone else but you.. i love you so much.... i just don't know if thats enough for you.... i'm so confused right now.