My Spotlight Dance

Ever had a song that evokes memories for you? Are they good memories or bad? Do you listen to the song just to remember? I’ve got those songs and some would laugh at the one that I recall the most, but this isn’t one of those stories. This story involves the first major crush I ever had and the embarrassment that went along with it.1

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He was perfect; so tall and dark with beautiful ebony hair and chocolate eyes. I loved him from the moment I saw him. It was 3rd grade and he was staying with his cousin, Adam one of my neighbors. I met him and did nothing about it then. I didn’t pay it much attention really until he was gone again after the week. Then I missed him. As the years went by I remembered that adorable boy.
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Sitting in Mr. Grant’s 8th grade world history class I heard rumor that there was a new boy at school and from the word of all the girls around he was gorgeous. I didn’t pay it much attention; I was too interested in making good grades and keeping up with my friends. From what I heard his name was Ben Doting and even though I thought the name sounded familiar I never connected it to the boy of my past. That is until lunch.4

Sitting there with Amanda, Libby, Lisa and the rest of our normal lunch group I glanced up as the cafeteria doors opened. I didn’t pay much attention seeing that it was just Adam with a few of his friends; you know the I’m too popular for you group. 5

Suddenly Amanda asked, “Who is the new boy with those guys?” 6

“Oh that’s just Adam’s cousin, Ben Doting,” Libby replied. She had a crush on Adam from the day she first saw him and knew all there was to know about him.7

At those words my head shot up. Ben Doting was Adam’s cousin? Could it be the one I had met so long ago? I turned to look and was struck at the gorgeousness he had grown into. I was in love already. My heart pounded just looking at him and none of my friends noticed my blush as their conversation returned to normal.
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The days went by and all I wanted was for him to notice me as a girl, as someone he could be interested in. I knew it was hopeless though; I was short and fat; my hair was a flat mousy brown that would never hold a style so it stayed in a pony tail. I could only dream that he would notice me.9

As the year continued I watched him hook up with various girls all from the popular group because he wouldn’t lower his standards. The fall dance passed by and I was a flower on the wall, the Christmas dance came and went with me serving the punch, Valentines came and though I sent him a candy rose I just couldn’t put my name on it. 10

Of course by then all of my friends had figured out that I had a major crush on this guy and didn’t make it easy for me. They teased me mercilessly and even sent him little love notes signing my name. When it was time for the Sadie Hawkins dance I knew I was in trouble. This time though instead of my friends writing the note I got together enough guts to write him a note asking him to the dance, placing it on his desk right before he got to class.
At the end of class I had a note sitting on the top of my purse and waited until the next class to read it. Although I had hoped that Ben would say yes I had been realistic that the answer was no and although he was very kind in his refusal of attending the dance with me it still hurt. I didn’t ask another guy, because there were no other’s I was interested in and even if I was my body and status at the school would keep the answers to a no.
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The day of the dance arrived and there I was all dressed up in my denim skirt and country top but no one to dance with during the slow songs. Again I was holding up the wall along with my other dateless friends. Soon we went over to browse the DJs tapes and struck up a conversation with him. He seemed sweet and wondered why we didn’t dance with anyone during the slow ones. 12

I told him the truth, not thinking anything of it. I told him how I had asked a boy but that he had turned me down. He asked me the name, so I told him. I never could have guessed what he was going to do with that little bit of information. 13

The DJ played some more fast songs and my friends and I all danced in a large circle, at the back of the badly decorated gym, head banging to the harder songs and goofing off during the others. Suddenly the DJ came over the radio saying he had a special spotlight dance he wanted to find a special couple for. 14

My friends and I laughed and just moved to the side of the gym but then I was shocked. He called for me to come to the front of the room to stand by his system. I couldn’t move; I was so shocked. My friends had to push and prod me all the way up there, laughing the whole way. 15

I know I was blushing then but, of course, it only got worse. The next name he called the name I had given him. He called Ben to the front. At that the whole student body laughed and I was beat red, bowing my head and praying the floor would swallow me. Through my lashes I saw Ben’s friends shove him into the front, much as my friends had done me. He looked embarrassed but I know it couldn’t be as bad as I felt.16

The DJ then announced that we were his spotlight dance couple and for the others to clear a space so we could dance. I prayed the song was fast and short but again I was disappointed. The song, a beautiful one by Garth Brooks was very slow and meant for lovers holding each other close. 17

Yet as we stood there not knowing what to do, some of the kids cheered us on to at least begin dancing. Shyly I turned to look at him and him to me. Gingerly I raised my arms to place them stiffly on his shoulders as his hands rigidly settled on my waist. Together we swayed to the music watching the audience around us instead of each other. 18

I saw my friends all smiling and knew that they would be ready and waiting to pick at me for the rest of the dance if not the rest of the school year about this. I saw his girlfriend of the time with anger and jealousy etched in her eyes shooting daggers at me. At that I smiled and looked up at him though he didn’t look back, I couldn’t believe it she was jealous of me. Someone he would never look at in any romantic manner.19

Finally the song was over and we quickly dropped our hands. I whispered a quick, “Thanks,” and turned to run. I think I heard a “No problem,” as I left the circle of applauding and laughing students. In the bathroom I stood over the sink and just stared at myself, praying that I calm down before my friends find me all red faced. Of course I was right, the moment they found me standing there the riling began and after a bit I was able to laugh about it, even to venture out of the bathroom to face the rest of the student body.20

Walking back onto the dance floor I wondered if anyone would say anything to me and had no clue what I would say if they did. Lucky for me I didn’t have to figure out anything because things were back to normal; I was just a nobody to the popular crowd and no one looked my way. There was one thing I was sure about though; that was a night I would never forget. A night I danced with my major crush and had someone jealous because of me. I shall never forget the song “What She’s Doing Now” and my uneasy dance with Ben.21