I'm Alive! [Previously 5 October 2008] Chapters 1-3

Note: This is a fictitious story. This does/did not happen to me.1

Chapter 12

Amy3

“I’ll be so glad when I turn eighteen,” I told my best friend, Riley Williams. “Then I won’t have to trespass on your doorstep anymore.”4

“Come on Amy. You know I don’t mind, especially from all these horror stories you tell me,” Riley said, placing a plate of food in front of me. I looked at the clock--5:45 PM. In an hour I’d do my homework and then I’d go to bed. It was pretty easy because I could always alter my schedule and he wouldn’t mind at all. That’s why I chose to live with Riley, aside from the fact that he doesn’t hurt me because he’s been hurt as well.5

You see, I live with Riley because my parents abuse me like crazy. I won’t go into it because I think you know what abuse looks like--fear and black and blue. Fear to get too close to anyone and to go home. Sure, I’ve had to go back home because Child Services found me. I always try to outrun them, but sometimes I’ve been caught and of course Riley and his sisters Alexandra and Vanessa would cover for me when they could and it works about half the time. I only go home when my parents need to sign something; they’re just disappointed it’s not to a new house on my own, bought and paid. But, I’m only seventeen--just turned in July--but I’ll be eighteen and finally can get out of Riley’s hair.6

I get up to put my food in the microwave and turned to Riley. “I love you… and I’ve got to get to the Laudromat. I’m out of clean clothes.”7

“When are you going? Tonight?,” Riley asked, concerned.8

“Yeah, like right now. Before it gets dark, you know?”9

“Amy… what about homework?”10

“We take it with us, Silly,” I said, a smile creeping across my slowly healing face. 11

“is it all sorted?,” he asked.12

“Uh-huh. Has been for the past three days.”13

“Alright then. Get your wig and make up on so we can go.”14

“Okay,” I said, getting up from my seat and leaving the kitchen for my room. We both remember the last time I went for a walk without my disguise on.15

~16

(Flashback)17

It was a few weeks back when I had gone to the supermarket to pick up a few things for Riley (because despite the fact that he doesn’t mind me living with him, I still have to do small things--like go to the grocery store.). I was in a rush and forgot to put my wig and makeup on and was spotted by my parents and they called Child Services, who chased me all the way to Riley’s house. I bolted up the stairs and nearly lost my keys. When I got inside I tore up the stairs and into my room. Riley followed me, bewildered.18

“Amy?”19

I turned around. “They followed me. They saw me,” I said, crying.20

“Who?”21

“My… my p-p-par-rents s-s-saw m-me.”22

“Oh God,” he said, shocked.23

Knock, knock BANG24

“Stay, Amy,” he said and went down the stairs. I crept over to the door to hear what they had to say. “Can I help you?,” he asked politely.25

“Do you know Amy Daniels? Do you know who she is?”26

“I’m afraid I don’t know who she is. Why do you ask?”27

“Because we’ve been chasing her for the last three miles and she stopped here.”28

“I’m telling you, I don’t know who she is!,” he exclaimed.29

Tears start rolling down my face as I sit on the bed. Why don’t I just kill myself now? I thought as my doom was quickly unraveling. Footsteps came up the stairs and I tried to hide in the closet.30

“Oh, Amy...we’re not going to hurt you. Come on out, Dear,” my mother, Susan, called. I remained in the closet.31

“Try and hurt her,” Riley said, “and you’ll have to go through me.”32

“We’ll keep that in mind,” my father, Richard, said silkily. His voice turned mean as he tore Riley’s guest room--my room--apart. I let out a little scream that I hoped only Riley could hear. When I heard the footsteps come for the closet, thoughts of surrendering actually came to mind but I beat them back. No way was I, Amy Daniels, going to surrender to my parents anytime soon. They’d have to find their meal (me) if they wanted it so bad.33

Unfortunately for me, I was I found, dragged out by my arms (with more bruises on my legs) and beaten for leaving--right there in Riley’s presence. He called 911 via his cellphone and police had to use a lot of force to get them off me. They took me to a hospital to get cleaned up and I was sent back with Riley.34

~35

“Amy? Why are you crying?, Riley asked me. “Are you remembering that incident with your parents?”36

I nodded.37

“Oh, Amy. I’m sorry,” he said. “Really truly sorry.”38

~39

Riley40

(Flashback)41

I met Amy back in Middle School when she was sitting in the hallway by herself, crying. I went over and sat beside her.42

“Did something happen? Why are you crying?”43

“M-My parents.”44

“What did your parents do to you…?," I trailed off, realizing that I did not know her name. "What's your name?," I asked.45

“Amy. My name...it’s Amy.”46

“What did your parents do to you, Amy?”47

“Look at me, dude,” she sobbed. “I’m a mess. My parents burn me, beat me… whatever punishment they invent, it’s usually for my ‘enjoyment’. I’m-I’m barely eating, barely drinking and barely staying alive, you know? No… I take that back. You don’t know. Your mother and father feed you daily, not once every fortnight. Your parents love you, don’t they. Don’t they love you?”48

I nodded.49

“Well mine don’t! Mine don’t give two shits about me…”50

“Can I help you though? You can stay with my sister, Vanessa, until I turn sixteen and a half. You can stay with me forever… or at least until you turn sixteen and a half.”51

“You can help me by looking at me. Look at the hell my parents caused me. I have bruises and scars all over my body and in my mind too….” she trailed off, turning to me for help.52

“Riley,” I said. “My name is Riley.”53

“Okay, Riley. Look at me and tell me what you see based on what you know.”54

“Scars and bruises. This might sound weird to you, Amy, but I see a visible diary. Do you get what I’m saying?” I stood up to face her.55

“Yeah, I get it Riley,” she said.56

“I’m glad.” Amy was standing now too, facing me.57

“Riley?,” she asked.58

“Yeah?”59

“Can I talk to your sister...is she a social worker?”60

“Sure you can talk to her, but she is not a social worker just yet. She’s a Senior at Garden High School and she could use the practice. Maybe she can help you out. My mom’s a big fan of helping people as well… maybe se can get you out of there. Maybe you could live with my family.”61

“Maybe. It could happen,” Amy pondered aloud.62

I touched her hand and she flinched back. “I’ll never hurt you, Amy. You don’t have to be afraid of me.”63

“That’s hard to do, Riley,” she said.64

“Not really,” I told her. “Just try it. Look, what grade are you in?”65

“7th grade. I’m thirteen.”66

“That’s a shame. I’m in the eighth grade and I go to Garden next year. I’d miss you.”67

Amy started tearing again. “Riley?,” she said.68

“Yeah, Amy?”69

“I never asked before--what’s your last name?”70

“Williams. Riley Williams. I never caught your last name, either.”71

“Daniels,” she whispered.72

“What’s that?”73

“Daniels. Amy Daniels,” she sobbed. “Please don’t hurt me, Riley. Please don’t.”74

“It’s alright, Amy. I’m not going to hurt you,” I told her. “Trust me; I won’t hurt you.” She nodded, tears coursing down her cheeks still. “Come here.”75

“She came and threw her arms around me. How did she know I wanted to hug her?76

~77

(Present Day)78

“Riley? I’m ready now.”79

“That’s good… you’re sure you want to come with me?”80

“Well I’m ready, now. And the fresh air would do me good.”81

“Amy I know, I just don’t want another supermarket incident. Here, listen. What if someone recognizes you?”82

“Riley, I don’t know,” she said, exasperated. “Do you want me to go?”83

“Honestly?,” I asked, “No, I don’t. I’m afraid for you, Amy, you know?84

“But what if someone recognizes you?,” she asked. “You’re all I got and I don’t want to lose you. Neither would Alexandra or Vanessa.”85

I hugged her. “I’ll be careful. Now, where are your clothes?”86

“By the door. You just have to drag them downstairs.”87

“That’s fine. I’ll just call Alex… see if she can come stay with you.”88

“Riley?,” she asked, just as I was putting in Alexandra’s phone number.89

“Yeah?”90

“Do you think that we can get our own washer and dryer?”91

I sighed. “It’s gonna come, Amy, it’s gonna come.”92

She smiled. “Good,” she said and pulled her food out of the microwave.93

~94

Mr. Davis95

(Flashback)96

I’ve known Amy for most of her schooling here at Garden High School and she always looks miserable and she would avoid eye contact with everyone except for one person, Riley Williams. I know him because I’ve been dating his sister for the past two and a half months.97

It all started back in April when I was subbing for the Study Hall teacher, Mrs. Andrews, because she had gotten pregnant. When I saw Amy, I recognized her from around school and I said “hi”. She never responded, just took out her headphones and notebook and began to write.98

As a teacher, I am supposed to proctor the study hall every now and again. When I got to Amy, I took a long hard look at her. There were marks all over her body.99

“Come here, please,” I said. She paused the song on her iPod and followed me out the door and into the hallway. She looked at me.100

“Yes?,” she asked. She looked ready to break down.101

“Show me your arms, please.”102

Amy extended both of her arms and I examined them. “You’re Amy, right?”103

She nodded.104

“Stay here, Amy. I want to talk to you somemore, okay? Those look horrible.”105

She nodded again. Is that all Amy ever seemed to do?106

~107

When I came back five minutes later, Amy had her iPod on and singing “The End” by Bullet for My Valentine. I tapped her and she blushed.108

“Put that away and come with me, Amy,” I said quietly.109

“Uh-huh,” she said, stowing it in her pocket. “Where are you taking me?”110

“To an empty classroom.”111

“What for?”112

“To see if we can get you some help.”113

“Riley Williams is helping me,” she said defiantly.114

“He’s only seventeen, Amy. We want to find some place better for you.”115

“I’m happy with Riley, though. I don’t want to go anywhere else,” she replied, still straining to hold on to her composure.116

“But, Amy, come on. What does a seventeen year old boy know about taking care of a sixteen year old girl? We’ve got to find you a better place and talk about what’s happened to you… how this”--I gestured at her arms and face-- “came to be.”117

“Can I have Riley there, please?,” she asked.118

“Of course you can have Riley there. Do you know where he is this period?”119

“Yes. In room 312 with Mrs. Smith,” she said, regaining composure. “Do you know where that is?,” she asked me.120

“I do know where that is,” I paused. “Why don’t you tell me about your home life, Amy?”121

“Does it look like fun to you, Mr. Davis, to go home and find your parents ready to torture you? Is it fun for me to have to climb up and down a ladder to get in and out of my house to keep the ‘Filth’ confined to my room? Is it fun to be beaten, burned and starved? Of course not, Mr. Davis!”122

“Amy, I never said it was fun for you. I know that it wasn’t fun.”123

“So… why do you want to take me away from Riley? His family is the only one I trust.”124

“I know.”125

“They’re the only ones… who treat me like an actual person. They don’t yell at me or anything. Granted, I get to run the occasional errand, but that’s it. That’s right. None of the Williamses would do anything to hurt me.”126

“Amy, listen to me. I want you to get away from your parents as much as Riley does, but he’s only seventeen- he can’t take care of you the way an adult can and that’s what the three of us are going to talk about.”127

“Alright,” Amy said, making a beeline for room 312 and waiting for me. She was smiling and that made me smile too.128

“We gets to see Riley!,”she gushed, apparently excited. She knocked on the door and opened it. “Can Mr. Davis and I see Riley, please?,” she asked.129

“Amy, you always seem to forget that I have two Rileys in this period," Mrs. Smith said, smiling.130

“Sorry. I meant Riley Williams.” He gathered his stuff up and met us out in the hallway.131

“What’s going on?,” he asked in lieu of an actual greeting.132

“Mr. Davis wants to take me away from you!,” Amy burst forth, finally breaking down. “I want to stay with you, Riley. I don’t want to leave.”133

“Did Vanessa suggest this, Mr. Davis?”134

“Yeah. I take it she didn’t tell you then?”135

“No, she didn’t. This is the first I’m hearing of it. But let’s back up. Where would we put Amy?”136

“She could live with Vanessa and me, Riley, until she turns eighteen and can get a place of her own.”137

“Why can’t she stay with me?,” Riley retorted.138

“Because you’re only seventeen, Riley. You’ve got your own life to worry about,” I said. “I don’t want you tied down--neither would Vanessa!”139

“Mr. Davis, I don’t mind keeping Amy with me. She’s a good girl and a hard worker. It’s going to be hard for her to put her trust in you--believe me because It took almost a year--7 and a half months to be exact--for her to trust me. She wants someone to trust, but that trust won’t come for a while, you know?”140

“But, Riley, Amy can learn trust. She can learn to trust people a bit easier.”141

“It’ll take you forever, Mr. Davis. Believe me.”142

“Why do you think it takes you so long to trust people, Amy?,” I asked her.143

“Are you blind--look at me, Mr. Davis. Bruises and scars from my own flesh and blood. If you can’t trust your family or the few friends you have, who can you trust?”144

“Us, Amy,” I said, taking her hand. She stepped back, crying again.145

“Don’t hurt me, please don’t hurt me,” she sobbed.146

“Amy, shhh,” Riley said, “It’s okay, no one’s gonna hurt you.”147

“But why should I have to leave the man who respects me?,” she asked, sobbing again.148

[Should I make the following Chapter 2 or as a part of Chapter 1?]149

Riley150

Between you and me, I think Amy has a major crush. I mean, sometimes I think she’s just a little too happy to be near me and she cries more and more. She says that it’s the memories she has, but I honestly don’t think so. She’s never acted this way before, and it’s starting to slightly worry me. I haven’t said anything to her because I think, deep down, that I’m her crush because I think I feel the same way about her. I don’t know if it’s because I’ve been her guardian or because I’ve always had feelings for her.151

I should tell you more about me now. I’m a caring person because that’s the kind of person my mom raised me to be, and based off my own experiences (that are not as bad as Amy’s but bad enough.). I was bullied when I was younger, between the ages of five and ten people made fun of all the normal things about me--my height (I was pretty tall), voice (it was a bit squeaky), my clothes, brains and demeanor. I was a little shy, but I was smart (as I said before) and could be fierce if need be, but that was hard at first. It’s much easier now.152

As I’m sitting in the kitchen, in the dark, with a cup of hot chocolate, I hear a shriek from upstairs. I set my cup down and crash up the stairs, my heart pounding, questions swimming fast in my mind. I saw Amy In bed, her eyes wide open and glassy.153

“What happened, Amy?”154

“A dream… you… and-and my parents… fighting…”she stopped there and tried to calm down.155

“Why were your parents and I fighting?”156

“Because of me, Riley. Because of me.157

“Did you do something?”158

“I told them I loved you and you told them you wanted to marry me and the three of you had a physical and verbal fight. And Riley?”159

“Yes?”160

“You died. My mother and father shot and stabbed you right in the heart.”161

“That’s a terrible way to die, you know.”162

“I know, but that’s why I screamed.”163

“Because I died? Or because your parents were fighting me?”164

“Because you died. Riley...I don’t want to lose you. I love you, I really do.”165

And she fell asleep once again.166

When I woke up the next morning, I was dazed and still somewhat sleepy because I spent at least two hours thinking about what Amy said. “I love you, I really do.” Was she just dreaming, or did she truly mean it? I looked at my clock--5:35 am--and went back to sleep. Breakfast can wait.167

~168

9:19 am, my clock read. I considered going back to sleep, but then I jolted up--9:19 am? How did I sleep this late? Did I even wake up at 5:35--i did.169

I got out of bed and made a run for the bathroom and heard the shower running. That’s just great, I thought. Who’s in the shower? I heard singing as I got to the door. It’s Amy, I realized and knocked on the door.170

“Amy? Are you almost done?”171

“Yeah. You oversleep?”172

“Yeah. Could you hurry up, please?”173

“Yeah, yeah. I’m getting out of the shower now,” she said. I heard the door open and I stepped back so I wouldn’t get hit. “Hi Riley. You look shocked.”174

“Just thinking. You startled me,” I said softly175

“Hm. What are you thinking about--maybe I can help.”176

“It’s personal, Amy.”177

“So it’s about a girl, right?,” Amy pressed178

“Yeah… about what she said to me.”179

“Well, out with it, Riley. What did she say?”180

“Basically, she said ‘I love you’. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got to get ready for class.” Amy moved and I ducked into the bathroom.181

~182

Amy183

After I heard Riley close the door and turn on the shower I padded down the hallway to my room and opened my closet. Choosing clothes is always hard to do because though my “visible diary” is going away, you can still see some things. Right now I want to hide until I know it is safe to come out, until everything has faded away.184

~185

“Amy, are you ready yet? Riley called up the stairs.186

I was brushing out my hair. “Yeah, I’m ready,’ I said, putting the brush down and coming down the stairs two at a time.187

“About time, Amy,” Riley said fake-irritably.188

“I know. Let’s go,” I said making an attempt to leave the house.189

“Wait,” he said.190

“Riley, come on! You were so gung-ho about leaving--”191

“Do you love me?,” he blurted out.192

“What kind of question is that? Of course I do. I love you, yeah. Why?”193

“Because last night you said that you loved me and went back to sleep and I got curious so I figured I’d ask.”194

“Why not when I got out of the shower?,” I retorted195

“’Cause I wasn’t ready.”196

“Wow… okay then. Let’s just go. We’re already late as it is,” I said slipping my book bag over my shoulders and grabbing my jeans, stowing them into my jeans pocket.197