It was 1924. We were somewhere in the Middle East. (“We” being myself, a team of highly trained archeologists from the University, the president of the University’s son, Derrick, and a group of archeology students who had come to carry our gear.) We had stumbled upon this place by mere chance, for it was located in the middle of a thick wood, at the base of a cliff that sprang up suddenly from the ground. “This place” was a clearing, sort of oval in shape, with many shallow caves carved out of the cliff.2
Derrick let out with another “Professor Montague! This is amazing!” He came running up to me, holding what appeared to be a cane of some sort. He gave it to me, and I discovered it to be made of metal, but a lighter metal than any I had felt before. It was cylindrical and perfectly smooth, about a meter in length, and of a grayish color. The only decoration was a jewel at one end. Out of curiosity I began rubbing the jewel. All of a sudden it compressed, as if I had pushed a button. I heard a sort of a jkt sound, and thought I saw a projectile flying through the air, though I couldn’t be sure. Then I aimed it straight up, and pressed the jewel-button. I heard the jkt sound again and after several seconds a long, thin projectile fell at my feet. On closer inspection, I found it to be toothpick shaped, fifteen centimeters long, coming to a point at either end. A rather sharp point, I might add, as Derrick found out the hard way.3
“I’ve never seen anything like it,” said Derrick.4
“I doubt if anyone has,” I said.5
“Wull,” he said, “obviously someone has, or something alive, unless it wuz made by robots, but I don’t think…”6
“Oh, shut up, Derrick! I know you don’t think!” I yelled, losing my patience. This may make me seem rather short-tempered, but I had been putting up with his nonsense all day.7
I stormed off, taking the…whatever it was. That little out burst might cause him to make trouble for me with his father, but oh well. I put the thing in the growing pile of artifacts we had found that were from unknown civilizations. Many of these must have been pre-Flood. 8
Besides these unknown artifacts, we had found Babylonian, Sumerian, Assyrian, Hittite, Egyptian, Greek, and Roman artifacts, as well as some medieval stuff which must have dated back to the first Crusades.9
Just as I was about to suggest the team turn in, I heard Derrick again. You can guess what he said. But this time it really was amazing.10
He led me to what looked like another shallow cave, one of dozens we had found that day. But then he led me down a passage, invisible to the naked eye, which one of the archeologists had found by pure chance, and out into a huge cavern. The cavern was filled with treasure.11
I say that as in a fairy tale, but it’s true. There was silver, gold, some type of metal that our experts judged more precious than gold, as well as precious stones of all kinds, shapes, and sizes, bowls and other everyday objects made of gold and the more precious substance, and almost any other treasure you care to name. By the time I had finished examining the place, pretty much the whole team was gathered in the cave.12
John, the archeologist I had put in charge of this group, wanted to start working on the stuff right away. But I said:13
“No, we’ve had quite enough work for one day. I do believe it’s past our bedtimes. Jones, Adams, you take first watch. Faver, Brethson, you relieve them in a few hours. Good night!”14
* * * 15
I awoke in the morning with the sun. Most of the others were already up, but a few (including Derrick) were still asleep. I woke everyone except Derrick. He would be up soon enough.16
When I judged that everyone had had time enough to go through their morning rituals, I called all the archeologists together to assign the day’s work. I assigned one group to go through the artifacts from known civilizations, another to sort through those from unknown, and another to investigate the “treasure cave.” I joined the latter group.17
Soon we were in the cave, sorting through the treasure. We didn’t even use tools, just sorted through with our bare hands, looking for similarities in design, seeing if the decorations were similar to anything already known.18
We had hardly been at work an hour, when we heard cries outside. Upon rushing out and looking where everyone was pointing (into the sky), we saw what will bring the unbelievable and unaccountable into this story.19
But first I must say as follows: I shall describe it, this unbelievable thing, as I saw it, without any apologies for its existence, nor any attempts to explain how it, this unbelievable thing, came about.20
We looked up, and were dumbfounded by what we saw. There in the sky was what appeared to be a living, breathing, flying pterodactyl. It looked exactly like sketches I had seen in books, with two exceptions. One, it was much larger than anything anyone had probably seen ever. The only thing I can think of to compare it with is a whale. I believe that a certain species of whale is the largest known animal, but it would appear as a dwarf next to this… thing. The other difference was in the shape of the head. Its head was roundish, sort of a dome shape. Somehow strapped to it was what appeared to be a sort of box, apparently wooden. Inside this box were some of the most fearsome warriors I had ever seen. They looked terrifying, even as far away as they were, but up close they were enough to make one faint. Each warrior carried a bow, with which he was deadly accurate.21
The thing passed out of sight, leaving us stunned, speechless, staring open mouthed at the sky. Just as I started to think of doing something, perhaps chasing it or something, it came back. It flew the same rout, except this time it came from behind the cliffs instead of the other way. This time it was flying lower. The third time it flew lower still, but most of us didn’t take the time to notice, for on this third pass the archers let loose a barrage of arrows. Every arrow, it seemed, found a target.22
The thing must have made a sharper turn the next time, for it came back sooner, arrows flying. This jolted us into action. Most of us. All except me. I continued staring at the sky.23
Those that were left alive took boxes and anything else they could find and stacked them up in front of the cliff wall to make barricades. Two separate barricades were formed. They also took the guns and boxes of bullets, so that the next time it came back, they were ready. As it appeared, and got closer and larger, those with guns took careful aim. A few fired prematurely, when it was too far away to hit. As it got closer a continuous stream of shots were rattled off. If any hit what they were intended to (which is doubtful), the bullet simply bounced off.24
It turned around and came back again, flying directly over one of the barricades. The gunners behind that barricade fired straight upwards, but their bullets simply bounced off its underbelly. Some caught their own bullets as they fell to the ground. It was the last bit of fun they would have for a while.25
The thing turned more sharply this time, within sight and firing range, so that a constant stream of arrows was kept up at the barricades. The return fire was slackening off.26
All this time I had been standing in the midst of the clearing, my mouth open. I ought to have found it incredible that I had not been fired upon, but my mind was not processing anything clearly, or I would have been behind a barricade. Suddenly I heard Derrick shouting behind me. I turned and saw him waving his arms and shouting “Professor Montague! Professor Montague!”27
I know I could not have been thinking clearly for my response was, “Hello, Derrick! Isn’t this amazing?”28
He stared at me a second, then started waving his arms and shouting for me to run for cover. As he did this, an arrow took him in the hand, sticking half in and half out. He stared at it for a little bit, then said, “It’s okay, I’m only hit in the ha…aaa…and…” Then he fell over dead.29
Most of what happened for a while after that is a blur. I remember seeing an arrow coming toward me and thinking I would wake up dead. But it wobbled as if someone had hit the arm of the shooter as he released it. I picked it up and inspected the arrowhead. Something oozed off of it. I knew what it must have been, though I had never seen it in that form before. Poison. I threw the thing down in disgust. 30
Soon, I saw the thing making another turn, much sharper than any before. The turn was too sharp, it seemed, for many of the bowmen, who fell out of the box on its head and landed near the edge of the clearing. I expected some of them to die from the fall, or at least break some bones, but none of them so much as flinched. They simply picked themselves up and started down the clearing towards the barricades. Towards me.31
Now I started thinking fast. I dug my fingernails onto the back of my arm, drawing blood. I laced the arrow tip with it, then ripped open my shirt, exposing part of my chest. I smeared that with blood. Then I lay on my back and went limp. I hoped the effect would be that I had been hit in the chest and in a last desperate attempt to save myself had pulled the arrow out and died with it in my hand.32
I heard the warriors approaching, their footsteps sounding closer and closer. A shadow seemed to fall over my closed eyes. I opened them, squeezed them shut again, then remembered I was supposed to be dead and relaxed them. Through my slitted eyes I had seen one of the bowmen. He must have been seven feet tall and one big muscle. Even now I am terrified to think of him. I determined to keep my eyes shut, so as not to risk discovery, but in the end curiosity inevitably got the better of me. Through slitted eyes I watched this humongous, muscled man. Every time he pulled back the bowstring I expected it to break. Surely, I thought, someone has to hit one of them sooner or later. As if I was telepathic, I saw a bullet crash into the warrior’s chest. This is it, I thought, squeezing my eyes shut and waiting for the impact. None came. I slitted my eyes again. Soon anther bullet came, crashing into his neck. He didn’t even flinch. Then I saw it pass out the other side, considerably slowed down, as if it had passed through water.33
Now I closed my eyes again and did my best to stop breathing. I prayed to every god I had ever heard of that I would not be discovered.34
Soon all sounds of battle, if you could call untrained archeologists fighting invincible bowmen a battle, died away. I do not remember fainting, but I remember vividly coming to. I was surrounded by the huge warriors. They were talking in what sounded like some kind of Assyrian. I had studied many ancient languages at the University, and could pick up some words. There seemed to be a lot of ‘yes’ and ‘no’ with something about the life of males or a male. Then I felt a sharp poke in the ribs, and my eyelids fluttered. The warriors let out a huge laugh.35
I knew my game was up. I sat up and glanced nervously around. The warriors laughed again.36
Then it was apparent that someone was making his way through the crowd, and from it emerged the fattest human I had ever seen. He must have had four chins and I have no doubt he had not seen his toes for a millennium. He looked me over, and drawing himself up, looking so superior it was almost unbearable, fired off a phrase in what was probably the most ancient of tongues. When I stared uncomprehending, he tried several other languages before hitting on Latin. After I answered in the same language he said:37
“Ah, why did you not tell me your native tongue to begin with? We have several in the Kingdom who speak similarly to your language.”38
I responded, “This is not my native tongue, and I doubt you have any who do speak my native tongue in your ‘Kingdom.’”39
“We shall soon have one,” he said. “Speak a phrase in your own language.”40
I said (in English), “Hello, this is my native language.” When he motioned for me to keep going, I said, “You look like a fat, stuck up slob, and I hope you can’t understand me yet.”41
“A little more and I think I shall have it,” he said in Latin.42
I kept talking. Finally, in heavily accented English that sounded a bit like German, “I belief I can make out the language that you have. Ask of me any question what you like.”43
“What is that?” I asked, pointing to the pterodactyl-like thing.44
“That?” he gave a short laugh. “That is the King.”45
Before I could formulate another question, he said, “Enough for questions. As soon as the fighters load up in the King, he requires that you accompany us to the Kingdom.”46
“And if I do not want to come?”47
“If the word requires has translated properly, it should not imply choice.”48
At this, I turned and ran. I heard a great screeching sound, heard the ‘King’ take to the air. Then I felt something dig into my back. I must have fainted. Three times in my life I have fainted, and two of them were that day. 49
* * * 50
When I awoke, the first thing I saw was the ocean zooming past thousands of feet below me. Then I saw the huge claw poking through my chest. After that, I knew I should have been scared, but I could not get myself to feel even slightly frightened.51
Then I felt something new running through my veins. I had no idea what it was.52
Soon an island came into sight. Its main feature, indeed its only feature, was a mountain. The object of our flight seemed to be a huge nest. From a distance it seemed to be made of twigs like a common bird’s nest, but as we got closer it became obvious that each “twig” was as big as some of the biggest trees in the world. These were piled on top of each other and held together (as I later found out) by a substance that, when wet, had a texture like mud, but grainier, and when dry was stronger than cement.53
As we approached the nest, I felt the claw I had been skewered on shaking. I realized that the thing was trying to shake me off. I told myself to be afraid, but couldn’t seem to feel fear. I also couldn’t do anything to hang on, so it did shake me loose. I saw that from the way I was falling I would land on the edge of the “nest.”54
I landed face down. I was on a tree that was tipped at a strange angle. When I landed I felt a tree branch somehow puncture my stomach. As I rose up I looked at my stomach, and saw the skin where it had punctured closing up. Then I wondered how I had stayed alive with a huge claw through me and where the hole that it should have left had gone. 55
I took out my pocketknife, which had been clipped to my belt, and drove it onto my arm. It went in, but I felt no pain. I pushed harder. It went out the other side, still with no unusual feeling from my arm. I conducted several other experiments of this nature, which I should have found gruesome, but instead found fascinating.56
After a while I noticed the aft man, previously described, walking along the edge of the nest towards me. When he reached me he asked if I had any questions. Dozens of questions formed in my mind, but every time I tried to put them into words, what I said made no sense. He seemed in a hurry to be somewhere, so after a couple minutes of my gibberish, he drew himself up grandly and said, “Welcome to the Kingdom, newcomer!”57
And stalked off most royally.58
Thus I turned and descended into the Kingdom.59
* * * 60
From on top, the Kingdom’s sides appeared to be smooth, but upon climbing down I found that this was not so. It was a lot like tree climbing, a sort of puzzle of hands and feet. But this was different from the kind of tree climbing I remembered. Imagine climbing down a wall of branches that slope downwards and you will come pretty near what it was like to move in this thing.61
I was not the lone inhabitant of the Kingdom. Indeed, as I climbed down I saw many peoples from different parts of the ancient world. Some of these I recognized by their attire, having studied ancient history, but some were unknown to modern man.62
As I climbed I noticed that between the gaps in the branches there appeared to be rooms, or something of that sort. Curious, I dove into a gap. Inside I found that the muddy substance formed a sort of floor, and the tree trunks formed walls so that, by breaking some things and moving some things and stacking some things and pasting them together I soon had a sort of house. I pasted the things by wetting areas of the mud-stuff with various bodily fluids and while they were wet pasting them on whatever I wanted to. When it dried, it held very well.63
Eventually, I got into a daily routine. I usually slept at night. Not that I needed to, for apparently with “invincibility” came “eternal youth” or some other such unscientific sort of hogwash. Rather, I slept at night because I was in the habit of sleeping at night, and old habits die hard, as the saying goes.64
There was a sort of mealtime. Every day, from higher up on the mountain, came tumbling down piles of a brownish substance. It tasted unlike anything I had known before. 65
When this food came tumbling down, those from the less civilized civilizations would make a mad scramble for it, and wolf it down as if it would disappear if they didn’t eat as much of it as possible as quickly as possible. But there was always plenty to go around, and some to spare. (That which didn’t get eaten seemed to evaporate after a couple of hours.)66
Those of us from more civilized civilizations would wait for the barbarians to eat their fill, and then go down to the bottom of the “Kingdom” where it had fallen and ate our fill.67
I noticed several Romans among these more civilized ones. They seemed to all come and leave together. Rome (as I later found out) had sent several expeditions to seek out the legendary “treasure cave.” The flying Thing and Its warriors had given each expedition the same treatment it had given mine, killing all but one and clawing him, apparently giving him invincibility and all that.68
I had been quite an expert in Latin at the University, and would sometimes converse with them at “mealtime.” Eventually we got to talking more and more. They (there were about eight of them) had built a sort of palace out of sticks etc. and the muddy stuff with several rooms in it into the side of the Kingdom. Their palace had several levels, including an outdoor balcony. After a while I moved in with them. They built me my own room.69
Nearby was another of these palaces. It was inhabited by three English knights who spoke Old English and another who spoke Old French, as well as two or three Vikings (I had heard that some had made it as far as the Mediterranean, but apparently they had come farther than anyone thought). The languages of the English and the Scandinavians were similar, so they could communicate pretty well. One of the English knights spoke French and could translate. However, after a thousand years or so they had developed a common language and could communicate pretty well. I knew all their languages so I could communicate with them and translate what the Romans said.70
Eventually we decided to join our palaces. It took a while, but it did not seem long to us. I named the finished product of our labors in several tongues so every on could understand. The name sounds rather lame in English. It was: The Grand Palace of the Kingdom.71
* * * 72
We talked amongst ourselves a great deal. At first I had to translate quite a bit, but eventually Latin worked itself in with the language the others had developed, so there was little need for my linguistic skills.73
The Thing that had brought us here, the Great Bird as the Romans called it, was a much—discussed subject. The Crusaders thought It was the Devil himself, but the Romans thought differently. Being totally ignorant on the Thing’s true nature, we made up many wild theories, most of which were not very plausible. However, this whole thing was not very plausible.74
We always ate our daily meal together, waiting for the brutes to finish before going down. After a while, we began noticing this guy. He looked like he’d been in the Kingdom a while. He never ate or said anything to us, just sat and watched as we ate, and listened to our conversation. Finally we got annoyed. We determined to make contact with him, if not through words, then with signs. At the next mealtime, we saw him and determined to approach him.75
Six of us, including me, came toward him cautiously. However, he spoke before we did. He greeted us in what was more or less our language, though he had a heavy accent. I thought he looked familiar, and told him so. He said, “Ah, yes, you who have so recently entered the Kingdom will remember being greeted by my brother.”76
I held out my hands, palms inwards, and moved them around to indicate a large stomach, and raised my eyebrows. He laughed and said, “Yes that is he.77
When asked why he was not with his brother, he said, “Allow me to accompany you to your Great Palace and I shall tell you more.” 78
* * * 79
He was taken back to the Palace and seated in a round room we called the Discussion Room. It was a roundish room built specially for having discussions. He was seated in the center, all of us in a circle around him.80
He began: “Before the Great Punishment, creatures of the type you call ‘Great Bird’ were numerous. It was rumored that they knew the secret of Immortality, but it was assumed that after the Punishment all had died. How the one living farther up the mountain survived is a mystery.81
“My civilization reached its peak about four hundred years after the Punishment. But then the very same Great Bird who carried all of you here began to make raids upon it, demolishing and destroying the cities one by one. I was born about a century after these raids began. One day I and my brother (the fat one) were playing in the streets of our city when Bird came. While those around us screamed and ran, we who knew nothing of this great terror simply stood and stared. Bird came down on us and took us in his clawed hands and bore us here. He did not claw us, however, so we were not yet wrought unchanged.82
“We grew up in this…” [The Frenchman filled in our word for nest.] “…In this nest. Bird fed us every day, in the same manner he feeds all the others here. My brother grew quite fat.83
“When we were older, Bird flew down from high up in the mountain, screaming, and clawed both of us. When we woke, we found ourselves in the condition you find yourselves in, which I need not describe. Then Bird gave us a choice, somehow communicating without words. Bird said, though we seemed immortal, we were now dependant on Bird for life. Bird’s choice was: Stay here and join the common rabble, or come with Bird and be Bird’s servant and have a chance at true Immortality.84
“I knew not what was meant by common rabble, and little of Immortality. But I knew of servitude, and deeply resented the idea of it, and so chose to stay here. My brother, however, chose servitude and so I gather became Bird’s Representative.85
“This is my story. I cannot, I think, add much to it.”86
One of the Romans asked, “What is this Great Punishment of which you speak?”87
“Surely,” he responded, Man cannot have forgotten the Punishment ? The Great Punishment, when Man so offended the God that He flooded the earth, and only two of every creature and but a few men were allowed to live?”88
“Then how did the Bird survive?” asked another Roman.89
“That is a matter of some mystery,” responded the man. “Perhaps Bird flew during the Flooded time, or perhaps Bird was an egg which hatched after the Flooded Time.”90
“And what of the powerful bowmen by which we were all attacked?” asked the Frenchman.91
Said he, “I have heard of these bowmen, from you and from others. I know nothing of them, nor have I seen them. They must have come after the departure of my brother.”92
The next question was, “But friend, if we may call you such, by what name shall we address you?” 93
“I have been called many things,” he responded, “but you shall call me Shashnob. It was a very common name among my people. I always thought it a well—sounding name. And, since it is apparently not so common now, it is what I should like to be called.”94
Many other questions were asked of Shashnob, none of them worth putting down here. Some of the old theories we had formed during our discussions were brought up, and Shashnob was able to tell us if they were plausible. Mostly they were not. After a long while, interest waned. The others trickled out a few at a time so that eventually only Shashnob and I remained.95
“Now Shashnob,” I said, “I would like to ask you a question which has been burning within me since the day I met your brother.” He nodded for me to continue. “Both of you seem to have the incredible ability to listen to a language for a short while, before being able to speak it fluently. How is this possible?”96
Shashnob responded, “Ah, the answer to this is very simple. You know, of course, of the Confusion of Tongues?”97
I stared blankly.98
“Surely Man cannot have forgotten the Confusion of Tongues? When the God so confused Man’s speech that only a few could speak and understand each other?”99
“The Tower of Babel,” I said.100
“Yes, I believe it was something to do with a tower. Any way my brother and I and a couple of others Bird brought here before the Confusion so we have retained what we call Original Speech. Since our language is the root of all others, it is similar to all others, and therefore sounds like them. Therefore we find that, on hearing a language spoken, we recognize its similarities to ours and it takes but a little while for us to speak that language. The others also say that our language, when spoken with enough power and will to be understood, will be by all those nearby, no matter what race or language.”101
Suddenly an idea occurred to me.102
“Shashnob,” I said. “Would you teach me your language? For I am, or was, a studier of languages and it would be a great asset to me if I knew how to speak the root of all languages.”103
He laughed and said, “I doubt that you shall ever have a chance or a need to practice your vocation again. But I will teach, if you like.”104
So he started in right then, and began my instruction in Man’s Original Speech. I should put down here something he told me several days later. I had asked him about the others he had referred to that spoke the Original Language. He said that he had talked much with them during the early days, when they were the only ones in the Kingdom. But those others had all been royalty-types, and shunned Shashnob when they found he was not. 105
* * * 106
We built Shashnob a room, and he moved in. There were many lengthy discussions, mostly concerning the Bird and Its nature and history. I tried several times to explain that the “Bird” was not much of a bird, but more of a reptile. Nobody seemed to understand, except perhaps Shashnob.107
There was so much discussion and theory—making about the Bird that I finally declared we were flogging a dead horse. (I had to give a lengthy explanation of that phrase.) Then there were many discussions about how to stop “killing the horse” as the Frenchman put it. These discussions inevitably led to the forming of an expedition to climb the mountain and investigate what the Bird did all day. It all looks so nice and simple in one sentence like that, but the conclusion was the result of hours of heated debate. The chief opposition came from the Crusaders, who still believed that the Bird was really the Devil himself, or at least a close friend. They were never argued out of that belief. The only reason they came was because everyone else was coming, and they did not want to be left out.108
The idea of a sort of scientific expedition was mine. It took some explaining, especially to the Romans, that we were going to watch the Bird and not try to conquer It. All the others (except Shashno
had been taken from military expeditions of one kind or another.109At first, I thought I would be afraid. Since childhood heights had made me woozy. Then I realized I had no reason to be afraid. For when one has no loved ones and no possessions, the only thing he has to fear is death. And since I could not die, there was nothing to be afraid of. 110
* * * 111
We started off, seventeen of us spread across the mountain. Climbing was rather easy, simply a matter of finding footholds and hand holds and pulling ourselves up. There was, of course, no concern for safety. A couple people fell down, falls which would normally kill them. The rest of us simply stopped and waited for them to climb back to where we were.112
Partway up we noticed a smooth groove, as if the rocks had been worn away by constantly running water. As we got farther up the groove became more pronounced. Then we heard a sort of rumbling noise, which grew louder and louder. Looking up, we saw what appeared to be a brown cloud. It grew larger and larger, descending rapidly. We were in its path. Then I realized what it was. Our food! Needless to say, most of us ended up in the bottom of the Kingdom. 113
* * * 114
I and the others who had been knocked down collected ourselves and started back up. We found the rest of the group waiting for us.115
We broke into two groups now, keeping a good distance form the groove but keeping it in sight for we thought it would lead us to the Bird.116
After a while a shout from someone on the far right brought us all climbing sideways to see what he had found.117
It was another nest-like structure, similar to the Kingdom but smaller. It was perhaps fifteen feet wide and ten deep at its lowest point, and there were no visible nooks and crannies. In this nest, which we named the Miniature Kingdom, were the warriors who had scared us all so much when we were first captured.118
We watched them a while, Shashnob and I trying to pick up their language. It was a very unintelligent language, full of obscenity. I don’t know that they had a word for think, either.119
After a while we got bored and continued up the mountain. We climbed for a time, then there was a shout from the left side of the line and everyone climbed that way to see what was there. It was a nest, similar to the Miniature Kingdom, but smaller. In it were many bows and quivers full of arrows. The Romans were greatly interested. We gave it the simple name of the Armory. 120
* * * 121
Finally we reached the top. As I guessed, the Bird had built another nest-like structure. This was perfectly round, built like the nest of the warriors, but the bottom was flat instead of sloping. It rather resembled a saucer with no teacup on it. In the center was a sort of round pool, with a substance in it that is best described as looking like blue Jell-O.122
I was the first to put my head above the rim of the nest. I quickly put it down again. I had forgotten how fearsome the Bird looked! It did appear, as previously described, like a giant pterodactyl. It had scales like an alligator, but of a brown-green color. Its eyes were little dots, the beadiest, blackest things you ever saw. And no matter how you looked at It, It appeared to be looking back at you. As to the Bird’s size, well, I believe the great blue whale is the largest creature known to man. One of Its wings could easily crush the biggest whale and not know it.123
The seventeen of us spread around the lip of the nest, watching the Bird. Directly across from it, on the other side of the blue pool, sat Shashnob’s fat brother. Next to him were a bow and a quiver full of arrows just like the ones in the armory.124
The Bird sat on Its talons. It used Its wings like hands, scooping from the blue pool and dropping a glob of the Jello-ish substance on the ground in front of It. Then It would mold this glob into a ball and set it aside. It repeated this process a dozen or so times, then picked up the balls and ate them one by one.125
It went through this process twice, Shashnob’s brother contemplating as if half asleep. Partway through the third time it repeated this, the fat one got up as if to stretch his legs. He moved along the edge of the nest, walking slowly. He carried the bow with an arrow fitted in the string. When he was on the same side of the pool It was, he made a running leap and grabbed one of the balls. It let out a terrible scream and swept one of its huge wings towards fatso. The ball flew up into the air. The Bird knocked it back into the pool.126
Then the Bird spread Its wings and made as if It was going to peck the fat one. But he drew the bow back, and yelled something in a horrible-sounding language of caws and screeches. At this the Bird seemed to reconsider what It was about to do. It resumed Its former position.127
When the incident was over, I turned to Shashnob, who was next to me, and said, “Shashnob, I have this feeling that your brother’s words were about a weakness.”128
He said, “Yes, I have that feeling too.”129
“But how do we know? Surely the Bird’s language could not have come from the Tower?”130
“No, the understanding of those languages seems to come from my head. This understanding seems to come form somewhere else. My stomach, I think.”131
Just then one of the Scandinavians, on my other side, leaned over and said, “I think the words of that fat man were something about a weakness.”132
“How do you know?” I asked.133
“My stomach seems to tell me.” 134
* * * 135
We watched the Bird for quite a while after that. After It had eaten several dozen “rounds” of the blue balls, It raised Itself up. It backed up and sat on a spot on the side of the nest that looked like he’d sat there many times before. The groove we had been following led right up to it. The Bird made motions as if It were straining. Finally It seemed to find relief. Out of Its hindquarters came… I need not spell it out. There was a lot of it. As I looked down, it looked like a great brown cloud rapidly descending.136
I watched it grow smaller and smaller, then disappear. I wondered where it would land. Then I realized. In the Kingdom. It had been landing there for years. This fecal matter was our daily meal!137
It took a moment for this to sink in. When it did, I was sure I could feel steam coming out of my ears. I was equally sure I had eternally lost my appetite. I glanced over at Shashnob. The look on his face told me he had figured it out too. “Let’s go,” I said. He nodded affirmative.138
About two-thirds of us had figured it out. The others were mystified as to why we were leaving in such a hurry. We said we would explain when we got back.139
At first I tried to gingerly feel my way down, climbing backwards. Then I remembered I couldn’t die. So I got out onto a ledge that was hanging out a ways, took a running start, and leaped. It was the most wonderful feeling I had ever known, hanging in midair eternally, it seemed. I felt small, insignificant, unimportant, unknown, unreal. But most of all I felt Freedom!140
I landed at the bottom of the Kingdom. I looked up and saw my companions hurtling down toward me, looking like a lot of projectiles. The freedom of flight disappeared. Now I was just mad. A lot of the others were mad too, while some just looked confused.141
I had acquired a reputation as the “smart one,” simply because my education was a millennium more advanced than most of the others (except Shashnob, for his civilization was apparently quite advanced). As the smart one I was constantly being pestered by the more ignorant ones about the reasons for things. I was now being pestered by the group who couldn’t figure out why everyone was so angry. As I stormed up to my room, too angry to speak, they followed me. They did not say anything, but stared inquiringly. Finally one ventured to speak. I cut him off with the first English words I had spoken in a long time: “Shut up!” I don’t think they understood the words, but apparently I made my meaning clear for they left. I think Shashnob brought them into the discussion room and explained, for I soon heard angry shouts from there.142
I lay on my bed (half a log supported by two smaller logs) and thought. The only thing I could think was: Revenge. Soon I began to formulate a plan. 143
* * * 144
At the next feeding time I stood on the edge of the Kingdom. I had picked the perfect spot so that my voice would bounce and echo and carry throughout the Kingdom. I chose the perfect time for my speech: Just as the “barbarians” were done eating and were heading in, and when the “civilized” people were coming out. I made my speech in the Original Tongue. My anger at the Bird, I thought, would give me the will to be heard by all. Apparently I was right.145
“People of the Kingdom,” I said. “We have all been brought here by a great Bird-like creature. This creature has always been something of a mystery. That is, until recently, when my companions and I, desiring knowledge about this Bird, set off up this mountain to try and learn more about it. We learned many things. But one thing in particular you will want to know: This stuff, which you think is food, which you have been eating for thousands and thousands of years, is nothing more than the by-products of Its digestive system!” Simplifying it for the barbarians, I said: “It is exactly the same as what comes out of you when you eat too much!”146
It was not the most brilliant piece of oration ever delivered, but it got its point across. Everyone seemed ready to explode.147
I continued, “ But this is not all we found. We found also that the Bird has a weakness. Come! Follow me and we will find Its weakness and repay It in accordance with the way It has treated us!148
A great cheer was raised and we set out up the mountain. 149
* * * 150
We armed ourselves at the Armory. There were not quite enough bows and arrows for everyone. The unarmed ones complained, but there was nothing to be done.151
When we got to the top, the Bird was in the middle of Its ball-making process. As we climbed in to the nest, It spun around. Seeing our angry faces, It began making some placating-sounding caws. When It saw us string arrows to our bows, the caws turned angry. 152
Shashnob’s brother translated for the Bird, in the Original Tongue. “He says you are all being extraordinarily stupid! He gave you Immortality, and He can also take it away! If you destroy Him, you also shall be destroyed!”153
“Ignore him!” Yelled Shashnob in the same language. “Fire your weapons!”154
A hail of arrows flew up towards the Bird. There was a constant twang of bowstrings and a whiz of arrows. All the projectiles bounced off the Bird’s tough scales, making hard thump sounds, but more arrows were constantly being launched.155
The fat brother looked around to see who had defied his orders. He caught sight of Shashnob. “You!” he yelled and came running at him. Both Shashnob and I, more from reflex than anything I think, fitted arrows to our bows and let fly at fatso. One of the arrows hit him right between the eyes. It went right through. The other arrow hit him right in the eye. It did not pass through. Shashnob’s fat brother fell over dead.156
I stared at him for a moment. Then I figured it out. “Lath veran! Lath veran!” I shouted. (“The eyes! The eyes!”)157
All the arrow-fire was immediately directed toward Its eyes. It had been herding us with Its wings in the direction of the Kingdom. Finally one the arrows flew true, hitting one of Its eyes. Two arrows hit the other eye. Suddenly I had a feeling maybe this wasn’t such a great idea after all.158
The Bird launched Itself off the side of the nest, unknowingly knocking hundreds of us (including me) off with It. As we hurtled downward It made a vain attempt to fly. Then the Bird died. Its wings flew up with a terrible flimsiness, and it dropped towards the Kingdom, with its former occupants all around.159
The instant the Bird died, it was as if a plug had been pulled and the water was going down the drain. I could feel the life leaving me a little at a time. Then we crashed into the Kingdom. The small, frail human bodies had little impact. The body of the Great Bird, on the other hand, crashed into it and scattered trees and hardened mud every which way. There were human bodies mixed in there as well. The wood floated. Most of the bodies, including that of the bird, sank immediately. I, however, with what little strength I had left, grabbed a nearby log and held on. There was a great rumbling noise behind me. I turned and saw the mountain, former home to the Great Bird and Its Kingdom, sink into the sea. A great tiredness came over me. I allowed my head to sink down, and down, and down, until it rested on the log I was holding on to.160
I jerked it up suddenly, on an instinct. There floating in the water in front of me was a perfectly round ball. It seemed to be made of some sort of blue Jell-O. I grabbed it and ate it. Instantly I felt refreshed, felt the strength returning to my body. I felt as I had before, when It was alive, only moreso. I was once again immortal.161
I let go of the log, for I did not need it any more. I walked across the ocean floor to dry land. 162
* * * 163
And so, here I am writing this account. I have taken up the study of languages at another university under another name. Languages come very easily to me now, though I have all but forgotten the Original Tongue. All, that is, but two words: Lath veran! Lath veran! The eyes! The eyes!164
Which reminds me of another thing: I believe I shall become a pacifist, especially as concerns shooting sports. If there is one section of ancient history I wish to be ignorant in, it is that of the bow and arrow. 165
The End
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