What Happened?!

1

"Amber, you PROMISED me you wouldn't cut ANYMORE!!"2

"I'm sorry Jos! I just couldn't take it anymore!"3

"Well, you could've CALLED me or something! THINK ABOUT IT!"4

This wasn't the first fight they'd had about Amber's addiction. It was like she was cutting over little stuff now, not just the major things.5

"Amber,... baby, PLEASE, I'm BEGGING YOU! Please don't do that anymore!" Joscelin said pointing to the slashes on her legs.6

"Joscelin, I promise... I'm really trying," she lied. 7

The truth was, she wasn't trying. Cutting was her only escape. All she had left. She couldn't talk to them; they wouldn't understand. She couldn't ask for help, for everyone would label her, and he rep was VERY important to her. She was crying inside and hoping for someone, somewhere to hear,... but no one ever did. 8

"Amber, it hurts..."9

"I'm SORRY Jos. I QUIT! I swear!"10

They both sat there, staring at each other with total commitment and love for the other. Joscelin knew she was lying, but he didn't say a word. Amber knew Joscelin loved her and only wanted the best for her... so she kept quiet too.11

"I love you Amber Nicole Brady..."12

"I love you too Joscelin Dimitri Forte"13

"Baby, please try... that's all I'm asking you. Just try... for me," he said at one last attempt to sink in her head. "I just don't want to lose you."14

"I'm sorry. I promise... on our relationship... that I won't cut anymore." Amber said, barely able to speak.15

They both stared at her legs and the deep gashes she had inflicted upon herself. She knew there were other ways to cope. She knew there wasn't ONLY cutting. She wanted so desperately to stop; she just didn't know where to begin.16

~THREE MONTHS LATER~17

"BABY! You should be sooo proud of me! I haven't cut in THREE MONTHS TODAY!" 18

"I AM proud of you sweetie." Joscelin said smiling peacefully. "Just please... keep it up."19

"I will baby." She said, not intending to ever slip up and cut again.20

~FOUR DAYS LATER~21

"Amber, I have something to tell you. Please don't be mad at me."22

Amber, expecting the worst said, "What?! What happened baby?! I won't be mad. Just tell me!! PLEASE!" 23

"I'm scared," he said mouse like.24

"Joscelin, PLEASE, what did you do?!"25

"I did something I thought I would never do, something I made you swear you wouldn't do, something too hurtful to say." he managed to get out. "I'm soo sorry."26

"WHY?!" Amber said, confused and heartbroken. "Why would you do that to yourself? Even you said it was stupid and and pointless and didn't work for you!" 27

"I don't know..."28

"FUCK NO! You're not gonna tell me something like that and then say 'I don't know'!"29

"See, I knew you were gonna be mad at me. I'm sorry. I should go."30

"No Jos. I'm sorry. I'm overreacting. I'm not mad,... just hurt and confused. Was it me?! Did I do something to drive you to the point of breaking? Did I do something so horrible that you had to manipulate your body like I once did? Was it me... honestly?"31

"Baby, NO it wasn't you. It couldn't have possibly been you. You're what makes me happy. You make me happier than anyone or anything ever could. I love you with ALL my heart. I don't know WHY I did it, but I am sooo fucking sorry." 32

"I,... I just LOVE you Joscelin." she cried. "I LOVE YOU!"33