With a weary sigh, Jonas allowed the heavy axe to sink into the surface of the stump, his weary hands to drop to his sides. A large pile of split firewood lay to either side of the stump, manifest proof of the old woodsman's long hours of work. Glancing ruefully at the sun, Jonas decided he'd best get a move on and start with the hunting, or there'd be no dinner tonight. Shouldering the axe one-handed, he turned, abandoning the chopping block and woodpile in order to return to the small cabin a few yards away. After resting the axe against the side of the cabin in its usual place, he went inside and washed his hands, enjoying the cool rush of purity of the water sliding over his skin. For good measure, he rinsed his face, too. 1
He was expecting a guest, and Ma always said you had to look your best for company whether you were ugly or handsome. Jonas was not handsome, but he prepared anyway.2
Knowing he wouldn't want to be distracted by such peripheral matters when his guest had arrived, Jonas cleaned, covered, and set his rickety wooden table for two. He even dusted for good measure, wiping clean the trophy skulls and bones hanging from the walls, the bookshelves with their many volumes on forestry, astronomy, and folklore. Only when the air was choked with gray dust did he concede that he was doing more harm than good.3
The sun was setting by the time Jonas left home again, now armed with knife, hatchet, rifle, and a basket in order to acquire dinner. He made use of the basket first, taking a deer trail through the forest in order to emerge by the riverbank where cloudberries, wild blackberries, and miner's lettuce grow. On the way, he spotted a patch of candy cap mushrooms and took several handfuls in order to make dessert. He also collected a thick tangle of wild tea, for after the meal.4
Since he didn't want to lug the full basket around while stalking tonight's main course, he returned it to his home before setting out for meat. This cost him some time; dusk had fallen by the time the hunter located suitable prey. He shot and killed the two rabbits quickly, gathering up their bodies in a hurry. He was beginning to worry about his guest -- it was getting dark, and still his servants had not summoned him.5
It was on the walk toward home, staring at the newly-risen moon hovering in the dusk sky, that he heard the first howl. Jonas' blood froze in his veins. 6
In sudden panic, the old woodsman threw the rabbits down and drew his hatchet, running as fast as he could toward the source of the sound. Tracking it wasn't difficult, for the sound came again, a primal outburst of need and longing.7
Gasping for breath, with no time to wonder what had happened to his faithful servants, Jonas burst out of the forest, charging toward the little house, not unlike his own, from which the howl had emanated. All the while, he prayed that he wasn't too late.8
But when he pushed open the door, he was forced to stop in horror at the scene which lay inside. The one-room cottage looked as if a hurricane had been through it, and the epicenter of the damage was the old woman's bed. There was no old woman there, though... not anymore. Only ragged shreds of flesh and splintered bone remained. Gore soaked through the mattress to drip on the floor.9
The wolf standing on the bed threw back its head and howled again. This time the sound was chilling, shot full of terror and grief. The tattered remains of a gingham dress and a red riding cloak lay forgotten all around the animal.10
Jonas closed his eyes, feeling old and useless. The old werewolf had been too complacent, trusting in the spirits to warn him when his daughter's First Change was upon her. They had not.11
Too late, indeed.
Author notes
This is my twisted version of Little Red Riding Hood. The wolf is Riding Hood herself. Jonas is the huntsman. The puddle of gore and bone is the grandmother.
A contest entry
- Anything And Everything by SoulSociety.
200 points, ended November 25, 2008, 40 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Imagination by MidniteRockers.
370 points, ended December 17, 2008, 73 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - He doesn't get the girl by GypsyBorn.
175 points, ended November 5, 2008, 19 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Savannah's great comeback contest by Surreal Rhapsody.
600 points, ended October 31, 2008, 12 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - It's Only A Fairytale If There's Lot's Of Blood... by Toxic Paradox.
600 points, ended November 12, 2008, 12 entries
Honorable mention
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Options Galore by Dawn Bon.
100 points, ended November 4, 2008, 11 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - I want werewolves!!!! by amanda vampiress.
245 points, ended November 12, 2008, 22 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 17 of 17
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XD I still enjoyed reading this story! Your version was much better than the regular to me. I prefer anything with the paranormal to ordinary characters. Great write, and good luck in the contest.
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[imagine me clapping]
i see some good writitng here, just not exactly my type of story. Good luck in ym contest! -
Have you ever read any Angela Carter? She wrote a very similar story, although rather than being a wolf, the child accuses her grandmother of being the wolf and has her lynched by the villagers.
Very interesting, I like it.
Thanks for entering my contest. -
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I have not. That's an even more cold/brutal twist than mine I think. XD
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'The Bloody Chamber' by Angela Carter. If you get a chance to pop into your library or whatever, I suggest you read it - it's a set of short stories rewriting fairytales. They're so good!
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Wow, that really is a new way of telling little red riding hood. lol, I'm guessing the woodsman doesn't gut daughter to get the old lady out, like in the story.
Definetly origional, I enjoyed my read.
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Very Clever
This is very clever. At first I thought, forest, huntsman, guest? I knew it reminded me of a fairy tale. Even though it was a small piece of writing, I think it had a lot of describtion about what was going on. Love it!
Good luck
Lolly xbeginning: 3, language: 3, plot: 4, ending: 4, dialog: 3, characters: 5.
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oooh nice twist! loved it! really well written and bravo!
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This was quite an interesting take on Little Red Riding Hood. I enjoyed it though. I think I prefer your version to the original, most likely because I favor horror over a happy ending and a moral. lol keep up the good work.
If you like werewolf stories, you should check out mine. It is called Moon's Fury. Just a suggestioin however.
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wow. Very, very strange. Strange is a good thing though! Very, very good! I love it! Torn apart... ugh.
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Wow, what a twist to this one. I never expected Red to be the wolf at all.
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Really good twist on the old red riding hood tale. You described everything well, I liked the adjectives you used; very good. I loved all the details. It seems liked, lately, all the stories I've been reading have had like NO details. I could really picture the whole last scene. Good job, and thanks for a great read.
KEEP.WRITING.
-Melli<33 -
I like it! Very original! Your twist was very nice, made me wonder what would happen next. I like your use of adjectives too; very desciptive. I could picture in my head the bit at the end. Very detailed and I like that your words.. flow.
Thanks for the good read!
beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.
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Great take on the classic. Particularly, nice attention to detail, such as with the assorted things the woodsman collects in the forest. As well, the standard pacing and quaintness of the fairy tale story format is respectively upheld, which is good.
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Great
Wow.. that was beautiful in its use of imagery... The beginning middle and end flowed well together and kept me involved. Usually i am not a fan of the traditional warewolf stories, but this had me intreagued... I liked how you did not keep the main chatacter as "little Red," but instead shifted the focus to Jonas "The woodsman' Well done and thank you for the entry!
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Wow...
When you said a twist, you really weren't kidding!
I love how you used expressive words to create a picture through the reader's mind. Although I feel very sorry for little 'ole granny, Little Red on the other hand gave me a total new perspective of her innosence
. No one would have thought that she could be the culprit, I can't help but feel even more sorry for Jonas. All alone and hopeless, taking in the dreadful scenery as if his own hands were covered with blood.
Very intrigying, I love to hear other people's versions of classic tales.
If you have any more of them, be sure to msg. me!
on!
beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 4, ending: 4, dialog: 2, characters: 3.
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I wrote it for a contest, in fact, which has only two entries. If you like this kind of thing, I bet the contest owner would really like another entry...
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