Crazy

"Elle, please! Please don't go! I've given you all I have, and you know that!" I yelled, running after the cab. 1

Elle just looked at me through the window, a slight hint of sadness, or maybe it was a smirk, on her angel face.2

"Elle! I love you!" my voice died then, as I fell to the ground on my knees. How had things gotten like this?3

.......4

I'm Noah Cantore. For the past two years I've been dating Elle Watkins. I'll never forget meeting her. It was at a party my friend Drake was having, celebrating buying his first house. Elle was a friend of a girl he knew. When she walked into the house, my knees literally gave out. She was gorgeous.5

Elle has these sapphire blue eyes that sparkle when she smiles, and this shiny, soft, golden blonde hair that reaches to her shoulders. She has a tan; one of those nice sun-kissed tones. You can tell she works out. She's slender, and there is just a hint of muscle definition in her arms. Her smile is big and contagious. Her voice is so fluid. When she speaks, you can't help but be captivated and listen.6

"Noah! Hello! Earth to Noah," Drake said while waving his hand in front of my face.7

"What?" I aksed, turning to face him.8

"Just trying to keep you from looking like a friggin idiot," he stated. "You were drooling all over the floor."9

"I was not drooling!" I said, my eyes following the gorgeous creature named Elle around the room. "She's...she's...nice looking." 10

"Hahaha! 'Nice looking'? I'd say you think she's more than nice looking. Want me to introduce her to you?"11

"Uhh, sure," I mumbled and Drake went off to get Elle. Suddenly I became very nervous. Did I look ok? Does she go for guys with hair as long as mine (it's curly black har that reaches to my shoulders)? Before I could try to adjust anything, Drake was back and Elle was with him.12

"Elle, this is my man Noah. Noah, this is my girl, Elle." Drake smirked. "I'm going to let you two get to know each other."13

"Hey," I said, extending a hand. "I'm Noah, like he said. Nice to meet you."14

Elle laughed. Man her laughter was like bells. "I'm Elle. Hahah, Drake is always trying to introduce me to some guy he thinks I'll like."15

"I know what you mean, only he's always trying to introduce me to girls," I laughed. "So what do you do?"16

"I'm an aspiring actress," Elle said. "For now I'm just doing some general community theater. I'm going to go to Hollywood eventually, unless I find a reason to stay here."17

"Who doesn't want to stay in New York?" I asked. "Hollywood is a tough business."18

"Are you trying to tell me I can't make it?" Elle asked with an eybrow raised and a hint of annoyance in her voice.19

"I'm not saying that at all," I tried to defend myself. "I can't make a judgement because I've never seen you act. But I've known plenty of good people who haven't made it there."20

"True," she said. "So what do you do?"21

"I'm a photographer." 22

"Oh really? That's sweet...hey, I need to get going. Early rehearsal tomorrow. You should come see the show, we open next week at the Riverview theater." Elle said, turning towards the door. "We're doing 'Jesus Christ, Superstar'. It starts at 7 on Wednesday." And with that, she turned to walk out the door.23

A mix of emotions stirred in my stomach as I watched her leave. I wanted her, but something was telling me to stay the hell away.24

............25

I didn't listen to the voice that said stay away. I went and saw Elle perform on opening night. Everything about her performance was incredible. Her singing was so majestic, and it seemed that she was the character she portrayed. I became more and more taken with her that night. It wasn't like I didn't think about her all the time already.26

I met Elle at the backstage entrance and presented her with a boquet of daisies as a congratulatory gift. 27

"Oh Noah! These are beautiful! How did you know daisies were my favorite?" 28

"Lucky guess. Wanna go out for some dinner?"29

"Sure!"30

We grabbed dinner at a nondescript little diner close to her apartment. We sat there just chatting until closing. The more we talked, the more I found myself falling for this girl. It wasn't love yet, but I knew that I'd be in love with her in no time at all. 31

And boy was that the truth! When I dropped Elle off at her apartment that night, she kissed me goodnight. Not just a little peck, but a full lip on lip kiss. No girl had ever kissed me on the first date. No girl had ever kissed me first. So began our romance.32

The first year of our romance was great! No problems whatsoever; just two people wonderfully in love with each other. I knew that I wanted to marry Elle at the end of that year. I began to drop hints about possible marriage. You know, by saying things like "I'd kind of like to be like that someday," when seeing an old couple walking in the park.33

But Elle, it's hard to say. She acted like she wanted to be with me, but then she'd pull away. Sometimes she'd talk about moving out to LA to pursue an acting career out there. Her attention began focusing on the many men that contsantly lusted after her. Not easy for me to take, you know? I wasn't just going to sit back and be walked all over by her. I confronted her about it.34

"Elle, what was with that guy after the show last night?"35

"What do you mean, Noah?" Elle asked innocently, pushing a loose lock of that beautiful blonde hair behind her ear.36

"You know what I am talking about, Elle," I said. "The one in the navy slacks and white shirt."37

"Ohh him? That's Derrick Rawson. Don't worry about it, he's just a fan."38

"Seems to me like people don't usually go out for drinks with fans." I countered.39

"Would you give it a rest, Noah? Geesh! You've been acting like a pissy girl latley. Just get over it. It was an innocent drink!"40

I could tell Elle was getting angry, and I didn't want to make her any more irritated, so I just left it at that and got her roses instead. I decided to try and be more understanding, and treat her with the utmost respect, but nothing was helping. It was driving me insane. She'd be out until two in the morning doing God knows what with God knows who. Everytime I'd try to talk to her about it, tell her my feelings, she'd blow up at me. Yell at me about how I wasn't being very understanding. She had to be personable with her fans, otherwise she wouldn't be able to get a following. Then she'd talk about how maybe she should just move to LA without me because I wouldn't be able to handle it.41

But she never made good on her promises to leave me. The next day she'd be back at my door, begging for forgivness. I just couldn't put my foot down with her. She had those eyes....and that voice...and that body...and I loved her! I'd just forget about the whole thing and kiss her anyway, but then later that night she'd be back at it again. It was becoming more than I could take. Here I was, giving Elle everything I had, and all she would do was cast it to the wayside.42

Two months ago was my breaking point. I cought her at a bar with Derrick. They were kissing pretty intensely for being "just friends". That was it. We were going to have a talk, her and I. I went up to her and just stood there til she looked at me.43

"Noah! What...what are you doing here? This isn't what it looks like." Elle said slowly, startled.44

"Yeah, I don't believe you. Let's go have a talk, shall we?" I said with a hint of anger rising in my voice. Elle sighed, got up, and followed me outside. 45

"I don't see what your problem is," Elle started once we got outside.46

"Don't see what my problem is? Elle? Are you serious?" My voice rose. 47

"Nothing was meant by that kiss, Noah. Gosh! You're being controlling now."48

"Me being controlling? So what? Is it too much to ask that you remain faithful to me if you love me? Do you really love me Elle? Or are you just using me as a fallback guy? This you are/you aren't is driving me crazy! I'm a slave to you Elle! I can't do anything for myself anymore, I'm always having to try and win you over, and I shouldn't have to do that! It's killing me love! It's killing me!" My voice died off.49

Elle stood there for a moment, her eyebrows furrowed in thought. "I'm not going to give up on my fans," she said finally. Firmly.50

"Well then, it's over." I said, walking towards my car. I turned back to look at her before getting in. She was still standing there, but I couldn't tell if she was smiling or crying.51

In the morning, the full realization of what I had done the night before hit me full force. I felt panic, then anger at myself. How could I let this woman control me so? Nevertheless I went to the flowershop and got two dozen roses. I drove to the theater and went backstage, but Elle's seat at the mirror was empty. "Where's Elle?" I asked Faith, the girl next to her empty seat.52

"She's leaving for LA right now."53

"What?"54

"If you wanna catch her, you'd better go," Faith said.55

I sped to Elle's house. She was loading her things into the trunk of the cab. "Elle! Wait!" I called, grabbing the roses. But Elle didn't wait. She got into the back of the cab.56

"Elle! Please! Please don't go!"57

Then she was gone. Everything I ever wanted, leaving me in the street on my knees. And even though it's been two months, I can't get her out of my head. I'm never going to get her back.58

And it drives me crazy.