Alice lay on her bed, her skin cold, dark rings under her eyes. She had been ill for several weeks, the doctors had all rejected her, saying that there was no hope for this girl. Young Alice, had never know the fruit of happiness, never tasted the joy of love. She had always lived a selfish greedy life. Never stopping to think once of what may meet her, at the end of her journey. 1
And now, as she stared at the ceiling of her large room, she wished she had. Her light translucent curtains fluttering in the breeze. They were like ghosts, the sins of her past. The remnants of what was once a beautiful mansion lay in ruins. Alice knew now that her only friends cared only for her money. 2
After she had become ill, they never once visited her. Outside, the full moon cast shadows along the ground. They slithered like snakes. The darkness was suffocating. Then Alice trembled in terror, as she knew her final moments were coming. 3
She heard them before she saw them. Light breaths, like the sound of rustling leaves. She gasped as they appeared before her. Tall hooded figures swept all around her. She could see that they were floating. The messors had come to claim her. 4
She could see their bones glimmer in the light of the moon, rotted, peeling flesh hung loosely on their skeletal faces. They had no eyes. There was only a black abyss staring back at her. As she gazed into those lifeless hollows, she saw all the errors of her life.5
Inside those holes there was a darkness thicker than the sins of any man. It was a darkness that paralyzed her from deep inside. The darkness that kept all frozen. Not even the bravest or strongest of men could venture away from their spell. 6
One of the messors reached out a finger and pointed it at her. The others nodded. Then they closed around her, the darkness was growing deeper, until all she could do was watch as the moonlight disappeared, and the rancid breath of the reapers as they breathed onto her. 7
Then she closed her eyes, and held her breath inside herself. The messor who had pointed at her took her into his arms, and draped her over his shoulder. She opened her eyes, to see herself lying on her bed, pale and frozen. Her eyes wide, yet watching nothing. The wind whistled a mourning song as Alice slivered away, with the shadows of the night.
Author notes
For those who don't know (and most of you most likely dont) a messor is a reaper- like the grim reaper- only in latin. Lol. I totally wrote this in 6th grade. 
What do you think?
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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Uh.... Yay? GO GRIM REAPER!!!!!! You wrote this in 6th grade? I never knew that o.o... OMG! Have you seen Missa's Eye Man?!?! O.O That thing traumatized me!!
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awesome story! At first I thought you were talking about Alice from Twilight! ha ha. anyway it was really good.
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good story vey effective use of words
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Thanks!
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Lols, thank you for the author notes at the end, but I figured it out half way through that the messor was a reaper. This was interesting to say the least! At one point, I was thinking that you were going to have something about werewolves in your story, but you caught me by surprise. The plot was very well penned, as well as your descriptions, and the emotions. I enjoyed reading this short passage. Keep up the good work!
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Thanks! ...Werewolves? How so?
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lol maybe it was just me, but when I read the lines....
......."Outside, the full moon cast shadows along the ground. They slithered like snakes. The darkness was suffocating. Then Alice trembled in terror, as she knew her final moments were coming. 3
She heard them before she saw them. Light breaths, like the sound of rustling leaves. "........
For some reason I thought OMG Werewolves! XD I was not disappointed however with the reapers. They were quite interesting! lol I guess I had read one too many werewolf stories before I came to yours. lol
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